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>Get married in Skyrim

: Anonymous 02/07/20(Fri)14:05:43 No.56629646 >Get married in Skyrim >Walk into my house in Whiterun >"It's good to see you again, my love" >Leave and re-enter so she'll say it again Anyone else know this feel? 191 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/07/20(Fri)14:12:49 No.56629729 Bro, this post. Just. 33 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/07/20(Fri)14:05:43 No.56629646 >Get married in Skyrim >Walk into my house in Whiterun >"It's good to see you again, my love" >Leave and re-enter so she'll say it again Anyone else know this feel? 191 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/07/20(Fri)14:12:49 No.56629729 Bro, this post. Just. 33 KB JPG

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anon has a realisation

>playing a single player shooter game >spend the entire playthrough hoarding all the primo ammo types and never using them >only use the s-------- weapons and ammo because "I might need the good stuff later" >complete the final mission >suddenly realize I got through the whole game without ever having fun with the coolest weapons in it >realize I'm doing the same thing with my actual life 128,0 kB PNG
>playing a single player shooter game >spend the entire playthrough hoarding all the primo ammo types and never using them >only use the s-------- weapons and ammo because "I might need the good stuff later" >complete the final mission >suddenly realize I got through the whole game without ever having fun with the coolest weapons in it >realize I'm doing the same thing with my actual life 128,0 kB PNG

