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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

Notes:

I know Kaidou has fans, but I don't care. He's not looking so hot after we see what he's actually like, especially in the past.

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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A true definition of a SHLAD

virgin Shlad Chad Shlad Combination of "And then, Lad turned himself into a Has tonka toy Lad and s--- truck fetish p------------ and he called himself Shlad. Unfunny tonka toy truck jokes He was the funniest s--- Ive seen." - Chad Thundercock The OG Shlad ZOO WEE МАМА НАНА НАНАНАНА.. Made by Reddit moderator, one of the lowest lifeforms on Earth TOP DEFINITION shlad Lad, you have gone too far, yet again., Simply, an amalgamation of the words 'S---' and 'Lad'...pretty self explanatory! Roy: 'God Village, you're being such a Shlad today!" Looks like #wreck #massive wreck #s--- #lad #blunkett creation of by M April 17, 2008 Gizzard CHAD 416 ) Made by some Chad on UrbanDictionary 12 years ago It 69

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A tribute to the LoTR movies.

Virgin Orc Chad Uruk-hai Uses the most technologically advanced weapons available Wears plate armor Literally enters a state of panic if not in a horde Wears s----- low quality "armor" Can go toe to toe with any anemy Disciplined and deadly Can only win battles via outnumbering and swarming Undisciplined and pathetic Kills things just for fun, even if detrimental Only kills what he is ordered to Relies on trolls for siege warfare Army of ~150,000 can't even handle a city garrison, let alone reach the keep Can handle siege warfare on their own ww Army of -10,000 defeated a fortress garrison and got all the way to the inside of the keep Below average intelligence, barely higher than an animal Gets stomped by a cavalry charge led by a mediocre king Intelligence on par with any other humanoid Could only be stopped by a cavalry charge led by an angel backed by literal living forest Gets weakened by the sun Has to rely on trolls, Haradrim, Easterlings, and Nazgul to get anything done No help needed, can do everything on their own Wouldn't even dream of eating Chad Uruk-hai Sun doesn't bother him at all Works for a wise and powerful wizard Works for an edgelord LARPing as Morgoth who everyone hates Makes sure virgin orcs are on the menu for dinner and eats them Knows no fear, will fight and die if needed S----- cheap weapons

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The Virgin Household Pet Owner v. THE CHAD EXOTIC BIRD LOVER

THE VIRGIN "Animal Lover" THE CHAD EXOTIC His animals are easy Zoo-keeper "I love animals!" conversation starters Owns animals Has 20 different ponds on his ranch for various specious of exotic fish, and turtles most people have never heard of OVE ANIMALS Always wearing a different animal everywhere he goes Exotic Only owns a cat or dog. Owns exotic animal Pets ranch at home So typical, only follows the norm and girls always ignore him. Worked in a pet shop as a kid Has his own YouTube channel and got rich off doing so When asked Has a room in his house just for rare and exotic snakes "What pets do you own?" He responds "Yes."

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Virgin US Soldier v. CHAD AUSSIE DIGGER

VS Chad Aussie Digger Virgin U.S Soldier wears this s----- helmet cause hes a little p---- bitch wears a hat cause he isnt afraid of dying uses superior bullpup EF88 stabs enemy with his bayonet 95% of the time the sissy is so pale cause he never got deployed LINET dull and boring multicam great trigger discipline cant even hold a gun tanned as f--- cause he's always outside training, cant wait for his next trip overseas M4 is hard to maintain and properly lol Camouflage is colourful and happy, often called "jelly bean" or "Bunny ears" but it also has several massive cocks on it inaccurate in comparison to the Styer runs away from animals like a baby boots are uncomfortable and must be kept shiny shoots Emus and kangaroos for target practice comfy boots also blend into ground, no need to clean them either

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NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES - THE MAD

The Mad (version A) Weapons of choice is a hair clipper Constantly screams pretty cool ngl Bit his own ear off again FREAKY Has schizophrenia Stabbed Chad with a hammer Gets infinite chicks W-- Mad? Even doctors don't know w-- is wrong with him Beat a dog to death because it had hair P----- himself

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Stand-Up Comedy Show with Virgin, Chad, and Lad (read description before commenting or rating)

NSFW

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Empire History [Virgin v. Chad edition]

