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Mac n Cheese and dinosaurs for everyone

lady-eve: I just realized that the lack of acceptance for asexuals is literally the dumbest thing. Like, you can't handle the thought of two dudes kissing? Okay you're dumb and terrible whatever. But you can't handle the idea... Of someone... Not kissing anyone? What are you worried about? They're gonna eat too much mac n cheese?? Draw too many dinosaurs??? Tell me 59,550 notes

lady-eve: I just realized that the lack of acceptance for asexuals is literally the dumbest thing. Like, you can't handle the thought of two dudes kissing? Okay you're dumb and terrible whatever. But you can't handle the idea... Of someone... Not kissing anyone? What are you worried about? They're gonna eat too much mac n cheese?? Draw too many dinosaurs??? Tell me 59,550 notes

asexual acceptance bigotry asexuality

Juiced Up

koobaxion: Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a f------ experience. Before the surgery wasn't too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like "hey... i think... i died... and now I'm in a parallel universe... and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe" and he was just kinda like "alright, you do that". And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like "damn... why are there so many of you... there's like 5 many of you" and she was just kinda like "alright, you do that". Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like "how ya feeling son" in the dadliest way possible and I was like "MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I'M STARVED" so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say "I'm good I can do this" and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some f------ battle and holler "WHATS UP F----" to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look. So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly f------ lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says "hey are you going to order or what". Keep in mind I'm on the first f------ smoothie on the list here. So I just say "shush man l'm trying to do fruit science", and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said "yeah give me a smooth regular" which for the uninitiated, isn't actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the "boosted" smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made "lightning noises". So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some s--- and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says "how ya feelin?". Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say "there's these f-----... tiny sheep in my head" which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them). Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn't find the status update bar) that read: "i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice" This may be the funniest thing I have ever read. There are actual tears coming out of my face. More awesome pics at FUNSubstance.co

koobaxion: Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a f------ experience. Before the surgery wasn't too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like "hey... i think... i died... and now I'm in a parallel universe... and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe" and he was just kinda like "alright, you do that". And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like "damn... why are there so many of you... there's like 5 many of you" and she was just kinda like "alright, you do that". Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like "how ya feeling son" in the dadliest way possible and I was like "MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I'M STARVED" so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say "I'm good I can do this" and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some f------ battle and holler "WHATS UP F----" to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look. So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly f------ lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says "hey are you going to order or what". Keep in mind I'm on the first f------ smoothie on the list here. So I just say "shush man l'm trying to do fruit science", and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said "yeah give me a smooth regular" which for the uninitiated, isn't actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the "boosted" smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made "lightning noises". So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some s--- and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says "how ya feelin?". Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say "there's these f-----... tiny sheep in my head" which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them). Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn't find the status update bar) that read: "i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice" This may be the funniest thing I have ever read. There are actual tears coming out of my face. More awesome pics at FUNSubstance.co

painkillers jamba juice

Adventures in Finland

finland wild mountain thyme tumblr parents

So it begins

enemy-stand open rp "Tell Yoshi bedtime story now." A classystarman "There's no time. This is your story." kazeoceantide KSHIS STORY

enemy-stand open rp "Tell Yoshi bedtime story now." A classystarman "There's no time. This is your story." kazeoceantide KSHIS STORY

yoshi auron yoshi's story final fantasy x crossover tumblr

Man Weed

Enter your first name we e d ma n officialsergioramos weed man is ready to play persona 3 officialsergioramos god damn it i forgot how japanese names work > "man weed · Class F"

Enter your first name we e d ma n officialsergioramos weed man is ready to play persona 3 officialsergioramos god damn it i forgot how japanese names work > "man weed · Class F"

weed man name tumblr

This is part of a much larger post, but this alone explains a lot, like nontroversies

web 2.0 social media fandom

E-rated games discourse (and how YouTube “handled” COPPA)

