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idiot @fartbuttpoop19 crying so hard rn. does it hurt lizards when they lose their tail?? i hope not

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@ 1/2 of all caius ballad fa... @princessxemnas this dude on masterchef looks like dante and it's making me lose it LESLIE • 11:48 AM · Mar 3, 2021 Twitter Web App www

Replying to @MoonPie Your time is wasted managing a social media account Bloon Pic MoonPie @MoonPie Buddy it's saturday night and you're talking to a marshmallow sandwich on the internet C

i'm sorry but america has the best flag. all the others are just worse Philip Proudfoot @PhilipProudfoot The Welsh flag has a dragon on it. Come on now.

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If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die

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Idc how many apps crash bro imma still find a way to procrastinate

el tóxico @trapxjai Idc how many apps crash bro imma still find a way to procrastinate ebraintickle

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idk if i'm fighting demons or if i am the demon

painden @lilpain1k idk if i'm fighting demons or if i am the demon 9:57 PM · Oct 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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I am 20 and haven’t touched alcohol/smoked ever. Didn’t feel it was ever necessary. Pass it on. Let’s make it cool.

cass carti @CassKittie I am 20 and haven't touched alcohol/smoked ever. Didn't feel it was ever necessary. Pass it on. Let’s make it cool.

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floorbound

James @Richard57941301 me: whatup her: nothing...im getting a shower then going to bed me: getting a shower without me her: I invited you over you said society was overwhelming you and you were still floorbound me: cool,cool, well goodnight 4:54 PM · Oct 9, 2021 · Twitter Web App

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Shoutout to everyone who died in Vietnam

meg @mag_pie28 Shoutout to everyone who died in Vietnam 4:11 AM · Oct 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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weekends

first-mate prance ... @bocxtop don't understand ppl who are productive during the weekend, weekends are for feeling weird and wondering if ur friends hate u 11:12 AM · Oct 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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watched an old guy walked past and nod hello

WINNING O bobby @bobby watched an old guy walk past this and nod hello REDIBTR HAMPTAN WATER HAM MAT HAMPT HITER 1., . IHAMPTAN WATER PTAN TER NOBLE VINE: ** HAMPT WATE MPTA ATER Rost so HAMPTEN WATER HAMPTA 90 AWPTANMUTIH

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Restocked

OALAPED DE NCENDO 0 EXPLOSION ESONGELAR merOR NO PERFORE Spooky @Hm_Spooky Restocked OFF Mutrition FLAMMABLE USE MECHAN RE AT USED DO NOT SATO DEFROST PELGRO RESGO DE NCENDIO O EXPLOSION. REFRIGERANTE INFLAABLE NO UTLICE DISPOSITIVOS MECANICOS PARA ATUBERADE Catrition Facts Nutrition MU ALAPERFORAC D0OSAMENTE DE LATURER uON E COONES DE PRIDERANTE FLAMABLE ROOT BE No Ca ROOT BEER MUMUE ROOT BE ROOT BEER CAFFEINE MU ROOT NO CA trition Fa EER EER

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I still think that one of the funniest bits of online discourse i've seen is "weird sex is bourgeois b/c you have to spend money on extra things for it"

jolene o lantern @cervixpiercer I sill think that one of the funniest bits of online discourse i've seen is "weird sex is bourgeois b/c you have to spend money on extra things for it" 4:38 PM · Oct 9, 2021 · Twitter Web App

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My 6yo son is upset that everyone in the house is a girl including our dog so he is demanding that I buy him “a boy dog or a non-binary dog”

Erin, but spooky ... @ErinlnTheMorn My 6yo son is upset that everyone in the house is a girl including our dog so he is demanding that I buy him "a boy dog or a non-binary dog" 8:54 AM · Oct 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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Impossible choice

BRING ME FOUR ANTIDOTES, NOW! THERE'S ONLY THREE LEFT! PULL UP THEIR OLD TWEETS. @uncle_ Saucebags

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Twitter / X - crying

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idiot @fartbuttpoop19 crying so hard rn. does it hurt lizards when they lose their tail?? i hope not

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