w-whatcha got there, lil- lil green rock person? y-y-y-you're trying to flatter me with, stupid little presents and shit? I can literally make anything i want for myself, so these small gifts mean nothing to me….

(walks away)
(comes back)
unless its a 3DS game…

Morty: "Aww jeez Rick, where are we now?"
Rick: "I think we're in the >hurm< Magical Space Lesbian Universe, Morty, where the only straight girls like a hipster and a little fat kid. You had >blech< more luck getting laid in the Crying Breakfast Friends Universe."