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Rise Up Inertial Invites @intransitivelie@beige.party Jesus: impossible to kill, reproduced asexually. Jesus is canonically a fungus. Clearly the part the Romans crucified was a fruiting body of some kind, leaving the bulk of the organism below ground, safe and secure. And every Easter, we find Jesus' multi-colored spores hidden in dark places. The rabbits tried to warn us. But now it's too late. He's metastasized across the whole planet. Soon enough, he will come again, and when he does, no cross in the world will be big enough to keep him at bay. *Twilight Zone music intensifies* Mar 27, 2024, 07:06 · · 262 · ★ 418

The Last Of Jesus


Uploaded by Triplem Mar 27, 2024 at 10:12AM EDT

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Origin Entry: Jesus

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FEAR NOT. FOR I HAVE REDEEMED YOU I HAVE CALLED YOU BY NAME YOU ARE MINE
tilthat TIL there is no physical description of Jesus in the Bible. via ift.tt False volcel-official Luke 2:52 He's larger than a baby amateuropinions By the description of him driving the moneylenders from the temple, we can also tell that he fit inside the temple, which gives us an upper bound as well as a lower bound on his size. veraxplus It's been said that Jesus Christ was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple Source: tilthat 3,075 notes D
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Uploaded Mar 27, 2024 at 10:12AM EDT

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Jesus

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fungus, jesus christ, easter, easter eggs, easter bunny, immaculate conception, spores, creepypasta

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