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SONG CONTEST No stupid cartoon songs, everything must be written Tries too hard to be manly, only turns out to be full of homoerotic-esque moments we WANT The CArToON SPONGE SonG TO plAY DURInG THe HAlFtimE Show So inherently macho even the girls havea beard You're probably especially for the contest thinking of Lordi and/or the Russian Elaborate stage show Grannies right nowfull of pyrotechnics Nobody remembers it once the next one comes, people only watch it for the ads anyway Players wear helmet and padding, still get brain damage doesn't stop the performers from wearing costumes with no protective The halftime show's glitz and glamour only serve to distract from the utter boredom of the game People watch it for the actual contest itself Runs for three glorious days A product placement ban so strict not even Facebook and the Salvation Army could avoid it you ARE uNdeR arREsT FOr NOt STANdiNG For ThE us AnThEm One day only, three-hour event that only has 11 minutes of actual play Glitz and gamour are part of the contests' DNA, only adds to the satsifaction when your country gets 12 points Songs are capped at 3 minutes to prevent a Shady corporations use it to showcase their latest products collective endrophine overdose across Europe Theme song only makes you wonder whether your d--- has becomethe winning country gets an a noodle Theme song immediately makes you brace for the "GOOD EVENING EUROPE!" Genuinely patriotic, fans are constantly waving flags and ograsmic bout of national pride

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The Virgin Bowl vs the Chadvision Song Contest by Glide08


Uploaded by Drunkenstein Picklester Feb 06, 2019 at 05:36PM EST

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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA
Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all
Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon
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1,023 views (9 from today)

Uploaded Feb 06, 2019 at 05:36PM EST

Origin Entry

Virgin vs. Chad

Source

r/VirginVsChad

Tags

super bowl, eurovision song contest, virgin, chad, virgin vs chad, reddit, spongebob, sicko mode, sweet victory, lordi, russian grannies, halftime

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