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![THE BEACON POST Want to advertise? Visit: Published By Team PEAK Beacon's Only Newspaper! www.GivePateMoneyNow.edu Vytal Festival Delayed One Week, Mass Stylized Hallucinations Ensue Written By Eris Atropa Despite this hiccup, the Vital festival itself tournament that instead Team SSSN, made up of monkey guy, irony name, Sir neck tattoos, writing about in a stupid nonprofit student f------ newspaper because life is a dirty defeated Team NDGO with blind luck and four counts of manslaughter swimmingly as a number of teams from across the kingdoms proceed forward into the doubles round Now tell me that s--- Even weirder that that one year everyone you didn't know turned black. Not like in a racist way... I... Oh who even gives a fu efeats Just as the battle between Choco Adele and Mitsubishi Toyota of Team CFVY versus Mercury Bootsniffer and Emerald Team JNPR won a decisive victory against Story continued on page 57 straight of Team CMEN got underway everyone watching received simultaneous Team BRNZ yesterday unwanted but tolerated hallucinations of Professor Ozpin explain what huntsmen are. The official statement is that, "the animators needed more time to work on the next episodes", whatever the f--- that while team leader means... Maybe someone drugged the concession stand food or something. Wait um... hold on... ok my stash is safe... mean what? Anyway, the Vytal festivalllsexual tension between This issue is brought to you by be out on hold for one week and will resume at the same time next week. This announcement has been met with understanding from fans despite the fact they actually feel disappointed and somewhat cheated but don't want to be And by decisive l meant they threw local Adderall addict, Nora Valkyrie, at the enemy Jaune Arc continued to remain oblivious toward him and that girl from Ronnie Robot's Rocket Dildos or somethingI team's only sane man, don't care. Why the f--- you' Lie Come here for all your Ren, remains, "totally whatever it is they actually sell needs thing I can relate They're Story continued on page 57 to Page 57 Lastly, the confusingly named Team RWBY, made up of Weiss "I'm too good for poor people toilet paper" Schnee, Blake "Neko furry/former terrorist agent" Belladonna, Yang “got drunk and made out Despite being a figment of all of our collective imagination, hallucination zpin still managed to throw a dece amount of shade at everyone's good friend, General Ironwood. The content of with courtyard sculpture" Xiao Long, and their the hallucination mainly explained stuf anyone attending the Vytal festival tournament should already know. OzpinNothing... They won their match too... Shut up ended saying that despite whatever path huntsmen chose, they must never succumb to The Darkness leader Ruby Rose who is like super adorable, like oh my god she just aAhAGaha. I mean umm. uh Notes on last week's issue: Yes. I know the robot was an Atlesian Knight not an Elysium Paladin You're probably thinking that as a citizen of remnant, I should know the name of the world's in paid enough. Oh wait, I d been informed that our drunken assailant's name is Qrow Branflakes not Crow Branflakes. ‘Cause you know, thats how you f-----' spell that on't get paid. I have also Also, if you're wondering how his date with our field reporter went, Qrow showed up and remarked, "Huh, I honestly thought you were a woman. Eh, whatever." The rest of the night about how you'd expect. Koal said it was, "magical but [he] didn't understand some parts of it." Somebody im](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/046/424/8ba.png "The News is getting weirder these days.")
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The News is getting weirder these days.
Uploaded by Tman2bard Nov 26, 2015 at 10:52AM EST
team jnpr jaune arc nora valkyrie pyrrha nikos lie ren mercury black emerald sustrai professor ozpin coco adel yatsuhashi daichi team brnz nebula violette dew gayl gwen darcy octavia ember team sssn sun wukong scarlet david sage ay the beacon post
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![57 THE BEACON POST www.burnie.com"WORLD'S BEST NEWSPAPER"- Jaune's mother Cockbite Publishing Vale man decapitates robot, shows up drunk to sword fight. The official statement Another witness was according to Beacon seen running away press correspondent from the incident Glenda Goodwitch is e sniffing a boot. that, "None of this ever We didn't get an happened, get that camera out of my face, you can't prove anything." interview Despite all damage being repaired on site after the incident Our reporter managed Beacon still left Mr ask Mr. Branflakes himself about the fight Branflakes witha substantial repairs bill to which he responded, that he shoved in his "What fight?" and winked suggestively. when he thought no The reporter later foundone was looking mouth and swallowed Schnee Dust Company "Not mad, just disappointed." official statement appears to be a phone bar napkin with what number in their pocket. The reporter and Crow are said to be having "dinner" next Thursday Alcoholic homeless man Crow Branflakes attacked Atlas cleanliness enthusiast Winter Schnee in Beacon courtyard yesterday afternoon. Despite starting the After the incident altercation, the onlooking crowd quickly began rooting for Mr. Branflakes because, Gen. James Ironwood as one witness put it, Winter Schnee, "kinda seemed like a [expletive]". "He seems like a cool dude." Another onlooker defeated by a man said, "Kind a guy you could hang out with incapable of walking Prot. OZpin seen or would help you move your couch out of strait. The general rocking spray tan. your bitch ex-girlfriend Sandy's apartment responded with a hand Many taped not like she'd ever help, she's probably still over with Dave that [expletive]-biting just his, "bad arm son of a [expletive][expletive]." concluded, we asked how one of his Elysium Paladin robots could be gesture he claims wasepisodes of reality show "Vacuo Shore" found stashed in his bedroom. "I need help." Ozpin admits. acting up again."](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/046/327/73c.png "Gossip sections are a constant in all universes.")
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Uploaded Nov 26, 2015 at 10:52AM EST
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team jnpr, jaune arc, nora valkyrie, pyrrha nikos, lie ren, mercury black, emerald sustrai, professor ozpin, coco adel, yatsuhashi daichi, team brnz, nebula violette, dew gayl, gwen darcy, octavia ember, team sssn, sun wukong, scarlet david, sage ay, the beacon post
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Tman2bard
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Pelinal Cuckstrake
Nov 27, 2015 at 03:35AM EST