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Look At Me

teamrocketing Follow thinking about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said "if it hurts, you can rinse your eye with boiled water. look at me - look at me. i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down. not boiling water. do you understand?" like i'm so grateful for this man ensuring that I wouldn't destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it, because it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence weaselle Follow this is a man who has experienced The Public keepcalmandcarrieunderwood Follow "Look at me"

teamrocketing Follow thinking about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said "if it hurts, you can rinse your eye with boiled water. look at me - look at me. i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down. not boiling water. do you understand?" like i'm so grateful for this man ensuring that I wouldn't destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it, because it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence weaselle Follow this is a man who has experienced The Public keepcalmandcarrieunderwood Follow "Look at me"

Two More Wishes

generalgrievousdatingsim i want to be radioactive but not like lethally or anything. just slightly above average so that when people try to take photos of me the image is grainy and blurred and geiger counters click ominously when i'm nearby. y'know, fun stuff.

generalgrievousdatingsim i want to be radioactive but not like lethally or anything. just slightly above average so that when people try to take photos of me the image is grainy and blurred and geiger counters click ominously when i'm nearby. y'know, fun stuff.

It Used To Be So Easy

al-jamilsisters Me (as a child): why are all the songs about love? Mom: someday you will understand Me (now as an adult): seriously why are all the songs about love and this is ridiculous ace-cryptozoologist Follow Bring back the cowboy songs about beating the devil in a music contest Source: dhdingo 101,769 notes > D

al-jamilsisters Me (as a child): why are all the songs about love? Mom: someday you will understand Me (now as an adult): seriously why are all the songs about love and this is ridiculous ace-cryptozoologist Follow Bring back the cowboy songs about beating the devil in a music contest Source: dhdingo 101,769 notes > D

Creepy

tilthat TIL there is a Cyrillic letter so rare it is only used in the phrase “many- eyed Seraphim" via http://ift.tt/2qZa2nY garden-ghoul Follow and it looks like THIS aka the only possible appropriate character for talking about angels ladyowlett Follow If somebody is curious, this is how multiocular O looks in the Book of Psalms of 15th century

tilthat TIL there is a Cyrillic letter so rare it is only used in the phrase “many- eyed Seraphim" via http://ift.tt/2qZa2nY garden-ghoul Follow and it looks like THIS aka the only possible appropriate character for talking about angels ladyowlett Follow If somebody is curious, this is how multiocular O looks in the Book of Psalms of 15th century

The Serf Knows All

memewhore Follow Sep 30, 2021 Sophie @jil_slander Girls with Ouija board: omg ok does Josh have a crush on Katie Me, the spirit of a Medieval serf: man I don't f----- know. Sure coolberniebernie Follow Oct 30, 2021 Damn what kind of unfinished business does a medieval serf have that couldn't be completed in 1,000 years? takaska Follow Oct 31, 2021 they want to see the fall of the monarchy 45,564 notes 2:58 PM

memewhore Follow Sep 30, 2021 Sophie @jil_slander Girls with Ouija board: omg ok does Josh have a crush on Katie Me, the spirit of a Medieval serf: man I don't f----- know. Sure coolberniebernie Follow Oct 30, 2021 Damn what kind of unfinished business does a medieval serf have that couldn't be completed in 1,000 years? takaska Follow Oct 31, 2021 they want to see the fall of the monarchy 45,564 notes 2:58 PM

You Hate To See It

frogmoss1 Follow when hamsters are born they see a silver thread that connects them to their gruesome and peculiar death and they follow it like soldiers marching to war.

frogmoss1 Follow when hamsters are born they see a silver thread that connects them to their gruesome and peculiar death and they follow it like soldiers marching to war.

