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4chan - WW2 Leaders and their Wackiness Quotient - Allies and additional Axis Version

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Name Adolf Hitler Hermann Göring Heinrich Himmler Joseph Goebbels Reinhard Heydrich Joachim von Ribbentrop Albert Speer Martin Bormann Rudolph Hess Karl Dönitz Blondi Portrait Role Fuhrer Commander of the Luftwaffe Commander of the SS Minister of Propaganda Director of the Gestapo Minister of Foreign Affairs Minister of Architecture Hitler's Chief of Staff Commander of the Navy Hitler's Dog 1. Gift to Hitler from Martin Deputy Fuhrer Notable Incidents 1. WWI Ace fighter pilot who 1. Owned a secret wizard 1. Got the job because he'd 1. Specialized in submarine warfare; probably did the 1. Said he wanted to retire 1. Murdered his six children 1. Believed a secret cabal of 1. Engaged in mass slave labor 1. Hated his brother so much 1. Stole a plane so he could after the war and focus on his served with the Red Baron, castle because he didn't want them read a British book about spies noblemen ruled Britain and knew some of the lingo of Jews because he wanted to that when he was told by negotiate an end to the war Bormann |2. King of England tried to major hero who joined the Nazis early on painting 2. Tried to restore the Knights to live in a non-Nazi world build cool-looking buildings Hitler to deliver a letter to with Britain by speaking to an most damage to the Allies of 2. Stayed with Hitler even in 2. Terrified of cats of the Round Table (Göring and Himmler didn't; 2. Earned the names "God of shake his hand; he thought he 2. Convinced Nuremburg him, he found another random unimportant Scottish noble any single German officer the Fuhrerbunker 3. Built a crypt to house rings their kids were released by the Allies unharmed) 3. Had 15 young women taste 2. Developed morphine Death" and "Man with an was doing a Nazi salute; did judges to kill his subordinates guy and told him to do it he'd never met but had heard 2. Escaped execution for his 3. Hated by Eva Braun 4. Hitler's love for German |his food for poison before eating addiction after being shot in of dead SS officers to bind Iron Heart" one in return but accidentally for carrying out his plans while 2. Once had to meet Hitler in about from a guy who'd met crimes because the British were also guilty of most of Shepards made them popular them and realized it would be in Germany during WWII the leg; ballooned in weight them to eternal SS service 2. Created a military unit of 3. Died when he took an smacked the king in the face; sparing him because he the presence of his brother; him one time years before; 4. Declared a random tribe and was nearly always high as 4. Tried to escape the children, amputees, and old open-roof car onto an tried to make it look like his opposed the plans he himself they stood side-by-side so they did not consult Hitler before of Native Americans he'd a result British by calling himself men; couldn't even get them unsecured road and assassins own fault had ordered could face Hitler without |doing this super awkward to prosecute 5. Mother of five puppies never met to be honorary 3. Covered up his brother's "Heinrich Hitzinger" enough guns came for him; instead of just 3. Demanded all British 3. After release from prison, having to look at each other 2. During his trial, claimed to him 6. Hitler was given cyanide crime of helping Jews escape 5. Instituted a breeding program between Norweigian women and Aryans; refused to do so for 3. Was 5'5"/165cm driving away, pulled a gun | diplomats do the Nazi salute wrote several books about 3. Slavishly loyal to Hitler how he was "the good Nazi" 4. Hated by everyone; suffer from amnesia to avoid 3. Got appointed as President capsules by Himmler; later Italians because it would make him 4. Doctorate in Philosophy and ordered the car to stop so (overruled by Hitler) answering questions; finally admitted he was lying of Germany after Hitler's came to view Himmler as a 5. Claimed to be literally |he could personally shoot at 4. Tried to get the USSR to join the Axis without asking look bad; this only made it 5. Wife's stepfather was tolerated only because he death solely because he was traitor but couldn't get more possessed by a mystical easier for the brother to keep handsome Germans Jewish; she made no attempt them, thus giving them 3. Hanged himself in prison the most important person left who was definitely not was genuinely a fantastic poison, so he tested one on his A---- spirit to Mussolini; Mussolini felt "completely |disoriented" and didn't know so he could focus on collecting he had a German ancestor in 1987 at the age of 93 5. Body found on the side of a 4. Expert astrologer helping Jews escape 6. Tried to save a Jew who to save him, he died in a camp