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anon is not taking the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7fjyJcNk ) O 07/06/21(Tue)18:07:35 No.329022528 >>329020999 (OP) # >door bell rings *muffled noises* >slowly lift my flabs from the table, returning all my body parts into full weight mode >the smell of 14 month old piss 59 KB JPG bottles, pizza boxes, c-- socks, tendie boxes and used tissues fill the air >make my way to the door, trying not to step into the foodrot puddles that have gathered on the floor >look through the door spyhole "Hello? Excuse me anon, this is Pam with the US Vaccine Bureau. Our records show you still have not gotten the COVID-19 vaccination. Are you available to come to the door for a moment?" >"No." >walk away from the door, back to the neet machine
: Anonymous (ID: 7fjyJcNk ) O 07/06/21(Tue)18:07:35 No.329022528 >>329020999 (OP) # >door bell rings *muffled noises* >slowly lift my flabs from the table, returning all my body parts into full weight mode >the smell of 14 month old piss 59 KB JPG bottles, pizza boxes, c-- socks, tendie boxes and used tissues fill the air >make my way to the door, trying not to step into the foodrot puddles that have gathered on the floor >look through the door spyhole "Hello? Excuse me anon, this is Pam with the US Vaccine Bureau. Our records show you still have not gotten the COVID-19 vaccination. Are you available to come to the door for a moment?" >"No." >walk away from the door, back to the neet machine

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Anon passed it off as an ugly rumour | /r/Greentext

>be me >high school >there's this autistic tard called raffi (we're talking full blown rain man s--- here) who does nothing but walk around quoting s--- from TV commercials and game shows >people say he's been caught masturbating in the washrooms several times, but i always passed it off as an ugly rumour >i'm on spare, helping out in the tard department for some extra curricular >they have a private bathroom in the tard department >i think i'm alone >nope >bathroom door opens >rain man comes out with his pants around his ankles and a vacant thousand yard stare on his face >one hand is twisted into some weird shape that looks like he's trying to air guitar one of the most difficult chords ever played by jimi hendrix >other hand is jerking his c--- furiously "SUUUUUPERMARKET SWEEEEEP!" "supermarket.." "TIP TOP TAILORS!!!" "THIS... IS... JEOPARDY!" >i start yelling for the teachers aides "Um... help! Raffi! Penis!" >teachers aide comes out from another room >ushers him into the bathroom and shuts the door >my f------ heart >my f------ BRAIN >my f------ sides
>be me >high school >there's this autistic tard called raffi (we're talking full blown rain man s--- here) who does nothing but walk around quoting s--- from TV commercials and game shows >people say he's been caught masturbating in the washrooms several times, but i always passed it off as an ugly rumour >i'm on spare, helping out in the tard department for some extra curricular >they have a private bathroom in the tard department >i think i'm alone >nope >bathroom door opens >rain man comes out with his pants around his ankles and a vacant thousand yard stare on his face >one hand is twisted into some weird shape that looks like he's trying to air guitar one of the most difficult chords ever played by jimi hendrix >other hand is jerking his c--- furiously "SUUUUUPERMARKET SWEEEEEP!" "supermarket.." "TIP TOP TAILORS!!!" "THIS... IS... JEOPARDY!" >i start yelling for the teachers aides "Um... help! Raffi! Penis!" >teachers aide comes out from another room >ushers him into the bathroom and shuts the door >my f------ heart >my f------ BRAIN >my f------ sides

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Anon finds dead deer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)11:30:03 No.47607921 Scaring childhood event thread. I'll go first: >be me >13 years ago >6th grade >on my way home from school 6 KB JPG >see dead deer on the side of the road >deer has extremely bloated stomach >want to know what's inside >get an idea on how to open it >jump on the deer >it erupts and spews rancid deer guts all over my body >it gets in my mouth and eyes causing me to vomit >l walk the rest of the way home >my mom has to rinse me off with the garden hose I sill can't eat any kind of fish without throwing up because it's reminiscent of the smell
: Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)11:30:03 No.47607921 Scaring childhood event thread. I'll go first: >be me >13 years ago >6th grade >on my way home from school 6 KB JPG >see dead deer on the side of the road >deer has extremely bloated stomach >want to know what's inside >get an idea on how to open it >jump on the deer >it erupts and spews rancid deer guts all over my body >it gets in my mouth and eyes causing me to vomit >l walk the rest of the way home >my mom has to rinse me off with the garden hose I sill can't eat any kind of fish without throwing up because it's reminiscent of the smell

