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You're hired!

Ethan Smith @NotEthanSmith_ Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault
Ethan Smith @NotEthanSmith_ Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault

Twitter / X
twitter hospitality customer service

The pancake has spoken

jo @whatsJo him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news 4:58 PM · 2019-11-12 · Twitter for iPhone 3,021 Retweets 54 Quote Tweets 14.9K Likes
jo @whatsJo him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news 4:58 PM · 2019-11-12 · Twitter for iPhone 3,021 Retweets 54 Quote Tweets 14.9K Likes

Twitter / X
twitter tarot boyfriend weird weirdo

"Imagine a take so bad it was trending in the US."

Tanooki Joe" @TanookiKuribo Imagine a take so bad it was trending in the US. Trending in United States Gatekeeping People are discussing 'gatekeeping' in pop culture after a user suggested that if someone's anime knowledge is solely based on popular titles like 'Demon Slayer, Naruto, Inuyasha, Bleach, One Piece, Fate, Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Gundam, My Hero Academia, Yu-Gi-Oh and Ghost in The Shell, then you're NOT an anime fan!" 11.9K Tweets 1:42 AM · Feb 16, 2021 · Twitter Web App 467 Retweets 24 Quote Tweets 2,605 Likes
Tanooki Joe" @TanookiKuribo Imagine a take so bad it was trending in the US. Trending in United States Gatekeeping People are discussing 'gatekeeping' in pop culture after a user suggested that if someone's anime knowledge is solely based on popular titles like 'Demon Slayer, Naruto, Inuyasha, Bleach, One Piece, Fate, Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Gundam, My Hero Academia, Yu-Gi-Oh and Ghost in The Shell, then you're NOT an anime fan!" 11.9K Tweets 1:42 AM · Feb 16, 2021 · Twitter Web App 467 Retweets 24 Quote Tweets 2,605 Likes

Twitter / X
twitter trending gatekeeping anime

Satin

Sean Penn @SeanPenn Evangelical leaders should themselves be impeached by the Vatican if they themselves don't follow Nikki Haley's lead & clearly state they should not have followed Satin into the bowels of hell. But, perhaps they are too busy at sex parties. 8:13 PM · Feb 12, 2021 4.3K 13.9K P Copy link to Tweet
Sean Penn @SeanPenn Evangelical leaders should themselves be impeached by the Vatican if they themselves don't follow Nikki Haley's lead & clearly state they should not have followed Satin into the bowels of hell. But, perhaps they are too busy at sex parties. 8:13 PM · Feb 12, 2021 4.3K 13.9K P Copy link to Tweet

Twitter / X
sean penn

Give this woman a medal

Living Morganism Y @ok_girlfriend is it just me or are bottom feeders the roombas of the sea
Living Morganism Y @ok_girlfriend is it just me or are bottom feeders the roombas of the sea

Twitter / X
roomba bottom feeder ocean sea creature

What do people look like again?

Mark Agee @MarkAgee STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME |- Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today 9:17 AM - 14 Jul 2015 8,326 RETWEETS 11.1K LIKES
Mark Agee @MarkAgee STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME |- Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today 9:17 AM - 14 Jul 2015 8,326 RETWEETS 11.1K LIKES

Twitter / X
twitter working from home isolation

Doesn't get more wholesome than that

Lauren @_laurennewsome Today I found out through Facebook that the overnight security guard at my work knits boots and mittens for premature babies at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. He also posts them worldwide. MY HEART Bruce busy knitting for simpsons prem babies! Sits for hrs every night so thoughtful I'l get thase handed in
Lauren @_laurennewsome Today I found out through Facebook that the overnight security guard at my work knits boots and mittens for premature babies at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. He also posts them worldwide. MY HEART Bruce busy knitting for simpsons prem babies! Sits for hrs every night so thoughtful I'l get thase handed in

Twitter / X
wholesome security guard knitting babies

I like my celebs humble like him

Someone needs to tell Mark Ruffalo that he's famous INTER INT DNTERNATI NAN B NATIONAL INTERNATION a mOEAN BEED SC COMCOIAL RNATIONAL INTER NAI EGO SA INTERNAT ESENA SCO COM Emma @MakeMemeEmma Just another reason why he is my favourite marvel super hero OMICE COMICE CO
Someone needs to tell Mark Ruffalo that he's famous INTER INT DNTERNATI NAN B NATIONAL INTERNATION a mOEAN BEED SC COMCOIAL RNATIONAL INTER NAI EGO SA INTERNAT ESENA SCO COM Emma @MakeMemeEmma Just another reason why he is my favourite marvel super hero OMICE COMICE CO

Twitter / X
mark ruffalo famous celebrity humility

OK this is deliberate right?

Matt Crowley O @MatthewPCrowley Not knowing about Greek mythology is my Achilles' Horse. 2:12 PM · 25 Aug 18 · Twitter Web Client 2,346 Retweets 71 Quote Tweets 10.5K Likes 27 Bryn Stole O @brynstole · 25 Aug 18 Replying to @MatthewPCrowley Matt. 27 2 1 25 Matt Crowley @Matth.. · 25 Aug 18 Uh oh, I've really opened a Pandora's Labyrinth here 2 2] 47 199 > >
Matt Crowley O @MatthewPCrowley Not knowing about Greek mythology is my Achilles' Horse. 2:12 PM · 25 Aug 18 · Twitter Web Client 2,346 Retweets 71 Quote Tweets 10.5K Likes 27 Bryn Stole O @brynstole · 25 Aug 18 Replying to @MatthewPCrowley Matt. 27 2 1 25 Matt Crowley @Matth.. · 25 Aug 18 Uh oh, I've really opened a Pandora's Labyrinth here 2 2] 47 199 > >

Twitter / X
greek mythology mythology wrong pandoras box trojan horse

Yeah I'll get some discontentment thanks

Marc O @MarcSnetiker Going into a spiral anyone want anything >
Marc O @MarcSnetiker Going into a spiral anyone want anything >

Twitter / X
spiral discontent twitter life emotions

And I'm speeding up

Spartacus. @infiniotic i'm going at 200mph (mistakes per hour).
Spartacus. @infiniotic i'm going at 200mph (mistakes per hour).

