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: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)17:22:01 No.64914961 >it's an "anon is approached by the neighborhood sex offender, so he blows the r--- whistle his school gave him, but that just alerts more rapists to his location" episode this was an awful night ringle 225 KB JPG

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Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/22/24(Fri)00:56:49 No.695254250 >character has a gas mask Yup, that's a 10/10 design

Anonymous | 67852442 174.6 KB PNG 5 min. ago ●●● >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew

Anonymous 145 KB PNG >be me 11/23/24(Sat) 08:24:24 No.927754455 >Check up on the reddit normies from time to time >"My 85 year old grandfather can't figure out how to use his oven - LOL PAINT CHIPS" >"A man hit on me at the gym so I s--- myself and barked at him and shaved my eyebrows in self defense" >I've gotten my Harris sign stolen and given death threats 15+ times but there's no video" >" Why are republicans so obsessed with trans?" Trans flag pfp > Every comment that has any kind of criticism has 3,000 qualifying statements so they don't get harassed " I'm a gigantic f----- and sucked 30 d---- in 41 minutes, but I don't think blah blah blah" Are these real f------ people?

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Anon asks simple question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)14:41:15 No.29143854 MONK DIES IN GREECE WITHOUT SEEING WOMAN ATHENS Without ever seeing a - woman in the 82 years of his life. Mihailo Toloto has died in Mt. Athos monastery, in Greece. Neither had he beheld an automobile, a movie or an airplane. His mother died when he was born, Athens reports, and he was brought up in the monastery, where no woman ever enters. He became a monk, and monks at the onastery gave his a special burial ceremony because they believed he was the only man in the world never to see a woman. 1625162447056.jpg 104 KB JPG What was his power level?

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Anon discovers a “cheat” code | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)11:07:05 No.860742625 >be me >33 years old, 5'10" average looking >l am 100% anon, grew up reading /b/ and laughing at coomer stories >was in serious relationship for 4 years >lived together >she eventually starts accusing me of 244 KB PNG cheating on her >found out she was actually cheating on me with a coworker who was also in a relationship >break up with her even though it was extremely hard >depressed for a while, stop cooming or trying to date at all >eventually take the sadness and anger and turn it into massive gainz >+40lbs of muscle, go from 130lb skinny guy to 170lb muscle bro >go to a bar with some friends after getting vaccinated during that month when pandemic restrictions eased up >just trying to socialize, not actually looking to get laid >tell women I talk to that I'm in a relationship so they don't think I'm trying to sleep with them, like I said I just want to chill and socialize >to my surprise they start flirting harder when they hear this >one girl asks "well, your gf isn't home right now is she? Otherwise you wouldn't be here alone" after I turn her down >have 3 women give me their phone numbers, one even puts the number in my phone and uses a mans name saying that way my “gf" won't ever know >realize this is an actually viable way to coom in multiple women >tell my 2 friends about it >the next weekend we all tell women we are taken and "out on a guys night" >the next morning I wake up at my friends apartment, there's a girl next to me on the couch >some girl making cereal, another girl grabbing her jacket to leave >girl on the couch with me says “call me next time your gf is out of town" W-- did I discover? Why a women like this?

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The ass is always greener | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)11:34:33 No.64915665 >totally straight man gets manlet genetics and no body hair at all, birthing hips despite being a male >me, an actual gay bottom, gets masculine genetics that make me hairy as s--- and no ass at all and also super tall Why is God so f------ unfair? It's all so tiresome. 271 KB PNG Goddamit, if only body swapping existed, I would give my body to my manlet bros any day. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)11:36:21 No.64915684 >>64915665 (OP)_# I'll pass bro, I'd rather be a hairless manlet then s--- myself every time I fart. 208 KB JPG

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Anon has a master plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)08:49:51 No.64913962 >Parents are on vacation >Gave me $250 for 2 weeks >Planning on spending $1/day on ravioli cans >Saving the rest for videogames and action figures Can I make it? 37 KB JPG 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon has issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/20(Mon)18:49:02 No.59935018 >friendzoned by girl >calls me and demands i come visit her if i try to ghost her >says if i ever leave her she'll track me down >gets mad and jealous whenever i talk about other girls 21 KB JPG >talks about buying a big house and living with me >doesn't want to have sex the f--- is this?

