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The Chad Crazy The Virgin Fake Таxi Тaxi ТАS Very sluggish, this guy doesn't know how to drive, he just wants sex Likely the fastest form of transportation currently known to man Likely don't get to You get to listen to listen to The The Offspring Offspring Exhilarating Very boring ride. experience, you'll remember this trip for the rest of your Not trustworthy driver, probably life You can trust him with your life, if he was inexperienced you'd be dead already gave you an STD.

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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The virgin Aldi vs The chad Dollar General

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VIRGIN NOFAPPER v. CHAD COOMER

Chad Coomer Virgin nofapper VS has gotten more tail than all of nofapper virgins ancestors combined doesnt fap and still balding p---- hurts muslims doesn't give a f--- about you and just cooms pale as a ghost because never leaves moms basement claims p--- wastes time wastes his own time on imageboards visits his pornfus at every pornconvention thinks entire day about how to restrict another mens penis never seen a vagina scared of touching his own penis p--- hurts woman if I whiteknight them they MUST pityfuck me walks the virgin walk gets free goodies too afraid to visit a convention always stays home I could have saved Hannah confident big d--- energy surrounds him begs government to make laws so the police can stop him fapping doesnt care about d---- of other men secretly homosexual penis is underdeveloped and shrunk from no usage not ashamed of his sexuality seeing pictures of semi naked woman makes him seethe every picture that exists of him shows him grabbing t--- and asses secret feminist no friends ashamed of normal body functions is pro censorship

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Just a fair PSA, too much soy and too much reddit will turn you into a virgin. Be a CHAD or a THAD

God "Oh s---!" "Okay, zoomer." *incomprehensible zoomer slang* *mutters racial dang slurs in Oh s--- oh frustration f--- Oof O-kay, Bo-Boomer "Oh crap!" *Ahem* Yikes references "F---!"

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The Virgin Top 40 Listener v. The Chad Experimental Noise Listener

The Virgin Top The Chad Experimental Noise Listener 40 Listener doesnt even own 20+ noise complaints per day headphones; only uses overly loud speaker systems Is too lazy to pick has only ever listened to music through apple earbuds music for themselves doesn't know about digital mucic formats only uses records (sometimes has to settle for CDs) so they let the radio decide for them when he has to pick music he uses youtube videos calls black people scary da Merzbow or da Death really wants airpods Grips fo today? only audio equiment he wants is a speaker that is another thinks his muic taste is accepts all races has friends IRL 100 decibels louder better than Chads doesnt feel the need to doesn't need friends compare himself to others for validation gets cheap Nikes and treats them like Jordans he has music doesnt dedicate his full attention to the music wears rick owens and isnt afraid of what will happen to it when music is on, Chad is doing nothing else

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Virgin JoJo vs. Chad BoBoBo

Chad BoBoBo Virgin Jolo Characters range from all sorts of crazy designs. Beautiful afro. Has to wear hat to hide porcupine hair. Character designs look very similar and boring even the stand designs look similar as well. Fanboys are annoying and constantly ridicule people for liking other anime. Fans are people who grew up Relies on Stand to fight. Has the power of his nose hair to fight and the power of toon physics. with the show on Toonami and still remember the great Everything has to be a Jolo reference even if The anime and manga is so ridiculous that it takes itself seriously. memories from the show. it isn't. The anime and manga is so crazy that it becomes self aware that it's not serious. Good exampe is how the 4th wall is broken constantly in the english dub. References are very memorable and memeable.

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The Virgin Nostalgia Critic v. THE CHAD RALPHTHEMOVIEMAKER

