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File: gettyimages-1133279591.jpg (284 KB, 1600x1067) 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:42:33 No.178661609>>178661988 >>178662195 >>178662219 >>178662344 Anonymous >Be tiny French town in the 1980s >Garfield phones wash up on the shore >No one knows where they're from >35 years pass, Garfield phones constantly wash ashore >Finally locate a shipping container on the bottom of the ocean that's wedged between rocks and is leaking Garfield phones >Government says it's cheaper to let the phones wash ashore and remove them than to remove the crate >Town just has to deal with Garfield phones for the foreseeable future Anonymous 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:57:36 No.178661988 ► >>178666095 >>178661609 (OP) # I hate Monays

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Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/22/24(Fri)00:56:49 No.695254250 >character has a gas mask Yup, that's a 10/10 design

Anonymous | 67852442 174.6 KB PNG 5 min. ago ●●● >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew

Anonymous 145 KB PNG >be me 11/23/24(Sat) 08:24:24 No.927754455 >Check up on the reddit normies from time to time >"My 85 year old grandfather can't figure out how to use his oven - LOL PAINT CHIPS" >"A man hit on me at the gym so I s--- myself and barked at him and shaved my eyebrows in self defense" >I've gotten my Harris sign stolen and given death threats 15+ times but there's no video" >" Why are republicans so obsessed with trans?" Trans flag pfp > Every comment that has any kind of criticism has 3,000 qualifying statements so they don't get harassed " I'm a gigantic f----- and sucked 30 d---- in 41 minutes, but I don't think blah blah blah" Are these real f------ people?

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Anon likes fat girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)22:19:00 No.66508853 48 KB JPG >be me >23 >never had a gf before >decide to put into plan a basic idea I had years ago >only go after fat girls >spend a lot of time looking at very good looking women online who used to be fat >can now tell easily whether a fat woman would be very attractive if she lost the weight >fat girls are easier to date, they're most of my tinder matches, they're the ones who react the most positively to cold approaching >find a literal 10/10 a---- goddess but she's tall and fat, looks like s--- but you can tell there's potential under all that fat >ask her out and she says yes, very enthusiastic about it, have very pleasant date >lose my virginity to her, she was also a virgin (something i found to be very common among fat girls compared to other girls) >talk her into starting to go to the gym with me, first phase >then talk her into changing her diet, second phase >in a few months she loses most of the weight >now i have an extremely loyal and loving 10/10 gf who I'm probably going to marry >mfw i beat the game Tbf my stats aren't that bad and I'm definitely not Chad material.

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Anon drives home from work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 63 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)20:38:48 No.72459486 >be me, driving home from work late at night >need to fart >turns out its not a fart, its nasty ass diarrhea >oh well, ill be home soon >get pulled off by police like 30 secs later >cop tells me to roll down my car window >instantly gets hit with the smell of liquid s--- >asks w-- is that smell, i tell him the truth - i s--- myself > he looks at me with a disgusted look on his face, tells me to go >oh well, ill be home soon and at least its pretty late >park in front of apartment, 4 neighbors are sitting on the porch for whatever goddamn reason >they act like they didnt notice but i know they did >run home asap to clean my s--- ridden jeans Im pretty sure the whole building knows i s--- myself, everyone is acting strange and awkward when they see me. Also, i still have diarrhea

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anon is a femanon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)22:57:48 No.72458636 346780822072211.png 1.85 MB PNG >be me >femanon >fembot >cisgender female >vagina between my legs >bleed once a month out of my uterus >did i mention i was assigned female at birth >did i mention i was a girl >wheres my 300 reply thread : Anonymous >>72458636 (OP) # here's your first (You) 03/05/23(Sun)22:58:42 No.72458641

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Fly the Nest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)07:35:39 No.72456976 What's the most retarded and quirky thing a woman has ever done to you? >be me 17 >ex-gf with big boobs just turned 18 (severally autistic and carried a bunch of ex-boyfriend baggage) >we were having casual sex >starts making jokes about how she's a p-------- now >starts doing mommy roleplay and calling me her 366 KB JPG son >one day at school I tell her to cool it with the p--- jokes >she tries to kill herself by overdosing on her antidepressants the same day >tries to blame her attempt on me because I didn't love her enough >break up with her later on

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Hired help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)10:17:07 No.72458509 >be me, 26, no gf, no friends, started living on my own 5 months ago >started visiting a brothel 4 months ago after I reached a mental low point since being alone in an empty apartment really confronted me with my social situation >frequenting the brothel made fear about sex and women fade for the most part >used to last 30 sec to barely a minute fapping, now last 10 minutes easily as p--- stopped being exciting >getting all the cuddles and kisses Ive craved for so long >still not great at sex but slowly making little improvements, which the hookers remark to me >met a new qt chubbo arab h----- last week, super chill and honest girl >visited her again yesterday >it clicks so well between us we went 15 minutes overtime "on the house" >feeling less lonely, more confident, more masculine, less bored, g----------- every 2 weeks also works as a good reminder for grooming and haircuts >tfw visiting hookers actually has a positive influence on my life Any robot should give it a shot.