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Shit Storm

O Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)21:20:29 No.814515219 >>814518531 Who wants to hear the story how I single handedly got my school shut down for a month when I was in high school? This will be several posts so bump the thread if you are interested >be me, sophomore >a loner for the most part, have a few friends but they aren't that close >ride bike everywhere >my mom is preggo with a girl due in a few months >dad is at work a lot (gets called in a lot so I get to spend actual time with him maybe once a week) >one Saturday mom is having baby shower, dad is at work >guess guys aren't allowed to be at baby showers >mom gives me 40 bucks and tells me to go to the mall or movies and get food or whatever while she has the baby shower >ride bike to mall, don't really know what to do >walking around different stores, end up in Spencers >looking at all the different gag toys when I see it >Ass spray >spray a little in the air and smell >putrid If you have never had the displeasure of smelling this stuff, imagine leaving a cooked egg and a massive wet s--- in a jar for a good week and then opening it to take a wiff. It's horrible Pone of the worst smells I could think of >first thing that comes to my mind is weaponizing this stuff >millions of ideas are flooding my head at once >this is too good to not pass up >buy it >for once I couldn't wait for the weekend to end and go back to school >Monday, in first period class >l am wearing a long hoodie with my hand tucked into the sleeve, with my hand gently holding the spray bottle You have to be really cautious with this stuff. One mispray will leave your clothes wreaking with the stench. This stuff is no joke, it's really strong. I'm surprised you don't have to be 18 to buy it, thať's how powerful it is. >just looking around the room waiting for an opportunity to spray something >get a better idea >about a minute before class is over I nonchalantly walk by the door and give a single spray >just one >no one caught me >30 seconds later a kid from the back yells "Yo did someone rip ass?" >silently snicker >more kids from the back smell it, then the middle, it eventually makes its way to the front >everyone rushes to get out of the classroom >a dude literally shoved a girl out of the way just to get out of class first >all of this from just one spray >no one person should have the power to cause this much chaos, yet I posses this gift in the palm of my hand >the class incident spreads around school by lunch time >I get excited as I quietly eat my sandwich hearing some classmate talk about how awful the smell was >few days pass, I've been contemplating different uses for spray >today was a rainy day >during lunch everyone packs into one of the buildings that has 2 floors >bingo >about 200 kids on the upper floor >I was talking to one of my only friends, we were at the very end of the hallway >decide it's too crowded up here, we should move to the bottom floor >I haven't told him about the ass spray, I don't intend to >not really close with anyone, can't trust him to keep a secret >as we are walking down the hallway I'm cradling the spray in my hand tucked into my hoodie sleeve >As we are walking and talking I'm giving the occasional spray, no one is noticing >finally the commotion starts at the end of the hall where we started >it's quickly making its way towards us >everyone is distracted, which gives me the opportunity to spray some more > finally friend starts smelling it and covering his nose >l play along and act like I'm disturbed as well > at this point everyone is trying to rush downstairs >kids getting knocked over, everyone is screaming >teachers are coming out of their classrooms to assess the commotion >they obviously figure it out right away >friend is trying to get downstairs too >l'm just watching all the disorder I've created >fight off the urge to give an evil laugh >next week >talk of the smelly building dies down >perfect time to stir the pot >over the weekend I bought a box of disposable gloves so stench doesn't stay on my hand >thinking of my next victim >at lunch hear Haliee and her friends >class hottie but 10/10 bitch >typical doesn't show you any kindness unless you are a jock or as hot as her type >having typical popular girl discussion, basically just trash talking everyone that isn't her >time to ruin the one most important thing to her, her hair >take straw and some paper, run to bleachers and hide under them >glove up and soak a paper wad with the spray >shove it into the straw, use a twig to get it into the middle >toss gloves, run back over to tables >her back is facing me, quickly launch spitball to her hair >it rests just perfectly into her hair >gave it about a minute >"did one of you fart?" >the girls get up and move, but the smell is attached to Hailee >they find out the smell is coming from her >specifically her hair >Hailee starts crying >everyone noticing commotion, they make comments on her hair >she runs to bathroom crying and embarrassed >she's now known as the girl who doesn't wash her hair >tfw you disrupt the social hierarchy of your class with one spitball >was fond of the spitball idea, use that several more times over the next week >landed it in people's hoodies and backpacks, they all would eventually notice the smell >it's like a discrete projectile fartbomb >this stuff is so strong, it was like engaging in chemical warfare >one lunch I notice Bryce >Hailee was an angel compared to this meathead >football player, huge bully, specifically made nasty comments towards kids with known disabilities right in earshot >it's a Friday night, home game tonight >perfect time to test out my new device >same concept as the spitballs, but I poured some of the spray in a squirt gun >if one spray can clear out a room, imagine soaking someone's clothes in it >luckily I also know where his locker is >l don't even need to break in, the lockers have little holes like pic related >right after school I run to the locker room >all his football gear is in there. Pads, pants, and jersey >pull out the squirt gun and unload over every piece of gear I can hit >l go until there is nothing in the squirt gun >the smell is leaking out of the locker already >put squirt gun in plastic bag, back in backpack to conceal smell >this all went down in the span of maybe 45 seconds, I got in and out quickly >game starts in 2 hours, better go get a ticket to the game and enjoy the show is about to start >game >unfortunately I don't know what the reaction was in the locker room, but I know he isn't going to get the smell off before the game >visiting team is already on the field >cheerleaders and pep squad doing their thing >finally our team comes running out >Bryce is trailing about 10 feet behind the rest of the team >my biggest regret this night is not recording the game >kick off, visiting teams ball >Bryce tackles the >immediately shoves Bryce off him >Ref runs over to give a penalty, gives Bryce a nasty look >I s--- you not, I swear I lip read from the ref you smell like s--- >l'm giggling in the stands like a weirdo >Game continues, eventually we have the ball >Bryce is going >guy behind him is crouched down with Bryce, maybe 2 feet away from him >l must have squirted his pants thoroughly >He's delaying from calling the hike >He stands up, takes his helmet off and vomits right on the field >crowd is disgusted >I was dying from laughter eguy hike the ball >Game gets delayed while the field gets cleaned up >coach benches Bryce >The team and cheerleaders don't even want to be near him >Eventually coach kicks Bryce out the game and into the locker room to change >crowd is confused as hell >meanwhile I'm sitting in the stands proud to be the one who ruined that bully's reputation >also we lost the game >after the squirt gun incident, I was out of the spray, so l ordered 2 bottles online >the chemical attacks would be put on hold until they ship >that following Monday, everyone knows what happened >He is humiliated. His football friends hate him, girls don't even want to talk to him, no one can let him live down what happened >he sits by himself now >I so wish I had friends to tell, but it's better this way >anyone who knows could reveal my identity >over the next week everyone is talking about the smells potentially being a prank >my name is never dropped, I'm way too under the radar >or so they think >they all suspect someone popular doing this since it has mostly been cool kids getting hit >this needs to go down as a legend at this school, but I need a name >fart boy >nah, lame >sinister stink >getting better >no no, I got it >"S--- Storm" >from this day forward, S--- Storm will haunt the school. S--- Storm strikes when you least expect it >just in the knick of time, 2 fresh bottles of ass spray just came in the mail >I'm spreading the word of S--- Storm through several random chemical attacks >During lunch while no one was looking, I'd open their backpacks and spray a few times >l'd go to the locker room while it was empty and spray someone's clothes (not to the extent I hit Bryce with) >if people left their hoodies unattended, you guessed it >l prewrote a bunch of hand written notes that l'd leave with every single person >"You've Been Nose Punched By The Cynical S--- Storm" >It doesn't take long for word to spread >It's even caught wind with the faculty and teachers >We get an announcement on the speakers one day from the principal >to paraphrase who ever is making the entire school smell, when you are caught you will be punished to the full extent of our school code" >that won't stop me >the reign of S--- Storm has only begun >After that announcement, ease up on all the attacks >not because I was scared, no no >because homecoming was on its way >of course, it was all part of the plan >I had to put everyone at a state of ease, make them feel like the prank was over >oh no, this is just the calm before the (s---) Storm >I went ahead and purchased 10 bottles of Ass Spray >here was the plan >l knew exactly where the ventilators for the auditorium were, where the homecoming was being held >during lunch the Friday before homecoming, I walk into the room with the ventilators, tied a shoe lace around the doorknob, and hid an old backpack with an old scream mask for Halloween I used years ago and a change of clothes (hoodie, jeans, old running shoes). >l also hid a wire hanger in the indoor bleachers >This will come into play later >In total I had 11 and a half bottles of the spray >get 10 plastic bags and 10 old socks >put the socks in the bags, dump an entire bottle of ass spray per bag. >they were completely soaked in the spray. I straight up almost vomited during this part from the concentrated smell of ass. >Seal the bags, those all go into a Fanny pack as well as some extra rubber gloves and the remaining bottle and a half of spray >The planning over, now to carry on with the execution >It's the night of homecoming >l got my suit on with my fanny pack tucked in >l get in, the place is packed with people from all grades >probably around 400 people >get into the bleachers, grab my hanger >thankful no one moved it >walk outside the back exit, walk over to the door with ventilators inside >it's locked, as expected >untwist the hanger so it's one long hook >shove it under the move it around and twist it a couple times >yank it out, the shoelace was raveled around the hook >pull the shoelace, opening the door from the inside >get in and close the door >hard part is over >since the door is locked from the outside, I can take my time executing this next part >change over my clothes to my hoodie and mask >take all the socks out of their bags and have them all ready in the fanny pack on my side >god the stench is putrid >gather everything into the backpack, including hanger and shoelace >glove up and get the remainder bottles of ass spray out >l pour them right into the ventilators >it'll take a minute to hit >only one more step of the plan >I step out the ventilator room and am outside the back of the auditorium, wearing my hoodie, mask, and backpack >my fanny pack is open with my socks >take a deep breath >It's time to run like hell >I charged in there like a maniac >throwing the smelly socks as I was running across the auditorium >it was a 2 front attack, by air and ground >both executed by me >everyone was scared >seeing a guy in a hoodie and bloody scream mask sprinting towards them would scare anyone >I wasn't so much aiming for people as I was spreading the socks to maximize stink >although the socks were dripping wet, I'm sure people were getting sprayed by the wet socks getting tossed around >I throw my last sock and charge out of there as quick as possible >the adrenaline was real, it felt like I was in there for maybe 5 minutes, couldn't have been longer than 20-30 seconds in reality >as I was running out I heard everyone going a------ over the smell >I couldn't stay for the after math, I couldn't afford getting caught >as I'm running away from the school I'm taking off everything and shoving it into different peoples trash cans >I ran 3 miles back home, I've never felt a thrill like that >sneak inside, hop in shower >I check Facebook and see people from school posting about what happened >"S--- Storm just ruined our homecoming" >"I just had to trash my suit because of S--- Storm" >"thank you for making homecoming interesting, S--- Storm" >School had to close down for a month so they can get rid of the stench >two weeks we had off, other two we had to get portable classrooms >apparently those ventilators also leaked into the classes >made the school news, someone "anonymously" said I ruined high school for them (99% certain it was Bryce) >Junior year >S--- Storm was more of a vigilante at this point, l'd hit kids who I deemed deserved it >Bryce is trying to make his way up the food chain by bullying again >sad enough it was working. He was making girls laugh and he's socializing with all the cool kids again >this time I was going to hit home for him >literally >At this point Bryce had a car >spoiled f--- >after school took note of the car he drove >knew the general area he lived in but not the exact house >ride around with my bike until I found it >s--- is about to hit the fan >I had no classes with Bryce this year so he wouldn't notice if I took a day off school >dumb meathead left his window cracked, thinks living on the second story wouldn't matter >S--- Storm has already established he can hit you from above >actually offended homecoming didn't leave that impression on him >after him and parents leave, I climb on roof and open his window >obviously using rubber gloves to not leave fingerprints >I spray the f--- out of everything in his room >clothes, bed, pillow, closet >I saw his cat chilling on his night stand just observing >spray the f--- out of his cat >l go home and play Xbox for the rest of the day >next day at school I hear the news >"S--- STORM GOT HIS CAT >kekles >ride my bike by his house after school >2 vans with professional cleaners parked outside his house
O Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)21:20:29 No.814515219 >>814518531 Who wants to hear the story how I single handedly got my school shut down for a month when I was in high school? This will be several posts so bump the thread if you are interested >be me, sophomore >a loner for the most part, have a few friends but they aren't that close >ride bike everywhere >my mom is preggo with a girl due in a few months >dad is at work a lot (gets called in a lot so I get to spend actual time with him maybe once a week) >one Saturday mom is having baby shower, dad is at work >guess guys aren't allowed to be at baby showers >mom gives me 40 bucks and tells me to go to the mall or movies and get food or whatever while she has the baby shower >ride bike to mall, don't really know what to do >walking around different stores, end up in Spencers >looking at all the different gag toys when I see it >Ass spray >spray a little in the air and smell >putrid If you have never had the displeasure of smelling this stuff, imagine leaving a cooked egg and a massive wet s--- in a jar for a good week and then opening it to take a wiff. It's horrible Pone of the worst smells I could think of >first thing that comes to my mind is weaponizing this stuff >millions of ideas are flooding my head at once >this is too good to not pass up >buy it >for once I couldn't wait for the weekend to end and go back to school >Monday, in first period class >l am wearing a long hoodie with my hand tucked into the sleeve, with my hand gently holding the spray bottle You have to be really cautious with this stuff. One mispray will leave your clothes wreaking with the stench. This stuff is no joke, it's really strong. I'm surprised you don't have to be 18 to buy it, thať's how powerful it is. >just looking around the room waiting for an opportunity to spray something >get a better idea >about a minute before class is over I nonchalantly walk by the door and give a single spray >just one >no one caught me >30 seconds later a kid from the back yells "Yo did someone rip ass?" >silently snicker >more kids from the back smell it, then the middle, it eventually makes its way to the front >everyone rushes to get out of the classroom >a dude literally shoved a girl out of the way just to get out of class first >all of this from just one spray >no one person should have the power to cause this much chaos, yet I posses this gift in the palm of my hand >the class incident spreads around school by lunch time >I get excited as I quietly eat my sandwich hearing some classmate talk about how awful the smell was >few days pass, I've been contemplating different uses for spray >today was a rainy day >during lunch everyone packs into one of the buildings that has 2 floors >bingo >about 200 kids on the upper floor >I was talking to one of my only friends, we were at the very end of the hallway >decide it's too crowded up here, we should move to the bottom floor >I haven't told him about the ass spray, I don't intend to >not really close with anyone, can't trust him to keep a secret >as we are walking down the hallway I'm cradling the spray in my hand tucked into my hoodie sleeve >As we are walking and talking I'm giving the occasional spray, no one is noticing >finally the commotion starts at the end of the hall where we started >it's quickly making its way towards us >everyone is distracted, which gives me the opportunity to spray some more > finally friend starts smelling it and covering his nose >l play along and act like I'm disturbed as well > at this point everyone is trying to rush downstairs >kids getting knocked over, everyone is screaming >teachers are coming out of their classrooms to assess the commotion >they obviously figure it out right away >friend is trying to get downstairs too >l'm just watching all the disorder I've created >fight off the urge to give an evil laugh >next week >talk of the smelly building dies down >perfect time to stir the pot >over the weekend I bought a box of disposable gloves so stench doesn't stay on my hand >thinking of my next victim >at lunch hear Haliee and her friends >class hottie but 10/10 bitch >typical doesn't show you any kindness unless you are a jock or as hot as her type >having typical popular girl discussion, basically just trash talking everyone that isn't her >time to ruin the one most important thing to her, her hair >take straw and some paper, run to bleachers and hide under them >glove up and soak a paper wad with the spray >shove it into the straw, use a twig to get it into the middle >toss gloves, run back over to tables >her back is facing me, quickly launch spitball to her hair >it rests just perfectly into her hair >gave it about a minute >"did one of you fart?" >the girls get up and move, but the smell is attached to Hailee >they find out the smell is coming from her >specifically her hair >Hailee starts crying >everyone noticing commotion, they make comments on her hair >she runs to bathroom crying and embarrassed >she's now known as the girl who doesn't wash her hair >tfw you disrupt the social hierarchy of your class with one spitball >was fond of the spitball idea, use that several more times over the next week >landed it in people's hoodies and backpacks, they all would eventually notice the smell >it's like a discrete projectile fartbomb >this stuff is so strong, it was like engaging in chemical warfare >one lunch I notice Bryce >Hailee was an angel compared to this meathead >football player, huge bully, specifically made nasty comments towards kids with known disabilities right in earshot >it's a Friday night, home game tonight >perfect time to test out my new device >same concept as the spitballs, but I poured some of the spray in a squirt gun >if one spray can clear out a room, imagine soaking someone's clothes in it >luckily I also know where his locker is >l don't even need to break in, the lockers have little holes like pic related >right after school I run to the locker room >all his football gear is in there. Pads, pants, and jersey >pull out the squirt gun and unload over every piece of gear I can hit >l go until there is nothing in the squirt gun >the smell is leaking out of the locker already >put squirt gun in plastic bag, back in backpack to conceal smell >this all went down in the span of maybe 45 seconds, I got in and out quickly >game starts in 2 hours, better go get a ticket to the game and enjoy the show is about to start >game >unfortunately I don't know what the reaction was in the locker room, but I know he isn't going to get the smell off before the game >visiting team is already on the field >cheerleaders and pep squad doing their thing >finally our team comes running out >Bryce is trailing about 10 feet behind the rest of the team >my biggest regret this night is not recording the game >kick off, visiting teams ball >Bryce tackles the >immediately shoves Bryce off him >Ref runs over to give a penalty, gives Bryce a nasty look >I s--- you not, I swear I lip read from the ref you smell like s--- >l'm giggling in the stands like a weirdo >Game continues, eventually we have the ball >Bryce is going >guy behind him is crouched down with Bryce, maybe 2 feet away from him >l must have squirted his pants thoroughly >He's delaying from calling the hike >He stands up, takes his helmet off and vomits right on the field >crowd is disgusted >I was dying from laughter eguy hike the ball >Game gets delayed while the field gets cleaned up >coach benches Bryce >The team and cheerleaders don't even want to be near him >Eventually coach kicks Bryce out the game and into the locker room to change >crowd is confused as hell >meanwhile I'm sitting in the stands proud to be the one who ruined that bully's reputation >also we lost the game >after the squirt gun incident, I was out of the spray, so l ordered 2 bottles online >the chemical attacks would be put on hold until they ship >that following Monday, everyone knows what happened >He is humiliated. His football friends hate him, girls don't even want to talk to him, no one can let him live down what happened >he sits by himself now >I so wish I had friends to tell, but it's better this way >anyone who knows could reveal my identity >over the next week everyone is talking about the smells potentially being a prank >my name is never dropped, I'm way too under the radar >or so they think >they all suspect someone popular doing this since it has mostly been cool kids getting hit >this needs to go down as a legend at this school, but I need a name >fart boy >nah, lame >sinister stink >getting better >no no, I got it >"S--- Storm" >from this day forward, S--- Storm will haunt the school. S--- Storm strikes when you least expect it >just in the knick of time, 2 fresh bottles of ass spray just came in the mail >I'm spreading the word of S--- Storm through several random chemical attacks >During lunch while no one was looking, I'd open their backpacks and spray a few times >l'd go to the locker room while it was empty and spray someone's clothes (not to the extent I hit Bryce with) >if people left their hoodies unattended, you guessed it >l prewrote a bunch of hand written notes that l'd leave with every single person >"You've Been Nose Punched By The Cynical S--- Storm" >It doesn't take long for word to spread >It's even caught wind with the faculty and teachers >We get an announcement on the speakers one day from the principal >to paraphrase who ever is making the entire school smell, when you are caught you will be punished to the full extent of our school code" >that won't stop me >the reign of S--- Storm has only begun >After that announcement, ease up on all the attacks >not because I was scared, no no >because homecoming was on its way >of course, it was all part of the plan >I had to put everyone at a state of ease, make them feel like the prank was over >oh no, this is just the calm before the (s---) Storm >I went ahead and purchased 10 bottles of Ass Spray >here was the plan >l knew exactly where the ventilators for the auditorium were, where the homecoming was being held >during lunch the Friday before homecoming, I walk into the room with the ventilators, tied a shoe lace around the doorknob, and hid an old backpack with an old scream mask for Halloween I used years ago and a change of clothes (hoodie, jeans, old running shoes). >l also hid a wire hanger in the indoor bleachers >This will come into play later >In total I had 11 and a half bottles of the spray >get 10 plastic bags and 10 old socks >put the socks in the bags, dump an entire bottle of ass spray per bag. >they were completely soaked in the spray. I straight up almost vomited during this part from the concentrated smell of ass. >Seal the bags, those all go into a Fanny pack as well as some extra rubber gloves and the remaining bottle and a half of spray >The planning over, now to carry on with the execution >It's the night of homecoming >l got my suit on with my fanny pack tucked in >l get in, the place is packed with people from all grades >probably around 400 people >get into the bleachers, grab my hanger >thankful no one moved it >walk outside the back exit, walk over to the door with ventilators inside >it's locked, as expected >untwist the hanger so it's one long hook >shove it under the move it around and twist it a couple times >yank it out, the shoelace was raveled around the hook >pull the shoelace, opening the door from the inside >get in and close the door >hard part is over >since the door is locked from the outside, I can take my time executing this next part >change over my clothes to my hoodie and mask >take all the socks out of their bags and have them all ready in the fanny pack on my side >god the stench is putrid >gather everything into the backpack, including hanger and shoelace >glove up and get the remainder bottles of ass spray out >l pour them right into the ventilators >it'll take a minute to hit >only one more step of the plan >I step out the ventilator room and am outside the back of the auditorium, wearing my hoodie, mask, and backpack >my fanny pack is open with my socks >take a deep breath >It's time to run like hell >I charged in there like a maniac >throwing the smelly socks as I was running across the auditorium >it was a 2 front attack, by air and ground >both executed by me >everyone was scared >seeing a guy in a hoodie and bloody scream mask sprinting towards them would scare anyone >I wasn't so much aiming for people as I was spreading the socks to maximize stink >although the socks were dripping wet, I'm sure people were getting sprayed by the wet socks getting tossed around >I throw my last sock and charge out of there as quick as possible >the adrenaline was real, it felt like I was in there for maybe 5 minutes, couldn't have been longer than 20-30 seconds in reality >as I was running out I heard everyone going a------ over the smell >I couldn't stay for the after math, I couldn't afford getting caught >as I'm running away from the school I'm taking off everything and shoving it into different peoples trash cans >I ran 3 miles back home, I've never felt a thrill like that >sneak inside, hop in shower >I check Facebook and see people from school posting about what happened >"S--- Storm just ruined our homecoming" >"I just had to trash my suit because of S--- Storm" >"thank you for making homecoming interesting, S--- Storm" >School had to close down for a month so they can get rid of the stench >two weeks we had off, other two we had to get portable classrooms >apparently those ventilators also leaked into the classes >made the school news, someone "anonymously" said I ruined high school for them (99% certain it was Bryce) >Junior year >S--- Storm was more of a vigilante at this point, l'd hit kids who I deemed deserved it >Bryce is trying to make his way up the food chain by bullying again >sad enough it was working. He was making girls laugh and he's socializing with all the cool kids again >this time I was going to hit home for him >literally >At this point Bryce had a car >spoiled f--- >after school took note of the car he drove >knew the general area he lived in but not the exact house >ride around with my bike until I found it >s--- is about to hit the fan >I had no classes with Bryce this year so he wouldn't notice if I took a day off school >dumb meathead left his window cracked, thinks living on the second story wouldn't matter >S--- Storm has already established he can hit you from above >actually offended homecoming didn't leave that impression on him >after him and parents leave, I climb on roof and open his window >obviously using rubber gloves to not leave fingerprints >I spray the f--- out of everything in his room >clothes, bed, pillow, closet >I saw his cat chilling on his night stand just observing >spray the f--- out of his cat >l go home and play Xbox for the rest of the day >next day at school I hear the news >"S--- STORM GOT HIS CAT >kekles >ride my bike by his house after school >2 vans with professional cleaners parked outside his house