Only thing saving him is being the only empire here from the Americas Tried to invade Russia Plagued by civil war and political strife Just here so l Only slightly better cuz it lasted ~1000 years in winter can spite that guy Last emperor was a f------ six year old Hated communism, was Brought to its knees by a short French boi Tried to fit diverse peoples into a single nation No ones even basically Diet Communism Only lasted about heard of him 10 years Only lasted about 10 years Cucked by Japanese Plagued by civil wars and infighting I hate you Small d---- Imao Killed Cut a deal with the J--- to millions of people become a puppet in order to survive, died anyway Couldnt choose between pope or emperor The Wraith The Grand Wizard The Neckbeard The Wizard Holy Roman Empire The Incel Great Moravian Empire Third Reich Gran Colombia Qing Dynasty Cucked by Ottomans Lost America, got back up and did even better than last time No one really cares Only Reich to have colonies Had so much gold he literally devalued global currencies. First one to colonize, about him still was beat by Spain to So confident that he gave Austria-Hungary unwavering support Destroyed Fought off 4000 Zulus with 130 men America Hasn't Zanzibar in Beat to India been relevant Made a beautiful 38 minutes Imao (look up Battle of Rorke's Drift) and China by since 1400s kingdom our of a Beat to the the British desert s------- Steady decline after East Indies 1800s Handed Germany by the Dutch Had the balls to Turned the One of the least significant colonial powers in history Never lost the Sudetenland without Middle of the шош fight a war on two fronts, was able Irish into territory from the war, even asking Czechoslovakia, absolute power move road, average Pretty good as an Empire his bitch Empire Only put so to hold a stalemate only from the TOV low cuz many Kept his military bases on Cyprus just to f--- with them others were significantly better The Virgin Portuguese Empire Called "sick man of Europe" as a polite way of saying "just die already" The Basic Ottoman Empire The Chad The Gigachad British Empire The Brad Mali Empire German Empire Has his little friends, Blocked all non-Soviet the Chadsaw Pact Jesus Christ, he's huge Imperialist power, airlines from his airspace Plagued by civil wars and infighting, Rome was still one of the most stable cities in the world Forced Japan to open up its country under threat of violence was never an Just conquered, didn't care Empire Directly responsible for the spread of the plague Survived for Fabricated the Destroyed the Jewish temple three times, did NOT give a f--- USS Maine incident, declared war on Spain anyway. more than 1000 years in the East Conquered and brutalized while having the NERVE to say he wasn't an Empire Its successor states went on to form the Properly incorporated multiple cultures Only reason Ottomans we're able to take out Did horrible s---, Allies looked past 0000 greatest civilizations in history 0000 0 000 O000 the Byzantines Uト it Went 800 years without Rome being sacked Billions of people today can trace roots to Ghengis Khan F----- the Polish Defeated Spain in Doesn't need a good army, The Thad The Lad The Dad The Gad Soviet Union four months the Russian Winter is all Roman Empire he needs Mongol Empire USA Just destroyed planets, didn't car Blatently xenophobic to aliens, no one Incomprehensibly cares massive Leader is literally in tune with the life blood of the universe, basically immortal The NAD Galactic Empire ঃ३

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Different songs where titles of each song have the word, "MAN."

The Thad Ocean Man The LAD Ramblin Man The Virgin Piano Man "TAKE ME BY THE HAND HELP The Chad Rocket Man misses his wife and kids; family "it's just my job five days a week"; humble Lad actually convinced a woman to marry him... ... and ran away on her. ME invades his friends' personal lives to UNDERSTAND thinks he's better than man was in the credits everyone of the Spongebob movie write his W-- Lad? RAMBLI MAN songs not the man they think he is at home soft, reflective; but still beautiful and HANK actually thinks people go to a f------ BAR to hear him sing sad music brings makes everyone WILLIAMS ptimistic music makes people ponder their place in this world namesake of Elton INKICENA homoerotic in the manliest way depressed John's movie you do realize that was probably your only shot at happiness right? "Oh I'm a ramblin man" No, Lad. It sounds to ME like a lady gave your grotesque ass a chance, and you got cocky. Thinking you could tame more strange. IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! you broke her heart, dude. you really DID go too far Billy Joel HATES this everybody wants to see his WEEN song cheerful, fun song that makes everyone happy idk who Ween even is but this song is fire this time. F---!

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The Virgin Fishing v. THE CHAD HARPOON

The Virgin Fishing The Chad Harpoon Puny arms from never catching fish Full of conviction Great way to impress Stacys Lacks conviction Even virgin fish aren't interested, pathetic Full body workout Ear shattering scream can be heard for many miles Chad's fishing technique moistens local aquatic Stacys, leading to a measurable rise in sea levels Wouldn't even know what to do if he Incredible caught one accuracy Wishes he had a bulge so he could harpoon like Chad. Its okay virgin, maybe one day (lol, nah) Just look at that The boots stay ON raw power Thinks about jumping, doesn't have the bulge to follow through "poon" haha Virgin fish just appreciates being included, recognises this is a great way to go

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Virgin Based v. CHAD NOIDED

The Virgin Based The Chad Noided FAGA used by neckbeards cool outfit Brings back warm nostalgia of beloved character destroys s----- pizza from Domino's destroys braincells ironic? used by DEATH GRIPS. Bet haven't heard of them. They're like super underground. Literally the best hip-hop group you references mainstream, IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT G of all time. now irrelevant rapper unironic? use of the phrase has transcended has a video game irony boring, everyday sound dynamic and interesting dipthong

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Virgin College Student v. CHAD BRAINPOP VIEWER

The Virgin Going To College The Chad Watching BrainPOP Several teachers to Expensive Just Tim and Moby Completely free keep track of Only covers a few subjects Appeals to all ages, genders, Nerdy and nationalities Covers a wide range 2000 of fun subjects Takes several Made with the stunning years to Classes are only visuals of Adobe Flash complete Visually boring two to five minutes long Dynamic courses requested by Classes conform Epic robot learning to the job bro viewers market No sentient robots

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Virgin v. Chad Argument

Virgin Argument First of all, my waifu is NOT 12 years old. She is an ancient Dragon Godess who just happens to use the body of a pre- pubescent girl for appearance (1). To suggest otherwise is disrespectful towards her, and I OUCH! will not stand by and allow it. Furthermore, even if she was 12 and I felt attracted to her, it wouldn't be p---- philia but hebephilia, which is entirely different (2). In fact, some scientists even say it's normal to feel attracted to girls aged 12-14. Not saying that I am, but that's what I read online. SOURCE S; OUCH! (2) Alabautanime.com (U wihipedia.com /hebephilia SOURCE r ouCH! (2) Alaboy ne.com a.com/hebephilia CHAD Yikes! Yikes! (1) OUCH! SOURCE (1) Alabauranime com (J wihipedia.com /hebephilha (1) UR MOM

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Virgin vs. Chad - INTRODUCTION KAIDO vs The Actual Kaido

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Uploaded Apr 19, 2020 at 02:44PM EDT

Origin Entry

Virgin vs. Chad

Notes

I know Kaidou has fans, but I don't care. He's not looking so hot after we see what he's actually like, especially in the past.

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J. The Perverted Summoner

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