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Anon’s girlfriend is: damn based. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/23 (Sat)07:31:55 No.908035756 >In car with girlfriend. >She's driving. >Idiot driver in front of us. >Stop behind them at a MY N---- light. 38 KB JPG woman too." >Girlfriend looks at them. >Says "of course it's a H-------- my girlfriend is based as f---.
: Anonymous 10/21/23 (Sat)07:31:55 No.908035756 >In car with girlfriend. >She's driving. >Idiot driver in front of us. >Stop behind them at a MY N---- light. 38 KB JPG woman too." >Girlfriend looks at them. >Says "of course it's a H-------- my girlfriend is based as f---.

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Anons a bad person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous story from highschool lol 88 KB JPG 10/27/22(Thu)12:17:28 No.70753277 >girl named Abby >known for being just a classic, furry, harry potter horse girl, and an actual autist >embarrassed herself constantly >was already made fun of 24/7 and had to sit in classrooms at lunch >not a single friend >always seemed happy despite this >like a retarded puppy or something >would always greet me and be genuinely happy to see me even though i made fun of her too >started handing out cards that were like friend dating profiles one day >said something to the effect of >"hello! if you've received this card its because you are cool. id love to get to know you and be your friend!" with a photo of her smiling and doing the thumbs up in a yellow sundress >clear her mom or someone had helped her make them or some s--- >get handed one >thank her >get her wattsapp >message her and act like her pal for a week >tell her im coming over with (names) and that we're bringing food and alcohol >gonna show her what a real good time looks like >she orders pizza for all 8 of us >sends photos of her with 4 large pizzas >i reply with a video of me with the people i said were coming to her around a campfire >throwing in all the cards i was able to scrounge together and laughing To this day, 6 years later I do not have a single regret. Me and my boys STILL laugh about it
: Anonymous story from highschool lol 88 KB JPG 10/27/22(Thu)12:17:28 No.70753277 >girl named Abby >known for being just a classic, furry, harry potter horse girl, and an actual autist >embarrassed herself constantly >was already made fun of 24/7 and had to sit in classrooms at lunch >not a single friend >always seemed happy despite this >like a retarded puppy or something >would always greet me and be genuinely happy to see me even though i made fun of her too >started handing out cards that were like friend dating profiles one day >said something to the effect of >"hello! if you've received this card its because you are cool. id love to get to know you and be your friend!" with a photo of her smiling and doing the thumbs up in a yellow sundress >clear her mom or someone had helped her make them or some s--- >get handed one >thank her >get her wattsapp >message her and act like her pal for a week >tell her im coming over with (names) and that we're bringing food and alcohol >gonna show her what a real good time looks like >she orders pizza for all 8 of us >sends photos of her with 4 large pizzas >i reply with a video of me with the people i said were coming to her around a campfire >throwing in all the cards i was able to scrounge together and laughing To this day, 6 years later I do not have a single regret. Me and my boys STILL laugh about it

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Anon writes for Dead Meat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)09:22:41 No.654768470 1664612635984696.png 245 KB PNG >Guy gets bisected by piano wire >"HOLY F------ S--- THAT WAS AWESOME, GOLDEN CHAINSAW FOR SURE!!" >Camera zooms in on girl's ass >"yeeeah... this movie didn't age too well. Hey, any film- makers watching? Maybe... don't?"
: Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)09:22:41 No.654768470 1664612635984696.png 245 KB PNG >Guy gets bisected by piano wire >"HOLY F------ S--- THAT WAS AWESOME, GOLDEN CHAINSAW FOR SURE!!" >Camera zooms in on girl's ass >"yeeeah... this movie didn't age too well. Hey, any film- makers watching? Maybe... don't?"

