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5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re-2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this

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Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/22/24(Fri)00:56:49 No.695254250 >character has a gas mask Yup, that's a 10/10 design

Anonymous | 67852442 174.6 KB PNG 5 min. ago ●●● >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew

Anonymous 145 KB PNG >be me 11/23/24(Sat) 08:24:24 No.927754455 >Check up on the reddit normies from time to time >"My 85 year old grandfather can't figure out how to use his oven - LOL PAINT CHIPS" >"A man hit on me at the gym so I s--- myself and barked at him and shaved my eyebrows in self defense" >I've gotten my Harris sign stolen and given death threats 15+ times but there's no video" >" Why are republicans so obsessed with trans?" Trans flag pfp > Every comment that has any kind of criticism has 3,000 qualifying statements so they don't get harassed " I'm a gigantic f----- and sucked 30 d---- in 41 minutes, but I don't think blah blah blah" Are these real f------ people?

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Anon. Just lie man. It’s to see your writing skill not to introduce yourself. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 105 KB JPG 01/21/22(Fri)20:06:55 No.67093170 >First college essay >It's only 500 words >Just for the English teacher to get a grasp of your writing skills >It's and essay about your life and all the "interesting" things about you I'm already f-----

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Anon works at a petrol station | /r/Greentext

File: 16b.gif (1.51 MB, 425x481) Anonymous 02/05/23(Sun)13:37:32 No.72100730 [Reply] >>72101014 Anyone here /evilmaxxing/? >work at gas station >people constantly leave their credit cards by accident >i used to save them and wait for them to come back and pick it up >now I've just been snapping them in half and throwing them away >when they call in asking if I've seen their card and ill say no 4 replies omitted. Click here to view. ENTJ 02/05/23(Sun)13:47:49 No.72100899 >>72100919 >>72100827 You are on camera you genuine sperg did you not listen to a word I just said?

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Anons make a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CVKPWmoR) /CTB/- Capture The Balloon: S(...) 02/03/23(Fri)14:56:31 No.414730044 22 KB JPG This is the first time since He Will Not Divide Us that we have the opportunity to weaponise our collective autism and steal a Chinese spy craft. Anons have been talking about ground- to-air lasers, as well as drones. Drones, however, might not be able to reach such altitudes. Got any ideas? Previous Thread: >>414716993 →#

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Anon has a VERY specific type | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 143 KB JPG 02/04/23(Sat)22:00:48 No.72101101 Would you date a girl who is a vampire? >looks 13 but is over a century old >can't get a regular job because she looks 13 >very skilled in credit card fraud so can still make some money though irregularly >must stay in your house/apartment during the daytime. usually asleep in your bathtub or under your bed. >will go out and murder people for blood every couple weeks or so. prefers you not ask her about it but will tell you if you persist >doesnt like being called a vampire says she just has a condition >will also go out at night to break into mailboxes to get fraud stuff >cannot eat regular food but can cook for you >will get emotional and teary eyed if you yell at her >will let you hit her and beat her if you want. will heal anything you do to her in minutes anyways >is very in love with you. >is a vagrant used to moving around after a couple months in one place but will stay because she doesnt want to leave you >if she stays for awhile police in area will report crazy serial killer on the loose and feds and state law enforcement will start investigating >will stay if you stay, go where you go. >high chance that if you tell her that she's a monster and she should kill herself, she'll go walk out during the daytime and burn to ashes on your porch >starts to smell stinky if she goes without blood for prolonged periods because her body will slowly rot like a corpse >is very vulnerable when asleep during daytime. almost in coma-like state but can still awaken >can beat you in chess >likes shoegaze. favorite band is slowdive >favorite movie is Amelie >knows how to skateboard fairly well >is fine with you telling your friends or people that come over that shes just your cousin visiting so people won't think you're a f------ p-------- >can fly by shapeshifting weird-ass wings under arms. >will kill anyone that tries to harm you >will refuse to turn you into a vampire no matter how many times you ask

