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: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/22/24(Fri)00:56:49 No.695254250 >character has a gas mask Yup, that's a 10/10 design

Anonymous | 67852442 174.6 KB PNG 5 min. ago ●●● >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew

Anonymous 145 KB PNG >be me 11/23/24(Sat) 08:24:24 No.927754455 >Check up on the reddit normies from time to time >"My 85 year old grandfather can't figure out how to use his oven - LOL PAINT CHIPS" >"A man hit on me at the gym so I s--- myself and barked at him and shaved my eyebrows in self defense" >I've gotten my Harris sign stolen and given death threats 15+ times but there's no video" >" Why are republicans so obsessed with trans?" Trans flag pfp > Every comment that has any kind of criticism has 3,000 qualifying statements so they don't get harassed " I'm a gigantic f----- and sucked 30 d---- in 41 minutes, but I don't think blah blah blah" Are these real f------ people?

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Happens all the time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)10:30:33 No.786774273 > be me > depressed > goes to coffee shop > tries to order espresso > says depresso instead 303 KB PNG how was your day anons

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Anon goes on Reddit, again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.

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Anon laughs at Canada's military | /r/Greentext

Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC

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Wholesome, real, and straight... maybe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it

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Anon has no fingers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon tries to socialize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!

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"Those bastards lied to me" | /r/Greentext

No. 870510680 01/12/22(Wed)06:19:14 EtJsllQXcAAZPrZ.jpg 31 KB 360x310 >come to 4chan to look at funny hilarious characters interact with each other in charming ways >instead see a lot of gore and p--- >try to rationalize seeing a lady get hit by a car while twerking >feel bad about bad things that happen to people >get called a n----- >try to look at normal p--- afterwards but everything looks gross now >hate women slightly now What the f--- was I thinking 8 replies, 4 images No. 870510768 01/12/22(Wed)06:22:36 1638080408380.png 75 KB 296x190 >>870510680 Welcome to the family you f------ n-----.

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Anons retarded friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)21:58:28 No.797021790 Autistic technology stories I'll start >be me 14 at the time >maths teacher let's our class go to the computer 4 KB PNG room >fuckyeah.jpg >download and play runescape on one of the computers >friend sitting next to me starts panicking and looks over at me >his screen got unplugged >howthefuckdidyoudothat.jpg >he tells me to plug it back in for him because he does not know how >and he says do NOT look at the screen >plug it in >mfw it's f------ furry p--- >mfw it's sonic vore This is why I can't be friends with that tardI have countless stories of him and his autism

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Anon thinks about something big and starts feeling good | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804062733 11 min. fa •.• >be me >named David >be depressed for the past 4 years, almost killed myself a couple times >one day while eating with my mother she says that she gave me my name by the David and Goliath story >think about it 203,4 kB JPG >My depression is my Goliath >No matter how weak and insignificant I am I will prevail my Goliath and kill it >Start feeling better about myself Thanks mom.

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Rip............. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me I dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim of a practical joke >l am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street >>10532164 # >>10532217 # >>10532453 # >>10532459

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Anon knows his friend from TOP to BOTTOM | /r/Greentext

AnonymouS No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? 1 reply

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Greentext Stories - Baby Turmoil | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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