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After Shock
After Shock

Well first off, you as a Bug-type specialist (who might had been so sue to subconsciously being obsessed with your failures) you find your self at a disadvantage because Hau, Elio and Selene can and likely had caught pokemon of multiple types. Including the following Fire (which a 2/3rds likely due to starters), Psychic (Ariados has Position and Gosiopod has Fighting and while bug is offensively strong against Phychic they do not resit it. Oh and Hau is guaranteed have one Psychic-type) and Fairy (which is at least strong against Gosiopod, though Ariados would have a clear advantage)

A more direct possibility being that you have subconsciously internalized your inability to be the best (like no one ever was) due to years of abuse form your father and so you let your past hold you back.

Or to Occam it and give you a existential crisis, you are a fictional character in the role of the villain that must lose by default. Thus it is your destiny to always lose, much like Team Rocket.

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