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Anon learns to hate his heritage | /r/Greentext

File: mfw _pepe.jpg (41 KB, 736x627) O What is wrong with Norwegian women? Anonymous (ID: K25ZvqKO) 07/15/21(Thu)15:11:28 No.330121524 [Reply] >>330121743 >>330122549 >>330123308 >Be me, American college student on exchange program to Norway >Ethnically Norwegian >Walking around campus >Norwegian girl with big bubble butt puts her hand on my shoulder and starts talking Norwegian to me >Tell her I don't speak Norwegian >She says "Oh, sorry you look very Norwegian" >I tell her I am Norwegian I'm just not from Norway >She says "No, you are American" >l didn't even tell her I was American I guess it was just obvious once I started speaking >I say I can't be ethnically American so I must be Norwegian >She leaves >mfw I would have gotten laid if I spoke Norwegian >mfw I wish my ancestors never left Norway
File: mfw _pepe.jpg (41 KB, 736x627) O What is wrong with Norwegian women? Anonymous (ID: K25ZvqKO) 07/15/21(Thu)15:11:28 No.330121524 [Reply] >>330121743 >>330122549 >>330123308 >Be me, American college student on exchange program to Norway >Ethnically Norwegian >Walking around campus >Norwegian girl with big bubble butt puts her hand on my shoulder and starts talking Norwegian to me >Tell her I don't speak Norwegian >She says "Oh, sorry you look very Norwegian" >I tell her I am Norwegian I'm just not from Norway >She says "No, you are American" >l didn't even tell her I was American I guess it was just obvious once I started speaking >I say I can't be ethnically American so I must be Norwegian >She leaves >mfw I would have gotten laid if I spoke Norwegian >mfw I wish my ancestors never left Norway

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Anon has been bamboozled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)12:25:10 No.64588901 >start hanging out with this girl from work occasionally >shes always asked me to hang out, ive never asked her God gives hissiliest battles to his funniest clowns >shes pretty flirty, at least playful, willing to be goofy/touchy with me >talking to some dude I work with >he mentions that her boyfriend came into our work 141 KB JPG today >shes never once mentioned the fact that she has a boyfriend to me Am I being taken for a ride? Would a girl immediately mention her boyfriend to someone she had no interest in?
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)12:25:10 No.64588901 >start hanging out with this girl from work occasionally >shes always asked me to hang out, ive never asked her God gives hissiliest battles to his funniest clowns >shes pretty flirty, at least playful, willing to be goofy/touchy with me >talking to some dude I work with >he mentions that her boyfriend came into our work 141 KB JPG today >shes never once mentioned the fact that she has a boyfriend to me Am I being taken for a ride? Would a girl immediately mention her boyfriend to someone she had no interest in?

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Bitter pill to swallow | /r/Greentext


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Leaderboard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)19:58:26 No.62359221 >gym owner pulls me aside >tells me i'm definitely in the top 3 of his ugliest members >ask him which of the 3 1 am >he just laughs and slaps my back, winking 75 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)19:58:26 No.62359221 >gym owner pulls me aside >tells me i'm definitely in the top 3 of his ugliest members >ask him which of the 3 1 am >he just laughs and slaps my back, winking 75 KB PNG

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Anon questions Freud | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:01:50 No.18657499 >All little boys want to get f----- by their mothers, because I say so. >All little girls want to have d---- to f--- their fathers with, because I say so. >Babies get sexually aroused by sucking on their Mom's t--- and s------- in their diapers, because I say so. >But me inserting a big brown d--- into my mouth every waking hour of my life means nothing, because I say 270 KB JPG so. Why did anyone ever take this old pervert seriously?
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:01:50 No.18657499 >All little boys want to get f----- by their mothers, because I say so. >All little girls want to have d---- to f--- their fathers with, because I say so. >Babies get sexually aroused by sucking on their Mom's t--- and s------- in their diapers, because I say so. >But me inserting a big brown d--- into my mouth every waking hour of my life means nothing, because I say 270 KB JPG so. Why did anyone ever take this old pervert seriously?