Twitter / X
mistakes mistake twitter

You don't want the unicorns to die, do you?

Adam Gaylord @AuthorGaylord Me Pre-Kids: I'm never gonna lie to my kids ever. Me with Kids:I just got off the phone with Santa, the firefighter dog from Paw Patrol, and the Green Power Ranger, and they all agree, if you don't put your shoes on, they're gonna have to put down another unicorn. Public Librar
Adam Gaylord @AuthorGaylord Me Pre-Kids: I'm never gonna lie to my kids ever. Me with Kids:I just got off the phone with Santa, the firefighter dog from Paw Patrol, and the Green Power Ranger, and they all agree, if you don't put your shoes on, they're gonna have to put down another unicorn. Public Librar

Twitter / X
kids kid parent parenthood parent life

skills

it's my birthday @kissfeels me at 3am trying to plug my charger without getting out of the bed 00:01 23:20
it's my birthday @kissfeels me at 3am trying to plug my charger without getting out of the bed 00:01 23:20

Twitter / X
phone charging

Evil alter ego

john @mrjohndarby when matt damon gets really angry he quietly says to himself "matt demon" 1:16 AM · 2020-08-31 · Twitter Web App 70 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 532 Likes
john @mrjohndarby when matt damon gets really angry he quietly says to himself "matt demon" 1:16 AM · 2020-08-31 · Twitter Web App 70 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 532 Likes

Twitter / X
matt damon matt demon funny tweet mrjohndarby tweet

Respect is earned, not demanded

Mary * @girlfromcanada Hi I'm Mary - and I am going to continue to be vocal about women in this industry We demand respect 8:19 AM · Feb 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 83 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 1,009 Likes Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. RESPECT IS EARNED, NOT GIVEN.
Mary * @girlfromcanada Hi I'm Mary - and I am going to continue to be vocal about women in this industry We demand respect 8:19 AM · Feb 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 83 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 1,009 Likes Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. RESPECT IS EARNED, NOT GIVEN.

Twitter / X
twitter video game journalist respect gaming industry women in gaming quote

This shouldn't even be a disclaimer come on!

Gorilla Glue O GORILLA @Gorilla Glue We never thought we'd have to say this, but do not use our products on your f------ hair. 2/7/21, 9:57 AM KIT
Gorilla Glue O GORILLA @Gorilla Glue We never thought we'd have to say this, but do not use our products on your f------ hair. 2/7/21, 9:57 AM KIT

Twitter / X
twitter gorilla glue parody

is that asking for too much?

Hannah Berner @beingbernz I'm single because I hate people but I want to find one person who I don't hate who also hates people but doesn't hate me.
Hannah Berner @beingbernz I'm single because I hate people but I want to find one person who I don't hate who also hates people but doesn't hate me.

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friends hating people hate together so much hate love not hate

preemies are so RUDE

sydney battle @SydneyBattle i was born on my due date and i was only 5 pounds. it's called being considerate & respecting ur mother 4:58 PM · 2021-02-04 · Twitter for iPhone 1,255 Retweets 331 Quote Tweets 42.2K Likes
sydney battle @SydneyBattle i was born on my due date and i was only 5 pounds. it's called being considerate & respecting ur mother 4:58 PM · 2021-02-04 · Twitter for iPhone 1,255 Retweets 331 Quote Tweets 42.2K Likes

Twitter / X
funny tweet relatable tweet viral tweet babies birth respect parenting

she's going places

ANISA || @aaaanisaxx when I was 19 I had to apply for a job and couldn't be arsed writing a cover letter so I made a fake job ad for the job I was applying for on gumtree and like 200 people applied and I picked the best cover letter as my own 7:53 PM · 2021-02-03 · Twitter for iPhone 13.2K Retweets 2,960 Quote Tweets 207K Likes
ANISA || @aaaanisaxx when I was 19 I had to apply for a job and couldn't be arsed writing a cover letter so I made a fake job ad for the job I was applying for on gumtree and like 200 people applied and I picked the best cover letter as my own 7:53 PM · 2021-02-03 · Twitter for iPhone 13.2K Retweets 2,960 Quote Tweets 207K Likes

Twitter / X
funny tweet job hunting relatable work meme job meme

Void in your heart

Y. Yo Nutricionista nutricionis T. @memesnutricion - my concerned friend: food won't fill that void in your heart. - me, a person of science: 4:22 PM - Mar 4, 2020 - Twitter for Android 122 Retweets 10 Quote Tweets 676 Likes
Y. Yo Nutricionista nutricionis T. @memesnutricion - my concerned friend: food won't fill that void in your heart. - me, a person of science: 4:22 PM - Mar 4, 2020 - Twitter for Android 122 Retweets 10 Quote Tweets 676 Likes

Twitter / X
yo nutricionista heart attack heart food