• >Put in your will that you want to be buried as close as possible to Thick, muscly tomboy.
• >Die.
• >Her family gets a restraining order against your corpse approved.
• >They exhume your cadaver, cremate it and scatter the ashes into the landfill.
• >At least you weren't alive to witness it.
• >Meanwhile, in the afterlife, God is weighing your soul.
• >You've been deemed unfit to enter Heaven.
• >God banishes you to Hell.
• >First person you see in Hell is Stephen Hawking.
• >He calls you a faggot.
• >Next person you see in Hell is Prince.
• >You ask him "Did the elevator get you down?"
• >He breaks your nose and calls you a faggot.
• >Next person you see is the Muscly Tomboy you wanted to be buried next to.
• >Ask what she did to get banished to Hell.
• >She turns out to have been an inexcusably horrible person.
• >You're no longer into her at all.
• >With your face wrinkled in disgust you say:
• >"Ughhhh! Now I wish I wasn't buried next to you!"

What the fuck did I read?