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Spicy take | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DUO 50 KB JPG 10/25/21 (Mon)03:22:07 No.158184612 >its the year 10138 or whatever >people have massive space ships, laser, shielding technology and yuge bombs >armies fight with swords and knives H-------- what a dumb p------------, literally did a 360 and walked out of the movie theater
: Anonymous DUO 50 KB JPG 10/25/21 (Mon)03:22:07 No.158184612 >its the year 10138 or whatever >people have massive space ships, laser, shielding technology and yuge bombs >armies fight with swords and knives H-------- what a dumb p------------, literally did a 360 and walked out of the movie theater

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Anon orders pizza. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 117 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)17:28:21 No.75137048 >Be me >Order pizza for the 4th time this month >Delivery guy arrives, looking kinda tired >Hand over the cash for the pizza >He gives me the "I've seen things, man" look >"You know, I've delivered to you like 10 times, and you've never tipped me." >"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll make it up next time." >He squints at me suspiciously >MFW I realize I've been saying "next time" for the past two years
: Anonymous 117 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)17:28:21 No.75137048 >Be me >Order pizza for the 4th time this month >Delivery guy arrives, looking kinda tired >Hand over the cash for the pizza >He gives me the "I've seen things, man" look >"You know, I've delivered to you like 10 times, and you've never tipped me." >"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll make it up next time." >He squints at me suspiciously >MFW I realize I've been saying "next time" for the past two years

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Anon likes Evangelium | /r/Greentext

>be me >29 >on the phone w/ married friend >start talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion >friend's wife thinks we're talking about other women other than her For context: this bitch has unironically accused my friend of trying to f--- his own mother. >friend and I start trolling her >start making some s--- up about a woman named "Ava Gelion" 27 KB JPG >she googles "Ava Gelion" >sees a picture of EVA Unit 01 >epic_latina_shit-fit.exe >she starts calling me a "pathetic loser" with a "microscopic penis" >tell her "yeah I know" and laugh at how angry she is about 2D women
>be me >29 >on the phone w/ married friend >start talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion >friend's wife thinks we're talking about other women other than her For context: this bitch has unironically accused my friend of trying to f--- his own mother. >friend and I start trolling her >start making some s--- up about a woman named "Ava Gelion" 27 KB JPG >she googles "Ava Gelion" >sees a picture of EVA Unit 01 >epic_latina_shit-fit.exe >she starts calling me a "pathetic loser" with a "microscopic penis" >tell her "yeah I know" and laugh at how angry she is about 2D women

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Anon lives in interesting times | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_7106.jpg (10 KB, 259x194) Anonymous (ID: HXe1LOLY C 10/20/23(Fri)21:40:21 No.445723716 >>445723801 >>445724068 >>445724116 >>445725267 >>445725519 Be me, be born in the 90s >9/11 happens next NEXT >UKRAINE WAR >iraq afghanistan war next >more war next >terrorists suddenly everywhere next >terrorists suddenly gone, finally do we get a break? NOPE NEXT >Coronavirus next >Economy f----- NEXT >ISRAEL WAR I'm so f------ tired bros. Do we 90s kids get a f------ break???? Can we have a f------ moment where nothing happens?
File: IMG_7106.jpg (10 KB, 259x194) Anonymous (ID: HXe1LOLY C 10/20/23(Fri)21:40:21 No.445723716 >>445723801 >>445724068 >>445724116 >>445725267 >>445725519 Be me, be born in the 90s >9/11 happens next NEXT >UKRAINE WAR >iraq afghanistan war next >more war next >terrorists suddenly everywhere next >terrorists suddenly gone, finally do we get a break? NOPE NEXT >Coronavirus next >Economy f----- NEXT >ISRAEL WAR I'm so f------ tired bros. Do we 90s kids get a f------ break???? Can we have a f------ moment where nothing happens?

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Anon visits the holodeck | /r/Greentext

View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO Trace realholodeck-head.jpg, 162KiB, 777x437 Anonymous Mon 28 Jan 2019 17:27:47 No.109156589 Report Quoted By: >>109156721 >>109156880 >Computer, create a 20th century shopping mall with a decent amount of people in it. >Have them walking around, visiting different stores, buying items, eating at the food court, all of them happy and content with their lives. >Give me a wallet with $300 and a credit card. >Lastly, have music from the vaporwave genre playing throughout the mall. >And have the safety on.
View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO Trace realholodeck-head.jpg, 162KiB, 777x437 Anonymous Mon 28 Jan 2019 17:27:47 No.109156589 Report Quoted By: >>109156721 >>109156880 >Computer, create a 20th century shopping mall with a decent amount of people in it. >Have them walking around, visiting different stores, buying items, eating at the food court, all of them happy and content with their lives. >Give me a wallet with $300 and a credit card. >Lastly, have music from the vaporwave genre playing throughout the mall. >And have the safety on.