The really funny part about the whole adults-playing-E-rated-games discourse is that it implies that adults should only and exclusively consume media that's full of graphic violence and explicit sex, which raises some frankly fascinating questions about what these people think adulthood is. There's discourse about this? Adults playing E-rated games? This is a hill people feel like dying on right now? I refuse, this can't possibly be a thing, this is too stupid for you to not be making it up. It has to be made up. It needs to be. Nah, it's a real thing - and not just a Tumblr thing, or even an Internet thing, either. Broadly speaking, there are three major strands to the argument: 1. That adults engaging with media that appeals to children – regardless of whether the media in question is in fact aimed at young audiences - is a sign of immaturity or emotional regression, and that a mature and emotionally healthy adult would naturally only wish to engage with media that's explicitly and exclusively intended for adult audiences. 2. That adults engaging with media that appeals to children represents an inappropriate crossing of boundaries, typically grounded in the notion that any social interaction between adults and children that doesn't consist of the adult exercising authority upon the child is inappropriate, and that adults engaging with media that appeals to children creates an unacceptable risk of such interactions occurring, regardless of whether or not they in fact occur. 3. As a corollary of points 1 and 2, if we take it as given that a. no mentally competent adult would enjoy engaging with media that appeals to children, and b. adults engaging with media that appeals to children creates an inherent risk of inappropriate boundary-crossing, the obvious conclusion is that adults who voluntarily engage with media that appeals to children must be doing so for the explicit purpose of courting such boundary-crossing interactions. None of these are new ideas – all of them date back at least to all that Moral Majority horseshit that was going around in the 1970s. The only real novelty is that there have lately been efforts to re-frame these ideas as progressive, particularly in the context of video game fandom. Oh wow that... might actually explain why youtube “handled" the children's content thing the way it did. If it believes this, then obviously it would want to make e-rated content harder to access, not let you make playlists from it, and punish creators who make it. No, that's a completely unrelated thing – it's really about advertising. In a nutshell, in late 2019 Google was fined 170 million dollars by the FTC for engaging in targeted advertising to minors under the age of 13; that is, for tracking kids' online activity in order to build profiles of their consumer preferences and serve ads tailored to their interests, which it may not surprise you to learn is straight up illegal. What should have happened after that is for Google to stop running targeted ads to anyone who hasn't registered for a Google or YouTube account and warranted that they're over 18. What actually happened is that Google cooked up a piece of legal bizarro logic arguing that it's actually totally okay for Google to build targeted advertising profiles of minors as long as those profiles are never actually used to expose a minor to a targeted ad, and that it's the responsibility of individual content creators to prevent minors from being exposed to targeted advertising by voluntarily demonetising any video that might possibly appeal to kids under 13. This way, Google can continue building targeted advertising profiles of kids, and if anyone is ever able to prove that those profiles were used to actually run a targeted ad, they can claim it's the fault of the individual content creator for choosing to monetise that video knowing that a kid might potentially watch it. I trust you can see where the problem is.

The really funny part about the whole adults-playing-E-rated-games discourse is that it implies that adults should only and exclusively consume media that's full of graphic violence and explicit sex, which raises some frankly fascinating questions about what these people think adulthood is. There's discourse about this? Adults playing E-rated games? This is a hill people feel like dying on right now? I refuse, this can't possibly be a thing, this is too stupid for you to not be making it up. It has to be made up. It needs to be. Nah, it's a real thing - and not just a Tumblr thing, or even an Internet thing, either. Broadly speaking, there are three major strands to the argument: 1. That adults engaging with media that appeals to children – regardless of whether the media in question is in fact aimed at young audiences - is a sign of immaturity or emotional regression, and that a mature and emotionally healthy adult would naturally only wish to engage with media that's explicitly and exclusively intended for adult audiences. 2. That adults engaging with media that appeals to children represents an inappropriate crossing of boundaries, typically grounded in the notion that any social interaction between adults and children that doesn't consist of the adult exercising authority upon the child is inappropriate, and that adults engaging with media that appeals to children creates an unacceptable risk of such interactions occurring, regardless of whether or not they in fact occur. 3. As a corollary of points 1 and 2, if we take it as given that a. no mentally competent adult would enjoy engaging with media that appeals to children, and b. adults engaging with media that appeals to children creates an inherent risk of inappropriate boundary-crossing, the obvious conclusion is that adults who voluntarily engage with media that appeals to children must be doing so for the explicit purpose of courting such boundary-crossing interactions. None of these are new ideas – all of them date back at least to all that Moral Majority horseshit that was going around in the 1970s. The only real novelty is that there have lately been efforts to re-frame these ideas as progressive, particularly in the context of video game fandom. Oh wow that... might actually explain why youtube “handled" the children's content thing the way it did. If it believes this, then obviously it would want to make e-rated content harder to access, not let you make playlists from it, and punish creators who make it. No, that's a completely unrelated thing – it's really about advertising. In a nutshell, in late 2019 Google was fined 170 million dollars by the FTC for engaging in targeted advertising to minors under the age of 13; that is, for tracking kids' online activity in order to build profiles of their consumer preferences and serve ads tailored to their interests, which it may not surprise you to learn is straight up illegal. What should have happened after that is for Google to stop running targeted ads to anyone who hasn't registered for a Google or YouTube account and warranted that they're over 18. What actually happened is that Google cooked up a piece of legal bizarro logic arguing that it's actually totally okay for Google to build targeted advertising profiles of minors as long as those profiles are never actually used to expose a minor to a targeted ad, and that it's the responsibility of individual content creators to prevent minors from being exposed to targeted advertising by voluntarily demonetising any video that might possibly appeal to kids under 13. This way, Google can continue building targeted advertising profiles of kids, and if anyone is ever able to prove that those profiles were used to actually run a targeted ad, they can claim it's the fault of the individual content creator for choosing to monetise that video knowing that a kid might potentially watch it. I trust you can see where the problem is.