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the power of coom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SGhdxLzG 02/03/23(Fri)06:11:47 No.16971326 frog.png 568 KB PNG 0 t d BIF 8THC NEA& 1700 TEAZ 80A4 747 If I could choose a superpower it would be to make anybody I want c-- hard just by willing it. Think about it.. >some hulking aggressive chad confronts you at the bar for no reason >he refuses to leave you alone >"Alright Chad, have it your way... C--" >he collapses on the floor and instantly soaks his pants with the most potent j--- in existence >the stench fills the room and his moans are louder than a t-rex >he has a heart attack and dies from c------ so much

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Anon trys to fight China. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: G3/enqPA) 02/03/23(Fri)23:11:02 No.414751627 File: E63EC7CA-5623-4C67-9978-4(...).jpg (51 KB, 1280x720) >>414750202 >>414750522 >>414751325 >>414751413 >>414749233 (OP) >>414749233 (OP) >>414749778 >>414749868 >>414750102 >Firstly, buy a space balloon and a RC rocket, or a rocket powered RC plane, with a large sharp needle attached. The RC rocket plane will also need a small built in parachute. >Next, use the space balloon to send the RC rocket into the stratosphere. >Then, release the remote controlled rocket near the chink balloon and use the RC rocket to ram into it. >Afterwards, deploy parachute and allow the rocket to come gradually back down to Earth. >Finally, if it is possible, retrieve rocket when it does eventually land. Alternatively, head straight to the chink balloon crash site and take a picture with it as proof and post it on /pol/. Something similar to this video: [Embed] https://youtube.com/watch?v=rpBnurznFio >RC ROCKET plane, ME163 Komet: https://youtube.com/watch?v=AtgdBFpbIVM [Embed]

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Anon gets scapegoated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 10/08/21(Fri)04:56:36 No.65679822 >be on second date with girl >be having fun and laughing >her female roommate also shows up and hangs with us >we all joke around and have a great night >go home and agree to go out again >next morning she tells me shes no longer interested because of 'my racist and inappropriate jokes' >she literally cracked racist jokes about her roomate in front of me while I literally kept my edginess to a minimum what's actually going on

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Anon likes trans women | /r/Greentext

File: 1665442344950456.png (119 KB, 512x288) Anonymous 02/04/23(Sat)15:58:51 No.29468330 [Reply] >>29468354 >>29468369 >go to gym >see cute trans girl >get so horny i have to leave early Why am I like this? 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 02/04/23(Sat)16:00:12 No.29468354 >>29468378 Anonymous 02/04/23 (Sat)16:01:13 No.29468373 File: Untitled.jpg (32 KB, 509x465) >go to gym >see cute trans girl >ask her to spot me >pic related >>29468330 (OP) You should've asked her out

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Butter is the root of all evil. | /r/Greentext

File: justbutterforme.jpg (6 KB, 290x174) BUTTER BUTTER BUTTER T ☐ Anonymous 02/04/23(Sat)11:36:03 No.893819521 >>893819688 >be me >make popcorn >use too much butter >popcorn is ruined >butter is an evil of Babylon which shall be destroyed for as it is a by-product of the antichrist >no butter in life to ruin my day i hate butter

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Anon is a gay! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son?

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Real and gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/23(Sun)01:38:55 No.893826450 82 KB JPG >be me >gay >out to most family but dont talk about it >just to uncomfortable >no friends to talk to either >getting high with my step sis >so high I come out to her >shes immediately is like "f--- yeah" >quickly showing me pic of past bf cocks >awkward at first but get into it >talk about men, the best cocks, drag shows and other hella gay s--- >feel good i finally have someone i can be gay as f--- around Why am i so happy? Is this how it feels to have a friend you can just be you around?

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Anon is dirty | /r/Greentext

370 KB PNG >go to science club's workshop to make some parts for a new plane >get mask and glasses beacues its carbon fiber and dust is everywhere >other people are doing their stuff on a project >crush.jpg cametoworkshop.exe >i'm in the back but greet her across the room >she looks at me concerned >ffw 1h i ended doing parts, see my hands are black from dust >go to wash myself in toilet >see reflection >pic related why i can't have normal interaction with her?

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Greentext Stories - Anon uses a GPS tracker | /r/Greentext

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5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re-2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this

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