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Anon wish he was a kid again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)03:07:06 No.64454074 >be me 10 years ago >download some random mmorpg >never bother with doing quests or killing mobs >run around to the different areas of the world map just to explore and see cool places >sub Ivl 10 in endgame areas, die plenty of times >can just walk back to my corpse, revive and continue exploring because it was a f2p wowclone >eventually I reach the enemy faction capital >sneak around to places >having fun just by looking at the cool locations everywhere I wish I was a kid again
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)03:07:06 No.64454074 >be me 10 years ago >download some random mmorpg >never bother with doing quests or killing mobs >run around to the different areas of the world map just to explore and see cool places >sub Ivl 10 in endgame areas, die plenty of times >can just walk back to my corpse, revive and continue exploring because it was a f2p wowclone >eventually I reach the enemy faction capital >sneak around to places >having fun just by looking at the cool locations everywhere I wish I was a kid again

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Anon recommends the indian pill | /r/Greentext

File: 47186985352_8239c13190_0.jpg (705 KB, 1367x1907) Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:06:54 No.64578760 >traditional family values >virgin until marriage >marries for life >loyal >knows how to cook >takes care of family >respects her husband >does not drink or smoke >usually doctors and engineers >normies find them ugly Why haven't you taken the Indian Pill yet?
File: 47186985352_8239c13190_0.jpg (705 KB, 1367x1907) Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:06:54 No.64578760 >traditional family values >virgin until marriage >marries for life >loyal >knows how to cook >takes care of family >respects her husband >does not drink or smoke >usually doctors and engineers >normies find them ugly Why haven't you taken the Indian Pill yet?

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ancient evil becomes the new moral compass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/17(Tue)13:33:16 No.52416332 >ancient evil awakens >morals and ethics have changed so much in the last 10,000 years that the ancient evil is considered pretty moderate by todays standards. >>52424597 #
: Anonymous 03/28/17(Tue)13:33:16 No.52416332 >ancient evil awakens >morals and ethics have changed so much in the last 10,000 years that the ancient evil is considered pretty moderate by todays standards. >>52424597 #

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Anon Has Ascended | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)09:17:04 No.18637368 I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING LATELY, 1625168661842.jpg 17 KB JPG >read Plato >suddenly get hidden messages from the platonic forms, shapes and colors >the circle is simple, the line is emotional, triangles smart, squares ethical, and stars are happy, >green is annoyed, yellow is giddy, blue is calm, red protects them i think i may be developing schizophrenia
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)09:17:04 No.18637368 I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING LATELY, 1625168661842.jpg 17 KB JPG >read Plato >suddenly get hidden messages from the platonic forms, shapes and colors >the circle is simple, the line is emotional, triangles smart, squares ethical, and stars are happy, >green is annoyed, yellow is giddy, blue is calm, red protects them i think i may be developing schizophrenia

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Anon is greek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /Med/ pill 09/14/20(Mon)19:34:07 No.57439572 >read the Illiad and the odyssey Greeks were polytheistic and believed that the gods were immortal, but also that they had human qualities; religion became the basis for Greek mythology >decide to try living like the ancient Zea the Greeks Goddes et wd Sedteof ove tate Gadfsmas >start eating lots of lamb, vegetables, olive oil, garlic, fish >ready only Ancient Greek/Roman/Mediterranean Gof ww Cotof unterwoe Gobufany 158 KB JPG literature and philosophy >sun my balls every day >start training more compounds, especially Olympic lifts >start growing a beard >listen to meditterranean music >drink only cheap red wine >refer to myself in the 3rd person as “zorba" >lifts skyrocket >interest from women skyrockets H-------- guys why didn't you tell me this was the key to happiness
: Anonymous /Med/ pill 09/14/20(Mon)19:34:07 No.57439572 >read the Illiad and the odyssey Greeks were polytheistic and believed that the gods were immortal, but also that they had human qualities; religion became the basis for Greek mythology >decide to try living like the ancient Zea the Greeks Goddes et wd Sedteof ove tate Gadfsmas >start eating lots of lamb, vegetables, olive oil, garlic, fish >ready only Ancient Greek/Roman/Mediterranean Gof ww Cotof unterwoe Gobufany 158 KB JPG literature and philosophy >sun my balls every day >start training more compounds, especially Olympic lifts >start growing a beard >listen to meditterranean music >drink only cheap red wine >refer to myself in the 3rd person as “zorba" >lifts skyrocket >interest from women skyrockets H-------- guys why didn't you tell me this was the key to happiness

