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The Virgin Christmas Hater The Chad Christmas Embracer Doesn't agree on Virgin's hobbies but still bought him a new animu waifu pillow and fursuit head, doesn't like gingerbread but is still thankful for Virgin's gift with me and buddies you want tol Bitterly bought one pack of ginger bread for Chad as a gift, pretends to be indifferent to his gifts though he's actually excited saw Stacy kissing ノSanta Claus Carries his loudspeaker every- Gets depressed from all the carols he hears in the mall where he agreed to meet with Chad where he goes, blasting Christmas carols in maximum volume Puts no effort to his attire or packaging of the gift Tailored his own Christmas Chad attire, also has custom wrapping paper Completely shuts himself away from everything that can be remotely associated to Christmas Basically drowns himself to anything related to Christmas, has Home Alone roleplay sex with Stacy in the evening

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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Current /v/ versus 2011 /v/

The virgin current /v/ The Chad 2011/v/ Will share cool videos with you o Synchtube Streams" Kung Pow with a tiny, silent, sped-up WebM Obsesses about identity politics Seriously hopes you guys don't do this Posts off-topic whenever he wants because the mods fear him Mocks deviantArt autism Has no original culture has to steal memes from Twitter. Board is literally slowing down and dying Thinks the problem with Reddit is double spacing Has it's own fun culture that you can't get anywhere else Thinks games are bad if they're not #1 on Steam Doesn't care about politics at all unless it's SOPA threatening to f--- with his Internet Board is at the height of it's popularity Tries to be as cynical as possible A--- vore Starts off-topic threads with "What are s obscure games some video games where" because he's scared of the mods Beat Reddit in Tribes Ascend with a furry tripfag and a BR with 140 ping into cult classics Actually f------ streams Kung Pow and even adds new music to the cow fight His best argument is "you eat soy" Cringes Galo Sengen plays wherever he goes. Thinks anything that isn't the latest mainstream trend is boomer s---, yet is obsessed with Party Rock Antherm False-flags all the time because he's scared to be honest Hates Reddit for using rage comics in the same way Wojak and Pepe are used now Enjoys things from any year and doesn't call you a grandpa for liking something from 2010

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Final Fantasy Brave Chadvius

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The Virgin Hakuno VS. The Chad Shirou by Aardwarkthe2nd

The Virgin Hakuno The Chad Shirou Gets mind destroyed and his soul Split into mind, body, and soul, loses all agency shredded to bits, still EXCALIBLASTS All the Evil in the World Takes spotlight badass Hero of W blank slate self insert HAKU WHO? %) Fistfights with a priest to kill god of evil Has conceptual embodiment of Utopia inside fic bait Justice whipped by shrine maiden in any thing he shows up in, makes cameos as GAR Archer Chosen by some random doctor to get put into the fridge until a cure for their cold pops up Has really bad flu slaughters ten year old for own survival, watches him Died for the world's sins, seeking to save others even as he was betrayed by them. Walked towards death with a smile Chosen by the collective will of humanity to be the disintegrate while he Guardian that protects the screams Instantly takes the spotlight in any thing he shows up in (see Oath Under Snow?), makes cameos as GAR Archer all the time world Totally defenseless without their servant Super forgettable and shows up in nothing Fought the King of Heroes to save the world, kicked his ass POLYGAMIST CASTRATION FIST!!! Has bisexual girlfriends that are also into each other Fearlessly conquers educated prostitutes and defenseless anus The first protagonist of Fate, so manly that the concept of GAR was fades to black and tries to stay T for teen oon Cell, Can't decide on Hakuno With the power of the moon cell, all they can do is act as a cheer leader or power up their own gender without fan backlash Relies on his own mental world and abilities derived Moon Cell: Shirou created for him from himself embodiesconcept Has his own spin-off about nothing embodies a eneric NPC makes SO do the cooking for them of Superhero' but him cooking for his family

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The virgin Angel vs THE CHAD DEMON by Crocket_Lawnchair

The Virgin Angel VS THE CHAD DEMON Manly-ass horns Girly blonde hair and lame-ass Halo Looks like a Goat-Lizard WhatTheFuck hybricd boring-ass human F------ fire magic Only magical trait is flight Acts like an altruistic snob Evil and loves it Is that a f------ skirt ahahahahaha Tail usable for Always makes sure to look respectable Super edgy, enbraces it and goes all out f------ and killing Lawful Good Chaotic Evil Holy hell tights too? Goat legs, perfect for stomping heads