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anon has a type | /r/Greentext

1676395232638787.jpg 36 KB JPG >you're coming home soon right? I have dinner made >I love you >hey sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to hear your voice >can you pick up these ingredients from the store for me? >stop teasing me so much >when you talk with strangers it makes me jealous >your mom is so nice to me >I love you >I don't know what I would do without you >I don't know how to act around you >when we hold hands it feels like our hands melt together >I can't imagine heaven would be much better than this
1676395232638787.jpg 36 KB JPG >you're coming home soon right? I have dinner made >I love you >hey sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to hear your voice >can you pick up these ingredients from the store for me? >stop teasing me so much >when you talk with strangers it makes me jealous >your mom is so nice to me >I love you >I don't know what I would do without you >I don't know how to act around you >when we hold hands it feels like our hands melt together >I can't imagine heaven would be much better than this

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Anon sends a text to female | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)19:38:00 No.907995672 >>907996324 >>907997045 >>907997257 >>907997835 >>907998058 >>907998413 >>907998729 >>907999216 >>907999677 >>908000202 >>908000578 >>908000629 >>908000777 >>908001009 >>908001679 >>908002051 >>908002322 >>908002509 >>908003258 >>908003371 >>908003714 >>907995620 >be me >live in hollywood (america, land of the free) >high class prostitute >have lots of celebrity clients >they are all degenerates >but they pay me enough so it's worth it >one day get a telephone call from unknown number >a female proposes me an idea >hmm interesting >put the plans into motion >meet up with regular rich celebrity dude >he f---- me in my big ass >pulls out and shoves it down my throat >screams out his movie catch phrase as he c--- >my hole dries up as the words leave his lips >he pays me >leaves >send a text to female >me start coughing up and regurgitating his semen from my throat >spit it out into a bowl >she comes to the room >h-------- her face is even worse than the pic she sent me >trade her the bowl for cash >she leaves >fast forward 9 months >ugly baby arrives >ugly mother goes to court for dna test with the rich celeb >she ends up winning child support >rich guy threatens to sue me >me laugh >point out he'd have to admit he had a--- sex with a male prostitute >he backs off >word gets around about what happens >some clients start using condoms to catch all the j--- eh i got distracted typing this, got horny and fapped.. soo.. you guys know the rest, hot sauce bling he used to call me on the telephone etc peace out f------
Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)19:38:00 No.907995672 >>907996324 >>907997045 >>907997257 >>907997835 >>907998058 >>907998413 >>907998729 >>907999216 >>907999677 >>908000202 >>908000578 >>908000629 >>908000777 >>908001009 >>908001679 >>908002051 >>908002322 >>908002509 >>908003258 >>908003371 >>908003714 >>907995620 >be me >live in hollywood (america, land of the free) >high class prostitute >have lots of celebrity clients >they are all degenerates >but they pay me enough so it's worth it >one day get a telephone call from unknown number >a female proposes me an idea >hmm interesting >put the plans into motion >meet up with regular rich celebrity dude >he f---- me in my big ass >pulls out and shoves it down my throat >screams out his movie catch phrase as he c--- >my hole dries up as the words leave his lips >he pays me >leaves >send a text to female >me start coughing up and regurgitating his semen from my throat >spit it out into a bowl >she comes to the room >h-------- her face is even worse than the pic she sent me >trade her the bowl for cash >she leaves >fast forward 9 months >ugly baby arrives >ugly mother goes to court for dna test with the rich celeb >she ends up winning child support >rich guy threatens to sue me >me laugh >point out he'd have to admit he had a--- sex with a male prostitute >he backs off >word gets around about what happens >some clients start using condoms to catch all the j--- eh i got distracted typing this, got horny and fapped.. soo.. you guys know the rest, hot sauce bling he used to call me on the telephone etc peace out f------

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Anon on Will Smith. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)08:29:08 No.908010360 >mfw Will Smith is a cuck
: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)08:29:08 No.908010360 >mfw Will Smith is a cuck

