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annon is concerned about mens health | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)09:41:03 No.783847236 >November devoted to mens health particularly prostate cancer >you retards promote not masturbating which has scientifically proven negative effects on the prostate 3 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)09:41:03 No.783847236 >November devoted to mens health particularly prostate cancer >you retards promote not masturbating which has scientifically proven negative effects on the prostate 3 KB PNG

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)16:45:43 No.872357193 >be me 2018 URGER ING >school's IT room doesn't allow you to change wallpaper or you'll get scolded or something >bastard brain remembers the post about the slideshow background >good idea fairy taps my brain with 30 KB JPG her little wand >take a screenshot of the desktop with icons arranged differently >take screenshots but with a thin white line across using paint >one frame of p--- >place them in one folder with 200 copies of the normal wallpaper >set slideshow settings to the folder >change every minute >Hide folder deep in the drive >rinse and repeat on 5 other computers with the same game-plan >Chaos >IT assistants eventually find the folder, check the date and time >my class is held for questioning >never got discovered >case is dropped and computers are returned to normal >I will be back 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)16:45:43 No.872357193 >be me 2018 URGER ING >school's IT room doesn't allow you to change wallpaper or you'll get scolded or something >bastard brain remembers the post about the slideshow background >good idea fairy taps my brain with 30 KB JPG her little wand >take a screenshot of the desktop with icons arranged differently >take screenshots but with a thin white line across using paint >one frame of p--- >place them in one folder with 200 copies of the normal wallpaper >set slideshow settings to the folder >change every minute >Hide folder deep in the drive >rinse and repeat on 5 other computers with the same game-plan >Chaos >IT assistants eventually find the folder, check the date and time >my class is held for questioning >never got discovered >case is dropped and computers are returned to normal >I will be back 1 Reply View Thread

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Anons teacher uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

>be me >high school, we've got a substitute teacher >working on presentations >put links to hentaihaven and /b/ in the bibliography because autism >sub asks if he can look through our presentation >he's nearly at the end, suddenly remember the links >ohshit.jpg >he sees them >"why do you have that s--- here, you're too young for /b/" >ask him how he knows what's on /b/ >doesn't answer >mfw teachers a btard >mfw he's probably gonna see this Hi Mr H
>be me >high school, we've got a substitute teacher >working on presentations >put links to hentaihaven and /b/ in the bibliography because autism >sub asks if he can look through our presentation >he's nearly at the end, suddenly remember the links >ohshit.jpg >he sees them >"why do you have that s--- here, you're too young for /b/" >ask him how he knows what's on /b/ >doesn't answer >mfw teachers a btard >mfw he's probably gonna see this Hi Mr H

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Anon goes to the internet sages for advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:52:14 No.820774024 >walking into bedroom >GF grabs my balls >Honks them like a a bike horn >Get a boner >she giggles and kisses me then runs away 122 KB PNG Why are women so weird Bros? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:53:47 No.820774113 you're the who popped the boner : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:54:10 No.820774134 >>820774024 (OP) # duh, that's where you grab her t--- and honk them twice while yelling honk honk. alternatively, next time she's naked, grab her n------, gently turn them and make radio noises. 820774313 tH
: Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:52:14 No.820774024 >walking into bedroom >GF grabs my balls >Honks them like a a bike horn >Get a boner >she giggles and kisses me then runs away 122 KB PNG Why are women so weird Bros? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:53:47 No.820774113 you're the who popped the boner : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:54:10 No.820774134 >>820774024 (OP) # duh, that's where you grab her t--- and honk them twice while yelling honk honk. alternatively, next time she's naked, grab her n------, gently turn them and make radio noises. 820774313 tH

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Anon learns the way to fix their chest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)09:59:00 No.48760867 What exercise to improve on this condition? 16 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)10:01:38 No.48760890 3 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)09:59:00 No.48760867 What exercise to improve on this condition? 16 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)10:01:38 No.48760890 3 KB JPG

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Anon Born in wrong generation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 784014849 22 min temu >born too late to explore the world. >born too early to have genetically engineered catgirl gf it really /B/ that way sometimes. 31,9 kB JPG 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 784015041 18 min temu >>784014849 (OP) >born just at the right time to shipost on /b/ 30,0 kB JPG
Anonymous | 784014849 22 min temu >born too late to explore the world. >born too early to have genetically engineered catgirl gf it really /B/ that way sometimes. 31,9 kB JPG 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 784015041 18 min temu >>784014849 (OP) >born just at the right time to shipost on /b/ 30,0 kB JPG

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Anon loves science | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/27/12(Wed)14:36:16 No.2904482 >dad is shaving >'don't touch it anon, it is sharp, you will cut your finger >dad leaves >is it true? must test hypothesis. >climb onto counter, test razor with finger >cut finger, ow f--- >hypothesis confirmed >one must suffer in pursuit of science
Anonymous 06/27/12(Wed)14:36:16 No.2904482 >dad is shaving >'don't touch it anon, it is sharp, you will cut your finger >dad leaves >is it true? must test hypothesis. >climb onto counter, test razor with finger >cut finger, ow f--- >hypothesis confirmed >one must suffer in pursuit of science