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Anon is reads between the lines | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:59:58 No.152340406 "Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?" 42 KB JPG

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Anon starts speaking polish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG

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Anon does business | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5LNU3RNK ) 06/22/19(Sat)10:34:49 No.217104587 >>217101455 (OP) # >neighbor puts house up for sale >grow out grass and throw trash on the lawn >buy a s----- car, leave it on blocks in the driveway 81 KB JPG >buy neighbor's house for a steal >cut grass, clean up trash, scrap car >sell neighbor's house >mfw 40% profit

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why_alachol_is_bad_Anon_2003-05-02.pptx | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon experiences typical day in healthcare | /r/Greentext

>Be male 26y RN >Sort of Dudebroish. >Been working at a Pediatric hospital(l actually really don't like kids) >Doing an administration of new kid >T1 Diabetic. >Sexual trauma, with really bad burns on his right arm >Both parents lost custody and are in jail >CPS is getting him checked out before putting him in the system >Been through the same thing so I know he'|l be in a state facility for quite some time >Feelbadbutwhatevernotme.jpg >Figure he'll be here a week before they ship him to a orphanage. >Fastforward >Doing his Pre dinner injection/regular assessments >Kid looks a lot like me when I was a kid >Tried to turn on the TV and talk to him, but he won't say anything to me >Give him his light and right as I go to leave he begs me to stay >Caught up with work at the moment, and it is in my Job description. Figure he'll just cry and tell me what happened to him. >Actually end up talking about his interests >He played Civ 4 and liked it, was a really big fan of Kirby games, however his favorite game so far was demon souls when he played it at his friends house >holyshitthiskidiscool.jpg >Literally spent an hour talking to him, getting behind on my rounds at the same time. >Do double shifts as much as possible just to hang out with him >Friends wondering why I'm working so hard, they don't understand that I'm actually excited to go to work for once >Kid is piratically my little brother at this point >Considering applying to be his foster father, talked to the state/my job about it. >Literally no push back from the state, just have to show I have a stable housing and good income(esypsy) >Job upset, however they understand and tell me I can't be his nurse due to conflict of interest, and I have to be on leave till he's discharged. >He's getting discharged in 2 days w/e. >cont'd : Anonymous 03/18/16(Fri)12:25:37 No.674590932 >>674589230 # >Gonna surprise him tomorrow the day before he gets discharged >look up cool room designs for him, really excited 338 KB JPG >Notice new nurse working the hall >Tell her all about his favorite foods and how too approach him/talk to him >Brushes me off and tells me I need to go. >Tell her to just be mindful. >Feel like I can be the father I never had >I know it's gonna be rough but I love this kid enough to give up my life for him >Fastforward to the morning >Was too excited to sleep >Notice Police cars by where I walk in >Notuncommon >DoN is talking to officers >Her face goes pure white as soon as she sees me >Look at her strangely as I walk to kidsbros room >Not there >Look for him in the activity room >Not there >DoN stopped talking to officers at this point, still staring >Walk up and ask her where kid bro is >She can't look me in the face >Panicing at this point >"Where is he?."Voice noticeably raised. >All she can mutter is "I'm sorry..." >Heart drops >Literally starting running back and forth down the halls looking for him >Another nurse had to tell me what happened because the DoN was too afraid >Kidbro died because the new nurse doubled his insulin injections. TWICE >Walk into his room and sit on his bed crying >Never knew I was this emotional >Quit my job the next day Bye Shawn, I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you...You made me realize how badly I wanted to be the father you should of had, that I should of had.

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate BER EEE EEEEEEEEE 172 KB PNG donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?

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Anon finds evidence of Nazi atrocities | /r/Greentext

Daniella Hill @Daniella_Hill Nazis killed my great- grandmas friend in Belgium by putting him in a giant freezer, he fell out and broke into pieces infront of her... 2:11 PM · 8/17/12 · Twitter Web Client 1566280174666.jpg 62 KB JPG >the holocaust was fa- : Anonymous (ID: P85Z×RYU 08/20/19(Tue)05:41:40 No.223748152 >223746792 (OP) # nazis drew a tunel on a wall and my grandpa ran in to it and died 15 KB JPG >>223748236 # >>223748504 # >>223749077 # >>223749200 # >>223749945 # >>223750793 # >>223750928 # >>223751221 # >>223751485 # >>223752175 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon’s friday night | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)17:22:01 No.64914961 >it's an "anon is approached by the neighborhood sex offender, so he blows the r--- whistle his school gave him, but that just alerts more rapists to his location" episode this was an awful night ringle 225 KB JPG

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