Advanced Search Protips

What's The 'Dumb Ahh Pumpkin' Meme? The Silly TikTok Jack-O'-Lanterns You're Bound To See On Halloween Explained
What's The Correct Answer For The 6÷2(1+2) Equation? The Viral 'Math Bait' Meme Explained
Who Are 'Jinky Minus' And 'Gaper Bingzoid'? A Pair Of Bizarre New 'Star Wars' Characters Explained
'I'll Build My Own Wall' Comic Gets Lampooned In Memes
Sabrina Carpenter Creates New TikTok Trend With Her Live Performance Of 'Juno"

+3

Greentext Stories - 4chan PI: Part 5

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)07:04:44 No.36568234 >236568302 >>36568345 >>36568412 Ok then wife story time Not the most complicated of stories but memorable for the s--- involved >Told by boss a client wants us to locate his wife >Has been missing for the better part of a month after taking out a fuckton of money from his accounts >From what we can tell she converted it to cash or moved it into accounts we can't locate >Given all the info, last known location and known habits >Turns out we've done this before. Twice in fact. So we have a fairly good idea of where she could be. Women have a tendency to be creatures of habit >Problem is this ones habits are a bit whacky >Each time she's ran off she's gone to some really f----- up high class sex club and literally spent all her money there until she runs out and had to surface to grab more >First time was your typical 24 hour all year o--- club. There are some who f------ live in the thin dis eme BDSM club. She Needed time in hospital Second time was at an >So we realised this time was going to be worse. At the BDSM club we'd almost lost one of our group to a Gorean dom. Poor girl was never quite the same afterwards. Women rarely last in the job >First thing we did was hit the lists. Complete records of all clubs like that in Europe as she'd never gone outside the continent in the past for this sort of thing >Lot of clubs but we narrowed it down based on her area, lack of any sightings at airports (like f--- she'd drive or take a train) and so on >Went to a particular city infamous for this sort of s---. Lots of places like what we were looking for there. All tailored to the absurdly wealthy >Got off the plane, through customs and checked into a hotel. Declined the complimentary call girl ing Anonymous 09/30/14 Tue)07: 12:22 No.365684 12 2236568456 >>36568485 >>36568520 >236568566 >>36568591 >>365686 15 >Wait till the evening as that's when these clubs open their doors to strangers >Have to use this fancy ass disguise kit as we're known at more than a few of them and they don't like having customers stolen. Fortunately one of us knows how to use the bloody thing and we wind up looking like a group of stereotypical rich scots bushy orange mutton chops and all >Hit some of the clubs with no luck. Have a bad run in with someone who almost recognised us. Managed to escape without any incident beyond having to throw a few bottles at them and scream dog pile de spair that this going to turn into one of those long winded cas Be >lt does s all over Europe. Extra resources are pulled in as the client throwing more money at our bos er. >Eventually we get a tip. Someone has seen our target at a particular club >Celebration all round. Finally a solid lead >Then comes the bad news >lts a new club. Its a hardcore scat club We are talking a place that has never. EVER. Been cleaned >A literal den of filth and disease. They hose you off after you leave with anti-septic >She's in there and she has been in there a while >Call the client to tell him to arrange a discreet hospital stay, pickup and so on >Order some hazmat suits and guns from the boss >There is just no talking with some people Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)07:21:30 No.36568615 >>36568739 >236568786 >Few days later everything is a ged and observation of the club has not shown her leaving Some people do pay extra it seems to stay in the clubs own hotel where they can keep the party going >All of us are by virtue of being in this job a bit....obsessed with cleanliness >Try to convince the boss to send someone else. He refuses >All of us are sat there miserable. Trying to find any excuse to not do this. Not daring to be in the same room as our informant in the club >The gear arrives from the boss along with a bodybag to stuff the target in. An ambulance will be waiting as our escape vehicle >We give ourselves one final rubdown with alcohol gel, disinfectants and whatever else is handy in the shower before we get dressed and wait for everyone to be ready >l can only imagine the doormans confusion when four men in bright yellow hazmat suits carrying shotguns walked up him. >Said confusion prevented him from really acting until it was too late and he got a shotgun butt in the face >Rather than bothering with keys or s--- we simply shoot the lock off and kick in the door. >The first room is pretty much just an airlock. Step in, shoot the second lock and kick in the door. >It was...simply horrific >There was s--- everywhere and people rolling around in it copulating. Doing things that are simply indescribable. A woman shat into a mans mouth as he p----- into hers. People copulated in a pit full of human feces >We all just stood there in shock as people slowly noticed Then the screaming started A few shotgun bla the ling got them screaming more and running, we looked for our target in the crowd >Kicking in doors left and right every door revealing a new scene of horrific waste related kink. >No this was beyond kink. This was just sick. >These people were sick. Probably literally Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)07:26:38 No.365687392236568767 Target was found bathing in pis Target removed from bath and young man repeatedly kicked in corner to shut him u me im. Kicked him until pped moving. That place. It just got t rget was crying in the corner so we stuffed her in the bag a ried her out. A few more bla avin wa back. S--- s on the sides from people trying to get help from them. Guy stood outside it with a truncheon looking sick Ambulance waiting out >Throw target in the back >One of us makes the mistake of >His screams....they haunt me >Target was dropped off at a rather exclusive and discreet hospital >We were hosed off by courteous hospital staff >Foolish one who popped the seals on his suit spent the rest of the evening as a shambling zombie barely responding to anything. Improved after a few hot showers >Got back to the hotel and packed up to leave >Nobody talked >Nobody wanted to talk. >It was just...horrifiq >Since the client had paid so much the boss gave us considerable bonuses for that mess and vacation time. Which was nice >Two guys from the team quit the next day and climb in, guy gets in and drives us the f--- out of there popping the seal on his hazmat suit Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)07:27:52 No.3656 Oh yes forgot I don't like remembering that one. It was truly a horrible one. Smelt like a sewer for days afterwards despite the suit

View Gallery Random Image

Top Comments

Ingway

Ingway

Jan 29, 2016 at 10:02PM EST

I guess that was a rather shitty situation.

Ok but seriously, places like that don't actually exist right?… RIGHT?!

+4

Chrispy92

Chrispy92

Jan 29, 2016 at 10:10PM EST in reply to RandomVids

Just five I found. I think some of them have been over-exaggerated, (in particular the brainwash one) but you gotta admit, they're grand tales.

+3

+ Add a Comment

Comments (7)

Display Comments

Legal Information: Know Your Meme ® is a trademark of Literally Media Ltd. By using this site, you are agreeing by the site's terms of use and privacy policy and DMCA policy.
© 2007-2024 Literally Media Ltd.