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Uploaded by Smol Nozomi Jul 18, 2014 at 04:25PM EDT
4chan vacation greentext dead dog
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
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![Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: ntNeO+CD) Why is the High Street dying? ▼ Settings Mobile Home 10/27/24(Sun)00:31:39 No.486039129 'Amazon tax' to save Britain's high streets under consideration by Reeves The British Retail Consortium, the industry's trade body, welcomed the idea of reform but warned against the idea of simply punishing online players Howard Musto 3 days ago [2] Comments amazon PBGOF ASN OGO136A 522 KB PNG >See news that the traditional British high-street is being killed by the likes of large corporations >Figure that my local area needs some monetary boosting >I also needed new headphones as I have sat on my current pair, and broke them. >Maybe I should pay a visit to the local GAME (GameStop US) as I haven't been there in 10 years. >Get in car >Drive to town centre >All parking is paid and metered >Find a free parking space; too short for my car >Nvrmnd.jpg >Find a free space; Disabled parking space >F--- it. I just park in some multi story car park for 8 GBP >I have to walk from here. >Walk past cinema (Abandoned) >It smells like piss and s---; Can't see any piss and s--- for some reason >Homeless person came up to me asking for f--- >F------.png >Screaming crack head in a bus shelter >Literally nobody in sight is dressed politely >Everyone looks like human trash >Can hear people yelling at each other from across the distance >Saw some f------ walking around with his hand down the front of his pants >I want to f------ curb stomp him. >Urban youf wearing balaclavas >Kebab shops with fake hygiene ratings in the window >Deliveroo riders are all nafaris and jeets, delivering wet food to your door on a bike. >Walk past a Greggs; See hobos robbing the sausage rolls and fleeing like in those videos from California >Walk through the main high street, pretty much the only palatable part of my journey. >Abandoned shops >Phone repair shops that steal your information >Poundland being robbed >B&M being robbed >Luxury cars parked outside of dilapidated bedsits >Urban Range Rover, something you never see in a rich area. >Abandoned department store (Closed since 2009) >JW's preaching their retarded religion where you can't give out gifts (And I thought the Jews were cheap) >Trash everywhere >Chavs walking their shitbulls with spiked collars and chains as a leash >Finally make it to GAME >Its closed >I just got back in my car and drove to Currys. F--- the Highstreet.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/934/355/1a7.png "High-street to Hell | /r/Greentext")
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![Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)21:42 No.80240xxx My dad would punish me with psychological torture. Drove me nuts. Here's an example >Tell Dad to F--- Off because Im playing Super Nintendo >Dad, displeased at my French, begins to formulate his plot >Wake up the next moming >Scares the crap out of me >Go to eat breakfast >Small beanie-baby frog cormes out of box What the f--- >Backpack feels heavier than usual -Check middle pocket >Filled with, like, ten frogs Am t >Look out window to daydream as I often do >Beanie baby frog on outside windowsill scared now >Sent out to hall >Pitch black because lights off and drapes pulled >Turn on light ENTIRE F------ KITCHEN FILLED WITH BEANIE BABY FROGS WHAT THE F--- -Heavy knocks on door >Turn around >Man in frog suit pressing his face against the door >Lock the door >A single frog in the middle of the floor on top of a piece of paper Lift up frog >Take note the door, son. >Scared, open door for frogman >Frogman, silently, slowly walks up to me know it's you. Dad," I say >He says in a voice nothing like my father's: Tt is not, Anon." >He takes mask off sit's my Uncle >My dad comes into the house laughing like an idiot p----- myself >Dad laughs and says, "We dont say F--- in this house, boy Now who's up for McDonalds?" Seriously Dad where did you get all those f------ beanie babies from Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)21:52 No.80241XXx 60240709 80240926 There was another time when, while l was sleeping, he drove me about five miles away to where a Russian-American family he knew lived The Russian man and woman treated me like I had lived there my whole life. I was there for twelve hours before my father came to pick me up. Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)22:00 No.80241Xxx here >Dad catches me looking at forbidden websites (read: p--- [This was when I was younger]) >l know he's going to pull something crazy because I had wisened up a bit >He just grounds me from the computer for four days >Four days later, turn on computer >Every single image (desktop, everything's icon, the mouse cursor) was replaced by a weird-looking triceritops picture he made himself >Computer is rigged so that dinosaur roars come out of it 24/7 >He superglued a toy Triceratops to the top of my monitor It was like this for two weeks before he took it off e still has and uses that computer monitor, triceritops and all Frogdad 12/02/10(Thu)22.14 No 80242xxX >Come home from school >Dad's over at a friend's house -Decide to eat ice-cream >He comes home when I'm in the middle of my third bowl >He is dissapoint when I can't eat my dinner -The next day come home >He is standing there in the kitchen with a sterm look on his eye with the Russian man from earlier story Dad tells me to sit down オHe reaches into the fridge and pulls out a container of Moose Tracks !ce-cream, my favoritest ice-cream ever >He pulls out two spoons -H e gives me half a s >After giving me a taunting taste he and Mr. Russia proceed to eat the entire bucket of ice-cream in front of me, savoring every bite and making "MMMMMMM and "OOUUAAAHHH SOO GOOODDDD" sounds >If I try to get up out of my chair my dad would tell me to sit back down -lf I tried to close my eyes or look away my dad would stick his fingers in my sides, which I f------ hated >They force me to watch him and Mr. Russia eat an entire bucket of my favorite ice-cream >After finishing the dessert, he gives Mr. Russia a friendly beer and sends him on his way, and then asks what I want for dinner Frogdad 12/02/10(Thu)22 24 No.80243XxX >>80243390 >Make That's What She Said!" joke to my dad >He is disgusted by that form of humor >Two days pass >Find my closet empty but for one shirt A Turtieneck sweater >He got one of his tech buddies to rig a small microphone up to i sit records my voice and after one second of me talking, it emits a "That's What She Said!" >Have to wear it for a day to school I couldnt tell whether to be angry at or impressed by my dad. □ Frogdad 12/02/10(Thu)22:40 No 80244XXX >Get in trouble at school for putting gum undeneath a desk >I just know my dad is going to pull some crazy s--- >Two weeks pass from the incident >Wake up one moming >A single wad of putty stuck on the ceiling -it >Every night another wad of putty is stuck on the ceiling >This continues for one week >Dawn of the Eigth Day: There is a full circle of about fifteen wads on the ceiling >What the f--- -Dawn of the Ninth Day: Smaller putties spell out "UNDER BED" >Oh god I know it's you dad, Im not scared, I'm not scared >Look under bed >A tiny little man made out of putty >Dawn of the Tenth Day Smaller putties spell out "IN DRAWER" pg >Another tiny little man made out of putty >Dawn of the Eleventh Day. Putties form an arrow pointing to the window >Since it was a school day it was about 5:30 in the morming and very dark -Flashlight comes on REVEALING A GIANT MAN MADE OF PUTTY OH GOD FREAKY AS F--- MASK OH GOD >Dad runs in, "What, What?17 MAN MADE OF PUTTY, DAD. .wait, Dad? That isnt you? >Dad tells me to stay the f--- inside >He runs outside He and the Putty Man beat the s--- out of eachother >Fight travels to neighbor's yard behind hedge >Dad gestures for me to come out of the house walk over to dead putty man >Dad prepares to take off mask NOBODY UNDER MASK >Russian Man steps out of nearby bushes holding a portable radio playing the Twilight Zone theme >Dad tells me not to chew gum in school >We walk back home and they tell me about how hard they worked on this one I think that this one wins. Cant believe I forgot it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/778/512/59b.jpg "Parenting: Doing it right")
![File: image.ipg (271 KB, 1200x1704) Anonymous (ID: ajiozooz) 05/03/14(Sat)16:41:50 No.544855727 [Reply]544856984 >Be a CO in a prison >Decided to play a joke on the inmates >Brought a bag of Haribo Sugarless "Colon- Cleanser" Gummy Bears >Was gonna make Cafeteria boys distribute this to Genpop >Suddenly, a small yard riot >Five people are due for The Hole >The Hole has minimal lighting, small vent, and a bucket to s--- in >They'll be there for a day >thismakesmemoist.tiff >Make sure I give 15 gummies to each of their food trays >This inmate called Jose got 20, since he cocktail'd my buddy last year >Wait for the SHITstorm to commence >Suddenly >"Ey yo, what the f----" >A lifer named Deshawn started cursing and banging on the walls cause I forgot o censor it the last time, jeez are you happy now? >l can hear groaning and moaning >Then it begins >A symphony of s--- hitting metal buckets > Screams >Jose started praying in Spanish, he sounds like he's crying >And then comes the gagging >No vent means >l can hear people thowing up Inmate Dolton screamed "Officer Anon, please help!" "Yo, Anon, Anon, open the goddamn door, muggfugga >Act oblivious Turn on the intercom system for Seg unit "You do the crime, you do the time >Laugh and walk out >Shift change >Next day I found out that Seg Unit is being "disinfected" >Jose winds up on suicide watch >Caf boys got blamed for mishandling food >One caf boy got shanked by Deshawn's cellmate s the smell is percolating in there So how was your day, /b/?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/765/346/5c6.png "5c6.png")
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Uploaded Jul 18, 2014 at 04:25PM EDT
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Smol Nozomi
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