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Anon’s Dad was the best
Uploaded by Cold Hard Crash Jul 02, 2018 at 08:51PM EDT
greentext stories father shaggy scooby-doo 4chan
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![File (15 KB, 250x313, 263 121289253884 jpg) Anonymous (ID: VIA3Psto) 07/25/12(Wed)17:54:13 No.414684814 >sitting at my house >decide to go out and scar a child forever swalk to local grocery store >buy a fresh squid swalk to local elementary school find the most beta awkward looking asian kid I can find >walk over to the kid with a bag slung around my back and my s-------- clothing on >right when he locks my eyes I fall to the ground and start seizing s"Kid I need your help [uurrk] my bacg [cough cough] get it out of my bag >the boy seems apprehensive >convulse more and whimper a little >kid pulls out the fresh squid and drops it on the ground >I pick it up and eat it raw trying to swallow as much as I could without choking >get up with relative ease >the kids face looks like I just shattered his whole universe >say "Thanks kid Im anemic, see you around" and walk awa Somewhere in the world there is a boy who believes low red blood cells can only be replenished with squid. You're welcome universe Anonymous (ID: tkVzdAia) 07/25/12(Wed)17:56:45 No.414685329 2 File: 1343253405359 ipg-(5 KB, 251x251, 1341885627405.jpg) 10/10 OP great work Anonymous (ID: +CODJblG) 07/25/12(Wed)17:58:13 No.414685631 my faith in humanity is restored Anonymous (ID: roP1FOYp) 07/25/12(Wed)17:59:04 No.414685826 File: 1343253544841.ipa-(74 KB. 294x312 9221227.ipg](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/382/634/1f8.jpg "Bloody Cephalopods!")
![I Blind GF Guy !!UeycR30ZBT3 12/25/12(Tue)13:58 No. 13897379 [▼] >213897442 >Get up before she does and make sure everything is ready Warm mug of apple cider for her, cold cup of eggnog for me >Too warm for a fire in the fireplace, unfortunately >All is well She taps her way into the living room and I fold her cane and set it aside, seat her on the floor next to the tree >She's wearing cute pajamas, ankle socks, and her hair (normally up in a ponytail) is down and rumpled Snap a few photos, finally get a really good one of her "looking" at the camera and smiling Dog barges in wanting attention Distract dog with his present (rawhide bone) >Presents! She wrapped all my presents, but they're kinda lopsided >Tear wrapping paper off first one... W--? Box is literally covered every square inch in multiple layers of duct tape >She giggles and asks if I need help opening it Dammit, how did she secure this thing so well? >Cheat and use Fairbairn-Sikes knife to cut it open >The big heavy box is filled with two bricks and a phonebook >The hell? Smaller gift inside, also wrapped in lopsided wrapping paper Unwrap gift >Halo 4 Sweet Long story short, she got me Halo 4, a sweater with a zip-up collar (1 like the look of it, she just got it because she liked how soft it felt), and a box of 9mm 147gr Golden Sabers. She giggles and tells me her mom was laughing at the look on the clerk's face when he sold a blind girl ammo Igot her some more songs for her iPod, a braille copy of the Hobbit (which she only had on tape), and a couple audio books she can listen to on her iPod (most of her audio books are on cassette 'cause the library dumped theirs and sold them for pennies). Then the big moment Blind GF Guy eycR3 ZBT3 1 225 12(Tue)14:09 No.1 3897502 ▼ >>13897550 >13897558 >> 3897567 2213897575 >>13897604 >> 13897622 13897627 >> 13897638 >>13897645 2213897696 13897817 >> 13897880 >>13897937 >>13897971 >>13898057 >Heart starts racing >Stay cool man, you got this >Hell, youve been shot at and weren't this nervous ADRENALINE DUMP >Stop that >"Oh, there's one last gift under the tree." >She waits expectantly >Put it in her hand >She shreds the wrapping paper (every woman in my family spends ten years carefully unwrapping everything so they can save the paper. She just tears through it like a chainsaw. I love her) Tiny box covered in velvet Adorably puzzled face; realize since she doesn't wear jewelry she doesn't recognize a jewelry box >She figures out how to open it and feels the ring inside >Suddenly, she freezes and turns bright red >"Will you marry me?" >My >"Um. >She squeeks again, then thrashes around wildly with her arms, finds me, and literally throws herself into my lap and crushes me in a bearhug >"Yes! Yesyesyesyesyesyes! >Oh gosh, she's crying only response is a high pitched squeek Sit there holding her awkwardly while she keeps making squeeking noises and crying into my chest >She finally calms down and asks me to put the ring on for her >Starts Spend the rest of the morning cuddling on the couch, not saying anything, until it's time to go meet the rest of the family to exchange presents and announce the good news My parents are ecstatic; dad nudges me and says, "About time >Her parents are ecstatic; her dad already knew since I asked his permission first (I'm old-fashioned, sue me) and invites me into the den for a private talk and a glass of something really strong Welcomes me to the family. >Eat lunch with family and friends, then come home s crying again when I slide it on; it's a little too big, but hey She's humming the Safety Dance to herself and playing Marco Polo with the dog while I post this God's in his heaven, all's right with the world. So, how was /k/s Christmas?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/352/552/a82.png "God bless this anon")
![ottom] [Update] [ Auto] jpg (18 KB, 389x389) Anonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/693/013/081.jpg "Life is literally not hard | /r/Greentext")
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Uploaded Jul 02, 2018 at 08:51PM EDT
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Outcast Redeemer
Jul 02, 2018 at 09:24PM EDT
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