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Odie
Odie

in reply to PeabodySam

"Go to the teacher". And when that happens right in front of the teacher? I thought this was the core issue brought by the panel. I fought back once and the teacher said "good." ONCE.

The other times? Standard doctrine applied, this being "Bully gets detention/suspension because duh, victims get suspension to calm down and think about it a little." Guess where it ended since I was too terrified of getting a suspension, being that eager nerdy always-highest-grades do-gooder guy.

No wonder I came back to that school, now as a grown-up and holding a degree (and with the fame of being one of the few students who did full time in that trashy school and still scored a chair in a prestigious university), and… well, most of my old teachers were still there, and I gently provided them some much needed feedback both on their teaching methods and their life advice.

+94
PeabodySam
PeabodySam

I agree fully that bullies, not victims, should be at fault. That being said, speaking from personal experience, I know exactly why this happens.

About 90% of the time, when the teacher checks on a pair of students who appear to be fighting (grabbing backpacks, wrestling each other, etc.), they laugh it off and say they're friends just messing around. This creates a "crying wolf" situation where the teacher becomes increasingly desensitized to this behavior and less likely to believe that there is any real bullying going on. "Kids will be kids", after all.

The remaining 10% of the time, when the teacher checks on a pair of students who actually are fighting, fingers start flying as each student blames the other, says "(s)he started it!", and justifies themselves as the victim defending against bullying. The problem is that it becomes hearsay; unless the teacher just happened to be paying attention at the exact moment the bullying started, it's impossible to tell who really started it. Who's the bully and who's the retaliating victim? Sure, if the teacher knows the students well enough, they may be able to figure it out themselves… but keeping track of dozens of students every year is easier said than done. As far as the teacher can tell, both students are just as equally guilty of being the bully, and the best the teacher can do is separate the students.

+85

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