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: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)01:15:45 No.62399655 >be in library >have a baby with me >baby goes uh oh stinky poop >foot change the diaper >there's some russian lady, ask her directions for the 63 KB JPG toilets where I can change >responds in broken English, she's also going there >go first >start unwrapping the package >accidentally pull too hard, both legs are now in my hand >baby screams >start sweating, we can fix this >a few moments later the whole baby is disassembled on the changing table and I'm trying to figure out how the brains are supposed to go together like some three dimensional puzzle >f--- this, throw all the baby pieces to the garbage can >walk out, tell the russian lady it's all yours >walk away, hear a woman screaming behind me >wake up Why are all my dreams like this?

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Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon)20:51:30 No.691849739 The easiest way to stop piracy is not by putting antipiracy technology to work. It's by giving those people a service that's better than what they're receiving from the pirates. Gabe Newell piracy.jpg 46 KB JPG AZ QUOTES >solves the service problem >piracy still rampant guess its just people who want free s---

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: ntNeO+CD) Why is the High Street dying? ▼ Settings Mobile Home 10/27/24(Sun)00:31:39 No.486039129 'Amazon tax' to save Britain's high streets under consideration by Reeves The British Retail Consortium, the industry's trade body, welcomed the idea of reform but warned against the idea of simply punishing online players Howard Musto 3 days ago [2] Comments amazon PBGOF ASN OGO136A 522 KB PNG >See news that the traditional British high-street is being killed by the likes of large corporations >Figure that my local area needs some monetary boosting >I also needed new headphones as I have sat on my current pair, and broke them. >Maybe I should pay a visit to the local GAME (GameStop US) as I haven't been there in 10 years. >Get in car >Drive to town centre >All parking is paid and metered >Find a free parking space; too short for my car >Nvrmnd.jpg >Find a free space; Disabled parking space >F--- it. I just park in some multi story car park for 8 GBP >I have to walk from here. >Walk past cinema (Abandoned) >It smells like piss and s---; Can't see any piss and s--- for some reason >Homeless person came up to me asking for f--- >F------.png >Screaming crack head in a bus shelter >Literally nobody in sight is dressed politely >Everyone looks like human trash >Can hear people yelling at each other from across the distance >Saw some f------ walking around with his hand down the front of his pants >I want to f------ curb stomp him. >Urban youf wearing balaclavas >Kebab shops with fake hygiene ratings in the window >Deliveroo riders are all nafaris and jeets, delivering wet food to your door on a bike. >Walk past a Greggs; See hobos robbing the sausage rolls and fleeing like in those videos from California >Walk through the main high street, pretty much the only palatable part of my journey. >Abandoned shops >Phone repair shops that steal your information >Poundland being robbed >B&M being robbed >Luxury cars parked outside of dilapidated bedsits >Urban Range Rover, something you never see in a rich area. >Abandoned department store (Closed since 2009) >JW's preaching their retarded religion where you can't give out gifts (And I thought the Jews were cheap) >Trash everywhere >Chavs walking their shitbulls with spiked collars and chains as a leash >Finally make it to GAME >Its closed >I just got back in my car and drove to Currys. F--- the Highstreet.

Anonymous 10/25/24(Fri)18:26:27 No.692850221 GVV91Mua8AAmtMg.jpg 114 KB JPG >modern gaming f------ su- >wait a minute, i only play games i actually like! Anonymous 54 KB JPG >>692850451 # 10/25/24(Fri)18:27:33 No.692850318 >>692850221 (OP) # >Where you going? This is a perfectly good moment to engage in ragebait!

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Dont put your dick in that | /r/Greentext

< /fit/ salmonella in penis? Anonymous No. 51230182 (8 h) Hi guys, I was cooking last night, making some chicken breasts. I had spilled some soda on my pants, so I was cooking without pants on. I was moving some trays around and I accidentally dropped a chicken breast on the floor. But it hit my penis before it hit the floor. This morning my penis seems like it is inflamed and the peehole hurts if I touch it. Is it possible I got salmonella poisoning? JPG 94.60 KB Anonymous No. 51230183 (8 h) You f----- those chicken breasts didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230188 (8 h) You f----- the raw chicken, didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230192 (8 h) you did

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/21/18(Sat)04:24:59 No.46945190 >Be me >Virgin, 24 years old >Social outcast, no friends >See this thing on the internet >"virgin meetup" >Had nothing better to do with my life so went to the address >Bunch of guys my age, all virgins >Hang around, talk about stuff >They're all pretty cool, stay there late >Look at my watch, I should probably go home >Walk towards the door to leave >They ask if l'm gonna come back another day >Yeah sure >wave goodbye See you later, virgins

