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: Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)12:02:11 No.905306825 112 KB JPG >me be >taking a year long road trip across America in the 90s >right before I left a town or city, I'd pay a h----- to have sex with me >once I finished, I'd beat them up and take my money back plus whatever they had on them and then flee the city >never got caught and I made like $7000 in profit that year >plus I got to beat random hookers up

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Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069

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Anon triggers reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Everyone else 08/31/23(Thu)13:29:26 No.905313556 XPROSPEK SEIKO % IMG_2685.jpg 126 KB JPG How trigger all of internet >be America >always #1 Why do they even bother competing against us

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That $400 is barely enough to pay for Anon's tendies and dewey for a week! What is he supposed to do guys??? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous bruh graduate college 01/12/23(Thu)09:55:35 No.71795647 194 KB JPG >get highest paying job I'm qualified for (23/hr) >rent cheapest apartment I can find (850/month) >have to pay on loans (1k/month) >have to buy groceries for myself (~400/month) How in thee f--- am I supposed to make it

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Anon works at a museum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 100 KB JPG 03/25/22 (Fri) 13:01:26 No.875084480 >be me >worked in a s----- museum >gave tours to classes all the time >the work was boring >the museum sucked >you pay $20 to walk around and read, no interactions, nothing but placards and pictures >start on going joke with coworkers >when training new hires for tours we throw in s--- that isn't true >I decide to give George Washington a middle name >I gave the new hire his study materials >have him shadow my tours and keep referring to George Washington as George S. Washington >nobody questions the S. >new hire takes over tours and refers to him with the S >not a single soul questions him while me and my coworkers are trying hard as hell not to laugh >went back 8 years later after with my own kid for her class >went on to tell her how I used to work here when she was a baby >get to part about George >lady giving tours gets to his part and says "George S. Washington was the first president of the United States" >I f------ lost it >all these years have came and gone >and these f---- still call him George S. Washington >ask her what the S. stands for >she says Smith >you don't understand /b/ >I had to leave the museum I was laughing so hard

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Jesus Christ Anon.. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 08/31/23(Thu)12:24:17 No.905310608 >Be me. >P--- addicted f---. >One night, nothing is working for me, futa, cartoon, gay, femboy, video game characters, b-------, interracial, etc. NOTHING WAS WORKING. >See this picture of Patrick being thick as hell. >Think "why not". >Give it go, focusing on his big ass while imagining a thick d--- just sliding in & out with sound effects, *schlop schlop schlop* >H-------- it's working. >I'm gonna COOOOM >Coomed. >Shame.

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anon doesn't do well with the ladies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 54 KB JPG 01/06/21 (Wed)13:39:26 No.61737841 > be me > in highschool > accidentally bump into girl in the hallway > she says "ew" > mfw this happens on multiple occasions > mfw they aren't even trying to be mean, its just a gut reaction one girl was even very sweet and apologetic. She said she was sorry and it just slipped out. i said it was fine and i continued my way to class. what henious crimes must i have committed in a past life to deserve this? is this punishment for prior sins?

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How does he cum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1677248370232290.jpg 75 KB JPG Realistically, is it still possible to be alive at this point? : Anonymous how does he s---? 08/23/23(Wed)01:08:02 No.189040532 >>189040608 # Very, very carefully. 08/23/23(Wed)01:10:35 No.189040608 >>189041106 # >>189046046 # >>189052650 # >>189055525 # Anonymous08/23/23(Wed)01:25:38 No.189041106 0.189040642 orgettable

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Anon visits the ER | /r/Greentext

DROPSHIP RHINO D--- PILL ANGERFUCK DRAGON POWDER GODS MOST POWERFUL NATURAL STEROID : Anonymous ZERO SIDE BUY NOW EFFECTS OR DIE PNEU VÉLO MICHELIN LE MEILLEUR LE MOINS CHER 76 KB JPG YAYO EXOTICS [Advertise on 4chan] Pine Polles 08/31/23(Thu)14:28:31 No.74578023 >be 23 >wake up with extreme chest pain >worst pain I've felt in my life >go to ER >female doctor asks if I'm sexually active >no >"you don't have to lie about it, you can tell me the truth" >reiterate that no, I am not sexually active >doctor says she has no idea what's wrong with me >tells me to take painkillers, get some rest, and hope I pull through >mfw

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Anon celebrates a birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin women >they gave a slut at our school 575 KB JPG 500 USD to f--- me >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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Anon is a MasterChef | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ¡BC9zbo0 Cowhat you must. have axeady won 97 KB JPG >>439787024 # 08/31/23(Thu)05:40:09 No.439782839 >Be me >Buy 3lb of cheap beef >Eat with massive amounts of ketchup and dill pickles on tortillias >Realize grocery store meat isn't precooked >Stomach status=destroyed

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Anon gets revenge on his ex-wife | /r/Greentext

>Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile I start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition.

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Anon tries to get laid. | /r/Greentext

>go up to a h----- and ask how much for her time >she says 200 for an hour >i ask her if she accepts tf2 keys or earbuds >she says w-- and asks me to leave >i demand her to answer or else i would mge her >nearby 6'7" black pimp wearing apparel a friendly killing lime painted cosmetics Scout would equip >"ay, do we have a problem here" >i tell him why she won't accept tf2 keys or earbuds >"we only accept hard cash ni a, now beat it" >i tell him that this ghetto street is a trade server and that this is unacceptable >grabs me by the arm pulls me into an dark alley, and pushes me against a wall >"aight, looks like you need to be taught a lesson" >takes out two laptops with a mouse from a nearby dumpster and hands me one >"connect to that server ip that's written on the Post-it note next to the mousepad, Scout and stock weapons only" >connect to the mge server and proceed to lose 6 - 20 >"all bark and no bite, huh? never show yo face in my territory again" >run out of the alley with tears in my eyes as he does a Demoman schadenfreude irl and ingame

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Anon at the gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 128 KB JPG 08/30/23(Wed)16:38:56 No.29671855 I really need an answer. >be me >at the gym, benching >see girl come and sit on the bench next to me out of the corner of my eye >she turns around, I sit up, meaning she can get a good look at my face now >when she turns back, i can see out of the corner of my eye that she's looking at my face and looks visibly disgusted, like genuinely in distress >begrudgingly crosses my line of sight (I'm just staring at the ground though >grabs dumbbells from the rack, comes back, and sits on the f------ GROUND, as far away from her bench as possible >starts doing her f------ sets like normal, again sits on the GROUND to rest This definitively proves I'm ugly right? Like, grotesquely ugly. Don't try to tell me this is normal. I don't care what you say, almost nobody has a story like this, and I have dozens. I groom myself, shower every day, dress nice, etc so don't even try to bring that up either. And I don't give a f--- how "weird" you think this story is or the fact I notice stuff like this, I need a f------ answer because I'm seriously losing it. I can't f------ take this s--- anymore.

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes on a road trip in the 90's | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)12:02:11 No.905306825 112 KB JPG >me be >taking a year long road trip across America in the 90s >right before I left a town or city, I'd pay a h----- to have sex with me >once I finished, I'd beat them up and take my money back plus whatever they had on them and then flee the city >never got caught and I made like $7000 in profit that year >plus I got to beat random hookers up

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