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Anon is a nihilist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)17:27:40 No.859066933 >be me >egoistic nihilist >have a tomboy gf who loves me and tries her best to make me feel good >is also a huge attention seeker and a wannabe comedian >annoys the s--- out of me 90% of the time 608 KB PNG >i still love her despite this >i decide to get to know a girl in my class that turns out to be very simillar to me (quiet, collected, likes to talk about life, has the same sense of humor as i do) >she's also a cute aspie >we meet 1 on 1 a couple of times >clearly like each other >i have no idea what i'm supposed to do >stick to my annoying gf simply because i can't let her go >or leave her for the new girl that i think i could be happy with, but i don't know if she's interested in me on that level 38 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:42:42 No.859077027 >>859075799 # Well, he is being a f-----. In trying to juggle both, both will drop him. Just break it off with tomboy and go with quiet girl
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)17:27:40 No.859066933 >be me >egoistic nihilist >have a tomboy gf who loves me and tries her best to make me feel good >is also a huge attention seeker and a wannabe comedian >annoys the s--- out of me 90% of the time 608 KB PNG >i still love her despite this >i decide to get to know a girl in my class that turns out to be very simillar to me (quiet, collected, likes to talk about life, has the same sense of humor as i do) >she's also a cute aspie >we meet 1 on 1 a couple of times >clearly like each other >i have no idea what i'm supposed to do >stick to my annoying gf simply because i can't let her go >or leave her for the new girl that i think i could be happy with, but i don't know if she's interested in me on that level 38 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:42:42 No.859077027 >>859075799 # Well, he is being a f-----. In trying to juggle both, both will drop him. Just break it off with tomboy and go with quiet girl

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Anon gets his computer back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)23:24:16 No.64586847 File: 1626047117977.gif (1.05 MB, 358x390) >teen, masturbating to p--- >take a break to take a piss >come back, laptop is gone off my bed >parent's door is closed >go in their room, mom is asleep >wake her up, ask her where my laptop is >she says she took it >ask her why >she launches into an angry rant about how I was looking at nasty s--- >was a teenage virgin female looking at a man masturbating lol >asked her if she'd prefer me to have casual sex >she actually says "you're JUST TRYING TO SHOCK ME!"" >say some s--- about how she needs to just give me my laptop back if she can't have a mature conversation about this and that I want to masturbate >she gives it back >holyshitlcan'tbelievethatworked.gif >go back to my bedroom with my laptop 27 years old now and have a great relationship with my mom. I think she was just butthurt and shocked I had p--- on my laptop. I recommend going full brazen mode it works very often. I use it a lot
Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)23:24:16 No.64586847 File: 1626047117977.gif (1.05 MB, 358x390) >teen, masturbating to p--- >take a break to take a piss >come back, laptop is gone off my bed >parent's door is closed >go in their room, mom is asleep >wake her up, ask her where my laptop is >she says she took it >ask her why >she launches into an angry rant about how I was looking at nasty s--- >was a teenage virgin female looking at a man masturbating lol >asked her if she'd prefer me to have casual sex >she actually says "you're JUST TRYING TO SHOCK ME!"" >say some s--- about how she needs to just give me my laptop back if she can't have a mature conversation about this and that I want to masturbate >she gives it back >holyshitlcan'tbelievethatworked.gif >go back to my bedroom with my laptop 27 years old now and have a great relationship with my mom. I think she was just butthurt and shocked I had p--- on my laptop. I recommend going full brazen mode it works very often. I use it a lot

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Anon buys a car | /r/Greentext

File: 1590208247195.jpg (271 KB, 930x861) O Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:00:11 No.24359092 >>24359120 >go to look at a used car >seller is an old guy >he doesn't stop talking as soon as i approach him >agree to buy car >he now messages me every day randomly WAT DO Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:03:28 No.24359117 >> Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:03:54 No.24359120 >>24359092 (OP) Suck him off behind the lowes, it's all he wants WOJAK
File: 1590208247195.jpg (271 KB, 930x861) O Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:00:11 No.24359092 >>24359120 >go to look at a used car >seller is an old guy >he doesn't stop talking as soon as i approach him >agree to buy car >he now messages me every day randomly WAT DO Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:03:28 No.24359117 >> Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:03:54 No.24359120 >>24359092 (OP) Suck him off behind the lowes, it's all he wants WOJAK