e-rated game discourse coppa children’s online privacy protection act

Economics 101

pissvortex going to the gas station and spraying the gas everywhere while the cashier frantically hands me crisp dollar bills, due to the negative oil prices 2,835 notes

pissvortex going to the gas station and spraying the gas everywhere while the cashier frantically hands me crisp dollar bills, due to the negative oil prices 2,835 notes

fuel prices negative oil free gas funny tumblr

there is a pear/pair dad-joke somewhere in there

bridezillas-deactivated20130208 Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like "oh? I have a stress ball?" and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I'm much more stressed than I was

bridezillas-deactivated20130208 Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like "oh? I have a stress ball?" and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I'm much more stressed than I was

pear pair dad joke stress stress ball

like, what is the backup plan?

havocs physically im here but mentally im still thinking about that ceramic battle axe... havocs kronostherevanent Ceramic Battleaxe: Extremely powerful, but heavy and very fragile. Only good for one instant-kill hit, make it count.

havocs physically im here but mentally im still thinking about that ceramic battle axe... havocs kronostherevanent Ceramic Battleaxe: Extremely powerful, but heavy and very fragile. Only good for one instant-kill hit, make it count.

disposable weapons 1 time use ceramic mind blown but why

Alt right gender neutral pronouns

closet-keys I saw some a------ use "cu**s" on a youtube comment and I can't for the life of me figure out if they are trying to imply “nt" or “ck" gogret Shrodinger's cu** bears-official glad to see the alt-right is developing its own gender neutral pronouns Source:closet-keys 42,454 notes

closet-keys I saw some a------ use "cu**s" on a youtube comment and I can't for the life of me figure out if they are trying to imply “nt" or “ck" gogret Shrodinger's cu** bears-official glad to see the alt-right is developing its own gender neutral pronouns Source:closet-keys 42,454 notes

schrodinger cuck

The worst part is that’s there’s actually E-rated video game discourse

professional-dog-hugger callout posts in 2014: this user is sending mean messages to people! please be warned! callout posts in 2015: this user is stealing bones from cemeteries for witch rituals! callout posts in 2016: this user Actually A Nazi callout posts in 2017: this user watches an anime I don't like callout posts in 2018: i went through this user's youtube like history and found a video from JonTron that they liked in 2012, proving that they're a bad person callout posts in 2019: this user plays E-Rated Video Games, which are meant for children, which seems pretty sus to me idk :/ callout posts in 2020: this user stole 5 gallons of purified water from the New DC Resistance Camp and was last seen headed towards Sunken Brooklyn ave-aria what I REALLY don't like is this post was made in 2017

professional-dog-hugger callout posts in 2014: this user is sending mean messages to people! please be warned! callout posts in 2015: this user is stealing bones from cemeteries for witch rituals! callout posts in 2016: this user Actually A Nazi callout posts in 2017: this user watches an anime I don't like callout posts in 2018: i went through this user's youtube like history and found a video from JonTron that they liked in 2012, proving that they're a bad person callout posts in 2019: this user plays E-Rated Video Games, which are meant for children, which seems pretty sus to me idk :/ callout posts in 2020: this user stole 5 gallons of purified water from the New DC Resistance Camp and was last seen headed towards Sunken Brooklyn ave-aria what I REALLY don't like is this post was made in 2017

discourse callout post callout boneghazi nazi godwin point anime jontron 2019-2020 coronavirus outbreak coronavirus lockdown apocalypse water prediction prophecy 2017 2020 future vision

TFW Google Made You a Spider

THIS GENERATION WAS THE FIRST TO BE RAISED ONLINE Google TAUGHT MEWHERE THE CLIT IS tumblr TAUGHT ME HATE You Tube TAUGHT MEGONDAM STYLE Vine GAVE ME ADHD deviantART TAUGHT MEPEOPLE ARE REALLY F----- UP Blogger TAUGHT ME TOwhat the f--- is blog facebook. TAUGHT MEALL MY FRIENDS FUCKINS SUCK Instagram TAUGHT ME TO FILTER PEOPLE WILL BUY ANY S--- Etsy TAUGHT ME YOU MAKE IT OUT OF STRING AND BEADS twitter TAUGHT ME The Iron Shek ghe utheik Aa Nantcy Grace YOU FAT DUAG BTCHI Ceat he tuck out of you tak bad atout my wresting brother GO F--- YOURSELF YOU DEAD DOG W----