Jerry Seinfeld

goopy-amethyst Black + Green: Radioactive Black + Blue: Futuristic Black + Red: Edgy Black + Yellow: ??? iapislazuli according to all known laws of aviation, goopy-amethyst day by day I regret making this post Source: goopy-amethyst 17,125 notes

goopy-amethyst Black + Green: Radioactive Black + Blue: Futuristic Black + Red: Edgy Black + Yellow: ??? iapislazuli according to all known laws of aviation, goopy-amethyst day by day I regret making this post Source: goopy-amethyst 17,125 notes

Fast Learner

wow-david My parrot has a vague understanding of the word "no." He knows to stop doing what he's doing when he hears it, and he knows how to say it. He knows it's a word that is used when he's doing something he shouldn't be doing. However, being told "no" doesn't make him stop doing it in future. If he's ever out of my sight or if I'm not paying attention, I know exactly when he's doing something bad. Because he says "no" to himself as he does it.

wow-david My parrot has a vague understanding of the word "no." He knows to stop doing what he's doing when he hears it, and he knows how to say it. He knows it's a word that is used when he's doing something he shouldn't be doing. However, being told "no" doesn't make him stop doing it in future. If he's ever out of my sight or if I'm not paying attention, I know exactly when he's doing something bad. Because he says "no" to himself as he does it.

Fatal Mistake

gen-z-culture-is Follow According To A Survey, Gen Z Is More Likely To Recognise Sonic The Hedgehog Than Shakespeare justlgbtthings Follow well yeah how is shakespeare gonna recognize a blue hedgehog when he's dead justlgbtthings Follow i have misunderstood the post 18,421 notes

gen-z-culture-is Follow According To A Survey, Gen Z Is More Likely To Recognise Sonic The Hedgehog Than Shakespeare justlgbtthings Follow well yeah how is shakespeare gonna recognize a blue hedgehog when he's dead justlgbtthings Follow i have misunderstood the post 18,421 notes

tumblr reddit shakespeare sonic

Deep Thoughts

teaboot Follow One of the things I resent most about being Animal Brain Apex Predator trapped in Maximum Productivity Society is that I have to work when the weather is gross, instead of following my natural instinct to burrow myself into something dry and soft and sleep until Optimal Foraging Conditions teaboot Follow It is dark and cold and wet and miserable and I have a warm dark quiet hideaway full of food and drinking water that is safe from interlopers and for some ungodly reason instead of holing up there to conserve my energy, I am standing up in a brightly lit beige room for several hours. A possum wouldn't put up with this s---. I'm going to bite someone 9,270 notes

teaboot Follow One of the things I resent most about being Animal Brain Apex Predator trapped in Maximum Productivity Society is that I have to work when the weather is gross, instead of following my natural instinct to burrow myself into something dry and soft and sleep until Optimal Foraging Conditions teaboot Follow It is dark and cold and wet and miserable and I have a warm dark quiet hideaway full of food and drinking water that is safe from interlopers and for some ungodly reason instead of holing up there to conserve my energy, I am standing up in a brightly lit beige room for several hours. A possum wouldn't put up with this s---. I'm going to bite someone 9,270 notes

Enlightening

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses ... S biggest-gaudiest-patr... the fun thing about english/literature class is that no matter your feelings towards english/ literature as a subject, there is always That One F------ Short Story that you remember decades later because holy hotdogs that was a f----- up thing to make a 10th grader read biggest-gaudiest-patronuses the notes are Enlightening 4,289 notes

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses ... S biggest-gaudiest-patr... the fun thing about english/literature class is that no matter your feelings towards english/ literature as a subject, there is always That One F------ Short Story that you remember decades later because holy hotdogs that was a f----- up thing to make a 10th grader read biggest-gaudiest-patronuses the notes are Enlightening 4,289 notes

Kitchen Wizard

weeniebagel shutterstcck OMATINGAY SH "Damn your fool's mind, Randy, the mists of dream still you know my Amulet of Saros allows www.shutterstock.com 390088588 me passage through all portals, physical and arcane. I came here as this apartment provides protection from the mental ravaging of that invokingbees "Really, Carl? Really? Christ, I knew the breakup Walk into your kitchen at 3am and this wizard is waiting for you, having drunk your beer and sampled, but disliked, your potato chips, hasn't done the dishes, and he isn't happy dark sorceress, Cindy, gods blast her name! with Cindy was bad-but not THIS bad! How'd Your fermented beverages are all that have you even get in my house? Why are the Utz all over the floor? Wh- how did you get in my kept me from darkness this night, Randy, would you turn me away in this hour of terror?" house!?" What do you do? Source: invokingbees POTATO O