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BAD TIMES FRIEND AHEAD. MAYBE NO COMPUTER MAYBE NO HOME I WILL GO AWAY BUT WE ARE TWO OF SOUL I WILL RETURN
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Anon talks to an old friend

11/03/19(Sun)20:26:37 No.813224409 Anonymous Yes hello I want to tell you story about myself 북직통전화 >be me >born in North Korea >live under communist party 115 KB JPG notFUNatALL.txt >l learn the computer VERY strong >one day, father says we must to going >"u has no choice, anon" >canNOTtellUthis PART. pdf >AFTER TIME eventually live in smallest state of china, just 100 million ppl! >dizzy.gif >one day, father tell me friend also left >'must to telecall him, Anon, he make very happy talking" >i make appt for library phone conversation good with old friend Picture of library phone i appt to call friend
11/03/19(Sun)20:26:37 No.813224409 Anonymous Yes hello I want to tell you story about myself 북직통전화 >be me >born in North Korea >live under communist party 115 KB JPG notFUNatALL.txt >l learn the computer VERY strong >one day, father says we must to going >"u has no choice, anon" >canNOTtellUthis PART. pdf >AFTER TIME eventually live in smallest state of china, just 100 million ppl! >dizzy.gif >one day, father tell me friend also left >'must to telecall him, Anon, he make very happy talking" >i make appt for library phone conversation good with old friend Picture of library phone i appt to call friend

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north korea china communism

Based Vidya Ghost

Anonymous 10/28/19(Mon)16:37:56 No.483230194 >be me >9 at the time >playing luigi's mansion for the first time >get to the piano ghost melody >develop crush on her 21 KB JPG force parents to buy me a keyboard and take me to piano lessons eventually get really good at it >ffw 3 years >playing the piano at some department store while waiting for my mom to finish shopping >girl from my school sees me "wow anon i didn't know you played that good" >turns out she's also a piano f-- >get her number fuckyeah.jpg >fw to today >still with her >going to college >probably gonna major in music >mfw this all started cuz i had a crush on some ghost bitch from luigi's mansion thanks luigi
Anonymous 10/28/19(Mon)16:37:56 No.483230194 >be me >9 at the time >playing luigi's mansion for the first time >get to the piano ghost melody >develop crush on her 21 KB JPG force parents to buy me a keyboard and take me to piano lessons eventually get really good at it >ffw 3 years >playing the piano at some department store while waiting for my mom to finish shopping >girl from my school sees me "wow anon i didn't know you played that good" >turns out she's also a piano f-- >get her number fuckyeah.jpg >fw to today >still with her >going to college >probably gonna major in music >mfw this all started cuz i had a crush on some ghost bitch from luigi's mansion thanks luigi

