'The Dildo Of Consequences' Has Been One Of Internet's Favorite Sayings Since 2022, But It Was First Used Years Earlier
'The Ancestral Homeland of Timothée' Becomes Viral Phrasal Template To Reference Paris
Bonesmasher 'James Sapphire' Has Gone Ghost On Social Media As He Slowly Becomes Creepypasta Fodder
Oh... To Hit The Road Or Stay In Beacontown... Decisions, Decisions...
K-Pop Fans Have Turned A TikToker Into A Meme After She Questioned Why Aespa's Maknae 'Ningning' Ate First

Dude ded recently and here懑the balad of the mtevee us bsstard whenl wss younger, l had this hish hend who pred our school when l was ike 17 -be Some foreign guy has just joined, is family ust moved her -kved here with hrs dad nd h盻ltte soler, his mmded when he was younger as f--- 17 year old Britbong city called Derry in He gets put in mmy class and ends up siting next to me Call him a hippo because of his f------ industrial size front feeth and his big f------ ips s annoying EB with sht ke Do you Dude is OCD as f--- with his pencilcase and sht Goes nuts if anything gets moved, so his desk is sightly apart from everyone elses >We all get in sh foe tuck wth him on purpose 'We ought to know beter" The sdistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All of a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hippo's desk right the f--- over fatass off the ground through nothing but sheer autstic resentment Teacher huries over and is trying to eplain to EB about Oreg's autism whie Greg freaks the f--- out in his chir, breathing heavily as though e's trying to ift EB looks at Greg and tells the teacher "Ch sory, we don't have auism in Ireland Wi bump with more Anonymous OD wH7H0gC) 03/19/1 4Med120 13 4B UTCS № 538038190 Riplin 2242m h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guy lkes the same vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captain of his team back in reland eE hrm the school has rugby team, he芳ys he'd ike tojon EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because he's new Lower team conaists of fat f---- who think theyre shronk and a couple of kind of fast runners that next half The'l take ham Thomas postions himselt opposte EB urips on hin·grabs him byte neck to pul hm drwn and iterally rols on him like a ticking roling pin -EB didnt even have the bal What the f--- you playin at son I didnt even have the bal, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the faties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground, dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking ike a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTiHO) 031914(Wed)20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041 137 Repbes-altm months without inc Most people don't give him s--- anymore, mostly because he's just a rice guy as long as youre cool to him -No rodents aside from ǎfew close cals with Greg the Midy Autistc Hppo Apparently in Ireland they don't have gangs, they have paramiltaries fighting between whether Northen Ireland is British or Ih >He plays ㅕ down sit bd ican lell some s--- must havo happened because he always changes the subject when it gets close to home Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of n------ who are al apparenty in a gang, he lkes to pretend he's part of this "gang and caries this f------ Stankey knie around that he painted red and blue for some reason One day at lunch Luke comes up to EB and out of nowhere stats asking fhis dad is alcohoic TopE Weveryore rto everyone to Nope aound Well tuck Ird wanna siff sptI had to sht out a daft bastardlke yourset. Jog on "You wirt totuck with the wrong person today Irish boy? EB starts laughing, lHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itie fagpot in a trenchcoat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses Ee gabs tes wnst, takes the tabled tlade from the hands of the chosen one, tosses t wer a fence and punches hrm straight nthe face We're out geting beer, Im with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk me and QT end up f------ Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eight Beer, not me Spend ages taiking with QT, establish that she apparenty realy lkes me back Bro bonding beer EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, OT was asleep when I came down About an hour later hear some noise and a scream from upstairs QT comes nunning dow with a towel round her, soaking wet, and runs out the front door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surprised since I've found him naked before after a night of drinking ンsays she carne on to him even ater ali s--- she sat laughs and says hetook aprt to bed wth hm, it was tnthe table and when she ied onwth him hetossed 1 idioer her Threw her clothes out the window into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 90 Anonymous 0D wHTH00句03.191 4(Wed 20 43:59 UTC-5 No 5380440 14 Rapaas-upum mamum wa 2242|ap -EB·nd rme are, total bros after berg