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Kevin Feige, you did it again! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Carm INGLOT 10/07/21(Thu)16:14:01 No.157339954 HSBC Sister Het RAISE THY ERSE DINE 4726352554890.jpg 75 KB JPG What was Captain America was thinking here? >>157340900 # >>157340932 # Broadwa 10/07/21(Thu)16:36:16 No.157340848 : Anonymous >>157339954 (OP) # >"N------ are here" he thought, "I've never been in this era before, but there are N------ everywhere." The hot wind wafted the city's stench to his sensitive nostrils. "I HATE N------" he thought. Jungle drums assaulted his tympanic membranes, making them pulsate even as Dr. Erskine's formula circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of minorities in the Burroughs. "With a car, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.
: Anonymous Carm INGLOT 10/07/21(Thu)16:14:01 No.157339954 HSBC Sister Het RAISE THY ERSE DINE 4726352554890.jpg 75 KB JPG What was Captain America was thinking here? >>157340900 # >>157340932 # Broadwa 10/07/21(Thu)16:36:16 No.157340848 : Anonymous >>157339954 (OP) # >"N------ are here" he thought, "I've never been in this era before, but there are N------ everywhere." The hot wind wafted the city's stench to his sensitive nostrils. "I HATE N------" he thought. Jungle drums assaulted his tympanic membranes, making them pulsate even as Dr. Erskine's formula circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of minorities in the Burroughs. "With a car, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.

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anon found a way to solve climate change | /r/Greentext

1000kg of ice (cold) ocean water (warmer than ice) the final solution.png 28 KB PNG >ocean temperatures are rising and endangering ecosystems ok? just pour ice in the water and cool it down, dumbass.
1000kg of ice (cold) ocean water (warmer than ice) the final solution.png 28 KB PNG >ocean temperatures are rising and endangering ecosystems ok? just pour ice in the water and cool it down, dumbass.

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Anon trolls | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)12:26:13 No.75128837 Today class we will be learning about the different types of trolling! >Epically trolling The main variant of trolling used on the internet >Ethically Trolling A variet of the previously mentioned Epically Trolling with an added care to not take it too far and have a good time for everyone involved >Ethnically Trolling This variant was performed in former Yugoslavia in the 1990s 69 KB JPG
Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)12:26:13 No.75128837 Today class we will be learning about the different types of trolling! >Epically trolling The main variant of trolling used on the internet >Ethically Trolling A variet of the previously mentioned Epically Trolling with an added care to not take it too far and have a good time for everyone involved >Ethnically Trolling This variant was performed in former Yugoslavia in the 1990s 69 KB JPG

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Call Me Michelle Phelps | /r/Greentext

21 KB PNG >Be me, on my university men's swim team. Pretty good, not great >Idea! I'll "transition to female." >Take some hormones, grow out my hair, change my name, and invent a story about my gender identity. Definitely don't chop my balls off >Join university's women's swim team >Break every women's collegiate record >Now I am a great swimmer. >If you don't like it, you are transphobic >You will get cancelled >Go to the Olympics, win many women's gold medals in swimming >Go home, stop taking hormones, cut my hair. I am a man again. >I still have my records and Olympic gold medals >Plus, I got to shower with the girl's team. TuckTheBoner.exe >If you don't like it, you're transphobic and will be cancelled
21 KB PNG >Be me, on my university men's swim team. Pretty good, not great >Idea! I'll "transition to female." >Take some hormones, grow out my hair, change my name, and invent a story about my gender identity. Definitely don't chop my balls off >Join university's women's swim team >Break every women's collegiate record >Now I am a great swimmer. >If you don't like it, you are transphobic >You will get cancelled >Go to the Olympics, win many women's gold medals in swimming >Go home, stop taking hormones, cut my hair. I am a man again. >I still have my records and Olympic gold medals >Plus, I got to shower with the girl's team. TuckTheBoner.exe >If you don't like it, you're transphobic and will be cancelled

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GO OUTSIDE ANON | /r/Greentext

