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The Virgin Techno Fan The Chad Ostrogoth Raver Refuses girly drugs, consumes only cocaine or speed Listens to Ben Klock post-2009 Not a plełb Must consume ecstasy to enjoy party Buys weak 10 pills from ghetto kid drug dealers outside club, contains mostly PMA and caffeine Possesses the knowledge of SNTS's true identity Never had to queue for Berghain, always on "DJs only" guestlist Weak body and mind Onlv ever visits Her Damit Festival Posts Instagram stories from all events he attends As he enters the club Has the worst comedowns, always suicidal and crying Thinks it's cool to go to Berghain, has to check-in on FB to show people the walls of the old powerplant roar to welcome him to ex-girlfriends on Tuesdays Can rave non-stop from Friday to Monday without even eating or drinking Thinks Funktion One is the only good Has been denied more times than he has been accepted Personally invited by the owners of Bassiani to come party sound system in the world Never has bad comedowns, never suicidal, mpeccable mental and physical strength Follows Joseph Capriati on SoundCloud Keeps the yellow sticker on the Doesn't buy music, gets all the best stuf directly from DJ friends asking for feedback Always readv to rave Phone camera for 2 weeks Leaves club with jacket still in wardrobe and pose to other virgins Thinks Bjarki is "hard and dark" Personal friend of Kobosil and Dax J so he can bring home the hang tag Knows inner circle drug dealers Gets premium stuff for free Pavs 25 to see Maceo Plex Listens to Paula Temple for chilling down Queues for 4 hours to get into Ostgut Ton Nacht Marcel Dettman follows him on Instagram Spends all his money on Beatport denied at the door, starts crying in front of crowd Posts "Sky And Sand <3” story on Snapchat, Always misses the best sets, has to go to work on Monday morning Enters club without ever getting searched Needs shorts to ventilate chiseled quads, causing p---- to activate on both gay men and straight women doesn't even know it's “Aaron" Doesn't know you can refill water bottle in toilets, spends 100 euro/night on water Doesn't even bring phone to the club Regularly invited by 10/10 girls and guys for hour-long gangbangs in dark area Was never invited for raunchery by even 1/10 overweight gay BDSM guys Un-ironically says Adam Beyer is a techno DJ

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin Techno Fan vs The Chad Ostrogoth Raver

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The Virgin Techno Fan The Chad Ostrogoth Raver Refuses girly drugs, consumes only cocaine or speed Listens to Ben Klock post-2009 Not a plełb Must consume ecstasy to enjoy party Buys weak 10 pills from ghetto kid drug dealers outside club, contains mostly PMA and caffeine Possesses the knowledge of SNTS's true identity Never had to queue for Berghain, always on "DJs only" guestlist Weak body and mind Onlv ever visits Her Damit Festival Posts Instagram stories from all events he attends As he enters the club Has the worst comedowns, always suicidal and crying Thinks it's cool to go to Berghain, has to check-in on FB to show people the walls of the old powerplant roar to welcome him to ex-girlfriends on Tuesdays Can rave non-stop from Friday to Monday without even eating or drinking Thinks Funktion One is the only good Has been denied more times than he has been accepted Personally invited by the owners of Bassiani to come party sound system in the world Never has bad comedowns, never suicidal, mpeccable mental and physical strength Follows Joseph Capriati on SoundCloud Keeps the yellow sticker on the Doesn't buy music, gets all the best stuf directly from DJ friends asking for feedback Always readv to rave Phone camera for 2 weeks Leaves club with jacket still in wardrobe and pose to other virgins Thinks Bjarki is "hard and dark" Personal friend of Kobosil and Dax J so he can bring home the hang tag Knows inner circle drug dealers Gets premium stuff for free Pavs 25 to see Maceo Plex Listens to Paula Temple for chilling down Queues for 4 hours to get into Ostgut Ton Nacht Marcel Dettman follows him on Instagram Spends all his money on Beatport denied at the door, starts crying in front of crowd Posts "Sky And Sand <3” story on Snapchat, Always misses the best sets, has to go to work on Monday morning Enters club without ever getting searched Needs shorts to ventilate chiseled quads, causing p---- to activate on both gay men and straight women doesn't even know it's “Aaron" Doesn't know you can refill water bottle in toilets, spends 100 euro/night on water Doesn't even bring phone to the club Regularly invited by 10/10 girls and guys for hour-long gangbangs in dark area Was never invited for raunchery by even 1/10 overweight gay BDSM guys Un-ironically says Adam Beyer is a techno DJ

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