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anon makes a bet | /r/Greentext

>be me, muslimfag on a plane >passenger chad says allah doesn't exist,I say he does >chad bets me $10 I cant prove it >hijack the plane by threatening the pilot with a boxcutter >fly plane around in most heavily 139 KB PNG defended airspace in the world for a while >system has never failed to intercept a flight >thanks to allah most amerifag fighter jets are away on a war games exercise >the rest don't intercept me because today they're running an exercise where planes get hijacked and flown into buildings and their radar screens are full of fake blips >amerifag vice president changed the protocol 3 months prior so he has to personally approve interceptions for the first time ever >allah allows passengers to make cell phone calls despite being 3 times higher than cell tower range and going too fast to connect >fly plane smoothly at 586mph, almost 50% faster than max speed of 400mph where the wings should start to rip off >4 generals responsible for worst defence failure in history all to be given promotions >chad still not convinced of allah's power >fly plane into tower, fuel pours down elevator shaft, gets out, enters another elevator shaft and continues down causing explosions all the way to the basement and making building collapse and disintegrate at free fall speed, setting fire to another skyscraper containing CIA and DOD offices which also collapses at free fall speed and melts steel which stays molten months after collapse, destroys indestructible black box of plane >mfw my passport flies out the window and lands face up on the sidewalk unscathed >mfw chad owes me $10
>be me, muslimfag on a plane >passenger chad says allah doesn't exist,I say he does >chad bets me $10 I cant prove it >hijack the plane by threatening the pilot with a boxcutter >fly plane around in most heavily 139 KB PNG defended airspace in the world for a while >system has never failed to intercept a flight >thanks to allah most amerifag fighter jets are away on a war games exercise >the rest don't intercept me because today they're running an exercise where planes get hijacked and flown into buildings and their radar screens are full of fake blips >amerifag vice president changed the protocol 3 months prior so he has to personally approve interceptions for the first time ever >allah allows passengers to make cell phone calls despite being 3 times higher than cell tower range and going too fast to connect >fly plane smoothly at 586mph, almost 50% faster than max speed of 400mph where the wings should start to rip off >4 generals responsible for worst defence failure in history all to be given promotions >chad still not convinced of allah's power >fly plane into tower, fuel pours down elevator shaft, gets out, enters another elevator shaft and continues down causing explosions all the way to the basement and making building collapse and disintegrate at free fall speed, setting fire to another skyscraper containing CIA and DOD offices which also collapses at free fall speed and melts steel which stays molten months after collapse, destroys indestructible black box of plane >mfw my passport flies out the window and lands face up on the sidewalk unscathed >mfw chad owes me $10

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anon drinks milk | /r/Greentext

File: buller.png (142 KB, 550x573) bruh moment Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:11:30 No.2165764 >2165771 >be me >9yo >go to grandparents' house in countryside >drink a lot of milk >happy.jpg >ff to today >remember the good old days >remember the village >remember drinking milk >suddenly remember that there were only bulls in the village >mfw Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:33:25 No.2165771 >>2165764 (OP) Based bull c-- drinker
File: buller.png (142 KB, 550x573) bruh moment Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:11:30 No.2165764 >2165771 >be me >9yo >go to grandparents' house in countryside >drink a lot of milk >happy.jpg >ff to today >remember the good old days >remember the village >remember drinking milk >suddenly remember that there were only bulls in the village >mfw Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:33:25 No.2165771 >>2165764 (OP) Based bull c-- drinker

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anon frequents r/therapyabuse | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a good person | /r/Greentext

File: 1387332734498.jpg-(6 KB, 246x205, images (6).jpg) Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)19:12:14 UTC-7 No.521945124 Replies: >>521946629 >>521946884 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving [Autism Intensifies] >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >l offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >ls about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >"Dad.?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >"Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."
File: 1387332734498.jpg-(6 KB, 246x205, images (6).jpg) Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)19:12:14 UTC-7 No.521945124 Replies: >>521946629 >>521946884 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving [Autism Intensifies] >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >l offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >ls about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >"Dad.?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >"Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."

