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+20

4chan - /tg/'s magical realm of the week

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You decide to do the obligatory welcoming thing, taking along the welcoming fuitcake thatr's been doing the rounds for e literaly years Like you are pretty sure this thing is alderthan you You knock at the door, very poltely Apparenty the door wasnt closed all the way h of spaned beoas wround tha place her while she was setting her things up There defnbely isnt a secret society of dragons living secretly among the humn ace Well it definitely isnt a secret because t DOESNT EXST brought you your welcoming put it inside by the doar and leave nsuranca covers wacky hiinks re playing soltaire Your game intemuptad you sigh and got up to open You dant think youe A strange woman wares you to let hat into your apartment You're sure your Remember, son Sparky likes peanut butter, but panut butter doesn't like him Thus the brutality af nature Dant Sory."you say, and ty to close the door woman sticks her The hand is a lot more scaly and claw läke than t was three secands ag0 The woman paces your apartmentvouly befone naly getting to business Listen,I need to explain wht you saw back then Yours. member ofおsecret society of dragns that lives hidden amongst the human tace That's right Thanks She smiles and leaves She bursts in agin okay Tm serious! rs of the utmost imponance that you NDT tell anyone you saw me uke that! We could both get into serous trouble- rokay You don't get t.t's not ke thay'l send you to jail or give you a tne or somathing ske that. Wa'e secret Hiddenl That means that if you epen your outh you could gat Damn it, how can I make you understa..wait, what did you say? Huh? That's it? Youre neally going to keap this 1o yoursel? ust lke th? You arent going to blackmal me. or need to brbed with niches from my vast and hidden draconian treasune hoard, or force me to neveal some hidden mystical dragon knowledge that has been passed down through the The dragon woman looks at you for a tew seconds, ike thene's something on your face he suddenly glare You'ne maling this too easy What ane you up to? The dragon woman studes you for a mite longer, then looks over to your cards Hal You SAY you'ne playing soltare, but how can you play solitaine with Uno 1 dont now what you're up so exactly but Im keeping my aye on you ust namember the moment you silip sp? ii be thare of them are Magic cards The dragon woman doeset seem to be listening poinding her stll scaly Soger in your drection okay okay Ths áagen uaman makas hr dramatic .acape sul your apartment door You sigh and g One day, you notice your collection af stolen sugar packets is running low You decide to take a trip 10 the local diner to replenish your supply When you opan the deor, though, the dragon woman is already there, looking as f she was about to knock >She ickly toes her face into a in e ott halal i 쎄 decided i mas going to visit youIBecause I anh your feighber And that's what neighbors do. Tha dragon woman spuiters, bringing her hands to her mouth One hands got a When she takes her hands down, her teath are human agan Ha ha, sily me But m sure it's alright because even thaugh you know Im a dragon you ARENT GOING TO TELL ANYBODY >"Yes. Right. Oh nol ve kept you talking so long, your mouth must be dry! Why dant you drink this sefreshing can of There is a tarly conspicuous hole in You look at the dragon weman, who's stil ring tha temibla axprassion t's prabably loak rice taabutal amle, but as it is now t looksabit lke what you'd ind on on of thase modsl pap the can and chug the contents Once again, the dragon womar's face becomes a beacon of triumph Ahal You fell for tmy cle draconian You thought you were drinking cokel Which you swerel But unbeknownst to you, I secretly added a secret draconan chemical to you s"Okay ,-t's secret draconan chemical produced by 5ecret 3conon tecipe! Anyone who partakes ofrt --0kay -The dragon woman pushes you back into your aportment and closes the door behind her >Now what were your dastardly plans > was going to go to the diner to steal sugar packets ·nduced nto tehng the truth! r, mpossble for you to be10 me o na, no. What were your dastardly plans involving ME7 No but surely you had othar plans? Plans about what you were going to da anca you'd ascentained tty draconian identity? Not really dragon lady looks a bi Quick as a wink, she pinches your nase shut, tilts your head back, and pours the rest of the can down your thoa You've alsa got coke on your s--- now ,-now have you or have you not any plans to reveal to ytody else the tact that madragonT cars are ganerally lactose intolernt Ch.I thinkI mightv gwyou 10o much ocados descand om a single Califomian Wellyou may hae escaped this Sme but this is only a temporary repnevel 'i wing the truth from you her dramatic escape >You spend the net hour and a half reciing truthtul statements to mobody in paticular -Once you frally manage to stop yourself rom talking you head to the dinet -The watress asks you what you'd ike >You' taking apart a radio alarm clock to see how t works >You have no knowledge of electronics, though, so you've decided to sant 1hc componeres by Oh hello I have decided to drop by again, in a fashion that is neighborly Okay She looks 퀴 bit dient than when you ssu her last She's wearing rings an nearly every finger, and a necklace that's almost offensive in its gaudiness Basically. t's a necklace that was designed to say nothing but the person who's wearing this necklace CAN wear this -The dragon woman's caught you sizing up her accessores, and now she looks very proud of herself > see you've noticed what rm weanngl Just a few trng attacts from my mmense dac onan hood . >She sweeps into your apatment lke she owns the place Wall, aight Himmwal,I suppose I do Soal a bit theaty walking around undar the waght of thase pricsless draconian treasures that aty human man would only natutally dasine and which would maka him inciadibly wealthy i ha were to sel them of you drink in >Mou consider gong back to your clock radio·" least swnching on th tee saon -The dragon woman fumbles into her pants pocket -lt takes a few tries because she's wearing so much sout on her fingers Finally she takes out her phone, which she puts so her ear 'Hellol Yas lwilbefight over terr -She puts har phone back in her packat and tums to you smiing that hideous, strained sme >Ste wabcs er 50 door and then turns around s"Oh nol I cant walk out there with all of these valuable riches on mel What CANI do -She pauses, putting her hand on her chin and gazing thoughtfully into the distance ,-On, i know! 8ecowe l trust you 50 much. legve all of these pncelessncorsan atfacts rght here with -Saying so, she takes of her crown and places t ever so gently on your apartment Soor wh her now rm certain you wou n't try to STEAL any f my son al daconar treasures thou Since ni be away at place that is not he a, i dlitely wouldn't be able to put a sap to any of youred dastady schermes r you decided to囟90. ン"Right, Wal、Msee you later, I hav to go tow very fai away uhere I cant saù you She's just standing there, right around the dooframe, watching you >She natices you losking at her and looks away. whisting innocently and go back to >You've got this long thin green pat here, but you dont know what any of the bits on t mean >You put R with the other long thin pieces -The part with the speakar is sort of between thick and thin, though or the thin pieces- Why arent you trying to escape with my dafanseleas draconian atfacts? Thù dagon wornan stomps back into your apartment, looking bit frustrated That's stealing Oh? Anen you bampted, though? Haven'1 you wanted to claim al of thase incredibly valuable riches for your o om the very moment you lad your eyas on "Not realy Admit tt Ever since you discovered I was a dragon yaue been imagining ways to steal away the treares of my undoubtedly substantial draconin h--- s"Well played You must have a keen aye to have detected the trap1 laid out for you But you victory is only temporary Il reveal your true motives >She 5weeps up the crown, the necklace, the mgs and bits of your clock rado -The dragon woman makes her dramatic escape out your apartment door >You sigh, and start looking for anather alarm clock

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Top Comments

Christian Bale

Christian Bale

Jan 20, 2014 at 10:44PM EST

+7

Captainfalcon07

Captainfalcon07

Jan 20, 2014 at 11:26PM EST

That was a good read, OP.

+3

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