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: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)09:16:28 No.845638579 >can't s--- for days >finally go to doctor >tell him i've tried everything >well anon, have you tried this?' >he buttfucks me >go to bathroom >can s--- again >leave doctor office a sore but happy man 264 KB PNG This doctor is a miracle man!!!

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon plays Minecraft with his friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21 (Sun)12:32:59 No.62002177 >planned on overdosing on meds today >my friend randomly dm's me on insta asking if I'm okay >we talk about life for a bit >he invites me to his minecraft 22 KB JPG server and discord >we call and play for a bit >feel a bit more valued and loved >don't want to kill myself today anymore t's the little things anons, ask a friend how they're doing. some of us really need it.

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Anon walks a dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)18:53:19 No.845566907 >be me >14M living in Small city in Scotland >average 6/10 but friends like to exaggerate >walking dog late on Friday night > a group of girls who are in my 716 KB JPG year stumble by >drunk obviously >try to clap dog >dog lets them >they don't recognise me >start asking me my name where I'm from etc etc >make up lies whatever let's me get back home earlier to watch AOT S4 >Come up with Chad name and Chad backstory >they seem interested or some do >one girl asks for my Snapchat >I said I don't use it (lie) >she's fine with it >wishes me a good night >wake up next day >realise I am a f------ idiot >put M1Garand in my mouth >too much of a p---- to pull trigger >at some speech later on that night >small kid comes up to me and tells me I have an old friend >"Hey Reiner, It's been four years." >oh god oh f---

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Anon is a goddam king | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)16:08:20 No.62004095 >download tinder years ago >don't really use it. When I did use it I swiped right on just about everyone, so I randomly get matches a few times a week from girls I swiped right on ages ago >Cute girl messages me >only lives 1 mile away 25 KB PNG >we talk for a bit >she is really friendly and says she wants to hang out tonight >she mentions how I'm playing guitar in one of my pictures >says some cheesy line "well maybe we could play tonight :)" >send her my address >she comes over >l start playing guitar >at first she's really happy and enjoying it, then after 20 minutes of me playing she leans back onto the bed and puts her leg over me >she's wearing a short skirt, I can see her underwear >w-- >starts rubbing my chest and pushing her face into my neck >I keep playing guitar >she rubs my thigh right next to my d--- >politely brush her hand aside and keep playing guitar >she says "what's wrong? I don't get you." >tell her I just want to literally play, not do anything sexual >"why not?" >point to picture of Jesus I have on my wall >she laughs snidely >realizes I'm not joking around >she actually gets up, puts on her shoes, and leaves without saying anything apparently she wasn't 1 mile away, she was in a city that's 45 minutes away when she messaged me. She drove nearly an hour to see me. Not sure why she got mad. I never flirted back with her, was very passive, and I told her l'm Christian. to be honest it is actually pretty funny and I think l'll keep tinder on my phone just because I feel like I did a good thing. 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)16:09:48 No.62004107 >>62004095 (OP) # King s--- you passed the test imgflip.com

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Anon is the victim of a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me dropped my gay card >I look down for it and 71 KB JPG realise I've been the victim of a practical joke >l am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street >>10532164 # >>10532217 # >>10532453 # >>10532459 #3

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Anon goes to Japan | /r/Greentext

No.775068392 9 minutes ago Superthumb.jpg JPG 29.1 KIB 300x250 > Be me, 25 years old Italian guy. Living in the UK for the last 6 years. >I have been working in the same hotel for 4 years already. Its a really large hotel with over 300 workers. >Really hot girl in room service. Try to speak to her whenever I have chance. She's Polish. Really hot. 3.1416. >It's getting hard to get her attention so I've got nervous and tell her I have the cancer. It's a lie. >Only have 5 moths left to live. >Don't tell anybody I'm too shy. >l got her attention. All good. >next week I found out she told everybody and they made a fund to pay me a holiday in Japan. I told her my dream would be to live in Japan. >They got over £3000. They paid me a whole month in Japan. Starts next week. >l don't know what to do. >340 people are expecting me to die in less than 5 months. 8 replies

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Grandpa watching anime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)15:55:31 No.61536939 >be me, family over for Christmas Eve >grandpa comes over too, he's sort of a nerd and loves older comic books 30 KB JPG >go to my room because I want to be alone >start watching Attack on Titan and hear a knock at the door >"hey anon, whatcha up to?", it's my grandpa >decide he's nerd enough that he would get anime >start showing him attack on titan and explaining lore and showing off figures i have >he looks super interested and smiles a lot and eventually leaves >mfw later overhear him asking my mom if i have any learning disabilities

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Anon has heterosexual sex | /r/Greentext

5 Re 1 Img JPG 81KB (550 x 550) 3 Replies >be me >permavirgin >only matches on tinder are bots >change settings to look for dudes just to see the competition >didn't know this dudes we also looking for dudes so I accidentally got on the gay section >get 15 potential matches in a 10 minute span >decide to pay for tinder plus just to see the kind of guys i could date if i were gay >talk to some of them and we really get along >idea.jpg >invite the most feminine looking to my house to watch a movie >make a twitter and change my pronouns to she/her to become a female >dude comes home and I completely violently annihilate his anus >dude leaves and block him from everything >go to twitter and change my pronouns back to he/him >tfw when lost my virginity and had heterosexual sex

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anon accelerates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)23:46:07 No.845578267 REMEMBER. >I spend hours every day on Omegle chat rooms sending horny grown men to the instagrams and Snapchat's belonging to w----- from my high school or whoever I AGGRAVATION IS ACCELERATION! feel like 161 KB JPG What do you do to accelerate?

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Anon mets his neighbour | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:22:47 No.845552572 [Reply] >>845552656 >>845552722 >Be me >On my way home from work >Enter front door, push elevator button >See neighbour enter through the front door >Instead of holding it for him I press my floor's button and go up >MFW I know he has to wait for me to go up and the elevator to go back down How was your day, /bl? Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:24:27 No.845552656 >>845552572 (OP) >haha i slightly inconvenienced someone xD Is this what your life is OP? How pathetic.

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Anons dog shits Condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:55:42 No.845594888 >J------- in a condom INCREDIBLE >whatever feels different than normal >throw it away once I finish >put it at the bottom of the trash so ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL no one sees 243 KB JPG >next day >come home from work and trash is all over my room floor >oh f--- >my dog mustť've gone through the trash >frantically pick up trash >condom is no where to be found Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:57:41 No.845595026 >>845594888 (OP) # If it did, it will be s------- it out soon. How do you explain to your mom that a condom is coming out of the dog's ass?

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Anon must continue his bloodline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, thought she was bi tho 14 KB PNG >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread

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anons uncle went to school with biden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CM+RPH C) E 01/24/21(Sun)01:18:45 No.304755735 America is done Tast hope of the west numales voter fraud IMSM WW3 women smeal CTR MAnA AKE AMERKA GREAT AGAIN stal we're f----- (((democracy)) cuckservatives secede revolution Tm moving to based poland Texit when? MAKR Gn Soros rigged voting machines biden.jpg 107 KB JPG >uncle went to elementary school with Joe Biden >everyday Biden refused to trade his snack pack with my uncle at lunch You guys elected the literal devil as president. Hope you can live with that. 石口口

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Greentext Stories - anon goes to the doctor | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)09:16:28 No.845638579 >can't s--- for days >finally go to doctor >tell him i've tried everything >well anon, have you tried this?' >he buttfucks me >go to bathroom >can s--- again >leave doctor office a sore but happy man 264 KB PNG This doctor is a miracle man!!!

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