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datingsims 4chan nintendo luigi's mansion melody pianissima dj luigi wholesome halloween melody ghost greentext stories luigi

Anon learns to be strong

10/30/19(Wed)21:28:41 No.812952987 Anonymous Hey guys! Apologies for my weak English, I am a Turkishman and only learn English from schools and movies. Bear with me >be me 151 KB JPG strong 29yo Turkish man >meet qt3.14 and fall in love and marry her wife has twin sister, but not identical >sister very smart, have master degree and big job >one time twin sister visiting for dinner, wife unable to twist jar for opening >"Anon can you open?" >GRASP jar with both hands >"You like having strong Turkish man hands to open your jars" I make joke >both laugh, wife little blushing >Jar not opening. ALL MY STRENGTH. Still nope, hand sliding >Try again with towel, still no >Twin sister says that force won't work >She take butter knife, put under cover of jar >sssthththPop >pressure gone, jar open ez Pic of MFW learn brain strongest muscle and how she insert knife to jar
10/30/19(Wed)21:28:41 No.812952987 Anonymous Hey guys! Apologies for my weak English, I am a Turkishman and only learn English from schools and movies. Bear with me >be me 151 KB JPG strong 29yo Turkish man >meet qt3.14 and fall in love and marry her wife has twin sister, but not identical >sister very smart, have master degree and big job >one time twin sister visiting for dinner, wife unable to twist jar for opening >"Anon can you open?" >GRASP jar with both hands >"You like having strong Turkish man hands to open your jars" I make joke >both laugh, wife little blushing >Jar not opening. ALL MY STRENGTH. Still nope, hand sliding >Try again with towel, still no >Twin sister says that force won't work >She take butter knife, put under cover of jar >sssthththPop >pressure gone, jar open ez Pic of MFW learn brain strongest muscle and how she insert knife to jar

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anon turkish jar married married life strong strength turkey

Anon dreams of rubles

10/29/19(Tue)20:30:11 No.812878971 Anonymous Dear friends: my english is good but not so much perfect. I am from russia >being me >russian special agent but not as fancy as sound >all day long clean offices and 533 KB JPG hallway at ministry of defences >one day, find document TOP SECRET written on it in the english on floor >pick up TOP SECRET paper to closer look >just cover page, no other information >hide paper, if american agent ever try to buy me, will use to leverage >pic of all money i dream it bring
10/29/19(Tue)20:30:11 No.812878971 Anonymous Dear friends: my english is good but not so much perfect. I am from russia >being me >russian special agent but not as fancy as sound >all day long clean offices and 533 KB JPG hallway at ministry of defences >one day, find document TOP SECRET written on it in the english on floor >pick up TOP SECRET paper to closer look >just cover page, no other information >hide paper, if american agent ever try to buy me, will use to leverage >pic of all money i dream it bring

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rubles russia spy

femanon misses lil bro


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femanon aww cute adorable siblings love miss you flowers brother sister

femanon loves vegemite

File: hee hee.png (7 KB, 235x214) femanon loves vegemite Anonymous be me >femanon from australia grew up eating Vegemite >logically know it shouldn't taste good still love it >mfw i make non-aussies eat it
File: hee hee.png (7 KB, 235x214) femanon loves vegemite Anonymous be me >femanon from australia grew up eating Vegemite >logically know it shouldn't taste good still love it >mfw i make non-aussies eat it

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femanon greentext story funny lol haha hee hee vegemite australia australian

bored femanon

File: so-original.jpg (20 KB, 400x293) bored femanon Anonymous 10/29/19 (Tue) be me >australian living overseas mfw people ask me if i ride kangroos to school haven't heard that one before
File: so-original.jpg (20 KB, 400x293) bored femanon Anonymous 10/29/19 (Tue) be me >australian living overseas mfw people ask me if i ride kangroos to school haven't heard that one before

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femanon australia australian living overseas expat kangaroo riding kangaroos lol sarcastic bored

femanon is shocked

File: i-want-my-mom.jpg (45 KB, 620x620) femanon is shocked Anonymous 10/29/19(Tu be me >femanon >likes avoiding conflict sees the best in people >thinks humanity is beautiful mfw when i accidentally see comments on 4chan
File: i-want-my-mom.jpg (45 KB, 620x620) femanon is shocked Anonymous 10/29/19(Tu be me >femanon >likes avoiding conflict sees the best in people >thinks humanity is beautiful mfw when i accidentally see comments on 4chan

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femanon 4chan nice humanity is good people people are good mean comments shocked i want my mom

femanon's 4chan experience


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femanon 4chan story nice story mean insults confused what did i do huh why whoa relax

femanon wakes up early

File: L-am-renewed.jpg (19 KB, 500x365) femanon wakes up early Anonymous >be me >serial night owl >wakes up early one morning birds-singing.jpg sun-shining.jpg i am reborn
File: L-am-renewed.jpg (19 KB, 500x365) femanon wakes up early Anonymous >be me >serial night owl >wakes up early one morning birds-singing.jpg sun-shining.jpg i am reborn

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femanon waking up getting out of bed sleeping early early morning morning birds sunshine happy

frustrated femanon

File: im-fine.jpg (11 KB, 243x207) frustrated femanon Anonymous 10/2 be me femanon from australia >now lives in country with actual winter >loves winter clothes coats scarves boots >fashun.jpg excited for winter in summer >fall starts (SCREAMS INTERNALLY >bring it on biatch starts to get cold >forgets what cold felt like bam >hates winter wants summer again >fml.jpg
File: im-fine.jpg (11 KB, 243x207) frustrated femanon Anonymous 10/2 be me femanon from australia >now lives in country with actual winter >loves winter clothes coats scarves boots >fashun.jpg excited for winter in summer >fall starts (SCREAMS INTERNALLY >bring it on biatch starts to get cold >forgets what cold felt like bam >hates winter wants summer again >fml.jpg