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Anon receives chocolate | /r/Greentext

File: 1626046407352.jpg (14 KB, 222x227) O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)21:39:02 No.64581051 [Reply] >>64581064 >be me >go to the store >buy choclates >"the whole box?" ask the cashier >"the whole box" I reply >spend the day gifting chocolate to strangers >no new friends yet but I feel I'm a step closer to make a friend How whas your day? O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)21:40:34 No.64581064 File: E8C7E2B2-662B-49E7-B78D-7(...).png (228 KB, 600x600) >>64581051 (OP) Some stranger gave me some chocolate Pretty good day
File: 1626046407352.jpg (14 KB, 222x227) O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)21:39:02 No.64581051 [Reply] >>64581064 >be me >go to the store >buy choclates >"the whole box?" ask the cashier >"the whole box" I reply >spend the day gifting chocolate to strangers >no new friends yet but I feel I'm a step closer to make a friend How whas your day? O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)21:40:34 No.64581064 File: E8C7E2B2-662B-49E7-B78D-7(...).png (228 KB, 600x600) >>64581051 (OP) Some stranger gave me some chocolate Pretty good day

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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)11:13:48 No.859050236 [Reply] >>859051707 >Incredibly hot girl invites me to her home >she wants to play Uno >midgame we start flirting >make a bet with her, first to say Uno makes the other get naked >im the first, so she gets naked >but she plays a +4 and we continue playing >we start kissing >she takes my clothes off and gives me a bj >we f--- >she asks for me to f--- her ass wow.jpeg >best sex of my life with the hottest girl ever >few min with us just laying there completely exhausted >we eventually get up and go back to our Uno match >she plays Uno reverse card >im in shock >i say there is no way >she says Uno >Last card is in her hands >its another reverse card >she plays it >im in total disbelief MFW she gets a strap-on and says "reverse card anon, you f----- my ass, now i f--- yours"
Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)11:13:48 No.859050236 [Reply] >>859051707 >Incredibly hot girl invites me to her home >she wants to play Uno >midgame we start flirting >make a bet with her, first to say Uno makes the other get naked >im the first, so she gets naked >but she plays a +4 and we continue playing >we start kissing >she takes my clothes off and gives me a bj >we f--- >she asks for me to f--- her ass wow.jpeg >best sex of my life with the hottest girl ever >few min with us just laying there completely exhausted >we eventually get up and go back to our Uno match >she plays Uno reverse card >im in shock >i say there is no way >she says Uno >Last card is in her hands >its another reverse card >she plays it >im in total disbelief MFW she gets a strap-on and says "reverse card anon, you f----- my ass, now i f--- yours"

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

File: panic.png (67 KB, 646x595) f------ flatmate Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:37:22 No.64575141 [ >be me >hate flatmate >she's disgusting >but too anxious to talk with her so l'm just passive aggressive >one night >see her sleeping in her room >decide to go in and watch >distgustedlook.jpg >f------ hate her so much >suddenly urge overcomes me >spit on her head >feelinggood.jpg >next night >decide to do it again >becomes a habit >every time she does somethingI don't like, go to her room at night and spit on her >today >same procedure as almost every night >spit on her >she opens her eyes >stares at me >blank stare >scared af >run out of her room and lock into our bathroom >pic rel help it's been 9 hours and I'm still in our bathroom she tried to talk to me, but I don't know about what, just ignored it she won't leave and is probably currently studying in our living room
File: panic.png (67 KB, 646x595) f------ flatmate Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)14:37:22 No.64575141 [ >be me >hate flatmate >she's disgusting >but too anxious to talk with her so l'm just passive aggressive >one night >see her sleeping in her room >decide to go in and watch >distgustedlook.jpg >f------ hate her so much >suddenly urge overcomes me >spit on her head >feelinggood.jpg >next night >decide to do it again >becomes a habit >every time she does somethingI don't like, go to her room at night and spit on her >today >same procedure as almost every night >spit on her >she opens her eyes >stares at me >blank stare >scared af >run out of her room and lock into our bathroom >pic rel help it's been 9 hours and I'm still in our bathroom she tried to talk to me, but I don't know about what, just ignored it she won't leave and is probably currently studying in our living room