another chance to kill him Hitler first officer worker dog; became inconsolable 4. Delegated work to others "looked A----" if he'd say 6. Göring believed his wife 4. Hitler personally blamed 5. Tried to negotiate for the involved in any attempts at when it worked assassinating Hitler 4. Only major action as was cheating on him with him for his own death, then return of German's African road, then disappeared; no 5. Practicing psychic 7. After Hitler's suicide, his if he was joking or not fancy art and designing new or parent; Jew refused Hitler; evidence for this is ordered attacks on the colonies without consulting one knows how he died, only animal handler took her 6. Convinced he was saved by uniforms that had nothing to 7. Believed he was the sketchy at best assassins' villages, murdering Hitler; after Hitler told him to 1300 innocent people; when and where president was to stall the puppies and shot them so the .Convinced Hitler that if Russians as long as possible to Soviets couldn't capture them let soldiers escape west and surrender to Americans do with his job stop, he continued to agitate for them without asking for destiny when Operation reincarnation of an ancient 7. Was once insulted by 8. Hitler loved German 5. Only major Nazi who didn't German king and Hindu god Göring, who said someone mind jokes at his expense; Valkyrie failed to kill him Churchill wanted to bomb Göring asked who leads 7. Got blackmailed by his Germany after he kills himself, he must be planning a power grab, so Hitler arrested Göring 8. Employed a child molester with his face shouldn't talk German civilians in retaliation them back, confusing the Shepards because he owned newphew William Hitler, who loved hearing fat jokes as his chief wizard advisor about the glory of the Ayran and had to be talked down British and French instead one between wars, had to |later left Germany and joined 6. Owned multiple pet lions 9. Allowed a gay Jewish SS гace 6. Got an elderly woman to sell it because of money, and officer because he could help 8. Huge inferiority complex to Hitler according to everyone; the US Navy 7. After the Luftwaffe was adopt him in his 30s so he it escaped its new owner and |8. Had a favorite alligator at destroyed, spent the last year find the Holy Grail |could add a "von" to his name; came back to him the zoo; alligator was taken of the war throwing crazy 10. Was a professional chicken considered to be Hitler's most later complained when Göring 9. Extremely good girl and is still alive in Moscow drug parties because he had farmer between wars loyal servant wouldn't use the von, so | 10. Watched Charlie Chaplin's nothing else to do 11. Joined a dueling club with 9. Took 5000 active duty Göring tried to smack him anti-Nazi movie at least twice 8. Put in charge of a 4-year a Jewish president soldiers out of combat to with a baton but couldn't 11. Sent a guy to the Eastern economic plan despite having make a propaganda movie reach because he was too fat Front for joking that swatting zero background in business 1945 flies is a job for the Luftwaffe Wackiness Quotient 90% 90% 140% 90% 60% 80% 20% 50% 80% 0% 20% Victor Emmanuel Hideki Tojo Plaek Phibunsongkhram Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim Boris III Vidkun Quisling Philippe Pétain Emperor Puyi Name Benito Mussolini Hirohito Wang Jinwei Portrait |King of Italy 1. 5'0"/153cm Role Prime Minister of Italy Emperor of Japan Prime Minister of Japan Prime Minister of Thailand President of Finland King of Bulgaria Puppet Leader of Norway Puppet Leader of Vichy France Puppet Leader of China Puppet Emperor of Manchuria Notable Incidents 1. Parents disagreed about 1. Legitimate scientist in 1. Agreed by everyone to be 1. Extreme Thai nationalist 1. Separated from his first 1. Father got himself 1. Felt Norway should join 1. Retired before WWI, called 1. Master calligrapher, poet, 1. Loved England; tried to wwI, was vague about whose out of retirement to fight marine biology; built a laboratory in the Imperial baptism; compromised by not 2. Given following advice by the most humorless man in despite being half-Chinese wife in 1902, took until 1919 excommunicated from the and writer renounce royalty and move to baptizing him, but instead his father: "To be a king, all Japan, had no hobbies except 2. First name means "strange" to bother divorcing her Catholic Church side 2. Great friends with Charles 2. Tried to assassinate the London so he could go to Oxford sending him to a school run by you need to know is how to in English; given it because he 2. Was involved in an aborted 2. Godson of Tsar Nicholas I| 2. Joined communist party, de Gualle Palace and published several bringing paperwork home real scientific papers last crown prince of China University and call himself Henry monks; got expelled when he sign your