Tumblr - Image #800,593

Pretty sure that number 5 means that the father isn't there for the child, thus the mother had to teach them how to shave.

Definitive guide:

1. The younger they are when they die, the more it hurts. (Particularly your children)
2. Brought roses home, but your spouse changed the locks. (and is basically leaving you)
3. It's a progression. From Lovers, they become strangers again as things go sour.
4. One bullet is a lifetime supply because that's all it takes to commit suicide.
5. Because father couldn't. Because father is dead/not there for the you.
6. Alzheimer's disease; common in the elderly and causes frequent memory loss.
7. You goin' cray cray. (It's impossible to see your own reflection blink, because you'd have to blink at the same time)
8. Terrorism or some other plane-jacking thingamajig.
9. Dad left for war. They sent a flag and a condolence letter back. It's usual for the military to do this.
10. 50th anniversary. The spouse either left you or is dead.