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Tale of a brain cell

gaynbowquartz I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver e alohammora When it bounces perfectly in the corner i experience a Thought

gaynbowquartz I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver e alohammora When it bounces perfectly in the corner i experience a Thought

brain cell thought

cultured eggs

chromeofficial me: chickens love classical music u: proof? me: *takes u to the chicken farm* chickens: bach bach bach bach bach turcl i hate this

chromeofficial me: chickens love classical music u: proof? me: *takes u to the chicken farm* chickens: bach bach bach bach bach turcl i hate this

puns bach classical music chickens

not sure the prince would be looking for her

etct Follow RACISM F--- imagine youre cinderella and youre running away from the ball and your. actually i cant tell which shoe would be funnier to lose Source: etct

etct Follow RACISM F--- imagine youre cinderella and youre running away from the ball and your. actually i cant tell which shoe would be funnier to lose Source: etct

cinderella shoes slippers

Siblings

pansexuowl S hellobendykitty Follow 2 writing-prompt-s Follow You're the town's superhero. Your greatest enemy is the town's supervillian. However, secretly, your both brothers. This isn't anything tragic, as your whole destructive rivalry is actually just a massive prank on your third brother, the mayor. bisexualdisaster106 Follow finally, a realistic sibling relationship in the media 58,095 notes

pansexuowl S hellobendykitty Follow 2 writing-prompt-s Follow You're the town's superhero. Your greatest enemy is the town's supervillian. However, secretly, your both brothers. This isn't anything tragic, as your whole destructive rivalry is actually just a massive prank on your third brother, the mayor. bisexualdisaster106 Follow finally, a realistic sibling relationship in the media 58,095 notes

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Pandemic Vibes

yesterdaysprint Follow These flu masks are really a fine thing. For the homely person they are a regular godsend and for the handsome ones they give that added touch of mystery that is so appealing to the average person. Douglas Island News, Alaska, November 15, 1918 futureevilscientist Follow Nothing like absolutely VIBING with people who lived 102 years ago 59,910 notes A

yesterdaysprint Follow These flu masks are really a fine thing. For the homely person they are a regular godsend and for the handsome ones they give that added touch of mystery that is so appealing to the average person. Douglas Island News, Alaska, November 15, 1918 futureevilscientist Follow Nothing like absolutely VIBING with people who lived 102 years ago 59,910 notes A

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Rust Removal

draeneis someone: coca cola can remove rust from metal imagine what its doing to your body me: pff getting rid of the rust idiot tomo-takehito THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS draeneis hmm.. i've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where youre getting your facts from...

draeneis someone: coca cola can remove rust from metal imagine what its doing to your body me: pff getting rid of the rust idiot tomo-takehito THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS draeneis hmm.. i've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where youre getting your facts from...

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Doing Nothing

indiedreams Don't invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed bana05 This is legit and people don't realize it. indianajjones "hey what are you doing?" "nothing" "oh great! so you are avaliab-" "no you don't understand. I'm doing nothing." embyrr922 I'm doing nothing. Actively. It's important. Source: indiedreams 540,042 notes A

indiedreams Don't invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed bana05 This is legit and people don't realize it. indianajjones "hey what are you doing?" "nothing" "oh great! so you are avaliab-" "no you don't understand. I'm doing nothing." embyrr922 I'm doing nothing. Actively. It's important. Source: indiedreams 540,042 notes A

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Yeah Buoy

YEAH BUOY friendlycoolguy ive been thinking about this for months and i had to get it off my chest so i opened uop photoshop and put this togehter

YEAH BUOY friendlycoolguy ive been thinking about this for months and i had to get it off my chest so i opened uop photoshop and put this togehter

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Gatherer

corpish when i was a freshman our RA's name was Hunter but he was vegan so we ended up nicknaming him Gatherer and i still haven't gotten over that Imao thisiswhereipoststuffs During high school, some of us German students went on this exchange trip to Europe. One of the kids in our group was named Myles, and so we decided to call him Kilometers while we were staying in Europe

corpish when i was a freshman our RA's name was Hunter but he was vegan so we ended up nicknaming him Gatherer and i still haven't gotten over that Imao thisiswhereipoststuffs During high school, some of us German students went on this exchange trip to Europe. One of the kids in our group was named Myles, and so we decided to call him Kilometers while we were staying in Europe

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Twinkies in a Nutshell

floozys do you ever eat some disappointing junk food and it's like. i'm clogging my arteries for THIS? a-fashion-killa Things on this site are so oddly specific yet accurate Source: floozys 214,480 notes

floozys do you ever eat some disappointing junk food and it's like. i'm clogging my arteries for THIS? a-fashion-killa Things on this site are so oddly specific yet accurate Source: floozys 214,480 notes

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The Rules of Uno

UNO UNO @realUNOgame You cannot play a +2 on a +2. 9:16 PM 08 Oct 20 Twitter Web App 828 Retweets 9,412 Quote Tweets 3,603 Likes G Kraigar stan account B @Wagner. 1h v Replying to @realUNOgame Thank you for the cards but we'll take it from here 25 t7 610 5,072 darksteel-relic Follow The only rules of Uno are what you can convince the rest of the table the rules are.