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Anon is a weirdo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)07:01:02 No.85910167o >"fat people shouldn't be allowed to have children" >"anon w--?!" >everyone leaves I thought that was common 23 KB JPG sense
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)07:01:02 No.85910167o >"fat people shouldn't be allowed to have children" >"anon w--?!" >everyone leaves I thought that was common 23 KB JPG sense

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Anon goes to the kitchen | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to a pool party | /r/Greentext

: Ahonymous 2(Thu)15:36:28 Nó.859067348 >be me, 19 virgin >never flirted with a girl in my life >friend is throwing a pool party at his house while his parents are gone >plenty of girls going >lots of alcohol ThislsMyChance.jpeg 5 KB JPG >get there early >tons of hot girls in bikinis start arriving FucklmHard.jpeg >Enter the pool so no one notices it >as the party goes on everyone starts getting into the pool >it is really really full >people start playing a game >eventually i get pushed and pressed against a girl >i say sorry >she doesnt even notice, fully drunk laughing with her friends >ngl felt good >after a bit standing there i c-- >takes a bit, but the c-- starts to rise fuckno.jpeg >get desperate, start pushing everyone to leave the pool >go home why am i this retarded /b
: Ahonymous 2(Thu)15:36:28 Nó.859067348 >be me, 19 virgin >never flirted with a girl in my life >friend is throwing a pool party at his house while his parents are gone >plenty of girls going >lots of alcohol ThislsMyChance.jpeg 5 KB JPG >get there early >tons of hot girls in bikinis start arriving FucklmHard.jpeg >Enter the pool so no one notices it >as the party goes on everyone starts getting into the pool >it is really really full >people start playing a game >eventually i get pushed and pressed against a girl >i say sorry >she doesnt even notice, fully drunk laughing with her friends >ngl felt good >after a bit standing there i c-- >takes a bit, but the c-- starts to rise fuckno.jpeg >get desperate, start pushing everyone to leave the pool >go home why am i this retarded /b

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Anon is Asian | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: JlnsOpgC)E 04/10/17(Mon)23:24:34 No.120502157 v >>120502266 >>120503523 >>120505057 >>120505263 >>120505501 >>120505779 >>120506859 >>120507368 >>120507785 >>120508534 >>120509978 >>120498156 (OP) >*gong hit* >"man goes "yoo00oo!" >freeze frame YA DAT ME! YOU PROBRARY TINKING, "HOW HE GET HERE?!"
O Anonymous (ID: JlnsOpgC)E 04/10/17(Mon)23:24:34 No.120502157 v >>120502266 >>120503523 >>120505057 >>120505263 >>120505501 >>120505779 >>120506859 >>120507368 >>120507785 >>120508534 >>120509978 >>120498156 (OP) >*gong hit* >"man goes "yoo00oo!" >freeze frame YA DAT ME! YOU PROBRARY TINKING, "HOW HE GET HERE?!"

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Anon hopes reincarnation isn't real | /r/Greentext

>There are people paid to f--- >There are people paid to write amazing stories >There are people paid to act >There are people paid to draw >There are people paid to market fun things >There are people paid to design grand projects that will change the world 166 KB JPG >There are people paid to do what they love >Then..there's you, Anon >Stuck in a dead-end job >Hating every second >You aren't talented enough >You aren't good looking >You aren't smart enough >You aren't fit enough >You are nothing but a wage slave >You will work >You will die >Here's to hoping reincarnation isn't real
>There are people paid to f--- >There are people paid to write amazing stories >There are people paid to act >There are people paid to draw >There are people paid to market fun things >There are people paid to design grand projects that will change the world 166 KB JPG >There are people paid to do what they love >Then..there's you, Anon >Stuck in a dead-end job >Hating every second >You aren't talented enough >You aren't good looking >You aren't smart enough >You aren't fit enough >You are nothing but a wage slave >You will work >You will die >Here's to hoping reincarnation isn't real