name, read a with him looked bizarre as a child Russian plan to invade China 3. Had his marriage legally then fascist party 3. Completely opposed to 3. Became incredibly popular after the English king stabbed another student newspaper, and mount a 2. First Japanese prince to 2. "I am just an ordinary man 3. Loved Mussolini and tried pre-WWI registered by Mussolini 3. Went to communist Russia basically every action France as a revolutionary hero right 2. Brought to the empress on 2. Wrote a romance novel horse" leave Japan and visit Europe; with no shining talents" to fashion all of his ideas and 3. Got a surprise birthday visit 4. Agreed to join the Axis, but as a military attache, bought took between wars, felt they up until he allied with japan her deathbed as a child, but was 3. Short career as a teacher 3. Only major leader during immediately played golf and 3. Kept trying to resign after style based on him would weaken it if Germany by Hitler when he turned 75 refused to declare war on the lots of cheap art from 4. Refused to be president 4. Angry at the West's so annoying that she had him invaded again 4. After Germany invaded, 4. Got kicked out of Italian both WWI and WWI |bet on horse races (royalty he realized the war was lost; 4. Loved Thai traditions but Soviet Union; still declared |desperate people, sold it in exploitation of Chinese removed so she could die in Socialist Party; invented 4. Had opportunity to just end was forbidden from directly Hirohito kept forcing him to wanted Thailand to look due to age and bad health; "symbolic war" on Britain Norway resources, so he helped Japan peace fascism as a response fascism right away; appointed handling money, so he told his stay until important generals civilized to the West; forced was forced to take job by 5. Spent entire war trying to 4. Nazis invaded Norway and French government dissolved kick them out and do the 3. Because of his position, he 5. Said the USA, Britain, and Mussolini prime minster aides to do it) wanted him removed everyone to wear Western government against his will avoid sending Jews to Hitler told king to appoint Quisling itself and appointed him as same thing didn't know how to blow on soup France were doomed because anyway because it meant 3. Almost didn't marry his wife 4. Blamed Theodore clothing and eat with forks 5. Knew that Hitler hated by using increasingly insane as prime minister, king said leader because he was the 5. Name now means "traitor" to cool it, flush toilets, turn off of low birth rates, and that communists couldn't seize because she had a color-blind Roosevelt for not letting Japan instead of their hands (as was smoking, so he lit a cigar right ideas, including sending them he'd rather abdicate most important person left in in the same way as Quisling faucets, or open doors until he the USA would be overtaken control relative annex all of Siberia after the tradition) in front of him to Palestine via Switzerland 5. Nazis didn't even want him, France; took office at 84 or Benedict Arnold was an adult 5. Had power to remove 4. Ate fried egg, sausage, 5. Favorite book was named 6. Died of heart failure in 6. Despite many assassination 4. Was so fascinated by the government who would after war; died at 95 years old attempts on him, he died of telephones that he called by high birth rate blacks Russo-Japanese War; hated 6. Ordered Finnish Jews to but he was the only person in 5. Sentenced to life in prison 1943, possibly poisoned 7. Taught the Dali Lama how 6. Full name: Boris Klemens 6. Had no formal position; just Mussolini at any point; waited bacon, grilled tomato, and Americans afterward "Jews of the East," which was fight alongside Nazis marched to Rome and told the until Americans reached Italy English tea for breakfast 5. Slapped people in the face about the Chinese minority work with them 6. Tried to use his position as complications from a different random numbers constantly to to fire a gun Robert Maria Pius Ludwig talk to unknown people king to appoint him as Prime because he was afraid people every day Minister; king obeyed while giving them orders living in Thailand 6. Norway abolished capital leader of France to make assassination attempt from before the war with Japan; wouldn't listen to him 5. Was not taught anything 5. Built golf course in palace because he thought it helped 6. Due to the way time zones work, was invaded by Japan Stanislaus Xavier punishment in 1905; executed people go outdoors and hike 7. Did not hate Jews at all, 6. Declared Italy would join 6. Ordered civilians of Saipan train people not descended him anyway more often furious with not being able to about sex before his wedding; considered Italian Jews to just the Allies during WWI to commit suicide if the island from samurai both before and after the try him as a traitor, China