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The Virgin AD Mid vs. The Chad Tank Top by AceAzrian42

The Virgin AD Mid The Chad Tank Top Disgusting Toaster helmet Killed his adopted father all because he wasn't allowed to be an edgelord Carries on his fallen father's task by bringing balance to Runeterra Aesthically classic ninja cowl Despite being melee only pokes down his foes rather than face then directly Uses edgy wrist blades and shurikens like any weeb would Dives head first into action taunting his opponents and getting out without a scratch Utilizes two swords separately for both physical and magical damage Relies too much on ad only goes for weakened enemies "Heh, nothing personal kid" Has magic damage, charges into full health heroes Little to no team composition only cares for his own kills Can shield his own team and can draw attention from his enemies "I got you bro get in there"

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The Virgin Saxon Housecarl vs The Chad Norman Knight by TheRabbitKing

Virgin Saxon Housecarl Chad Norman Knight Helmet made from one piece of high quality steel Helmet is made from riveted plates, inferior quality His King Willy Conq is a GigaChad Equipment is all rusty from s----- English weather Charges straight into the shieldwall killing multiple men Decorated shield, invokes pride in his men and fear in the Saxcucks P--- mustache King has no legit claim to the throne Boring designed shield, too poor to decorate it his spear that can impale three men Lives in his own Motte-and- Bailey Castle im Weak arms means he can't hold his shield up, very vulnerable to Lost half of his fyrdmen at Stamford, other half left home for harvest time Directly descended from the Norse Settlers who came to Normandy Lives in some s----- hall with other virgin Housecarls Pretty good with a bow Levies from other lords folked to join him Wants to be in the back of the shieldwall, but gets shoved to the front Legs ache from having to march all the way from Stamford to Hastings Actions shaped History Has God on his side From Jersey, a Lander Prob thinks Guernsey is a nice Island Can only afford to wear a maille Has never walked on his feet in his entire life, always on horseback Has a hill on his side Wears a full maille Hauberk Haubergeon

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The Virgin Reddit Wholesome VS The Chad Irl Virtuous Being by turakissa

The Virgin Reddit Wholesome The Chad Irl Virtuous Being Would unironically ban a sub like r/ketchuphate just because it has the word "hate" in it Has been using proper terms for all species and other things ever since his toddlerhood Has never used Reddit in his life, too busy helping elderly to cross the street and working six hours per day in voluntary work Uses the words "doggo", "pupper", etc. 2 Only way he can feel the sense of accomplishing something in life is to get karma from posting a pseudo-positive preten- tious Twitter screenshot on r/wholesomememes Believes depression can be cured with just happy thoughts, shares s----- self help articles everywhere he can Doesn't measure his worth as a human by looking at artificial numbers, only reward he needs for his good deeds is for the other Has read ever tiny trivia about depression, knows it's a complicated problem with possible hormone imbalances or childhood trauma, just to name few Decorates his house walls with superficial text stickers like "Laugh, Love, Live", still ends up being in a bad mood person to feel good Goes to Virgin's house, rips off all the cheesy stickers and writes on the wall: "Life can be a bitch, so train it." Thinks everything that's not edgy is Enjoys edgy stuff himself from time to time wholesome"

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The Virgin Texas Red VS The Chad Big Iron by OutLandiAc

The Virgin Texas Red The Chad Arizonia Ranger Arrogantly assumes the ranger is olls people like a paz, probably compensating for So intimidating that no one dared to ask his business or dared to make a tlip uchto A Turned to man of lde of at ayoung ace Might have went on lving, bu made a fatal slip Wields a legendary Iren of absolutely massive size Vicious generally unpleasant to and a killer Deadly aim, all his bullets rip fairly Marks up his pistoll with s----- Caught hiding in some town Iron is unremarkable and does not have its Fearlessly pursues Texas Red Was willing to take Texas Red maybe dead, didin't Wouldn't be too long in town, politely does not overstay his Distinct lack of spurs that jingle jangle Has spurs that Jingle langle

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The virgin "Manly Man" vs the Chad Real Man by Pentonetrix