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Anon is dating a half asian girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/16(Sat)22:51:13 No.707973951 I'm dating a half asian girl her mom is korean and her dad is also korean her legs were ripped off in a car accident >>707974093 # >>707974306 #
: Anonymous 10/15/16(Sat)22:51:13 No.707973951 I'm dating a half asian girl her mom is korean and her dad is also korean her legs were ripped off in a car accident >>707974093 # >>707974306 #

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Anon is Perv-Autist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49093368 3 hr. ago >got caught stealing my little sister's panties >mom won't let me out of my room >says she'll call the police if I come out for anything other than food or the bathroom 86.3 kB PNG 23 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 49093394 3 hr. ago •.. Degenerates like you should be hanged or executed by firing squad. Kill yourself 4 REPLIES
Anonymous | 49093368 3 hr. ago >got caught stealing my little sister's panties >mom won't let me out of my room >says she'll call the police if I come out for anything other than food or the bathroom 86.3 kB PNG 23 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 49093394 3 hr. ago •.. Degenerates like you should be hanged or executed by firing squad. Kill yourself 4 REPLIES

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Anon and the birthday surprise | /r/Greentext

No.49112458 18 minutes ago vip-mitsey-21.jpg JPG 1.7 MiB 2448x3264 >be me >Be going to rich banker friends wife's suprise birthday party >Everyone is hiding in the dark downstairs including their dog mitsey >She comes home and she's upstairs for a while >All of a sudden we all here "Mitsey where are you Mitsey?" >Bitch comes running down the stairs butt ass naked with peanut butter on her snatch for the dog to lick off >We only realize it after the light turns on and we yell suprise >Tfw she disappears the next day >Tfw no one heard from her again >Tfw she probably killed herself
No.49112458 18 minutes ago vip-mitsey-21.jpg JPG 1.7 MiB 2448x3264 >be me >Be going to rich banker friends wife's suprise birthday party >Everyone is hiding in the dark downstairs including their dog mitsey >She comes home and she's upstairs for a while >All of a sudden we all here "Mitsey where are you Mitsey?" >Bitch comes running down the stairs butt ass naked with peanut butter on her snatch for the dog to lick off >We only realize it after the light turns on and we yell suprise >Tfw she disappears the next day >Tfw no one heard from her again >Tfw she probably killed herself

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Anon has Anxiety | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/19(Fri)16:45:16 No.796199748 >have severe anxiety >sick of it >try cutting out caffeine for a week >anxiety worse >look up caffeine withdrawal symptoms >mfw its anxiety 161 KB PNG 10 Replies / 1 lImage View Thread
: Anonymous 03/29/19(Fri)16:45:16 No.796199748 >have severe anxiety >sick of it >try cutting out caffeine for a week >anxiety worse >look up caffeine withdrawal symptoms >mfw its anxiety 161 KB PNG 10 Replies / 1 lImage View Thread

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Anon is in denial. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:07:13 No.67313279 Why does Transgender p--- make me f------ explode whenever i c--. Normal p--- does not do that to me besides foot fetish stuff. INCOMPREHENSIBLE MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR WRETCHED SOUL The only time i ever actually c-- that is to feet. Im not gay or into d---- but the fact that i see a girl with a d--- something 42 KB JPG that isnt supposed to be makes me go monkey mode. Any explanation? questioning my sexuallity is not a real answer i had sex with men before and i did not like it i also dont find men attractive. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:18:14 No.67313382 >>67313279 (OP) # Level 1 what the f---- > Transgender p--- Level 2 > foot fetish 8 KB JPG LEVEL 3 > I had sex with men before
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:07:13 No.67313279 Why does Transgender p--- make me f------ explode whenever i c--. Normal p--- does not do that to me besides foot fetish stuff. INCOMPREHENSIBLE MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR WRETCHED SOUL The only time i ever actually c-- that is to feet. Im not gay or into d---- but the fact that i see a girl with a d--- something 42 KB JPG that isnt supposed to be makes me go monkey mode. Any explanation? questioning my sexuallity is not a real answer i had sex with men before and i did not like it i also dont find men attractive. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:18:14 No.67313382 >>67313279 (OP) # Level 1 what the f---- > Transgender p--- Level 2 > foot fetish 8 KB JPG LEVEL 3 > I had sex with men before