tried his wife for treason had no idea what to do when he be normal Italians without telling any generals; was captured by Americans 6. Planned to annex Australia, Jattack on Pearl Harbor was alone with his new wife; 8. Called the master race idea thousands of Italians were because he disliked the idea New Guinea, India, Pakistan, 7. Only Axis leader allowed to instead just left the room and left her in "nonsense, stupid, and idiotic" left in German-controlled 9. Was arrested and of white people capturing Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, New regain power after WWII; the bed with a concubine territory to die 7. Abdicated throne after Japanese civilians Zealand, Alaska, Hawaii, Americans liked that he hated 6. Became horribly cruel after imprisoned in a ski resort 7. Tried to convert Japan to British Colombia, Yukon, communism he realized he was a Japanese | 10. Extremely scared that people in the future would wWIl to convince people not Christianity after defeat |to vote the Italian Monarchy because he thought the |Washington state, Ecuador, puppet and all his subjects hated all of Central America except him; after losing power, realized think Hitler invented fascism out of existence; failed Americans would go easier on Mexico, Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti, how awful he'd been and almost instead of him fellow Christians; MacArthur all Southeast Asia, and Macau killed himself over it forced him not to 7. Loved acting in plays 8. Last emperor of China Wackiness Quotient 60% 40% 50% 60% 60% 20% 20% 40% 10% 20% 90% Name Neville Chamberlain Winston Churchill Franklin Delano Roosevelt Harry S. Truman Joseph Stalin Charles de Gualle Chiang Kai-shek Mao Zedong Josip Broz Tito William Lyon Mackenzie King Haakon VII Portrait Role Notable Incidents Prime Minister of the UK Prime Minister of the UK President of the United States President of the United States General Secretary of the USSR Leader of Free France Chairman of Nationalist Party Chairman of Communist Party Leader of Yugoslav Partisans Prime Minister of Canada King of Norway 1. Died of butt cancer 1. S. in name does not stand 1. Hated his own son so much 1. Wanted to show how Paris 1. At 3 years old, swallowed a 1. Married against his will in 1. Had so many siblings die in 1. Considered to be humorless 1. After Germany invaded, | 1. Actually half-American 2. Was terrible at every 1. Had all pictures taken while at a desk, table, etc, to for anything; period is literally that when the Nazis caught him and tried to have a |was retaken by the French, so pair of chopsticks to see if he an arranged marriage; ran could; doctor had to remove away to escape it, thereby infancy that no one is sure and have no charisma was told to go to the cabinet he arranged a parade, but couldn't find enough French subject in school except avoid being known as the part of it (Harry S. Truman) which number child he is 2. Kept his beliefs in occultism and appointed Quisling as ruining his new wife, who died 2. Failed second grade; was in shame and ruin English; once given a Latin wheelchair president, but his 2. Worked as a haberdasher, prisoner exchange, Stalin them secret; communicated with prime minister; went to refused; when son was killed soldiers, so he got Quebecois 2. Spent two years in the in French uniforms; still not test and wrote only his own disability was publically known railway timekeeper, clerk, terrible at spelling throughout dead spirits constnatly, cabinet and instead told them even at the time mail sorter, and Shabbos Goy by a Nazi by accident, came Japanese Army enough, so he got Louisianans; 3. Got kidnapped by his own concubine 2. At 68, found a 14 year-old entire life especially his mother f--- Nazis name 3. F------ hated Gandhi, to hate him slightly less because he'd managed to die still not enough, so he got in a way that was technically light-skinned Algerians and 2. Cousin of Theodore (non-Jew who does tasks for 3. Was going to move to USA; 3. Didn't want to enter WWII; 2. Took refuge in a small town couldn't get money for boat tried to make the government Roosevelt, who told him that observant Jews during generals when he refused to 3. Dropped out of school at agreed to only if Britain itself to escape Nazis, Nazis simply let him die of a hunger strike he wanted him to never 4. Extremely clumsy; nearly Shabbat); became a judge without a law degree; later make peace with communists the age of 13 4. Went to a soccer game; was attacked, then had to |blew up the entire town; 4. Refused to bathe or brush players kept stopping the become president 3. Born into obscene wealth applied for a law license while 2. Lenin wrote a letter to the 2. Personally hated by heroic put them in the back while Japan invaded; finally actually make good on that Haakon survived and watched