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Anon's sister is a big fan | /r/Greentext

This thread just reminded me >family Christmas party circa 2014-15 >sister's husband and kids head home early while she stays to drink and chat with some cousins >sometime close to midnight, she's very drunk and asks for a ride to her house >offer to drop her off on my way back to my apt >wasn't as drunk but really should not have been driving >she's yammering and jabbering drunkenly the whole way >say something like "damn [sister] you're drunk as a skunk right now!" >she suddenly confides in me that she had the biggest crush on Pepe Le Pew when she was younger and would wish constantly that he would chase her around and smooch her >start laughing >we're both laughing now >joke that she should try lying back and imagining her husband is Pepe Le Pew next time they do it (kind of a gross quip but again, I was drunk) >she meekly admits she actually does sometimes >quickly change the subject for a bit before getting to her house and dropping her off >my f------ face the whole way home I think (hope) she was too drunk to remember that because it's never come up again at any point since. Berry, if you're in this thread, yeah I admit I am still kind of embarrassed for you.

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Anon is a racist trumpy | /r/Greentext

File: Engineerava.jpg (20 KB, 146x146) Anonymous 01/04/16(Mon)01:46:55 No.661277454 ITT: Best online gaming experiences >Playing TF2 >Set my name to President Donald Trump >Join red team >Start talking to the guys on my team >Start saying we need to build a wall to keep the terrorists out >Entire team becomes engineers >We fortify the everloving s--- out of our intel room with sentry guns and dispensers >Entire game I was the top player on my team >Vote kicked a kid on our team who said he was Mexican

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Anon slipped up | /r/Greentext

: ENTJ H-------- im retarded 42 KB JPG >>72455247 # : Anonymous >>72455190 (OP) # youre prolly a n----- urself so its fine. kys n----- btw : ENTJ >>72455282 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:07:08 No.72455190 I spent all weekend on /r9k and went out in public for the first time to fill up gas and I accidentally called the cashier a n----- : Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)20:11:56 No.72455232 >>72455232 # Yeah but im also hot so I can pretty much get away with anything >>72455247 # >yeah but I'm hot Shut up n----- 03/05/23(Sun)20:14:15 No.72455247 03/05/23(Sun)20:19:19 No.72455282

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anon is destined to face Chris Hansen with the dateline production team and popo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.46 MB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)20:27:00 No.72457124 Guys help I'm scared and dont know what to do. Here is my story. >Parents charging stupid amounts for rent ($400 a month) so I really want to move out. >saw and add on Craigslist for a bedroom in a apartment >single mom with girl >the deal was that you have to pick the girl up and babysit her for 4 days out of the week and you live their for free >send email for s---- >person replies back in 10 mins and they want to meet this sunday I feel like i should meet up but I dont know if this is a good idea. : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # Are you sure they wont try to kill you >>72457364 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:39:32 No.72457245 pizza delivery anon : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # 400 a month is Jack f------ s---. 03/05/23(Sun)20:40:36 No.72457255 03/05/23(Sun)20:41:58 No.72457264 03/05/23(Sun)20:44:49 No.72457286 : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # what kind of careless mother leaves her daughter with some random dude from craigslist for 4 days a week. sounds like an FBI honeypot to catch pedos. i hope they get you anon

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Anon goes to r/greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/21 (Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ cares 53 KB JPG >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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anon discovers a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous life hack 177 KB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)11:28:58 No.72455677 >be me >live in a city where it seems like it has been nuked >city looks like it time travelled to 60s >literally nowhere to go/explore and wander >most people, if not all people, are mentally f------ retarded, uneducated, uncivilized, some people even behave like feral ghouls (literally) >every time i go outside i get an urge to beat the f--- out of someone, since they all keep looking at me like i'm a f------ vault dweller >be me again >love fallout 3 >decide to download GNR playlist >everytime i go out i listen to the playlist >mfw it feels like i'm in fallout 3 >mfw i don't hate going out anymore >mfw i love going out with my GNR playlist >mfw s--- feels good so anons, what are your life hacks?

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Greentext Stories - Does anyone have the story of anon going on autopilot for a week after taking some drugs/medication? At the end he said that he was a crane operator or something similar | /r/Greentext

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File: gettyimages-1133279591.jpg (284 KB, 1600x1067) 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:42:33 No.178661609>>178661988 >>178662195 >>178662219 >>178662344 Anonymous >Be tiny French town in the 1980s >Garfield phones wash up on the shore >No one knows where they're from >35 years pass, Garfield phones constantly wash ashore >Finally locate a shipping container on the bottom of the ocean that's wedged between rocks and is leaking Garfield phones >Government says it's cheaper to let the phones wash ashore and remove them than to remove the crate >Town just has to deal with Garfield phones for the foreseeable future Anonymous 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:57:36 No.178661988 ► >>178666095 >>178661609 (OP) # I hate Monays

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