boypreggers 10/20/23(Fri)14:13:50 No.907991641 >be me >incredigay >really want to get a boy pregnant >i want to pound a cute twinks ass until he has my boi babies >fantasize about getting boys pregnant >its starting to become an issue 199 KB PNG >non stop daydreaming of pounding a boys ass as hard and as fast as i can >just non stop breeding day and night of non stop sensual ass f------ >imagine the ass jiggle as i try to plant my seed in an unfertile land >this is getting to the point where im almost always having a boner >go into work >start daydreaming about fagpregging a twink >coworker starts work convo >looks kinda twink ish >throbbing boner, full mast ready to set sail >co worker notices and asks if im thinking of something >"f-f-fagpreggers" i say >pass out and c-- my pants so hard it looks like i p----- myself >coworker takes photos and tells everyone to come look >i get fired well f---.
boypreggers 10/20/23(Fri)14:13:50 No.907991641 >be me >incredigay >really want to get a boy pregnant >i want to pound a cute twinks ass until he has my boi babies >fantasize about getting boys pregnant >its starting to become an issue 199 KB PNG >non stop daydreaming of pounding a boys ass as hard and as fast as i can >just non stop breeding day and night of non stop sensual ass f------ >imagine the ass jiggle as i try to plant my seed in an unfertile land >this is getting to the point where im almost always having a boner >go into work >start daydreaming about fagpregging a twink >coworker starts work convo >looks kinda twink ish >throbbing boner, full mast ready to set sail >co worker notices and asks if im thinking of something >"f-f-fagpreggers" i say >pass out and c-- my pants so hard it looks like i p----- myself >coworker takes photos and tells everyone to come look >i get fired well f---.

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anon is sad | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2023-10-17 3.0(...).png (47 KB, 255x236) ☐ kittyboy gaming (ID: LERVPcum) 10/20/23(Fri)12:05:06 No.18925163 ► >>18925169 >>18925179 >>18925226 I dont care if its a boy, a girl, a trans girl/boy, i dont care. i just want someone to love me. i just wanna lay in someone arms and cry. i wanna go on dates and eat food with someone. i wanna snuggle up on the couch and watch tv with someone. i wanna stay up late playing terraria with someone. ive never dated a single person irl and i hate it. all the guys fetishize me and all the girls hate me cuz im a femboy. no this isnt a request im just venting Anonymous (ID: nYQX+dJh) 10/20/23 (Fri)12:06:18 No.18925169 ► >>18925163 (OP) lol? not my problem grow an imagination idiot lol
File: Screenshot 2023-10-17 3.0(...).png (47 KB, 255x236) ☐ kittyboy gaming (ID: LERVPcum) 10/20/23(Fri)12:05:06 No.18925163 ► >>18925169 >>18925179 >>18925226 I dont care if its a boy, a girl, a trans girl/boy, i dont care. i just want someone to love me. i just wanna lay in someone arms and cry. i wanna go on dates and eat food with someone. i wanna snuggle up on the couch and watch tv with someone. i wanna stay up late playing terraria with someone. ive never dated a single person irl and i hate it. all the guys fetishize me and all the girls hate me cuz im a femboy. no this isnt a request im just venting Anonymous (ID: nYQX+dJh) 10/20/23 (Fri)12:06:18 No.18925169 ► >>18925163 (OP) lol? not my problem grow an imagination idiot lol

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Its that simple fellas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)15:38:19 No.654746427 18b4c386fc095.jpg 720 KB JPG >beat up a girl until she falls in love with you
: Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)15:38:19 No.654746427 18b4c386fc095.jpg 720 KB JPG >beat up a girl until she falls in love with you

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Anon has the pass. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)02:17:27 No.75129361 20 KB PNG >be me >have black dad white mum >im the whitest guy ever personality wise >able to sing along to rap and say the n word >able to fit in with pretty much anyone due do the genetics making me look like im an amalgamation of every race idk frens, i used to think interracial couples were cringe and that i was a mistake but im starting to see the light
Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)02:17:27 No.75129361 20 KB PNG >be me >have black dad white mum >im the whitest guy ever personality wise >able to sing along to rap and say the n word >able to fit in with pretty much anyone due do the genetics making me look like im an amalgamation of every race idk frens, i used to think interracial couples were cringe and that i was a mistake but im starting to see the light

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Why didn't he listen!? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 157 KB PNG 11.05.2015, 05:05:59 No.85832028 > be sick > forced to go to work anyway cause need money > go to toilet during break hours > annihilate the toilet > go out meet coworker on his way in > say "dont go in there i just nuked it" > "haha how bad can it be" > a few seconds later hear him puke in the stall > mfw
Anonymous 157 KB PNG 11.05.2015, 05:05:59 No.85832028 > be sick > forced to go to work anyway cause need money > go to toilet during break hours > annihilate the toilet > go out meet coworker on his way in > say "dont go in there i just nuked it" > "haha how bad can it be" > a few seconds later hear him puke in the stall > mfw

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