THE VIRGIN DOUG WALKER THE CHAD RALPH SEPE Looks Jewish Looks Italian Blatant wannabe of the Actually does his own Angry Video Game Nerd thing in his reviews Has an entire skit where he spends Panders to kids basically an entire minute-and-a-half creepily monologuing about getting r---- Pretentious Pretentious hipster by his uncle as a kid while "Ghosts Of hipster douchebag who won't admit to being one Is just an Things To Come" plays in the background ignorant douchebag Would rather die than hypocrite like who openly become the type of most film ignorant hypocrite that mocks himself Bald critics most film critics are for being one "Eh, Spider- "OH MY EVER-LOVING GOD Lives up to his "Nostalgia Verse was pretty Curly-haired SPIDER-VERSE IS SO GOOD I'M cool, I guess" Critic" nickname by throwing GONNA F------ C--" Lives up to his "Movie Maker" nickname a massive tantrum whenever Quantity by actually knowing what the f--- he's something offends his Quality talking about when he lectures his childhood sensibilities Naive optimist audience about the art of film-making Insightful pessimist Obsessed with his stupid Wears whatever he wants Generally reviews businessman costume (including wife-beater shirts) famous/infamous Always qives the fairest, most bias- movies purely so that free judgment possible to basically Jumped the shark ages ago Still in his YouTube prime he can j------- the every film that he reviews, no matter Overrated and unfunny skits that famous ones and Underrated and actually funny skits that how good or how bad the film itself only exist to pad out the runtime mindlessly bash the is (or how politically preachy it is, as prove his talent as a film-maker and are infamous ones of his videos and later turn into seen in his Wonder Woman 2017 often quite relevant to the things that blatantly forced memes and Black Panther 2018 reviews) he's reviewing when he performs them Obnoxiously lowbrow Can make reviewing Can easily make reviewing generic Black comedy, social satire and inside and childish toilet humor the biggest and most s----- reality shows that no one cares jokes for literal days on end and "random" humor for bombastic "pop about (particularly Mystery Diners) literal days on end culture event" films Actually respects his some of the absolute funniest s--- to Talked an entire "parody" of all time boring classic rock ancestors ever grace the Internet album's worth of s--- without even trying about Pink Floyd

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An Unreliable Husband Vs. A Genuine Husband

VAUGHT'S PRACTICAL CHARACTER READER. VAUGHT'S PRACTICAL CHARACTER READER 28 29 A GENUINE HUSBAND AN UNRELIABLE HUSBAND Young ladies, indelibly fix this shape of head in your memories. Any man who will make a natural, kind and true husband will have a head in outline from a side view like this. The reason this man is an unreliable husband is be- cause he is very weak in Conjugality and Parental Love and exceedingly strong in Amativeness. Young ladies, beware of such men as husbands. PREJUDICE. BIGAMY Bigamy comes directly from Amativeness. Con- scientiousness is weak and Secretiveness large. Prejudice is composed of Friendship, Parental Love, Conjugality, Inhabitiveness, Approbativeness, Venera- tion and Destructiveness. These elements when in the lead will give one a strong feeling for something or some- body and against the opposite. POLYGAMY Polygamy is an amalgamation of Amativeness, Spir- ituality and Veneration. Strange, but perfectly true.

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An Unreliable Mother Vs. A Genuine Mother

VAUGHT'S PRACTICAL CHARACTER READER. VAUGHT'S PRACTICAL CHARACTER READER 25 24 AN UNRE- LIABLE MOTHER This is a striking illustration. It will pay all to remem- ber this head formation and especially all men who would select wives who will make good mothers. A GENUINE MOTHER We affirm in the most absolute manner that words can be used that mother love is located exactly where this backhead projects most. mother is to have this faculty highly developed. Young men, fix this picture in your minds. SLOVENLINESS. Why is one slovenly? Because his faculties of Ideal- ity, Order, Self-esteem and Approbativeness are weak. Positively nothing more true. To be a true, natural ANOTHER KIND OF CRYING There are selfish children who seem to cry but do not. They use the cry as a means to an end. This should not be termed crying, but calling, bawling, howling, screech- ing. MOTHER LOVE. Mother love is nothing more nor less than the faculty of Parental Love. It all comes from this one faculty.

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Virginmon Sword and Shield vs Chad-Weegee's Mansion 3

Virginmon: Sword and Shield Chad-Weegee's Mansion 3 Mind-blowing graphics that look like they've Luigi is expressive AF, Emotionless main character reacts to every situation Ugly graphics, looks like a bad GameCube game does not react to the situation came straight out of around him around them. a Pixar film Devs delivered a functional Packed-full of glitches and graphical errors Terrible animation final product Well-animated, Same aging battle system Was not rushed to meet adds to the Christmas-rushed used since 1996 a deadline game's personality Only good thing about this game are the waifus and Toby Fox Improved battle system Empty, spacious areas Does not need Fun, creative areas to rely on waifus to move copies Over half of the Pokedex Cool, gooey sidekick, enables two-player No post-game unlike previous installments removed from the game Multiple endings to create replay-value Со-Оp Devs cited "improving the game" as the reason the Pokedex was gutted, actual game shows no improvement from previous gens Inferior battle tower Devs responded to criticism of the last game, Fun multiplayer mode compared to previous games re-introduced unique Costs $60, plays like a $60 game boss ghosts and $60 for an unfinished, unpolished mess abandoned the mission system

