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The Joel THE DRAKE has nothing but weapons, backpack for tools just like normal human still survives both the desert any and cold Himalayan mountains snarky, charismatic and handsome angry, sad, groomy always depressed gets in insta-killed by some blind fungus-head rando with skinny arms protagonist role lost already in the 2nd game protagonist in every single game he's in beats in CQC trained men who are twice his size post-timeskip romance is just barely implied enemies consist of hobos, wild ill people and some glorified militia rednecks destroyed every lost city he found for the lols has canonically banged both the women that defeated private armies, plus mercenaries, monsters, tanks, helicopters and superhumans assisted him in his numerous adventures

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The Joel vs The Drake


Created by J. The Perverted Summoner Apr 07, 2020 at 02:30PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA
Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all
Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon
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7,734 views (10 from today)

Uploaded Apr 07, 2020 at 02:30PM EDT

Origin Entry

Virgin vs. Chad

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Tags

nathan drake, joel miller, uncharted, the last of us, sequel, naughty dog, videogames, 3rd person shooters

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