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virgin v chad virgin vs chad poker card cards virgin walk chad stride

Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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Virgin Family Pride Ride v. other family rides

The Virgin Family The Chad THE THAD KOM Ride Family Ride HUNT FAMILY RIDE Literally killing dog walkers in the way of segments Trained kids through 0° winter to be ready for spring UCI Approved Literally blocking the entire path Impossible to keep 2 meters away from Banned from Average speed 20mph Triple Crankset TV Family Thad has strava century ride genetically cloned 5mph average speed Sweaty tank top Bike looks like its himself to draft Average speed 50mph from WW2 frames for the Matching Lycra No hands Bikes found in Kids don't even entire family skinsuits for kids to flex bottom of shed Оодо have helmets Aero skin Richmond 51 Park NETOAL NETRON Doesn't need to Planning family Everest ride for summer Halfway through daily double Mum follows Using E-Bikes if hilly, bad "Ecxu..Excuse me." "Get out of the way Garmin GPS З КОMS/s yell, just barges anyone in the way Scrap metal>Hybrid Bike slowcoach!" behind in team car implants in head century

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Choose your emperor wisely

VS The Chad Emperial Flry The Virgin "Imperial Navy" Standard, ran of the mill ship is 4-6 km bong Fainted in pleasing cofors that strike fear ởn the hoarts of Boring grey monotone Literally a Standard ship isn't even 1 km long Imao space dorito Crushes rekelions eery day Easily destroyed by space terrorists Gglng silhin 500,000 km is a Has a giant status Xenos are tolerated Elses shau fabor cérlagn dealh senlenet Gets destroyed when Bruh are these Fakes sereral genérationg to ké copmpleted, dach ship is a work of art hlaszed by the Emptror supposed to be lasers? Placrocannong that shoot sholls the st of nulghorhoods rammed Doesn't even last 10,000 years, weak

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The virgin B-class Fubuki vs The Chadette Monster Queen Psykos

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le CHAD turned into le pickle. FUNNIEST STUFF I'VE EVER SEEN.

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The Joel vs The Drake

The Joel THE DRAKE has nothing but weapons, backpack for tools just like normal human still survives both the desert any and cold Himalayan mountains snarky, charismatic and handsome angry, sad, groomy always depressed gets in insta-killed by some blind fungus-head rando with skinny arms protagonist role lost already in the 2nd game protagonist in every single game he's in beats in CQC trained men who are twice his size post-timeskip romance is just barely implied enemies consist of hobos, wild ill people and some glorified militia rednecks destroyed every lost city he found for the lols has canonically banged both the women that defeated private armies, plus mercenaries, monsters, tanks, helicopters and superhumans assisted him in his numerous adventures

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Virgin Remote Teaching v. CHAD REMOTE LEARNING

The Virgin Professor teaching from home The Chad student learning from home Vewont - Water-cooled gaming rig - Broadcast-quality streaming studio - Family respect independence, leave food at door - Glorious baritone carried by classic Electro-Voice RE-20 - Lumbar caressed by tasteful Gaming Throne - Will make $400 per hour streaming this evening - Seamless co-ordination with peers on group projects - Born in a world where all education free, one click away - Getting a refund on course fees anyway - Actual Hot Wheels 1999 PC - Tiny, messy kitchen table - Family disruption - Annoying voice barely picked up by terrible mic - Hard kitchen chair causing spinal damage - Will make $ Jack S--- $ per hour today - "Can you hear me now?... oh, sorry" - Uses books and physical media, omg lame - Getting made redundant next month anyway

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The Virgin Rock Bassist v. THE CHAD FUNK BASSIST

THE CHAD FUNK BASSIST Loud and proud afro The Virgin Rock Bassist Is very audible Entirely self taught Can only barelyplay 4/4 Is often barely audible Utilises every single string Needs a metrọnome to keep the rhythm Most well Stupid emo hair Can play in every time signature and change Uses a different tuning for every song known member of Only plays in D Standard Formally taught probably depressesd the band Often uses 5 Least recognizable member of the band Irreplacable and 6 string Plays exclusively 4 string basses basses Can play with a pick, fingers, slap, and with his mind Is the main Least talented member of the band song composer for the band Only uses E and' A strings Only plays with a pick lis a better singer than the lead vocalist Live performances have new parts and improvised solos ouch and often sings leads Live performances are just crappier versions of the Will probably end úp being replaced Feels the rhythm and doesn't need a Only sometimes sings bącking vocals and alwayš sounds bad Is more talented than the lead guitarist metronome album