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Anon Summarises The Joe Rogan Experience | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a Worthless Degenerate Coomer | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)00:51:24 No.869462310 >>869464316 >be me >be worthless degenerate coomer >come home from waljob >boot up edge.exe >start with some pornpics cuties >mommy femdom toliet sissy.mov >feels the hunger grumbles but not for c-- >order mcpizza >fappng to some nice teeny feet.jpg >get notification from door camera pizz is here >its a super cute foot model >seen her before in p--- im sure >would you like a 20$ tip m'lady merely spit ito my pizza and i shall reward you generously >she drops my pizza and runs >call mcpizza this bitch is getting fired >where sorry sir well handle this right away >mcpizza calls right back >sir you are banned from mcpizza do not order or call here again the police have been contacted >mcdooralarm >its the cops >what do

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First major injury at the age of 26 | /r/Greentext

>Be me >26 yr old dumbass who joined the Army >Wake up one morning around 12 pm with pain in my lower stomach >Vomits.mp4 >Continues on day like nothing is wrong >4 pm and pain is progressively getting 60 KB JPG worse >Decides to unload one out to some pron >Nothing changes so I take a nap to sleep it off >Actually lessened the pain >fuckyea.jpeg >Orders food around 7 pm, pain intensifies by 100 to the point I can't sit still >Goes to emergency room by 10 pm >Covid has the lobby full but they push me immediately through >WhatTheActualFuck >Doctor comes in to check my testicles as he says they are twisted, right testicle torsion >Untwists but pain is still there >Says I needs to go under the knife >EXCUSEME.PNG >Gives me a shot of fentanyl >Does the exact opposite of what it's intended and im shaking uncontrollably in pain. >On a pain of scale of 1-10, it was 25. >Gets put to sleep, wakes up an hour and a half later in a Gauze like diaper. >Gets told my tesicle was removed and was dead for over 6 hours >Was also told I experience the pain level of childbirth as an adult male. There was no explanation as to how or why it happens but it just happens from as young as 5 to as old as 60 >mfw

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Anon’s homemade brew | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:29:38 No.848574479 >be me >go take a s--- >take a s--- and piss >get horny >masturbate >c-- in toilet 23 KB JPG >realize only few liquids left >spit in the toilet >remember feminists exists >shed a tear into the toilet >perfect cocktail >pic related 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:36:23 No.848574782 >>848574702 # There was already blood leaking from my a------ from the massive s--- i took. >>848574886 # : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:37:14 No.848574823 >>848574479 (OP) # > blood > gall > vomit > spinal fluid > lymph

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Anon “doesn’t understand cars” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Anon does not prefer Reddit | /r/Greentext

If there is Hell on the Internet, it's r*ddit If there is Hell on the Intern(...) 12/28/21(Tue)04:48:38 No.353952878 >Haven't been on plebbit for ages >Want to ask a quick question >Super T----- Janny bans me seconds later for breaking one of their 6 gorillion www. rules. 29 KB JPG It's like North Korea there, but run by gay trannies with ADHD. I hate these cucks so much you can't imagine. Why do humans like that exist? 172 Replies / 56 Images View Thread

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Anon is not human | /r/Greentext

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Anon plays soccer | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Anon picks a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)02:49:42 No.161327844 PICK A MOVIE. KEEP ONE ACTOR. THE REST ARE PLAYED BY MUPPETS. muppets.png 256 KB PNG Well? : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)02:50:22 No.161327880 Schindlers list-Ralph Fiennes >>161329353 # >>161329386 # >>161330616 #

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Anon on philosophy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)07:46:27 No.19594528 | FILE DELETED Why were so many philosophers/authors coomers? >Rousseau: Exhibitionist and liked to be dominated by older women >Nietzsche: Mastrubator >Freud: Selfexplainatory >Foucalt: P-------- and BDSM fan >De Sade and Masoch: Depraved enough that conditions were named after them >Joyce: Fart fetishist >Henry Miller: Banned for writing too much about his IRL cooming

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Greentext Stories - Anon changes a baby | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)01:15:45 No.62399655 >be in library >have a baby with me >baby goes uh oh stinky poop >foot change the diaper >there's some russian lady, ask her directions for the 63 KB JPG toilets where I can change >responds in broken English, she's also going there >go first >start unwrapping the package >accidentally pull too hard, both legs are now in my hand >baby screams >start sweating, we can fix this >a few moments later the whole baby is disassembled on the changing table and I'm trying to figure out how the brains are supposed to go together like some three dimensional puzzle >f--- this, throw all the baby pieces to the garbage can >walk out, tell the russian lady it's all yours >walk away, hear a woman screaming behind me >wake up Why are all my dreams like this?

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