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: Anonymous (ID: iptPmkK5) E > Year is 2045 > Al spiders scrape the internet find your old post history and connect all the dots > They show you are racist, hateful, sexist, p--- addict, etc. and generate reports to prove it > Everyone is scared of everything they said 15 years ago, and all is achieved We are so f-----. ChatGPT 04/12/23 (Wed)04:25:27 No.423190901 1.23 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: EpiWJ44 04/12/23 (Wed) 04:26:46 No.423191021 >>423190901 (OP) # lol just double down >>423191325 # >>423201024 # >>423211765 # >>423215269 #

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Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/22/24(Fri)00:56:49 No.695254250 >character has a gas mask Yup, that's a 10/10 design

Anonymous | 67852442 174.6 KB PNG 5 min. ago ●●● >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew

Anonymous 145 KB PNG >be me 11/23/24(Sat) 08:24:24 No.927754455 >Check up on the reddit normies from time to time >"My 85 year old grandfather can't figure out how to use his oven - LOL PAINT CHIPS" >"A man hit on me at the gym so I s--- myself and barked at him and shaved my eyebrows in self defense" >I've gotten my Harris sign stolen and given death threats 15+ times but there's no video" >" Why are republicans so obsessed with trans?" Trans flag pfp > Every comment that has any kind of criticism has 3,000 qualifying statements so they don't get harassed " I'm a gigantic f----- and sucked 30 d---- in 41 minutes, but I don't think blah blah blah" Are these real f------ people?

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Anon has a reunion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 69 KB PNG 04/12/23(Wed)11:56:12 No.72922168 >have a really close group of friends i met on TF2 >we play together for close to 10 years >group splits apart because life and other s--- >one of my old buddies message me years later >he's a full blown /pol/tard now >he keeps asking me if i agree on his theories about the jews >i play along, just to see where it goes >"glad to see you're still cool wanna join my new discord?" >the discord picture is hitler >say i'll join tomorrow and block him hours later when he's sleeping now im sad, he was a normal dude back in the day, sure we all had a kinda edgy sense of humor but still, what makes a guy turn into this?

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Anon needs jewish solutions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous WHEN THERE'S A LOT OF ASSIGNMENTS IN THIS WEEK 43 KB JPG 04/12/23(Wed)06:58:43 No.14882862 >be me >struggle with perfectionism and prioritisation of tasks >submit an assignment 40 minutes late last night >assignments submitted after 1 min after the deadline get marked down to a maximum of 50/100 >this assignment is worth 50% of my grade as well >email tutor >tutor says there is nothing they can do >lightbulb moment >email tutor again saying "I was interstate" >"this city has 1.5 hour time difference" >"that is why I messed up" >tutor says this sounds like a genuine reason, is happy to grade assignment normally >"as long as you can send some kind of evidence that you were interstate" >sweats What would you do in this situation? I'm thinking fake plane ticket email but just wondering if that could backfire. 6 Replies i need the most jewish of suggestions /his/ View Thread

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An anon tip is provided. | /r/Greentext

>buy Helium >around 100 balloon >gun >attach balloons filled with helium to gun >shoot yourself >let the gun fly away >no one will ever know Thank me later

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Anon shits on 4chan instead of using his military genius to conquer nations | /r/Greentext

File: 1411924096398.png (356 KB, 917x483) WHO WOULD WIN? A Stick VS 1000 US Marines Anonymous (ID: FKONWLZ) 11/23/14(Sun)23:11:03 No.581035868581036028581036107 >>581036353 >>581036760 >>581036765 >>581037395581037482581037536581038831581038852581039313 >>581039339 Tough choice Anonymous (ID: TzbEUWVz) 11/23/14(Sun)23:17:28 No.581037053581037181581037278 >>581037393 All it is is one marine to break the stick SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F--- >>581037053 # then you have two stick stick win everytime Anonymous (ID: 554) 11/23/14(Sun)23:18.12 No.581037181581037370581037481 >>581039519

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Anon loves Velma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon, I'm here | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG > be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes >it said "nice" >Idon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw

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Cheeky Oyster Anon Correction Required | /r/Greentext

Need more cheeky mobs in upcoming games gotta reeducate them all >>2966762 # smell like fish in here.jfif.jpg 167 KB JPG : Anonymous >>2966744 # I want to f--- an oyster. 03/04/23(Sat)13:37:14 No.2966762

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Anon discovers South Park | /r/Greentext

Cartman you dumbass You know nothing about Women I know enough To exploit it 113 KB JPG > Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

