sifhappens: lheard my brother say he was going to dairy queen so l suck into his car and he has no idea I'm in here he asked his friend what he wanted and I popped up from the floor 'I was thinking about a milkshake' I have never heard two teenage boys scream louder

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countrytoads catfish simultaneously look like they possess infinite knowledge of the universe and like they just have the mii theme playing in their head nonstop countrytoads

booksbroadwayb99 dog cat dog cat lizard CATDOG lizard Validate me Constructive criticism permitted

twocubes Follow "Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03." I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

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The same can also be said if you remember someone who pissed you off long ago and now have an urge to punch someone in the face.

countingbooks c-parks urbancatfitters *has one uncomfortable interaction* *is f----- up for 3 days* more like 3 years more like the whole life Source: urbancatfitters 207,178 notes

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when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store

suctioning aciddd-angel: suctioning when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store why the f--- would this be my reaction You must not have a best friend

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Hell is other people. And Tumblr.

ST. CHRISTOPHER'S SOUTHEN BAPTIST CHURCH F YOU HAVE TUMBLR THEN YOU ARE GOING TO HELL lord-kitschener: esbiai thats fai f you have a tumblr then you're already there Reblogged 2 days ago from floating-head (originally from recovery-equals-happiness) 209,430 notes

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Tumblr in a nutshell

6omble Cocoune dic+ ds scremig the sitehas drug Porble s

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Fuck

moosekingofhell: homovikings: two words sixteen letters guaranteed to make any student cry thesis statements i just got nauseous and i've been out of school for three and a half years. Source: homovikings

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Kinda feels like that since parents usually overreact to those 2 words.

what i actually said: i forgot what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant Source: arfakita

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"You can't separate the term "faggot" from homophobia."

theblackoaksyndicate+ Dear fellow gamers... You can't separate the term "f-----" from homophobia If you call me a f-----, I'm going to end you, because I don't know what your intentions are from there I don't care that YOU think it means "stupid" or "dumb", all I know is that the word "f-----" preceded a lot, ALOT, of people like me being brutally murdered for reason other than the gender they're attracted to If you're straight, you simply have no place telling me how to react the word f----- because you don't have to live with the history of that word and how it's been used to destroy people like me So, like I said before. If you call me a f-----, l'm going to iail, and you're going to the hospital Period. #w.homophobia #gamergate 57 notes

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It really does feel like that.

Foo Fighters 'Rickroll' the Westboro Baptist Churchh 10:45 AM Monday Aug 24, 2015 psychoticrambling: meladoodle: This headline looks like it's been created by some sort of pop culture meme generator POLITICS Deez Nuts Speaks: Meet Brady Olson, The 15-Year-Old Candidate for President Donald Trump: As president, I wouldn't even have time to comb my hair the way I comb it' this entire year looks like it was created by a s----- online meme generator Trending Source: meladoodle

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You could also add "silverware/certain pieces of food stuck in the garbage disposal" to the list.

aintnobodygotmoneyfodat: loudest noises -dad sneezes -mom yells -trying to get a pot out of the pot cupboard -dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower -flushing the toilet at 3am in the morning -IMAX

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Why would anyone watch this show instead of porn?

iahfy nikoniko808+ starweilder: trying to figure out someone else's shower NAKED Source: starweilder #fav 368,770 notes

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I don't know, that sounds like something out of Jojo to me

outofcontextjojo Thinking on it now, the first dude to look at semen through a microscope must've been like Yoooooo0 #PFFFT #wrong blog #non-jojo 150 notes

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What a sad shark

dO YOU EVEr SAY SOMETHING AS A JOKE AND IT ACCIDENTALLY HURTS SOMEONE'S FEELINGS AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE 134,507 notes Reblogged 21 hours ago from apochedgie (originally from morgrana) Source: morgrana

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+133

Tumblr - so I suck into his car

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sifhappens: lheard my brother say he was going to dairy queen so l suck into his car and he has no idea I'm in here he asked his friend what he wanted and I popped up from the floor 'I was thinking about a milkshake' I have never heard two teenage boys scream louder

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Icecane

Icecane

Aug 29, 2015 at 08:53PM EDT

Is it weird that I'd hope/imagine for the worst case scenario in this? They just randomly stop the car in some parking lot.

"Okay man… I'm ready. I've got the gun that can't be traced to me and I know exactly where to put their bodies. I'm doing it tomorrow."

"Seriously, dude? Your whole family?"

"Yes! I'm so fucking sick of them!"

stifled gasp

+64

TechSaur

TechSaur

Aug 29, 2015 at 04:31PM EDT

This post is beauty.

+29

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