UNO UNO @realUNOgame You cannot play a +2 on a +2. 9:16 PM 08 Oct 20 Twitter Web App 828 Retweets 9,412 Quote Tweets 3,603 Likes G Kraigar stan account B @Wagner. 1h v Replying to @realUNOgame Thank you for the cards but we'll take it from here 25 t7 610 5,072 darksteel-relic Follow The only rules of Uno are what you can convince the rest of the table the rules are.

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A Weird Trivia Fact

ghostclvb: bundyspooks: In the movie American Psycho, Christian Bale based the main character on a Letterman interview featuring Tom Cruise in 1999. When asked about the inspiration behind Patrick Bateman, he replied: "Tom Cruise on David Letterman had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes." Every day of my life I think about this fact. Every single day.

ghostclvb: bundyspooks: In the movie American Psycho, Christian Bale based the main character on a Letterman interview featuring Tom Cruise in 1999. When asked about the inspiration behind Patrick Bateman, he replied: "Tom Cruise on David Letterman had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes." Every day of my life I think about this fact. Every single day.

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A Dad Joke

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Imade a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. Icall it my Trail Mix. statecryptids *slowly closes laptop and stares pensively into sunset* "At last, I have found it. The dad joke to end all dad jokes.."

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Imade a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. Icall it my Trail Mix. statecryptids *slowly closes laptop and stares pensively into sunset* "At last, I have found it. The dad joke to end all dad jokes.."

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Medical Malpractice Lawsuit Coming Soon

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Phone Books

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Science Penguin

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Check Back in 4 Years

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5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

catlips001 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and catlips001 autopasta was diagnosed with mesothelioma. Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said ask-cloud-skipper you might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies

catlips001 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and catlips001 autopasta was diagnosed with mesothelioma. Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said ask-cloud-skipper you might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies

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Translating Shakespeare

stillthelouvres ROMEO: I dreamt a dream tonight. MERCUTIO: And so did I. ROMEO: Well, what was yours? MERCUTIO: That dreamers often lie. romeo and juliet (1.4) - william shakespeare gayred5 romeo: i had this intense af dream last night bro mercutio: oh so did i romeo: what did u dream dude mercutio: that ur full of

stillthelouvres ROMEO: I dreamt a dream tonight. MERCUTIO: And so did I. ROMEO: Well, what was yours? MERCUTIO: That dreamers often lie. romeo and juliet (1.4) - william shakespeare gayred5 romeo: i had this intense af dream last night bro mercutio: oh so did i romeo: what did u dream dude mercutio: that ur full of

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Listen to the Wine

If you encounter wine snobs, confuse them by using this move SLPT: Confuse those wine snobs by "hearing the wine zombiebiologist so i told my mom about this post before she and my dad went on a trip to napa, and she was delighted to try this out and apparently, when she straight-faced, lifted her glass of chardonnay to her ear and swirled it, she baffled the other winery-goers so much that they all instinctively did exactly the same thing. that sort of crowd-think, that you aren't quite sure what's right but you'll be damned if you're mistaken for the plebian that you are but watching that was enough for my mom to lose her composure, laugh so hard she cried, and spill the entire glass all over herself, in the process getting kicked out of the winery so long story short do this at your own risk

If you encounter wine snobs, confuse them by using this move SLPT: Confuse those wine snobs by "hearing the wine zombiebiologist so i told my mom about this post before she and my dad went on a trip to napa, and she was delighted to try this out and apparently, when she straight-faced, lifted her glass of chardonnay to her ear and swirled it, she baffled the other winery-goers so much that they all instinctively did exactly the same thing. that sort of crowd-think, that you aren't quite sure what's right but you'll be damned if you're mistaken for the plebian that you are but watching that was enough for my mom to lose her composure, laugh so hard she cried, and spill the entire glass all over herself, in the process getting kicked out of the winery so long story short do this at your own risk

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