weeniebagel shutterstcck OMATINGAY SH "Damn your fool's mind, Randy, the mists of dream still you know my Amulet of Saros allows www.shutterstock.com 390088588 me passage through all portals, physical and arcane. I came here as this apartment provides protection from the mental ravaging of that invokingbees "Really, Carl? Really? Christ, I knew the breakup Walk into your kitchen at 3am and this wizard is waiting for you, having drunk your beer and sampled, but disliked, your potato chips, hasn't done the dishes, and he isn't happy dark sorceress, Cindy, gods blast her name! with Cindy was bad-but not THIS bad! How'd Your fermented beverages are all that have you even get in my house? Why are the Utz all over the floor? Wh- how did you get in my kept me from darkness this night, Randy, would you turn me away in this hour of terror?" house!?" What do you do? Source: invokingbees POTATO O

wizard kitchen breakup beer tumblr

I think we all know a character who fits this description

dummyracoon Follow we all know who is it EVIL CHARACTER EVIL CHARACTER WHO IS ALSO A RESPONSIBLE PARENT

dummyracoon Follow we all know who is it EVIL CHARACTER EVIL CHARACTER WHO IS ALSO A RESPONSIBLE PARENT

villain parent character

Magic as Genres

sexhaver what if magic was real but it was treated the way music is now with different genres and like "oh youre still into conjuring? thats cool I guess. recently ive been getting into third-wave post- necromancy, it's some pretty heavy stuff" chorusofravenousangels "what do you mean you've never learned FIREBALL, it's a CLASSIC" "idk I'm not really into evocations." "how can you not be into ANY evocations?" "well, it's kind of dad magic, isn't it?"

sexhaver what if magic was real but it was treated the way music is now with different genres and like "oh youre still into conjuring? thats cool I guess. recently ive been getting into third-wave post- necromancy, it's some pretty heavy stuff" chorusofravenousangels "what do you mean you've never learned FIREBALL, it's a CLASSIC" "idk I'm not really into evocations." "how can you not be into ANY evocations?" "well, it's kind of dad magic, isn't it?"

magic music genres

Rasputin theories

s applepon glumshoe I really think Rasputin lucked out, in that being remembered by history as some species of giant unkillable sex wizard is something most of us can only fruitlessly aspire to. thisisatesttai He didn't luck out, he worked hard for that rep glumshoe he really didn't though he was just kind of a garden-variety creep, but the rumor mill did all the work for him and now he's a banger disco song glumshoe Oh l'm sorry can YOU heal Alexi Nicholaevich's haemophilia? Didn't think so. gaul-the-unmitigated to be fair, neither could Rasputin. Alexei very much continued to have haemophilia. isn't the current theory that he seemed to heal faster and have more spoons when Rasputin was around because Rasputin wouldn't let the doctors give him aspirin, a blood thinner? plague-chan-vs-the-world Ra Ra Rasputin Russia's wellness scamming fiend glumshoe RASPUTIN HEALS E prokopetz Fun fact: the conspirator who'd been made responsible for preparing the poison for Rasputin, Stanislaus de Lazovert, was a medical intern who'd studied under the exact same doctor who kept trying to treat Tsarevich Alexei's hemophilia with aspirin. Like, I feel like this should be taken into account when evaluating reports of Rasputin's miraculous immunity to poison. balderich-the-dead Did the guy who shot him also study under that doctor? E prokopetz No, Felix Yusupov was just a useless nerd who thought he knew how murder worked because he'd read a book. Based on the available historical evidence, the most likely sequence of events is as follows: • The conspirators attempt to kill Rasputin with poison-laced cakes, but fail; it's unknown whether this is because de Lazovert f----- up the poison, because Rasputin – who had a well-known dislike of sweets – didn't go in on the cakes as heavily as they expected, or just because a poisoned cake is a really stupid idea. • Seeing that the poison has failed, Yusupov gets Rasputin alone for a moment and shoots him once in the chest, causing him to fall senseless to the floor. Because he's a useless nerd who thinks he knows how murder works because he read a book, Yusupov is unaware that a single handgun shot is very unlikely to be immediately fatal, and neglects to finish Rasputin off, instead leaving the room to confer with his fellow conspirators. • When the conspirators return to retrieve Rasputin's body, he recovers from the shock of the initial gunshot and attacks them. Following some general panic, a third conspirator, Vladimir Purishkevich, opens up guns blazing; Purishkevich manages to miss several times in spite of being at point-blank range, but eventually strikes Rasputin in the head, killing him instantly. • The conspirators beat the s--- out of Rasputin's body just to be sure, then proceed to make a complete clownshow out of disposing of the corpse; the remainder of Rasputin's injuries are sustained postmortem. Pretty much everything else about Rasputin's miraculous invincibility is invented whole cloth, much of it by Yusupov himself in order to build himself up in his own published memoirs. (As icing on the incompetently poisoned cake, elements of Yusupov's memoirs were later incorporated into the 1932 film Rasputin and the Empress, which led to Yusupov suing MGM Studios for libel because the film strongly implies that Rasputin was f------ Yusupov's wife. The precedent set by that lawsuit is the reason those "similarities to any real person living or dead are coincidental" disclaimers exist.) naamahdarling That last fact took me off at the knees. Source: glumshoe 83,382 notes Jul 2nd, 2021