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The fat rat | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a shitty night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:21:42 No.872344168 >be me >laying in bed with boyfriend >feel gassy >decide l'll fart a little bit >push with minimum force >f------ poop all over my boyfriend 372 KB JPG and the bedsheets >liquid s--- smell everywhere >he doesn't wake up >I start crying freakingout.exe >get up to go to bathroom to get myself cleaned up >l hear him waking up this very second as I type this I'm certain he's waking up what the F--- do I do : Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:23:23 No.872344241 >>872344168 (OP) # Post t--- w timestamp >>872344310 # : Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:23:26 No.872344245 >>872344168 (OP) # Lol tell him he s--- all over you and start freaking out : Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:24:36 No.872344310 >>872344241 # I'm a dude
: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:21:42 No.872344168 >be me >laying in bed with boyfriend >feel gassy >decide l'll fart a little bit >push with minimum force >f------ poop all over my boyfriend 372 KB JPG and the bedsheets >liquid s--- smell everywhere >he doesn't wake up >I start crying freakingout.exe >get up to go to bathroom to get myself cleaned up >l hear him waking up this very second as I type this I'm certain he's waking up what the F--- do I do : Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:23:23 No.872344241 >>872344168 (OP) # Post t--- w timestamp >>872344310 # : Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:23:26 No.872344245 >>872344168 (OP) # Lol tell him he s--- all over you and start freaking out : Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:24:36 No.872344310 >>872344241 # I'm a dude

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Anon commits a based warcrime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)16:10:33 No.862752553 >Go outside building for vape break >Nicotine high achieved jpg >Shy looking leftist girl is walking into building RE 158 KB JPG >Go back inside >See her enter behind me in second doors window reflection >Go-to elevator >She's still behind me >Enter elevator >Door starts closing when she comes up to enter >Hold it open for her so she can enter >Just me and her >ldea.gif >Proceed to push out my all day held in farts >It's very loud >Elevator dings for the floor >Turn my head around and say "No one will ever believe you" >Door opens >Walk out and enter my office >Didn't look back
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)16:10:33 No.862752553 >Go outside building for vape break >Nicotine high achieved jpg >Shy looking leftist girl is walking into building RE 158 KB JPG >Go back inside >See her enter behind me in second doors window reflection >Go-to elevator >She's still behind me >Enter elevator >Door starts closing when she comes up to enter >Hold it open for her so she can enter >Just me and her >ldea.gif >Proceed to push out my all day held in farts >It's very loud >Elevator dings for the floor >Turn my head around and say "No one will ever believe you" >Door opens >Walk out and enter my office >Didn't look back

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Piss goblin strikes again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)09:03:16 No.67040942 >drink 1.5l of water in one sitting >Have to piss a lot >Go to bed >Wake up having to piss in the morning, piss is still clear POPOV 339 KB PNG >Drink 1.5l of vodka and a mixer in one sitting >Piss maybe once or twice >Go to bed >Wake up, don't have to piss >Whatever piss that does come out is deep yellow How does this work? Where is my piss disappearing to? Are there piss goblins or something that steal my pee when I'm drunk?
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)09:03:16 No.67040942 >drink 1.5l of water in one sitting >Have to piss a lot >Go to bed >Wake up having to piss in the morning, piss is still clear POPOV 339 KB PNG >Drink 1.5l of vodka and a mixer in one sitting >Piss maybe once or twice >Go to bed >Wake up, don't have to piss >Whatever piss that does come out is deep yellow How does this work? Where is my piss disappearing to? Are there piss goblins or something that steal my pee when I'm drunk?

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Anon has a field trip | /r/Greentext

No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars ...
No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars ...

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Anon has dilemma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48962126 33 min. ago >white supremacist >wants an asian gf 21.6 kB JPG 1 REPLY 2 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 48962126 33 min. ago >white supremacist >wants an asian gf 21.6 kB JPG 1 REPLY 2 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon sees harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/18(Tue)07:33:42 No.772622084 Happened a few days ago. >be me >take my girlfriend to the Harry Potter orchestra >it's prisoner of azkaban >should be pretty gud 58 KB JPG >get there, there's a ton of hp weebs >in full garb >casting spells and s--- outside the theatre >get inside >they f------ clap every 10 minutes >malfoy gets punched >everyone f------ claps and cheers >some offbeat scene that's not even funny >everyone claps and laughs >the movie finally ends >orchestra plays through the credits >people f------ stood and applauded when Emma Watson's name came up I was going to make up a story about how someone yelled DIS N---- FINNA BOUTA GET DABBED ON, but the truth was even more ridiculous
: Anonymous 06/26/18(Tue)07:33:42 No.772622084 Happened a few days ago. >be me >take my girlfriend to the Harry Potter orchestra >it's prisoner of azkaban >should be pretty gud 58 KB JPG >get there, there's a ton of hp weebs >in full garb >casting spells and s--- outside the theatre >get inside >they f------ clap every 10 minutes >malfoy gets punched >everyone f------ claps and cheers >some offbeat scene that's not even funny >everyone claps and laughs >the movie finally ends >orchestra plays through the credits >people f------ stood and applauded when Emma Watson's name came up I was going to make up a story about how someone yelled DIS N---- FINNA BOUTA GET DABBED ON, but the truth was even more ridiculous

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Anon finds a ice rock | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)22:30:18 No.50443207 >be me >In 3rd grade >recess.gif >find cool ice rock >hide ice rock under clothes and put in locker 234 KB PNG >come back next day >Mfw ice rock gone
: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)22:30:18 No.50443207 >be me >In 3rd grade >recess.gif >find cool ice rock >hide ice rock under clothes and put in locker 234 KB PNG >come back next day >Mfw ice rock gone

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