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: Anonymous 232 KB PNG 01/19/21(Tue) 20:36:54 No.845257423 >girlfriend won't stop crying because she got an abortion >get tired of hearing her s-- >go to clinic and dig out fetus from dumpster >glue googly eyes on it >walk in with it while saying 'mom im home' >she cries even harder Jesus, nothing makes this baby killer happy

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Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069

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femanon is a neet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 372 KB JPG 01/09/23(Mon)09:37:14 No.892305292 >30 year femanon >never had sex or a boyfriend >barely go outside except when my parents force >play video games and masturbate all day

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Anon finds a simpler way. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB PNG 01/05/23(Thu)12:49:37 No.71704668 >be me >sociable, but incapable of talking to women in a non-platonic way >have lesbian friend >frequent hugs because thats how women act with their friends in this part of the world >no longer feel touch-starved >no longer feel desperate for a gf its that simple anons

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Anon notices something about Spider-Man 3 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)20:39:33 No.155481485 file.png 1.04 MB PNG >peter Parker turns evil >suddenly says "shalom" when answering the phone Unironically for real no bullshitting actual question legitimately what the absolute f--- did Raimi mean by this?

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anon is sexually deranged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)13:38:20 No.71754650 >be me >4am >schlicking >power cuts out (typical where I live) >vantablack.png >it's so f------ dark >wave my hand inch away from my 42 KB JPG face, can't see s--- >start to imagine I'm in a horror movie >there is someone out to get me >he is going to r--- and murder me >scenes of me being brutally strangled and beaten vividly appear in my head >he's molesting my unconscious body on my bed, in my childhood home >c-- to the thought Why did god make me like this? 2 Replies View Thread 01/09/23 (Mon)15:15:19 No.71755254 : Anonymous >>71754650 (OP) # Because me and the gang have been watching you for some time. Throw out the flashlight. : Anonymous >>71754650 (OP) # I hope that you actually get r---- and strangled OP 01/09/23 (Mon)15:38:12 No.71755386

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Anon fucks up his love life | /r/Greentext

!!!! O god dammmit Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)09:45:03 No.71752745 [Reply] ► >>71752830 >>71753027 >start talking to 9/10 trans women, passes perfectly, even cute when they wake up/no makeup >talking for a few months >ask her to iceskate >she says yes >i (legitamately) get ill 2 days before and cant go >she's been distant ever since >still talk, but she's not as enthusiastic did I just fumble the opportunity of a lifetime? How can i recover? also blah blah transgender groomer jews blah blah blah suck my penis + 3 replies omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)09:51:39 No.71752830 >>71752745 (OP) You could try offing yourself nextime instead of whining about your boring love life on 4chan.

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Anon is regretful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 185 KB PNG 01/09/23 (Mon)16:05:33 No.892296624 >just paid for p--- 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is already possessed by stupidity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)23:46:30 30 KB JPG 3 Replies : Anonymous No.33793869 This is a silly thread but I'm curious. Is there a possible way to be demon possessed and get all of the benefits but still be in control? Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)23:48:23 No.33793876 View Thread : Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)23:49:47 No.33793883 01/08/23(Sun)23:49:49 No.33793885 >>33793869 (OP) # >possessed >in control m8 do you know what possession is?

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anon thinks he's part of the black community | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 178 KB JPG 01/09/23 (Mon)13:15:54 No.71754518 I am a white n----- >mouth portrudes forward >strong brow ridge >big lips >low impulse control and long term thinking >secretly think everyones out to get me >iq 110 so it's not because im low iq (about average) Im 100% white but with the spiritual traits of a n----. View Thread

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Anon is jealous | /r/Greentext

File: C7D28B8C-A3EC-4FFB-98C2-F(...).jpg (117 KB, 750x750) 0 ONE I PICK THE PERFECT SOY JA TO PORTRAY VOU AE YOUR LIFE IS FUCHINGA OVER O Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)09:07:19 No.71752334 [Reply] ► >be me >cashier at work >checking out a girl going through my line >this guy approaches her out of nowhere and they hit it off >he asks her to get coffee and she accepts >while giving her his phone he drops this huge glass jar of artichokes he was holding >mfw im standing there cleaning up all the glass and artichoke water all over the floor while he just secured a date with a girl >mfw >> Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)09:08:39 No.71752343 ► i dropped a bulk jar of phat pickles once as a kid lol

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Anon has social anxiety | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 KB JPG 01/08/23(Sun)17:58:23 No.71751479 >have social anxiety >legit cannot talk to people >they just assume I'm retarded >hate my existence for this >try my best to talk more >every attempt gets shot down by a condescending remark guess I'll just kill myself then

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Anon works at the gas station | /r/Greentext

File: a09.png (387 KB, 680x708) old guy toilet incident Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)20:03:33 No.10555629 [Reply >be me >work in s----- petrol station >deal with 12 year old chavs/roadmen on a daily basis >yesterday an old man walks in >maybe 80 years old >I am at the end till >nobody is fueling up so only him inside here >he asks my coworker who is stocking up shelves if he could use our toilet >he says yes and points around the shelf to the toilets >I watch him walk in while drinking a redbull >a few minutes pass by >he walks out with a 10 metre long toilet paper tucked in his ass >he wiped is ass with the end bit scraping across the white floor >he slowly walked in a circle around all the outer aisles smearing s--- with his new tail >he walkes out of the shop

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anon is confused by weed | /r/Greentext

File: marijuana-or-cannabis-lea(...).jpg (135 KB, 957x1080) Vector Stock ok.com2005 Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:07:22 No.892238394 [Reply]► >>892239905 >>892239945 What the f--- is the point of smoking this s---? >Smoke weed >Immediately get hungry and/or thirsty >Laugh at s--- that isn't even funny >Too lazy to do anything that requires physical effort >Get paranoid for no reason >Have to smoke more after 60-90 mins or you're barely high anymore This has got to be the biggest meme "drug" out there. At least with alcohol you feel good and want to do s---, as long as you don't drink too much. The only upside weed has is there is no such thing as smoking too much, because worst that'll happen is you fall asleep. So I guess if you want something "safe", weed makes sense but that's where it ends. + 1 reply and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:37:40 No.892239554 File: romans-15-32.jpg (68 KB, 688x360) 12 The Sy

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Greentext Stories - Anon Soothes His GF | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 232 KB PNG 01/19/21(Tue) 20:36:54 No.845257423 >girlfriend won't stop crying because she got an abortion >get tired of hearing her s-- >go to clinic and dig out fetus from dumpster >glue googly eyes on it >walk in with it while saying 'mom im home' >she cries even harder Jesus, nothing makes this baby killer happy

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