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Aussie Shitposter vs Leaf Poster

THE VIRGIN "Hey, bud" THE CHAD >F------ Aussies AUSSIE SHITPOSTER ABHORRENT LEAF POSTER Relies too much on their reputation, often dissapoints Thinks they're a based country, just another cucked anglo colony Their politics are a complete mystery because no one cares >Based Leaf Cucked as f---, doesn't care Nobody can draw their flag Has never heard of a decent Indecipherable slang Easily recognizable leaf proudly displayed post Not even a livestream of World famous meme PM a mosque shooting can make them interesting Makes effort posts, Spams bait posts, gets infinite (you)s gets no replies Becomes famous simply by the existence of their grocery store prices

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Imperial Weeb vs US Marine

mancheetah0311@reddit.com smokes cigerettes like that cool guy jared did behind the highscool wears stupid cloth bonnet to war The virgin imperial weeb THE CHAD US MARINE Powerful American jawline used for chewing open ratian cans Equipped with the most effective battle instrument ever created Thin and decrepit physique due to malnutrition from plain rice diet and terrible re-supply lines slouched back due to weak spine chambered in glorious .30-06 and blessed with semiauto capabilities by uncle-sam himself Can yeet grenades straight into japanese bunkers from half-court s----- mall ninja nippon steel sword only used for killing pregnant women and infants or himself if he disgraces his honor aggressive incel who knows he will never get laid so he rapes innocent chinese villigers Chest hair akin to a steel wire brush and can be used to clean rust from weapons LONG and THICK forged American steel KA-BAR fragile puny nambu pistol that hurts the shooter more fighting knife used for harvesting war trophies from slain enemies than target slow and pathetic bolt action arisaka made of pot metal that cant compete with speed and fierocity of m1-garand Has sexy masculine aura that can attract southeastern p--- from up to 100 nautical miles away and doesnt need to r--- Nanjing to get laid Wears visually satisfying and effective camouflaged fatigues before it was cool Body is large and thicc thanks to nutrient dense American diet full of bacon, eggs and potatoes

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Virgin Camping v. CHAD SURVIVAL ISLAND

Vigrin Camping Chad Island Survival not alone, has a friend to talk to lamest vacation imaginable spends his time pretending to be homeless exciting outdoor activity regrets going outdoors 000 whole island is his home completely alone HELP! Chad is the reason why he is stuck on island in the first place will get mauled by a bear or something single predator on island cats every bug he stumbles upon bugs, bugs everywhere

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The Virgin Republic of China v. The Chad Republic of China (...in Taiwan)

The Virgin Peoples Republic of China The Chad Republic of China (Taiwan) Treats minorities Less than 400 corona- Throws minorities with respect Tries to infiltrate reddit to cases in concentration camps (insecurity) appear less unsuccessful Polluted cities, incapable of sorting out mess Income on par with Western Europe -rich but does not need to Freedom of speech, can handle criticism No freedom of speech, because of massive Lower income than cannot deal with show off shlong Russia, poor af criticism Democraticy, does not feel the need to Clean cities, fresh air, beautiful scenery Totalitarian surveillance state, control and patronise has to spy on its citizens (fear) More than 80.000 citizens corona-cases

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le SACRIFICE

"The Virgin Prayer" Not actually religious, just trying to "discover" some sort of "spirituality" Can't do it without music from headphones, attention span too short Gullible enough to believe what he reads online about meditation and s--- Terrified of people finding out and thinking he's weird Prayers never get answered, of course "The Chad Sacrament" His is the one true religion Wholeheartedly believes in his faith Doesn't care about the opinions of nonbelievers Only the blood of virgins can appease the almighty Can recite the holy book by heart, wrote it himself

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Virgin vs. Chad - A Virgin v. Chad Poker

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