drowned in a lake, fell off a agreed and was released teeth game to argue with the ref; 4. Met Hitler in 1937; believed it burn to the ground | Tito got angry at them for nothing to avoid spreading it wasting time, so he stole the evil, but that good would ref's whistle, appointed government that said to not Churchill and FDR for being bridge, fell several times from 4. Constantly cheated on his president so he'd have horses, fell over while getting wife 4. Changed his name an 5. Had at least one STD; did he was gripped by good and 3. Needed somewhere to go, something to do after leaving give power to Stalin; Stalin 3. Eyesight too poor to join incredibly irritating and most unknown number of times; but Sweden announced in | off of a ship, crashed a plane, 5. Intentionally overlooked stole the letter, led Lenin's other French leaders for only stopped because he got to his concubines triumph, and he would lead advance that it wouldn't take hit by a car British spies in the USA whose wWI; got in by stealing an funeral procession, and talked championing himself as the too famous with his current 6. Tried to send 15 million himself as the new ref, and Germany to a bright future him; spent the entire rest of | 5. Extremely skilled landscape job was to blackmail anti-war eye chart and memorizing it about how great he was sole savior of France Chinese women to the USA dared the players to argue and be remembered as |his life personally hating all of one painter, complimented by senators because he also 4. Got to be Vice President 3. Once asked by his mother 3. Promoted to general just 5. Married two women at 7. Got angry at Stalin once; with his decisions another "Joan of Arc;" still Sweden Pablo Picasso wanted to join the war only because Democrats |what he did, said he's "like the before France fell to Germany once; one died to Japanese, responded by holding a 5. After capturing the fifth upset at Hitler's racism 6. Forced Britain to invent an predicted FDR would die in tsar," mother complained that 4. Wrote several books after he divorced the other when meeting with Khrushchev in a assassin sent by Stalin, sent a against Jews, though swimming pool because he 4. Ordered records of his own warfare was useless and fast wouldn't marry him unless he didn't know how to swim he should have been a priest wWI about how trench oxygen mask that lets you smoke a cigar because he letter that said "stop or l'll send an assassin of my own, office and they hated his he met a woman who 5. Kept a shrine to his dead existing VP mother in his home 8. Claimed to swim a mile in da crystal ball 7. Saw signs of the future in wanted to smoke nonstop 5. Met FDR only twice; almost birthday to be changed armor divisons were the got a divorce and it won't take five tries" 6. Kept and while flying 7. When wife tried to make never informed of what was 5. Hired a guy to inseminate future; ignored by France, but 6. Specified that he wanted to 8 minutes (world record: 20) 6. Avoided anti-communist going on with the war female chimps with human Germans stole his ideas and be buried in China despite not 9. During WWII, refused to guards by borrowing a baby not just his tea leaves, but | use toilets, insisted on pooping and letting it poop in his lap body is now on "temporary" outside; finally persuaded to so they wouldn't bother him him go on a diet, he tampered 6. Only told about the atom sperm in an attempt to build used them in the Blitzkrieg being able to leave Taiwan; also his shaving cream bomb after becoming 8. Numerologist 9. Wrote in a journal every with the scale to show him as mutant soldiers 5. Absolutely f------ loved 6. Was once kidnapped by his dogs, boasted of how he loved display in a museum in Taiwan stop post-war lighter than he really was 8. Wrote an alt history novel about the Confederacy president 7. On deathbed, said only father and forced to work in them more than humans since 1975 10. Suffered from bowel day from 1893 to 1950 7. American generals 6. Captured by Germans in 7. Tried to have John Wayne wWI; escaped POw camp so nicknamed him "Cash my regret was creating the CIA a shoe factory problems; wife had to learn winning the Civil War 9. Tried to convince the USA how to stick her fingers into assassinated many times he was moved to Check" his ass to solve them to invade Russia after an ultrasecure prison defeating Germany Wackiness Quotient 10% 50% 20% 30% 80% 20% 30% 90% 60% 80% 10%

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wisehowl_the_2nd

wisehowl_the_2nd

May 09, 2020 at 02:31PM EDT

Churchill should probably get a few more. Man commissioned 2 ships to be made out of icebergs and was close friends with Orson Welles.

+25

B2oo2

B2oo2

May 09, 2020 at 10:16PM EDT

"The CIA is a mistake."
– Harry S. Truman

+16

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