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Open your heart | /r/Greentext

File: bd8.png (270 KB, 1190x906) U A PT took advantage of my disabled brother Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:19:54 No.62578151 >>62578161 >>62578172 >>62578283 >>62578505 >>62579344 >>62579348 >>62579709 >>62579730 >>62579751 >>62579973 >>62580127 >>62580128 >>62580153 >>62581154 >>62581482 >>62581542 >>62581618 LEAST INTELIGENT COMMENT OF ALL TIME >at gym with little brother >He's 20 but had heart surgery as a kit so he's 5' tall and fully grown >No confidence, very skinny, bleached blonde hair as an Asian because our sister likes to bully him by styling his hair >Has no friends offline >Try to get him into lifting >in a mostly Chinese gym and he's doing curls with embarrassingly low weight >Big Bert, one of the strongest guys in the gym, it watching us >Wanders over >"Hi, you kids speak English" >"I'm 20, not a kid" >"Oh, sorry. It's just you're doing a bunch of accessories but no main lifts, do you want some personal training" >"It's fine, I'm training him" >"Look, anon you're a big guy, for you, but training someone else is different, and l've trained a lot of people who look just like your brother" >"Really?" >"Yeah, I'm a PE teacher at a middle and high school, oh no offense buddy, but I've taken kids who look like you and made then athletes" >Brings out his phone and has a bunch of before and after pictures >Offers to train him for free if he can use his before and after pictures >brother agrees >Puts his arm around my brother and drags him into the posing room >Follow >He makes my.brothwr take off his t-shirt and shorts >He's wearing the most pathetic faded red briefs he's had since he was in middle school because I told him to wear old clothes >His face is the same red with embarrassment >He hates people seeing his heart surgery scar >Over the next 3 months he coaches my brother and he gets more confident >Never seen him so happy >Starts spending more time with Bert outside the gym O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:21:09 No.62578161 >>62578182 >>62578184 >>62578472 >>62579344 >>62579657 >>62579730 >>62579751 >>62579768 >>62579798 >>62580128 >>62580923 >>62581154 >>62581482 >>62581618 >>62581695 >>62578151 (OP) # >We go to the pool one day and he wears a speedo, he looks lean and tight like an athletic kid >Haven't seen him swim in less than baggy shorts and t-shirt for years >Showers at the pool, something he's never done since he was 12 and kids bullied him about his tiny d--- which was still tiny but he was suddenly not concerned with it >Starts walking around shirtless or in his underwear >Starts buying new clothes, find out Bert's been helping him dress better >Six months in he says he's going away for a few days to the beach with a friend >Bert turns up in a Corvette >Good to see then getting along >My brother kisses Bert Oh f--- how did I not see this earlier, this was yesterday and l'm upset This is why you never hire a PT, big Bert is named for his huge c--- in the locker room btw he's barely 5'10" I could totally mog him if I worked out as much as him
File: bd8.png (270 KB, 1190x906) U A PT took advantage of my disabled brother Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:19:54 No.62578151 >>62578161 >>62578172 >>62578283 >>62578505 >>62579344 >>62579348 >>62579709 >>62579730 >>62579751 >>62579973 >>62580127 >>62580128 >>62580153 >>62581154 >>62581482 >>62581542 >>62581618 LEAST INTELIGENT COMMENT OF ALL TIME >at gym with little brother >He's 20 but had heart surgery as a kit so he's 5' tall and fully grown >No confidence, very skinny, bleached blonde hair as an Asian because our sister likes to bully him by styling his hair >Has no friends offline >Try to get him into lifting >in a mostly Chinese gym and he's doing curls with embarrassingly low weight >Big Bert, one of the strongest guys in the gym, it watching us >Wanders over >"Hi, you kids speak English" >"I'm 20, not a kid" >"Oh, sorry. It's just you're doing a bunch of accessories but no main lifts, do you want some personal training" >"It's fine, I'm training him" >"Look, anon you're a big guy, for you, but training someone else is different, and l've trained a lot of people who look just like your brother" >"Really?" >"Yeah, I'm a PE teacher at a middle and high school, oh no offense buddy, but I've taken kids who look like you and made then athletes" >Brings out his phone and has a bunch of before and after pictures >Offers to train him for free if he can use his before and after pictures >brother agrees >Puts his arm around my brother and drags him into the posing room >Follow >He makes my.brothwr take off his t-shirt and shorts >He's wearing the most pathetic faded red briefs he's had since he was in middle school because I told him to wear old clothes >His face is the same red with embarrassment >He hates people seeing his heart surgery scar >Over the next 3 months he coaches my brother and he gets more confident >Never seen him so happy >Starts spending more time with Bert outside the gym O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:21:09 No.62578161 >>62578182 >>62578184 >>62578472 >>62579344 >>62579657 >>62579730 >>62579751 >>62579768 >>62579798 >>62580128 >>62580923 >>62581154 >>62581482 >>62581618 >>62581695 >>62578151 (OP) # >We go to the pool one day and he wears a speedo, he looks lean and tight like an athletic kid >Haven't seen him swim in less than baggy shorts and t-shirt for years >Showers at the pool, something he's never done since he was 12 and kids bullied him about his tiny d--- which was still tiny but he was suddenly not concerned with it >Starts walking around shirtless or in his underwear >Starts buying new clothes, find out Bert's been helping him dress better >Six months in he says he's going away for a few days to the beach with a friend >Bert turns up in a Corvette >Good to see then getting along >My brother kisses Bert Oh f--- how did I not see this earlier, this was yesterday and l'm upset This is why you never hire a PT, big Bert is named for his huge c--- in the locker room btw he's barely 5'10" I could totally mog him if I worked out as much as him

