@burning_phoneix:
Well Braeburn, here is my breakdown of this situation.
"A severely drunk single mother." Two things: One, she's drunk; that makes your job easier. Two, single mother. Proof that she puts out. (Yes, I have no class.)
"His cousin." What part of the country are you in? (No morals either.)
"A lesbian." She might be bi. (No boundaries also.)
…
Just another entertaining night at The Salt Block!

Berry: [after beating Pinkie at a drinking contest] I've got to get back to rehab.
Braeburn: SHE'S IN REHAB.
[ponies cheer]
…
(I better not be the only Arrested Development fan around here!)