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femanon winter summer weather clothing coat boots decision change mind changes mind lol haha funny funny story

femanon is spontaneous

File: y2jpg (11 KB, 300x218) femanon is spontaneous Anonymous >be me spontaneous femanon >likes change >dyes hair regularly new hairstyles >hmmm bangs might be nice >cuts bangs >regrets it >checks if they grow every day time-moves-slowly.jpg waits 2 years for bangs to grow out >harder than quitting smoking hair finally long again >feeling spontaneous >dyes hair wants change >brain: monkey banging cymbals cuts bangs again >david attenborough: the femanon has a 30 second memory
File: y2jpg (11 KB, 300x218) femanon is spontaneous Anonymous >be me spontaneous femanon >likes change >dyes hair regularly new hairstyles >hmmm bangs might be nice >cuts bangs >regrets it >checks if they grow every day time-moves-slowly.jpg waits 2 years for bangs to grow out >harder than quitting smoking hair finally long again >feeling spontaneous >dyes hair wants change >brain: monkey banging cymbals cuts bangs again >david attenborough: the femanon has a 30 second memory

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femanon hair cutting cutting hair bangs fringe funny story story funny lol haha cute regret

femanon forgives goodboi

File: y-u-so-cute.png (120 KB, 689x539) femanon forgives goodboi Anonymous >be me >25 y/o, full time job >feel like a rich bitch now i'm not unemployed go into fancy cheese and wine shop >pretend i know what i'm doing >taste many cheeses >pair them with wine >fkn killing it >buy expensive cheese >leave the cheese on kitchen counter has a shower gets dressed, looks for cheese no cheese wrapper on the ground >call out to dog >mfw when i see the guilty look on his face >too adorable >forgives him for eating expensive cheese >at least he has good taste >learnt from his mumma
File: y-u-so-cute.png (120 KB, 689x539) femanon forgives goodboi Anonymous >be me >25 y/o, full time job >feel like a rich bitch now i'm not unemployed go into fancy cheese and wine shop >pretend i know what i'm doing >taste many cheeses >pair them with wine >fkn killing it >buy expensive cheese >leave the cheese on kitchen counter has a shower gets dressed, looks for cheese no cheese wrapper on the ground >call out to dog >mfw when i see the guilty look on his face >too adorable >forgives him for eating expensive cheese >at least he has good taste >learnt from his mumma

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dog doggo pupper pup goodboi good boy goodboy funny cheese story lol haha cute shame guilty guilty face adorable

pupper shames femanon


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femanon dog goodboi good boy good boi pupper doggo poo poop shame embarrassment lol picnic family funny story

Anon Is the World's Greatest Hacker

File: 71Xz6ej.png (648 KB, 610x915) Anonymous (ID: us1iXD6Q) 06/06/14(Fri)17:30:27 No.549923098 >be me world's greatest hacker #1 on FBl's most wanted list but they can't track me down because i always delete my browser history >just got done hacking entire internet now every user in the world gets redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com >epic lulz one of my hackerbros messages me on AIM >tells me that 420 1337_h4x0r 420, my #1 hackerbro, has been arrested >they were able to backtrace his IP because he forgot to browse on incognito mode word on the street is he's already ratted me out look out window >FBI helicopters circling overhead >hah! those bastards don't know who they're dealing with >open up internet explorer oh yeah, forgot about that get redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com run disableblackpeoplemeet.exe >now it's time for some world class hacking go to fbi.gov/hack >f---, there's a password something appears on the bottom right coner of my screen it's that goddamn talking paperclip "it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you like help?" >f--- off clippy, I'm trying to work here it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you-" >click the little f----- just to make him shut up clippy gives me the password >guess he's not so bad after all >now that i'm in, i go to fbi.gov/hack/helicopters 'congratulations, hacker!" you now have full control of the FBI's helicopters! what would you like them to do?" A) turn left B) turn right C) ascend D) descend E) explode" go with option E >BOOM, baby >flaming helicopters fall from the sky mfw
File: 71Xz6ej.png (648 KB, 610x915) Anonymous (ID: us1iXD6Q) 06/06/14(Fri)17:30:27 No.549923098 >be me world's greatest hacker #1 on FBl's most wanted list but they can't track me down because i always delete my browser history >just got done hacking entire internet now every user in the world gets redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com >epic lulz one of my hackerbros messages me on AIM >tells me that 420 1337_h4x0r 420, my #1 hackerbro, has been arrested >they were able to backtrace his IP because he forgot to browse on incognito mode word on the street is he's already ratted me out look out window >FBI helicopters circling overhead >hah! those bastards don't know who they're dealing with >open up internet explorer oh yeah, forgot about that get redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com run disableblackpeoplemeet.exe >now it's time for some world class hacking go to fbi.gov/hack >f---, there's a password something appears on the bottom right coner of my screen it's that goddamn talking paperclip "it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you like help?" >f--- off clippy, I'm trying to work here it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you-" >click the little f----- just to make him shut up clippy gives me the password >guess he's not so bad after all >now that i'm in, i go to fbi.gov/hack/helicopters 'congratulations, hacker!" you now have full control of the FBI's helicopters! what would you like them to do?" A) turn left B) turn right C) ascend D) descend E) explode" go with option E >BOOM, baby >flaming helicopters fall from the sky mfw

