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4chan - Whimsical Warfare: ABDACOM and the Battle of the Java Sea

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I Anonymous 07/22/17(Sat)16:38:51 No.54467412 ► >>54467520 File: It took three days of fie(...).jpg (63 KB, 640x324) >>54465698 Now as we all know, during the great Japanese Pacific regatta, the Allies found themselves in a little bit of a pickle. You see, they also wanted to join the Regatta, but alas, none of their ships were big enough to enter the race and they didn't have enough pocket money to buy bigger boats. Fortunately the allies were good friends with the Chinese who taught them all these neat little acrobatic tricks. Using the acrobatic skills that they had been taught, they managed to stack all of their boats on top of each other. They named this new pseudo-cruiser called ABDA. But who would crew this new racing boat? Since each of the allies used one of their ships for the project, it was decided that each of them would pilot their own part of ABDA. The British would get the top part and would be responsible for guiding the ship along the race track. The Americans would be in charge of communications between all three ships. The Dutch were given the important job of driving ABDA towards victory. However, in order to stay together, complete cooperation was needed. If they were to fall over, then they would be disqualified from the race. When the day of the big race came, the Allies met the Japanese at the starting line in the Java sea. After a count of three, the mighty Japanese cruiser roared to life and zoomed off into the distance with a colossal amount of spray being kicked into the air. Meanwhile the British said "Forwards." The Americans told the Dutch "Right" and the Dutch responded with "Links". The ABDA immediately fell apart, as all it's bits pulled in different directions at once. The Japanese felt very sory about what happens, so to make up for it, they held a surprise party for the NEI, the Philippines and Singapore to make the Allies feel better. They did too good a job though, and accidently scared all of their Allied friends away from the Pacific. Source: http://www.worldnavalships.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13120

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Uploaded Jul 16, 2020 at 07:25AM EDT

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4chan

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Whimsical Warfare came about from a discussion on /tg/ on taking well known events in military history and subjecting them to disneyfication in order to make them as innocuous and cuddly as possible. Due to the more general nature of the content, and the lack of a /his/ entry, I felt they belonged here instead of being in the /tg/ entry.

ABDACOM was an attempt made early in WW2 to form a multi-national joint command in the pacific, to counter the threat of Japanese invasion to the Philippines, Singapore, the Dutch East Indies and other colonial territories held by the European Powers.

Unfortunately the whole thing was riddled with power struggles, communication issues and a general lack of co-ordination between it's members; culminating in the disastrous battle of the Java Sea that was quickly followed by rapid Japanese conquest.

For further info, please see:

ABDACOM: https://www.defensemedianetwork.com/stories/abda-the-unsuccessful-band-of-brothers/

Battle of the Java Sea: https://www.thoughtco.com/battle-of-the-java-sea-2361432

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4chan - Whimsical Warfare: ABDACOM and the Battle of the Java Sea

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