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[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: maxresdefault.jpg (65 KB, 1280x720) >starts talking >it's a guy >start stuttering and walk out thedoor >forget to pay >get banned from store Pic related Why am I like this bros. The industrial complex and why I can't get bitches Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)09:57:13 No.74380576 ► >be me >average guy except a lil bit bulkier because I was an army guy >pretty good conversational skills (not retarded sounding while talking to normal people) >at store >bee line for chicken isle >not black but love chicken >Go to checkout >11/10 qt cashier

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/22/24(Fri)00:56:49 No.695254250 >character has a gas mask Yup, that's a 10/10 design

Anonymous | 67852442 174.6 KB PNG 5 min. ago ●●● >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew

Anonymous 145 KB PNG >be me 11/23/24(Sat) 08:24:24 No.927754455 >Check up on the reddit normies from time to time >"My 85 year old grandfather can't figure out how to use his oven - LOL PAINT CHIPS" >"A man hit on me at the gym so I s--- myself and barked at him and shaved my eyebrows in self defense" >I've gotten my Harris sign stolen and given death threats 15+ times but there's no video" >" Why are republicans so obsessed with trans?" Trans flag pfp > Every comment that has any kind of criticism has 3,000 qualifying statements so they don't get harassed " I'm a gigantic f----- and sucked 30 d---- in 41 minutes, but I don't think blah blah blah" Are these real f------ people?

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Anon has a shower fiasco | /r/Greentext

File: 1691418788433600.jpg (131 KB, 1080x1078) 55575 O /r9k/ the waffle stomp dilemma Anonymous 08/14/23 (Mon)01:35:44 No.74375773 [Reply] >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? □ Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)02:04:50 No.74376026 >>74375773 No anon, you should not. You have just written an actually funny greentext. Thanks for the kek.

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Anon can't move on | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG >Be me, 21 >Skinny incelfag no longer >Got first gf >Both virgins, decided to rent a room Horny as s---, kissing starts >Sloppywetsounds.mp3 >Anon I want to try 69 >Points her ass in my face >Real ass person, Boner harder than twin towers >Started eating her p---- >She rest her knees on my side rib >Ate her to climax >She puts enough force on her knees >Side rib boke >Screamed louder than muslim praising Allah >Sent to hospital, didn't talk much after that >Broke up after 2 months >Ass no longer turns me on >Literally afraid when girls go on top of me >Back to being incelfag HOW THE F--- DO I MOVE ON FROM THIS?

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anon wants to talk about games with character conflict | /r/Greentext

Ideal Duo Combination big guy Small Cute girl I R--- I HATE REPE Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)13:38:54 No.647274395 [1] [Reply] ✓ >game has character conflicts Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)13:42:45 No.647274617 ✓ why does she hate rope

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Anon is a magician | /r/Greentext

>be me >smokin some of that giggle bush >super high, dont realize that the smoke has drifted under the door of the apt >neighbors call police >wth 74 KB JPG >police knock, I open door Hello sir. We received a call about you smoking cannabis. I can smell it already, so just come with me Anon. >mind races No officer, this is a magic bag of weed. >he steps in, asks Now how tf is that? >start explaining Officer, when I try to get rid of it, it just reappears in my pocket. I'll prove it! >he gets the face, pic related >bring him to bathroom Watch >throw bag in toilet, flush, then do nothing >he looks around confused Where are the drugs Anon? >mfw it worked What drugs?

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Anon is what he is and finds the joys with it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB JPG 08/09/23(Wed)22:50:20 No.74332767 >be me >ratord >find a job at a warehouse >constantly break something/tasks >everyone thinks im retarded >women in my job talk to me like they would talk to a baby >get turned on by that see you later virgins 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon gets sent to eeby deeby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/23(Tue)00:35:32 No.904356857 1EE84 DEE84 IMG_2898.jpg 543 KB JPG >In elevator at work >push button to go to the 15th floor >numbers go up 1-14 on screen >Elevator stops >Screen says "EEBY DEEBY" f------ christ alive help me

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anonette goes to school with autists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB PNG 08/14/23 (Mon)18:04:36 No.904339030 >be me, 19f >decide to take a course for life skills, whatev >all the students are disabled or full on autists >want to punch them, don't >one of the genetic defect cumbags is actually a normal looking, cute girl >find out she has severe mental health problems >justlikeme.jpeg >we are roommates >possiblefriend.png >don't ask her to be friends because I just moved in anons, what should I do? do I leave or do I stay and risk becoming retarded?

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Anon has regrets | /r/Greentext

Gayporn has way too many views a lot of you are lying Screenshot_20230805-023432.png 1.12 MB PNG >be me >Having a great day reading books and s--- >Remember the time I posted my c--- to 4chan and everyone made fun of it for being micro and circumcised >Day ruined

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous the waffle stomp dilemma 5557 131 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)21:35:44 No.74375773 >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment 3 Replies >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? View Thread

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Anon is forgetful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dokRCjAB 35 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)12:55:01 No.55835042 >at work >go take a piss >forgot for a second that I'm not work from home anymore >walk over to the sink >pull my c--- out >pull back my foreskin and wash my glans >secretary girl was looking for me and walks in on me washing my d--- >awkward and shes like "sorry" and scuttles away >come back to my desk >the girls are giggling >try explaining that washing the penis is very important and that there is nothing funny about this >they are like "what?" (turns out they laughed about something else and had no clue what I said) >got a mail from HR they want to talk about something >the secretary girl is avoiding eye contact with me now will I be fired or do you think there is a chance I can keep the job?

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Anon doesn't like Vegans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 209 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)17:24:21 No.74384806 >deer gets torn to shreds and eaten alive by wolves >fine >guy shoots deer in head, instantly killing it, then having a nice dinner >bad why do vegans believe this 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon beat the system | /r/Greentext

8 KB PNG >be me 2 years ago, 25 >Got job at a contract service company >Moderate load, great pay >Boss say no working on weekends >Weekends are special day he says >Got tons of work friday >Decide to work on weekend >Submit on monday >Boss compliments me for good work >Life good, feels good man >Pile up work then work on weekends >Did this for 2 years >Got promoted to project manager >Earn 6 digits every month >Old workers still stuck in low position by not working on weekends How the hell no one exploited this, did I beat the system?

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Greentext Stories - Anon likes chicken | /r/Greentext

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[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: maxresdefault.jpg (65 KB, 1280x720) >starts talking >it's a guy >start stuttering and walk out thedoor >forget to pay >get banned from store Pic related Why am I like this bros. The industrial complex and why I can't get bitches Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)09:57:13 No.74380576 ► >be me >average guy except a lil bit bulkier because I was an army guy >pretty good conversational skills (not retarded sounding while talking to normal people) >at store >bee line for chicken isle >not black but love chicken >Go to checkout >11/10 qt cashier

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