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the virgin transformer v. SHLAD MIXED WITH TONKA TOY TRUCK

THE mixed with an AMAZING truck toy like any shlad is the virgin transformer can only transform HLAD into a gay car tonka toy trucks are epic mixed with tonka Not a tonka truck toy or truck or someth toy truck ing not sponsered by tonka he;s like a not even mixe d with one chad mixed E Tonka red and blue trucks with a tonka are gay truck toy doesnt have a d--- he uses his d--- as a truck loader Not even mixed with a car it just changes into one Great hair for tonka tonka trucks are cool they epic truck driving Shlad has a special spiratual connection with them

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Virgin Pokemon v. CHAD PIKMIN

The Virgin Pokemon (The lesser PKMN) Largest media franchise in the world, still can't even bother to bring back all of the pokemon protagonist is mute & expressionless in the games, whiny & annoying in the anime pumps out games on a semi-annual rate in order to keep up with the flow of merch and anime; not enough time to make the games as good as they can be bosses are given giant expositions and buildup, only for the actual battle to be a complete joke can't even make the bark of trees look right Most games are pitifully formulaic: Beat 8 gyms, defeat an evil team, and beat the elite 4 to become the champion. Has Pokemon "faint" and mainly avoids death to keep everything safe for the kiddies THE CHAD PIKMIN (The greater PKMN) Protagonist is a boomer, still manages to be an extremely interesting character through his countless journal entries Agonizing waiting period between games in order to ensure maxiumum quality Not even a huge franchise, still renders the tiniest leaves in alluring detail Bosses unceremoniously fall from the ceiling and scare the living daylights out of you Fully embraces the subject of mortality, as both your allies and enimies are frequently shown dying; the corpses of your foes are literally used as a reward for their defeat Changes progress mechanics each game to keep things interesting, whether it be through time limits, dungeons, or planetary starvation

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So how do you want it fam?

The LAD "Just f--- my s--- up." The Thad Bowl cut The Virgin Modern Haircut The Chad Mullet The barber simply picked random tools and just went wild The backside of Chads Just slapped a f------ bowl on his head and cut around it Lad probably really doesn't want that job his mom wants him to attend interview for His glorious golden mane flies in the wind hairstyle hasn't seen scissors in years Literally everyone has some variation of this Line is perfectly straight, not a single hair sticking out Too afraid to stand out or experiment, just goes with the safe option Nostalgia hits everyone who sees him Dozen of different hairstyles Sign of fierce masculinity and sexiness combined into one abomination Lad is guaranteed to stand out of the crowd, just not necessarily in a good way His mum can just cut his hair at home, barber doesn't get a single penny Lad thinks it looks cool, it really doesn't Chad doesn't care about Seriously, just look at what Lad put on his head Has to style it up every morning so it doesn't look s----- No f---- given fashion, anything he puts on just becomes a trend anyway Bonus tip: shave a circle on top of your head for that sexy medieval monk look Bonus tip: pair with a horseshoe mustache for a sick 80s pornstar look Barber is doing this same hairstyle for the 20th time today, bored as s---

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Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin Fake Taxi v. THE CHAD CRAZY TAXI

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The Chad Crazy The Virgin Fake Таxi Тaxi ТАS Very sluggish, this guy doesn't know how to drive, he just wants sex Likely the fastest form of transportation currently known to man Likely don't get to You get to listen to listen to The The Offspring Offspring Exhilarating Very boring ride. experience, you'll remember this trip for the rest of your Not trustworthy driver, probably life You can trust him with your life, if he was inexperienced you'd be dead already gave you an STD.

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Alien Controller

Alien Controller

Nov 17, 2019 at 01:14PM EST

Obligatory YA YA YA YA YA

+12

Generic Nick

Generic Nick

Nov 15, 2019 at 10:49AM EST

Somewhat related.

+4

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