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So thery are doing a week long celebration at Eli's school an "Say no to Drugs Had to explain to Diwhat are drugs Ei: Mommy I really want to try the drug which makes you see things that aren't therel Elrs teacher I am calling you because pooped in his pants today, He is changing now, He says he thought it was a fart. We don't use the word fart. He needs to use different language. Eli thinks this is funmy because he had to "pass gas" and went in his pants. We need to work on appropriace behavior and words. Ell: Mommy I saved this gift all day for you in my pocket. (Places it in my hand with a big smile on his face Me: Wow.. It is someone's fingernail. E:I found it in the hallway at schoal and knew you would love it Now put it on your finger Mommy Eli: Mommy YOU are supposed to wipe my bottom. It says so in the Bible. Me: No, it says mind your Momma and she says wipe your ows fanmy. Ei: Mommy I just pooped in the bathtub. You should still let me play because it was just a ER Mommy I want to have a team of people who do what I say and protect me at all times. We will be cool together. Me: That would be called "Gang. Ell I want my own gang Mommy Eli was in his sleeping bag in our room for the complete "camping out experience, Woke up to him talking in his sleep about the benefits of white milk compared to chocolate Even in a heavy slumber, he can't stop talking Eli saw a boot commercial while we were eating dinner last night Elt Mommy, Girls should only wear boots and panties. cool and awasome. Me: DO NOT say this at school-ever Eli peed in his panes the minute befone the school bus came to pick him up. Called school to let them know of his extra clothes in backpack They said they will make him change in the clinic. The clinic is right across the hall from the Vice Principals office She will see Ell and be reminded we haven't returned the "How to be a parent of a behaviorally chalenged kid dud Our required homework from the week prior El: Mommy, I don't think you and Daddy have done a very good job about teaching me how to be good Me: Ei, Mommy said No. Elt mumbla, mumble, mumble... I me a Snake Hale? Elt Yes, Mommy you are a snake hole Me Co to your time out chair- now Took Eli 1o the doctor for his 5 year old checkup today. Eli: Mommy peeing in a cup is the coolest thing wer I cant wait to do it at home. Well if is official. Ei was suspanded from Kndergarten today es falks, less than a month in school and suspended for one day. It was going to be 4 to 9 days, but considering he is just in Kindergarten-one day Will this be my new life for the next 12 years Ell is really smart and loves to argue his point- very articulate lIittle boy Cinging to positives right now. Me: Eli you got a note from your eacher that says you eed to practice self control Ei Mommy, sometimes a guy just wants to be funny and they don't seem to like funny. Plus they read that David book I hate and the book took over my body and made me act just like Me: So you are a standup comedian who was possessed by a children's book teday? Ei: Mommy next cime I poop I am gaing to say ahhhhh yeah baby Ei: Mommy I don't mind sitting by myself in the comer at school Thar's what the big boys do anyways Ell: Mommy don't be mad l don't miss you at all during the day Don't think about scill lave you ves if I don't think about you Yesterday at the grocery store Me: El get over here and quit punching the frozen turkeys Ell: Mommy Idid in! I finally did it! I kissed a grl! Me: El your teacher wrote in your notebook -you had a very bad day. You got a red light Ell: Mommy you said I could be funny or be good. I made the choice to be funny El: Mommy why do insist on not making me look cool You look cool your outfit and there are other cooler kids than me at school. One of them is really small and new and he is cool. Me: You have a dinosaur skate boarding on your shirt with headphones. ·wearing converse te You will never be smal because your Daddy and I are huge Th only thing you need to worry about is how uncool your Mommy is going to be if you come home with another red ight i: Mommy l know why panties are so tight Me uh huh Ell: It's to make girls more beautifuler so the feel pretty

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neet

neet

Nov 30, 2013 at 11:49PM EST

This kid is gonna go places.

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Necro910: That Krieger Dude

Necro910: That Krieger Dude

Dec 01, 2013 at 01:31AM EST in reply to Wilhelm Hohenzollern

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