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hacker 4chan clippy

The [Space]Farer's Sacrament- A filk song by /tg/

Reposting so I can screencap 09/01/14(Mon)03:27:32 No.34550553 Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:37:39 No.34550715 3455057534550645 34550785 >34550423 (You) >34550316 >34550072 (You) 34550054 (You) >>34550575 (You) So now I want to sing this, but I feel like it needs a chorus to break up the monotony. Any ideas? Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:42:08 No.34550785 In ages past we looked above and gazed upon the stars, >34550715 And wondered if a man could live on Luna or on Mars. Today men fly that starry night and bless'd are we who know, The hallowed names and faces of the men who made it so. Well, it fits the meter for a lot of Irish/Scottish drinking songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXWysTMRP7o [Remove] [Yuri] might not be, some say, the first into the Black, But none deny the truth that he's [The First] to make it back. We look to good old Yuri as the patron of our race, Humanity's protector in this vast and outer space. <0 The Sick Note - The Dubliners DUBLINDKO MILESTONES [Neil] knew it was his duty to use NASA's mighty boon, And take [The Giant] leap on man's behalf up to the Moon. Now colonists and settlers look to Neil for peace of mind, On having made the choice to leave their homeworld far behind. [Buzz] was a mighty pilot and just may have been the best, But more, he was [The Dreamer] seeing far beyond the rest. With name dear to the hearts of anyone who's grabbed the helm We thank Buzz for the future he foresaw our starry realm. [Michael] chose himself a role that most men could not take, Crewed his command module [Loner] for Eleven's mission's sake. When a 'farer's flying solo and his ship is far from home, He can trust that Michael's with him and he's never quite alone. Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:51:58 No.34550934 »34550980 John] may have never gone to space but hallowed is his name, Without his [Steely Eye] Apollo would've died in flames. His brilliant troubleshooting saved Man's place among the stars, Now farers pray to Johnny as our helpful friend afar 34539243 34539277 This brought tears to my eyes I can't explain. Jim] took the role of captain on Thirteen's unlucky flight, And without him as [The Leader] they'd been lost unto the night. We oft think of Jim's example when we're facing matters grave, For he taught us: to be calm, to be resourceful, to be brave. The day /tg/ [Georgy, Vladislav and Vicktor] earned their solemn, holy place, And will always be [Remembered] as the first to die in space. When our fellows go to join them they would tell us not to cry, But to drink a shot and know they're in that bright and starry sky. wrote filk. [Laika] was a mongrel, who had more than shown her worth As [The Loyal] friend of man who proved that we could leave the Earth Now the shipboard pets and critters that we choose to share our days, Are all guarded and protected under Laika's watchful gaze. Whenever we break atmosphere, we call out to two more And beg their benediction on that vast dark ocean's shore Whose crews did burn like novae where the Earth's blue fades to black To [Challenger] when setting out, [Columbia] when back We lift a glass to those who laid our path into the sky A solemn prayer in thanks before into the black we fly We ask you to watch over us wherever we are sent And offer up our voices in a Farer's Sacrament.
Reposting so I can screencap 09/01/14(Mon)03:27:32 No.34550553 Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:37:39 No.34550715 3455057534550645 34550785 >34550423 (You) >34550316 >34550072 (You) 34550054 (You) >>34550575 (You) So now I want to sing this, but I feel like it needs a chorus to break up the monotony. Any ideas? Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:42:08 No.34550785 In ages past we looked above and gazed upon the stars, >34550715 And wondered if a man could live on Luna or on Mars. Today men fly that starry night and bless'd are we who know, The hallowed names and faces of the men who made it so. Well, it fits the meter for a lot of Irish/Scottish drinking songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXWysTMRP7o [Remove] [Yuri] might not be, some say, the first into the Black, But none deny the truth that he's [The First] to make it back. We look to good old Yuri as the patron of our race, Humanity's protector in this vast and outer space. <0 The Sick Note - The Dubliners DUBLINDKO MILESTONES [Neil] knew it was his duty to use NASA's mighty boon, And take [The Giant] leap on man's behalf up to the Moon. Now colonists and settlers look to Neil for peace of mind, On having made the choice to leave their homeworld far behind. [Buzz] was a mighty pilot and just may have been the best, But more, he was [The Dreamer] seeing far beyond the rest. With name dear to the hearts of anyone who's grabbed the helm We thank Buzz for the future he foresaw our starry realm. [Michael] chose himself a role that most men could not take, Crewed his command module [Loner] for Eleven's mission's sake. When a 'farer's flying solo and his ship is far from home, He can trust that Michael's with him and he's never quite alone. Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:51:58 No.34550934 »34550980 John] may have never gone to space but hallowed is his name, Without his [Steely Eye] Apollo would've died in flames. His brilliant troubleshooting saved Man's place among the stars, Now farers pray to Johnny as our helpful friend afar 34539243 34539277 This brought tears to my eyes I can't explain. Jim] took the role of captain on Thirteen's unlucky flight, And without him as [The Leader] they'd been lost unto the night. We oft think of Jim's example when we're facing matters grave, For he taught us: to be calm, to be resourceful, to be brave. The day /tg/ [Georgy, Vladislav and Vicktor] earned their solemn, holy place, And will always be [Remembered] as the first to die in space. When our fellows go to join them they would tell us not to cry, But to drink a shot and know they're in that bright and starry sky. wrote filk. [Laika] was a mongrel, who had more than shown her worth As [The Loyal] friend of man who proved that we could leave the Earth Now the shipboard pets and critters that we choose to share our days, Are all guarded and protected under Laika's watchful gaze. Whenever we break atmosphere, we call out to two more And beg their benediction on that vast dark ocean's shore Whose crews did burn like novae where the Earth's blue fades to black To [Challenger] when setting out, [Columbia] when back We lift a glass to those who laid our path into the sky A solemn prayer in thanks before into the black we fly We ask you to watch over us wherever we are sent And offer up our voices in a Farer's Sacrament.

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filk music