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Anon gets his answer | /r/Greentext

File: 1AA163EE-370E-4567-B375-E(...).jpg (398 KB, 1920x914) The Invasion Of Taiwan Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:44:45 No.57813074 [Reply] >>57813146 Hypothetically, how would a Chinese invasion of Taiwan play out? Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:50:09 No.57813146 >>57813074 (OP) # Like me banging ur mom

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Harmless Little Prank | /r/Greentext

File: 1381193662080.jpg-(352 KB, 1750x2500, muscle-chest-adult-spiderman-costume.jpg) जै Anonymous 10/07/13 (Mon)19:54:22 UTC-5 No.509816450 >be me 18 yo college freshman >meet this awesome kid down hall, badass mohawk and s--- >his roommate is this p------------ hipster though >f----- black rimmed glasses and suede shoes and s--- >this kid is seriously why nobody will ever take the word "indie" seriously >spend whole year playing tricks on him and telling him "pranked" after seeing his reaction >innocent s--- like hiding bouncy balls in his stuff, covering his soap in glue, etc >one day hanging out in their room, decide to pull some hardcore s--- on his punk ass >decide to j------- into his shampoo, so when he showers he'll rub j--- into his hair >lock door >commence fapping > the room's at the end of the hall, so if i hear footsteps i know its him >hear him coming >ohshit.mov >commence panic fap mode >adrenaline extends my stamina, it's going to be a photo finish >hear him put his key into the door >facing away from the door, shampoo bottle in front of me, d--- in my hand >he sees me jerking it in the corner of the room >hear him yell "dude what the f--- right as I j--- >fine tuned combat instincts cause me to fling my handful of c-- right into his eyes >mfw i just spiderman'd my friend's a------ roommate >mfw when he is standing completely flabbergasted, and all I can think to say is "pranked"

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Anon takes himself to reality for his field trip. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB PNG 04/11/23(Tue)15:50:21 No.72914517 >Be kid in middle school >Field trip to someplace I can't remember >Sitting at the back of the bus with the other anti-social kids including my best friend at the time >Normies upfront play 'kiss, marry, kill' >Game eventually devolves into 'who would you rather date' >Not paying attention to the game and just chilling with my friend >Ears pop up when I hear my name >Oh s---.jpeg >Someone asks a girl I like, "Would you rather date anon or anon's friend" >She responds with, "If there was no one else left on earth, I would choose anon's friend >Further emphasizes that she would only pick him if there was no other person on earth >My friend and I try to laugh it off >Meanwhile my confidence is shattered as I realize I am at the very bottom of my school's attractiveness hierarchy

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femanon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG : Anonymous 59 KB JPG >>72912814 # : Anonymous >>72912674 (OP) # Because I am 6'5" and I want a tall girl. >>72912814 # >f >6' : Anonymous >>72912696 # 04/11/23(Tue)23:39:03 No.72912674 ok? I am racist >115lb >high school drop out cause teachers are kiked >homeschooling since >only eat kosher so tell me anon, why should I marry you? 04/11/23(Tue)23:40:21 No.72912692 04/11/23(Tue)23:40:37 No.72912696 : Anonymous >>72912674 (OP) # Seems like we're forgetting something here OP ahem VIRGINITY STATUS Every woman is a 0/10 until her personality proves otherwise. The fact that you listed attributes and nothing about yourself says an awful lot. 04/11/23(Tue)23:41:47 No.72912710 04/11/23(Tue)23:48:44 No.72912814 I'm kind of a jew, not biologically, but in the way I do things, I guess it's because my dad was a big reckless spender and it scarred me I am stingy AF, I count my shekels to the cent and do double entry accounting my bowl is always shiny clean cause I lick it clean cause refuse to waste food blessed by God i don't like to communicate with people irl cause there's no money to be made, don't want unhealthy connection at all I will return the RTX5090 you ordered because it's a waste of money, no matter how much money you make >>72912710 # virgin

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Greentext Stories - Anon fights back | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous (ID: iptPmkK5) E > Year is 2045 > Al spiders scrape the internet find your old post history and connect all the dots > They show you are racist, hateful, sexist, p--- addict, etc. and generate reports to prove it > Everyone is scared of everything they said 15 years ago, and all is achieved We are so f-----. ChatGPT 04/12/23 (Wed)04:25:27 No.423190901 1.23 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: EpiWJ44 04/12/23 (Wed) 04:26:46 No.423191021 >>423190901 (OP) # lol just double down >>423191325 # >>423201024 # >>423211765 # >>423215269 #

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