frendsforafew years Having him as a best friend is like having those flashy trainers as a kid S--- :Hm and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anme sht he lied because nobody elseother than me would loses has har er chemo aGotovst hin, EB is gong me 8礇there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together wthout any har -EB lets him draw al kinds of dumb sht on his bad head, lets hm draw a dumb moustache on him l0 -Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookle is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school :EB says hi, ch 右away to him ike noting ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefrant on my old PS2 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (ID woooec) 05/19/14(Wed20 5246 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 쯔53awawmeesaaa Living together in a flst with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember isude Tomm by The Runyacks because it played when s--- went down -EB toldtem that he "an't bokn凱ytrouble lads, have beer and forget that trpeforthe night ye?" 4 of them jump on him, start beating the s--- out of him l tackle one of them to try help him, get the f--- beaten out of me but f--- that if's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beauoful irish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Iterally looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that shi Babbing some incoherent sht in Irish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht n full swing theoughoud, lke a scene from a f------ movie Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me f------ beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Dude is shouting ater the guys who jumped hm Eight beers lad, eight f------ beers What's the f------ craic there lke EB is going back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick We land in Belfast I think thats the capital of the north but not of Ireland, idk how t worked EB never realy explained t, sad you won't understand the builshit poltics unless you grew up there sweetest tuckng old lady ever, says that E was always a rough lad but wk he'd never hurt a sour go 1o vist his nan with EB' greedy f----- This woman is clearly the most influenial family member in the Eight Beer famly EB shows me round Derry, tells me about how if's split religously and shows me this big ass wall Takes me to Befast agan and shows me the place where the ttanic was but -we end up gong to -Get pretty aurk.or place caled The Crown Bar per as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tels me about the history of some stut -Spend a few nights there, have a f------ blast but decide to head home, don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stuation Plaus racbcally a part of Getting close to the end now. Shts hard to wnte, I miss hat f----- Anonymous (0D wH7HOC) 03/114(Wed1 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 "Apparently sme Kdoy Fidder caled Wiharm Wr寸 f----- EB when he wB5 8 kid caught agan night there nearly gets violent when -EB's sister gets beter, but is pretty f----- for ife Never talks, never leaves the house, she's pretty much a goddamn vegetable -EB spends aa of tvs trme oet work with her, rever come弓out arrymore, Not sts r, wth her we sormetmes com e round and drnk wth hrm bu -One nighe while he's sieeping, EB's f----- up sister OO's hve refuses to le ven, house note a55ung EBtht t's not tvs faut, ter's pretty muchth, meen su ct of过'don prt why she'd need to 5ay thot but㎡atever wH7HOQC) EB doesn't realy He doesn't want to go home because he has nothing there other than reminders, but doesntwn .He gets in 갠 few fights when we're out dming anyone who gves hm any 5ht gets mmediately f------ amidated nor e of th s ads everyone chl『 # that he used to do night he's dunk as Dude is fighting back tears >1 had t already guessed, but he starts teling me atout how he blames himseffor what happened to his sis have f------ known better this is his tail uterally canor change hs mind on this s---, looks like he has himse#1uly convincedth Pulls himsetr together We tak about old smes, laugh a bit things actuaily seem back so normal for a whle Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old time's sake, ae? a good hour He eventualy leaves, but before he goes he tells me that "You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do f----- anything for ya Take t easy lad He doesnt show up to work the next day EB doesn't reply to texts or answer place doeant answer is famly tatoo barmed hm5ef for not ㎞owng to protect hes 5ster and that he was too m serable to keep 5ht up I don't need thanked stopped grave every tme f-----

Share Pin Download More

greentext autistic hippo feels

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: png

Resolution: (1632px x 4644px)

File size: 345 KB

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069

View All 43,905 Images

Load 3 Comments

More:

+12

Greentext Stories - Eight-Beers Mgee the Irish Bastard

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Dude ded recently and here懑the balad of the mtevee us bsstard whenl wss younger, l had this hish hend who pred our school when l was ike 17 -be Some foreign guy has just joined, is family ust moved her -kved here with hrs dad nd h盻ltte soler, his mmded when he was younger as f--- 17 year old Britbong city called Derry in He gets put in mmy class and ends up siting next to me Call him a hippo because of his f------ industrial size front feeth and his big f------ ips s annoying EB with sht ke Do you Dude is OCD as f--- with his pencilcase and sht Goes nuts if anything gets moved, so his desk is sightly apart from everyone elses >We all get in sh foe tuck wth him on purpose 'We ought to know beter" The sdistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All of a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hippo's desk right the f--- over fatass off the ground through nothing but sheer autstic resentment Teacher huries over and is trying to eplain to EB about Oreg's autism whie Greg freaks the f--- out in his chir, breathing heavily as though e's trying to ift EB looks at Greg and tells the teacher "Ch sory, we don't have auism in Ireland Wi bump with more Anonymous OD wH7H0gC) 03/19/1 4Med120 13 4B UTCS № 538038190 Riplin 2242m h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guy lkes the same vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captain of his team back in reland eE hrm the school has rugby team, he芳ys he'd ike tojon EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because he's new Lower team conaists of fat f---- who think theyre shronk and a couple of kind of fast runners that next half The'l take ham Thomas postions himselt opposte EB urips on hin·grabs him byte neck to pul hm drwn and iterally rols on him like a ticking roling pin -EB didnt even have the bal What the f--- you playin at son I didnt even have the bal, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the faties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground, dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking ike a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTiHO) 031914(Wed)20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041 137 Repbes-altm months without inc Most people don't give him s--- anymore, mostly because he's just a rice guy as long as youre cool to him -No rodents aside from ǎfew close cals with Greg the Midy Autistc Hppo Apparently in Ireland they don't have gangs, they have paramiltaries fighting between whether Northen Ireland is British or Ih >He plays ㅕ down sit bd ican lell some s--- must havo happened because he always changes the subject when it gets close to home Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of n------ who are al apparenty in a gang, he lkes to pretend he's part of this "gang and caries this f------ Stankey knie around that he painted red and blue for some reason One day at lunch Luke comes up to EB and out of nowhere stats asking fhis dad is alcohoic TopE Weveryore rto everyone to Nope aound Well tuck Ird wanna siff sptI had to sht out a daft bastardlke yourset. Jog on "You wirt totuck with the wrong person today Irish boy? EB starts laughing, lHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itie fagpot in a trenchcoat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses Ee gabs tes wnst, takes the tabled tlade from the hands of the chosen one, tosses t wer a fence and punches hrm straight nthe face We're out geting beer, Im with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk me and QT end up f------ Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eight Beer, not me Spend ages taiking with QT, establish that she apparenty realy lkes me back Bro bonding beer EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, OT was asleep when I came down About an hour later hear some noise and a scream from upstairs QT comes nunning dow with a towel round her, soaking wet, and runs out the front door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surprised since I've found him naked before after a night of drinking ンsays she carne on to him even ater ali s--- she sat laughs and says hetook aprt to bed wth hm, it was tnthe table and when she ied onwth him hetossed 1 idioer her Threw her clothes out the window into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 90 Anonymous 0D wHTH00句03.191 4(Wed 20 43:59 UTC-5 No 5380440 14 Rapaas-upum mamum wa 2242|ap -EB·nd rme are, total bros after berg frendsforafew years Having him as a best friend is like having those flashy trainers as a kid S--- :Hm and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anme sht he lied because nobody elseother than me would loses has har er chemo aGotovst hin, EB is gong me 8礇there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together wthout any har -EB lets him draw al kinds of