The virgin "Manly Man" The Chad Real Man Claims to know concepts he believes are manly, such as auto repair, and to not have experience with concepts he believes are feminine, such as cooking Able to cook, clean, and change a flat. Not for any expectation he believes society puts upon him, but because these are necessary him to have skills for Trying to grow a beard not because he wants one, but because he believes be must have one to be manly Constantly berates other men for not being manly enough," is deeply insecure Listens to heavy metal and rock because he believes it is manly actually prefers another genure Dresses in clothes he finds comfortable and appealing, yet does not overlook proper dress codes as well as the conditioas outside Wears clothing he finds extremely uncomfotable and which is not right for the weather because he saw a facebook meme wich stated "Real men wear jeans and work boots Likes media based on his own tastes, and recognizes other people have the right to their own tastes in media Has his own hobbies and doesn't care what oshers think about them, has met many friends who share his hobbies Shares gatekeeping memes about what he believes to be manly

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the virgin woman vs THE CHAD MAN by ClunkyChimp

the virgin woman THE CHAD MAN FLAWLESS FACE MADE IN GOD'S OWN IMAGE LIKE A FINE WINE ONLY GETS BETTER WITH AGE dyes her hair an artificial color unappealing no matter how well kept has to layer makeup orn to attract men, is a liar HIS HAIR CAN BE FILLED WITH RATS WILL STILL BE SEXY gets worse with age, how many old woman/young man relationships are there? exactly CAN JUST BE GAY AND NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH WOMEN complains NATURALLY BUILT TO DO ALL THE WORK TIİAT MATTERS if gay has to deal with women fat stores in hips, looks like cottage cheese down there FAT STORES IN BELLY, WILL BECOME A JOVIAL GRANDPA IN IIS LATER YEARS won't stop getting r---- MADE THE WORLD INTO WHAT IT IS problem->pointless details ->unrelated-->problem …>solution lives longer but has a higher chance of chronic illness, will suffer in her final moments DIES FASTER BUT LESS PAINFULLY CANNOT BE R---- higher endurance, ok PROBLEM->SOLUTION

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The Virgin Coming Out of Closet VS The Chad "Oh btw I'm gay lol" by turakissa

The Virgin Coming Out of Closet The Chad "Oh btw I'm gay lol" Was instantly anxious of his parents' reaction when he realized he's gay Planned his coming out for years, drove 60 miles to his parents house to tell them First thing he worried about when realizing his sexual orientation were all the disappointed Stacies at school, wouldn't give s--- if his parents wereup to third cousins negative towards him Told his parents when he was 12 spurted downstairs completely randomly and livestremed the destruction of his nonexistent closet to all his relatives way Stares into the souls of his parents so deeply it makes them gay for a second Can't watch his disappointed parents in eyes Stutters all the time tells corny stories how his online community accepts him but gets constantly interrupted by his ignorant parents Parents give 0 s----, proud of his son due to his accomplishments, not sexuality Both sides extremely calm and collected Parents are old farts who have no sympathy or support for their son "You're a disgrace to us. You're not our son any- more Leaves his parents' house in tears, never to see them again Lives in his parents house until he goes to college "Lmao we always kinda knew"

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The Virgin Trap Hook-Up Vs The Chad Dominance Ritual by GingerPyubes

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Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin Christmas Hater VS The Chad Christmas Embracer by turakissa

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The Virgin Christmas Hater The Chad Christmas Embracer Doesn't agree on Virgin's hobbies but still bought him a new animu waifu pillow and fursuit head, doesn't like gingerbread but is still thankful for Virgin's gift with me and buddies you want tol Bitterly bought one pack of ginger bread for Chad as a gift, pretends to be indifferent to his gifts though he's actually excited saw Stacy kissing ノSanta Claus Carries his loudspeaker every- Gets depressed from all the carols he hears in the mall where he agreed to meet with Chad where he goes, blasting Christmas carols in maximum volume Puts no effort to his attire or packaging of the gift Tailored his own Christmas Chad attire, also has custom wrapping paper Completely shuts himself away from everything that can be remotely associated to Christmas Basically drowns himself to anything related to Christmas, has Home Alone roleplay sex with Stacy in the evening

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Darocket

Darocket

Dec 26, 2018 at 01:35PM EST in reply to Alien Controller

She's in sexy pajamas, you're in sexy burglar outfit.
She places traps around the house, you have to catch her.
Good luck, lad.

+36

Kenetic Kups

Kenetic Kups

Dec 26, 2018 at 09:49AM EST

Personally I wouldn’t hate christmas if they wouldn’t start playing christmas adds and music the fucking second it hits 12:00 November 1st

+30

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