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anon works at a drive thru | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)08:01:30 No.859045093 >be me >working at restaurant drive-thru, 1 hour til shift ends >customer pulls up, asks for boba tea >impulsively say "boba deez nuts" >realize what I have done >prepare for my demise
O Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)08:01:30 No.859045093 >be me >working at restaurant drive-thru, 1 hour til shift ends >customer pulls up, asks for boba tea >impulsively say "boba deez nuts" >realize what I have done >prepare for my demise

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Anon’s been sharing secrets | /r/Greentext

Airplanes. >walk into hallway leading to plane >take a sit >"take off" >wait some time >magically "land" in a "different place" 53 KB JPG How can you retards fall for this s---? Those windows are clearly screens with CGI to make you think you actually went somewhere else.
Airplanes. >walk into hallway leading to plane >take a sit >"take off" >wait some time >magically "land" in a "different place" 53 KB JPG How can you retards fall for this s---? Those windows are clearly screens with CGI to make you think you actually went somewhere else.

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Anon found booger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Booger Time 07/15/21(Thu)09:07:03 No.9788184 >be me >at day job in my cubicle >privacy.jpg >open 4chan on phone so IT can't see me >wait I am IT 39 KB JPG >dumb.mov >reading and picking nose >find GIGANTIC booger >this dude is putting up a fight >pull it out >oh yes.png >feels amazing >flick it. It goes way up to the ceiling and falls down to the ground >no worries.json >coworker yells >gets everyone's attention >oh no >everyone runs out and they evacuate >they thought it was a small roach >company spends thousands to fumigate and let's everyone work from home >week goes by >back in cubicle >another large booger >what do?
: Anonymous Booger Time 07/15/21(Thu)09:07:03 No.9788184 >be me >at day job in my cubicle >privacy.jpg >open 4chan on phone so IT can't see me >wait I am IT 39 KB JPG >dumb.mov >reading and picking nose >find GIGANTIC booger >this dude is putting up a fight >pull it out >oh yes.png >feels amazing >flick it. It goes way up to the ceiling and falls down to the ground >no worries.json >coworker yells >gets everyone's attention >oh no >everyone runs out and they evacuate >they thought it was a small roach >company spends thousands to fumigate and let's everyone work from home >week goes by >back in cubicle >another large booger >what do?

