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: Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)11:47:46 No.68661631 >get off bus >saw cute girl walking her dogs >she looks right at me >avoid eye contact like a scared lil boy jesus christ, i'm 32 years old 23 KB JPG View Thread

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Anonymous 106419206 Насе 1 h A brazilian walks into a bar, but he can't afford anything, so he leaves immediately 38.7 kB JPG 5 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 106419273 Hace 1 h ... This is the pinnacle of German humour and it's pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absolute spirit bomb of a comment, and then reading it out loud in his disgusting language "schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him.

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: Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)11:06:42 No.878335416 Google • 10m Business Insider Police say Arby's manager urinated in store's milkshake mix Arbys MIX N МАТСH 2-6 MIYN MATCH Adobe_20220517_110333.png 431 KB PNG >on a roadtrip >Drive thru Arby's to grab a bite >It's summertime, they brought back the limited edition orange cream shake, decide to try it >It tastes really bad >Telling my friends it's horrible, they insist that it's really good >Try it again at a different Arby's, it's actually really good this news article appears

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: Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)14:40:16 No.878325075 >Get to be alone in the woods >Be manly as f---, high test >Get to be like the unabomber but less of a f----- >freedom to sodomize trout, no one bats an eye 67 KB JPG >live natural lifestyle >chad raccoon hat Why the f--- haven't you taken the woodsmanpill anons? Cities are not strong enough to contain our autism. : Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)14:41:39 No.878325118 >>878325075 (OP) # >freedom to sodomize trout 285 KB GIF

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A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse "yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin

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: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate EERE EKECEEEEEEEEER 172 KB PNG donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?

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>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- 23 KB JPG >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her l'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)00:11:28 No.64827515 >be me >uni >spot a super cute girl working the salad bar in the commons >drop dead gorgeous, deep brown eyes and soft, silky black hair >even with COVID masks I could tell she 553 KB PNG was beautiful >chat her up >she had a brace around her index finger, I find out she got mauled by a squirrell trying to feed it >Imao'd with her >shuffle away with my tray of salad like a p---- >decide to approach her at the end of her shift >phone number on a paper, I approach her and shoot my shot >bf, to no one's surprise >I thank her and tell her to have a good day >feel like a retard for a moment, it really seemed she was interested >I see her from time to time working there throughout the year >l always chat up workers there, sometimes I wouldn't immediately recognize her with masks >she clearly felt bad about rejecting me, nice girl >l never felt any regrets Shoot your shot anons, the worst that happens is that they say no. If they're a bitch about it, they're not good people anyways.

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Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)08:27:40 No.68662744 How do I break a finger as painlessly as possible? Called in sick to work, boss asked why and my autism kicked in and I said I broke my finger. 24 KB PNG Have decided on right pinky. Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)08:28:59 No.68662755 >>68662744 (OP). Just put it in a cast/brace without breaking it dumbass No, actually on second thought go slam your finger in a door hinge. Sage.

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09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907>>47829939 >>47829951 >47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536>>47830601>>47830697 >>47830737>>47830847 >>47830857 >47831328>>47832066>>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513>>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179>>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 ► >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?

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: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)21:36:39 No.878303129 > Be me >21 Yo Ugly Virgin >0 Fem Interaction for half a decade >Started talking to girl from reddit >Talk goes great 211 KB JPG > Don't know name, didn't see her face >she asks me to meet her in a hotel room >We meet, actual girl. fat so ok i have a chance >Get her Drunk and high to proceed to sex > Cuddling in bed, she Video calls her *friend* and makes him confess his feelings to her >while she's laying on my chest, guy says i love you > Bitch now starts moaning, ah ooh mmmm > I try to kiss her, she says no. keeps moaning and telling him how naughty she is for doing this with a stranger. while actually doing nothing with me > i turn around and sleep , wake up she's gone. my stuff still there. Both Kidneys still there >MFW i got used to cuck some guy, still virgin >Why are women like that ?

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: Anonymous 11/10/18(Sat)08:15:49 No.97268595 My cousin went to Florida for fear of being shot in Hueland. He got shot yesterday... 53 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/10/18(Sat)08:30:18 No.97269166 >moving to america to avoid getting shot 38 KB JPG

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: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot

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: Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)06:02:20 No.878323939 >get ad on YouTube >Cover screen >turn off volume >close eyes >count down They will not win. 38 KB JPG

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: Anonymous 07/24/19(Wed)14:44:37 No.805437247 5 STEPS TO REACH HITLER The rules are simple: >Go to Wikipedia >Use the Random option >From there you have to 39 KB JPG reach the Adolf Hitler articule using the links >You only have 5 moves Good luck everyone

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39% 8:47 PM /b/ /b/ BOARDS /B/ 716313601 716320298 Anonymous 716321829 1 hr. ago >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, l'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. 5 REPLIES

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1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"

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