dumb sht on his bad head, lets hm draw a dumb moustache on him l0 -Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookle is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school :EB says hi, ch 右away to him ike noting ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefrant on my old PS2 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (ID woooec) 05/19/14(Wed20 5246 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 쯔53awawmeesaaa Living together in a flst with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember isude Tomm by The Runyacks because it played when s--- went down -EB toldtem that he "an't bokn凱ytrouble lads, have beer and forget that trpeforthe night ye?" 4 of them jump on him, start beating the s--- out of him l tackle one of them to try help him, get the f--- beaten out of me but f--- that if's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beauoful irish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Iterally looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that shi Babbing some incoherent sht in Irish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht n full swing theoughoud, lke a scene from a f------ movie Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me f------ beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Dude is shouting ater the guys who jumped hm Eight beers lad, eight f------ beers What's the f------ craic there lke EB is going back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick We land in Belfast I think thats the capital of the north but not of Ireland, idk how t worked EB never realy explained t, sad you won't understand the builshit poltics unless you grew up there sweetest tuckng old lady ever, says that E was always a rough lad but wk he'd never hurt a sour go 1o vist his nan with EB' greedy f----- This woman is clearly the most influenial family member in the Eight Beer famly EB shows me round Derry, tells me about how if's split religously and shows me this big ass wall Takes me to Befast agan and shows me the place where the ttanic was but -we end up gong to -Get pretty aurk.or place caled The Crown Bar per as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tels me about the history of some stut -Spend a few nights there, have a f------ blast but decide to head home, don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stuation Plaus racbcally a part of Getting close to the end now. Shts hard to wnte, I miss hat f----- Anonymous (0D wH7HOC) 03/114(Wed1 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 "Apparently sme Kdoy Fidder caled Wiharm Wr寸 f----- EB when he wB5 8 kid caught agan night there nearly gets violent when -EB's sister gets beter, but is pretty f----- for ife Never talks, never leaves the house, she's pretty much a goddamn vegetable -EB spends aa of tvs trme oet work with her, rever come弓out arrymore, Not sts r, wth her we sormetmes com e round and drnk wth hrm bu -One nighe while he's sieeping, EB's f----- up sister OO's hve refuses to le ven, house note a55ung EBtht t's not tvs faut, ter's pretty muchth, meen su ct of过'don prt why she'd need to 5ay thot but㎡atever wH7HOQC) EB doesn't realy He doesn't want to go home because he has nothing there other than reminders, but doesntwn .He gets in 갠 few fights when we're out dming anyone who gves hm any 5ht gets mmediately f------ amidated nor e of th s ads everyone chl『 # that he used to do night he's dunk as Dude is fighting back tears >1 had t already guessed, but he starts teling me atout how he blames himseffor what happened to his sis have f------ known better this is his tail uterally canor change hs mind on this s---, looks like he has himse#1uly convincedth Pulls himsetr together We tak about old smes, laugh a bit things actuaily seem back so normal for a whle Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old time's sake, ae? a good hour He eventualy leaves, but before he goes he tells me that "You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do f----- anything for ya Take t easy lad He doesnt show up to work the next day EB doesn't reply to texts or answer place doeant answer is famly tatoo barmed hm5ef for not ㎞owng to protect hes 5ster and that he was too m serable to keep 5ht up I don't need thanked stopped grave every tme f-----

View Gallery Random Image

+ Add a Comment

Comments (3)

Display Comments

Image Details

2,973 views (8 from today)

Uploaded Jul 07, 2015 at 04:34PM EDT

Origin Entry

Greentext Stories

Tags

Claim Authorship Edit History

About the Uploader

Don Clawleone

Scrapbooker & Commentator & Media Bus Boy

Textile Embed

!https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/988/830/21d.png!

Today's Top Image Galleries

Queen Never Cry meme.

Queen Never Cry

The Social Contract

The Social Contract

Wifejak meme format depicting a female wojak character with red hair and a grey shirt.

Wifejak

My New Character meme.

My New Character / Chill Guy