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Anon gets a letter | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)12:02:45 No.64576202 File: Honey-Nut-Cheerios_large.jpg (21 KB, 300x395) This just happened this morning Honey Nut Cheerios >Wake up >Having my breakfast >Ready to attack the day >Hear that postman's put something in my mailbox >Go to check it out >It's a large envelope addressed to me >Go back inside and open it >It's literally just the front of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios i'm scared bros. Why would someone send this to me.
>> Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)12:02:45 No.64576202 File: Honey-Nut-Cheerios_large.jpg (21 KB, 300x395) This just happened this morning Honey Nut Cheerios >Wake up >Having my breakfast >Ready to attack the day >Hear that postman's put something in my mailbox >Go to check it out >It's a large envelope addressed to me >Go back inside and open it >It's literally just the front of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios i'm scared bros. Why would someone send this to me.

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Anon sells out his grandfather | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 1ZOHXFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Re >Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun > Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile > Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile > He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >Igo to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun > Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago.
Anonymous (ID: 1ZOHXFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Re >Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun > Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile > Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile > He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >Igo to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun > Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago.

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Not the ending I expected ಠ_ಠ | /r/Greentext

File: 03eadab3f3d8cc943f8ac7319(..).jpg (47 KB, 700x591) O Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:54:46 No.859002996 >be me, 27, eternal virgin, social outcast >contemplate suicde >therapist tells me to get a dog >get a female golden retriever puppy >play with puppy, train puppy, get emotionally attached to dog >dog grows older, life is good >dog sleeps in my bed, we cuddle >sudden relization im basically in a relationship with my dog >begin to touch her private parts >dog takes a linking to it >end up f------ my dog >no longer suicidal >tell people online about it >get told to kill myself >sad degenerate noises
File: 03eadab3f3d8cc943f8ac7319(..).jpg (47 KB, 700x591) O Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:54:46 No.859002996 >be me, 27, eternal virgin, social outcast >contemplate suicde >therapist tells me to get a dog >get a female golden retriever puppy >play with puppy, train puppy, get emotionally attached to dog >dog grows older, life is good >dog sleeps in my bed, we cuddle >sudden relization im basically in a relationship with my dog >begin to touch her private parts >dog takes a linking to it >end up f------ my dog >no longer suicidal >tell people online about it >get told to kill myself >sad degenerate noises

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Its not green, its crosspost, but there is a plot twist in responses at r/Finland | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/19(Thu)07:01:48 No.52191467 >>52189174 (OP) # In Finland we have this one sauna game called "Gollum" In Gollum one person goes under the sauna bench while other players sit on top of it. 29 KB JPG Then the Gollum proceeds to put his finger in someone's a------ and the other players who are sitting has to guess who has a finger up in their a------. Whoever guesses right, gets to be the next Gollum. >>52191478 # >>52191524 #
: Anonymous 08/29/19(Thu)07:01:48 No.52191467 >>52189174 (OP) # In Finland we have this one sauna game called "Gollum" In Gollum one person goes under the sauna bench while other players sit on top of it. 29 KB JPG Then the Gollum proceeds to put his finger in someone's a------ and the other players who are sitting has to guess who has a finger up in their a------. Whoever guesses right, gets to be the next Gollum. >>52191478 # >>52191524 #

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Anon has daddy issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)13:23:40 No.64575859 >go to bed in nothing but chastity Bruh zone cage Bruh >mom must of seen it by accident while I was sleeping >"we need to talk about something I saw last night" What am I in for jesus christ Bruh 97 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)13:23:40 No.64575859 >go to bed in nothing but chastity Bruh zone cage Bruh >mom must of seen it by accident while I was sleeping >"we need to talk about something I saw last night" What am I in for jesus christ Bruh 97 KB JPG

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