THIS GENERATION WAS THE FIRST TO BE RAISED ONLINE Google TAUGHT MEWHERE THE CLIT IS tumblr TAUGHT ME HATE You Tube TAUGHT MEGONDAM STYLE Vine GAVE ME ADHD deviantART TAUGHT MEPEOPLE ARE REALLY F----- UP Blogger TAUGHT ME TOwhat the f--- is blog facebook. TAUGHT MEALL MY FRIENDS FUCKINS SUCK Instagram TAUGHT ME TO FILTER PEOPLE WILL BUY ANY S--- Etsy TAUGHT ME YOU MAKE IT OUT OF STRING AND BEADS twitter TAUGHT ME The Iron Shek ghe utheik Aa Nantcy Grace YOU FAT DUAG BTCHI Ceat he tuck out of you tak bad atout my wresting brother GO F--- YOURSELF YOU DEAD DOG W----

google tumblr johnny test twitter

Gamers are now executing game devs

Another game developer chooses death by caving to SJWS Raging Golden Eagle 69,585 views 9:59 ceeberoni wait wait wait are gamers now executing gamedevs who try and be less s----- or ceeberoni gamedev: hey im gonna make a protag who's not a cishet white dude gamers: then die (pulls the trigger) ceeberoni ppl are complaining that im not talking about what the actual video covers in my joke so from what i gathered it should really be: gamedev: hey im gonna give these character less tiddy gamers: then die (pulls the trigger)

Another game developer chooses death by caving to SJWS Raging Golden Eagle 69,585 views 9:59 ceeberoni wait wait wait are gamers now executing gamedevs who try and be less s----- or ceeberoni gamedev: hey im gonna make a protag who's not a cishet white dude gamers: then die (pulls the trigger) ceeberoni ppl are complaining that im not talking about what the actual video covers in my joke so from what i gathered it should really be: gamedev: hey im gonna give these character less tiddy gamers: then die (pulls the trigger)

propaganda

tchaikovskaya none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you? tchaikovskaya its when a british person takes a good look at something ashleyetc this is legitimately the absolute funniest thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts, thank you for your service

tchaikovskaya none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you? tchaikovskaya its when a british person takes a good look at something ashleyetc this is legitimately the absolute funniest thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts, thank you for your service

british british accent propaganda

the black death workers

vampireapologist Hey guys I just found out in this class that during the Black Death, aka The Great Mortality, the gravediggers guild in Florence negotiated themselves a higher salary and political power because they were suddenly the unexpendable laborers supporting society..Just An Idea from 700 years ago Source: vampireapologist 6,203 notes

vampireapologist Hey guys I just found out in this class that during the Black Death, aka The Great Mortality, the gravediggers guild in Florence negotiated themselves a higher salary and political power because they were suddenly the unexpendable laborers supporting society..Just An Idea from 700 years ago Source: vampireapologist 6,203 notes

workers increased salaries black death

helpful tips

spinel-is-baby y'all ever remember something extremely embarrassing and just feel horrible about it fuuzis-trash-dump Pro Tip: Try to think of something embarrassing some else has done. You probably can't. Which means no one else remembers the cringe thing you did. spinel-is-baby wait that actually helps so much Source: spinel-is-baby 37,427 notes

spinel-is-baby y'all ever remember something extremely embarrassing and just feel horrible about it fuuzis-trash-dump Pro Tip: Try to think of something embarrassing some else has done. You probably can't. Which means no one else remembers the cringe thing you did. spinel-is-baby wait that actually helps so much Source: spinel-is-baby 37,427 notes

cringe memories embarrassing advice forgotten motivational

scents

Do you ever catch a whiff of a scent that smells unmistakably of something really random like the twenty-third day of first grade and you're just like hOW DID I REMEMBER THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUT THIS INTO WORDS

Do you ever catch a whiff of a scent that smells unmistakably of something really random like the twenty-third day of first grade and you're just like hOW DID I REMEMBER THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUT THIS INTO WORDS

scents memories kindergarten

aliens

kmart aliens humans

adam and eve

just-shower-thoughts Adam and Eve had to raise teenagers, but they were never teenagers beforehand. teaboot Eve holding the first ever baby: what the F--- is thiS teaboot Adam, talking to God: hey buddy so uh I don't know if this is like "normal- or what but my wife just shat out a fat bald monkey and now it won't stop screaming? Are you doing okay up there bro 5,784 notes

just-shower-thoughts Adam and Eve had to raise teenagers, but they were never teenagers beforehand. teaboot Eve holding the first ever baby: what the F--- is thiS teaboot Adam, talking to God: hey buddy so uh I don't know if this is like "normal- or what but my wife just shat out a fat bald monkey and now it won't stop screaming? Are you doing okay up there bro 5,784 notes

adam and eve teenagers god