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CRACKED.COm SECRET HiPSTER MakinglSimple Decisions Needlessly complicated You need to purchase an item of clothing LAME: DECK: Decide what garment would be practical to fill your needs, buy something reasonable and affordable Consider what would look cool to smoke in, buy anything below $5 (ironie) or anything above $70 (fashionable) Someone asks what music you enjoy LAME: DECK: Give an articulate response that includes a few of your favorite genres and possibly one or two of your top bands or artists Scoff and warn that your tastes are too eclectic for the other person, name drop Pitchfork's best new music list You are invited out to a concert LAME: DECK: Get excited and appreciative, buy a t-shirt and immediately wear it, grab some beer、 and sing along with your friends Begrudgingly attend, loudly complain about the band "selling out stare at the floor and bitch about lack of PBR on top You are attracted to someone LAME: Introduce yourself and try to get to know them, if shot down, shrug it off and move on with your life DECK: Peacock with moustache or tattoos, if shot down write an under. appreciated song for the band you play bass in OF CRACKED.Com EMO

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AHAB ALL HIPSTERS ARE BASTARDS

Hipster Gets Mad His Photo Was Used In Article About How All Hipsters Look Alike, Then Finds Out It Wasn't Him BY SEAN MURRAY-ON MAR 12, 2019 IN DAILY THINGS

Hipster Gets Mad His Photo Was Used In Article About How All Hipsters Look Alike, Then Finds Out It Wasn't Him BY SEAN MURRAY-ON MAR 12, 2019 IN DAILY THINGS After seeing his picture in an article about how all hipsters look the same, a

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CRACKED COm The Hipster TRRNSLATOr What They Say vs. What They Mean What They Say What They Mean Meditation is the best exercise. Prepare for disappointment when I take off my shirt. I don't and wish I was more mysterious I have "issues." I'm agnostic. It's, like, arrogant to think you know the face of the universe, you know? Do you believe in God? I know lots of bands you've never heard of Check out this song I am a person of strong conviction and weak bowel Is this vegan? moveme nts. This is your chance to ask me about either. I found the perfect Urkel glasses and I couldn't resist I'm near-sighted. I like your jeans. I don't like your jeans Your neighborhood was cool before it got gentrified. If my parents knew how often I get mugged, they'd stop paying my rent. Do you have any canned Pabst? Can you take a picture of me drinking it? Do you have any beer? I don't believe in 'labels I do, and mine is 'hipster. I got this at American Apparel for $99.99 I got this at Goodwill for $1.00 John Steinbeck is my favorite writer Of Mice and Men was the only book I actually read in 12th grade English. I don't have a TV I think I'm better than you I ca n't remember the last I think I'm better than you. time I shaved. I have 'Whatchu talkin' ‘bout, Willis? tattooed on my ass. I think I'm better than you I don't have any Republican friends. I think I'm better than you Cars are bad for the environment. I'm poor and car-less, yet still think I'm better than you. Would you like ries with that? I think I'm better than you.

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PRETENTioUS HIPSTER BULISHIT

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WENT BACK IN TIME FOR VINTAGE CLOTHES thehipsterminator.tumblr.com

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CRACKED.COm SECRET HiPSTER MakinglSimple Decisions Needlessly complicated You need to purchase an item of clothing LAME: DECK: Decide what garment would be practical to fill your needs, buy something reasonable and affordable Consider what would look cool to smoke in, buy anything below $5 (ironie) or anything above $70 (fashionable) Someone asks what music you enjoy LAME: DECK: Give an articulate response that includes a few of your favorite genres and possibly one or two of your top bands or artists Scoff and warn that your tastes are too eclectic for the other person, name drop Pitchfork's best new music list You are invited out to a concert LAME: DECK: Get excited and appreciative, buy a t-shirt and immediately wear it, grab some beer、 and sing along with your friends Begrudgingly attend, loudly complain about the band "selling out stare at the floor and bitch about lack of PBR on top You are attracted to someone LAME: Introduce yourself and try to get to know them, if shot down, shrug it off and move on with your life DECK: Peacock with moustache or tattoos, if shot down write an under. appreciated song for the band you play bass in OF CRACKED.Com EMO

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