"I just wanted to play Monopoly"

That's a lie and you know it. Only the mentally insane want to play a game that lasts four hours.

Sets up the board

Now, I call the race car. We're putting the money from the tax cards in the middle and when we land on free space, we get the cash in it. And for the love of God, do not trade with my sister. Even if she gives you two monopolies for a single one, she'll rob you blind before you can act on getting houses set up.