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Far East of Eden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)03:49:33 No.64574580 >be virgin NEET >Decide to get a job >Meet qt asian girl that just moved from a different state >We end up talking everyday >Always tells me she despises this job 87 KB JPG >She tells she has a bf she lives with >Don't care, we continue talking >she Starts asking me questions like "do you think I'm weird?" And "do you wanna go to Germany with me?" >She asks me to come work with her closer to her location >Tell her no because she lives too far >One day boss has a cookout >She asks me if I'm going >I say yes >We meet up at the cookout >She is acting very distant the entire time >Tells she doesn't feel like talking to anyone at the cookout >She ends up saying goodbye to me and leaving >Quits her job and tells no one >Text her asking if she quit her job >No response after a week >Tells me she quit and to keep in touch >Grew some balls and ended up texting her to hangout >She agrees >Drive an hour away to hangout with our dogs at dog park >She reveals to me that another coworkers asked her out after she left the job >She tells me she rejected both of them because she has a bf >Tells me I'm the only one that thinks of her as friend and that l'm her only friend >mfw I was trying to f--- the entire time >"Date" is over she gives me a hug and leaves >Tell her to keep in touch >Still hasn't said a single word to me since then Is it over?
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)03:49:33 No.64574580 >be virgin NEET >Decide to get a job >Meet qt asian girl that just moved from a different state >We end up talking everyday >Always tells me she despises this job 87 KB JPG >She tells she has a bf she lives with >Don't care, we continue talking >she Starts asking me questions like "do you think I'm weird?" And "do you wanna go to Germany with me?" >She asks me to come work with her closer to her location >Tell her no because she lives too far >One day boss has a cookout >She asks me if I'm going >I say yes >We meet up at the cookout >She is acting very distant the entire time >Tells she doesn't feel like talking to anyone at the cookout >She ends up saying goodbye to me and leaving >Quits her job and tells no one >Text her asking if she quit her job >No response after a week >Tells me she quit and to keep in touch >Grew some balls and ended up texting her to hangout >She agrees >Drive an hour away to hangout with our dogs at dog park >She reveals to me that another coworkers asked her out after she left the job >She tells me she rejected both of them because she has a bf >Tells me I'm the only one that thinks of her as friend and that l'm her only friend >mfw I was trying to f--- the entire time >"Date" is over she gives me a hug and leaves >Tell her to keep in touch >Still hasn't said a single word to me since then Is it over?

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Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)06:55:42 No.859101533 2. E 12 Awards Jobn't 4 2.8k 3 FFDBC823-AA78-49CF-97F5-21AFCC78FFE2.jpg 52 KB JPG >oh boy time to buy gold to tell a fellow Redditor that he did a goodthink
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)06:55:42 No.859101533 2. E 12 Awards Jobn't 4 2.8k 3 FFDBC823-AA78-49CF-97F5-21AFCC78FFE2.jpg 52 KB JPG >oh boy time to buy gold to tell a fellow Redditor that he did a goodthink

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Melanianon becomes first lady | /r/Greentext

File: First lady.jpg (30 KB, 348x527) O Anonymous (ID: BLETK53W 01/20/17(Fri)12:59:42 No.108047628 [Reply] >be me >literal gold digger >just want a nice life without having to work >marry rich guy just for the cash >he's upset with the state of the country >decides to run for president >yeahright.jpeg >he starts doing well >mfw he actually gets elected >mfw I'm the first lady of the United states of America
File: First lady.jpg (30 KB, 348x527) O Anonymous (ID: BLETK53W 01/20/17(Fri)12:59:42 No.108047628 [Reply] >be me >literal gold digger >just want a nice life without having to work >marry rich guy just for the cash >he's upset with the state of the country >decides to run for president >yeahright.jpeg >he starts doing well >mfw he actually gets elected >mfw I'm the first lady of the United states of America

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