s applepon glumshoe I really think Rasputin lucked out, in that being remembered by history as some species of giant unkillable sex wizard is something most of us can only fruitlessly aspire to. thisisatesttai He didn't luck out, he worked hard for that rep glumshoe he really didn't though he was just kind of a garden-variety creep, but the rumor mill did all the work for him and now he's a banger disco song glumshoe Oh l'm sorry can YOU heal Alexi Nicholaevich's haemophilia? Didn't think so. gaul-the-unmitigated to be fair, neither could Rasputin. Alexei very much continued to have haemophilia. isn't the current theory that he seemed to heal faster and have more spoons when Rasputin was around because Rasputin wouldn't let the doctors give him aspirin, a blood thinner? plague-chan-vs-the-world Ra Ra Rasputin Russia's wellness scamming fiend glumshoe RASPUTIN HEALS E prokopetz Fun fact: the conspirator who'd been made responsible for preparing the poison for Rasputin, Stanislaus de Lazovert, was a medical intern who'd studied under the exact same doctor who kept trying to treat Tsarevich Alexei's hemophilia with aspirin. Like, I feel like this should be taken into account when evaluating reports of Rasputin's miraculous immunity to poison. balderich-the-dead Did the guy who shot him also study under that doctor? E prokopetz No, Felix Yusupov was just a useless nerd who thought he knew how murder worked because he'd read a book. Based on the available historical evidence, the most likely sequence of events is as follows: • The conspirators attempt to kill Rasputin with poison-laced cakes, but fail; it's unknown whether this is because de Lazovert f----- up the poison, because Rasputin – who had a well-known dislike of sweets – didn't go in on the cakes as heavily as they expected, or just because a poisoned cake is a really stupid idea. • Seeing that the poison has failed, Yusupov gets Rasputin alone for a moment and shoots him once in the chest, causing him to fall senseless to the floor. Because he's a useless nerd who thinks he knows how murder works because he read a book, Yusupov is unaware that a single handgun shot is very unlikely to be immediately fatal, and neglects to finish Rasputin off, instead leaving the room to confer with his fellow conspirators. • When the conspirators return to retrieve Rasputin's body, he recovers from the shock of the initial gunshot and attacks them. Following some general panic, a third conspirator, Vladimir Purishkevich, opens up guns blazing; Purishkevich manages to miss several times in spite of being at point-blank range, but eventually strikes Rasputin in the head, killing him instantly. • The conspirators beat the s--- out of Rasputin's body just to be sure, then proceed to make a complete clownshow out of disposing of the corpse; the remainder of Rasputin's injuries are sustained postmortem. Pretty much everything else about Rasputin's miraculous invincibility is invented whole cloth, much of it by Yusupov himself in order to build himself up in his own published memoirs. (As icing on the incompetently poisoned cake, elements of Yusupov's memoirs were later incorporated into the 1932 film Rasputin and the Empress, which led to Yusupov suing MGM Studios for libel because the film strongly implies that Rasputin was f------ Yusupov's wife. The precedent set by that lawsuit is the reason those "similarities to any real person living or dead are coincidental" disclaimers exist.) naamahdarling That last fact took me off at the knees. Source: glumshoe 83,382 notes Jul 2nd, 2021

rasputin history assassination doctor

Is there a specific name for that bottom pic?

McDonald's who Wants to do this ? what makes this even funnier to me is that it's a Skyline GT-R, a car that was only made for the Japanese market, meaning it's right hand drive. which means that if you wanted to go through a drive thru that's made for left hand drive cars, you would have to go in reverse in order to be on the side with the drive thru window

McDonald's who Wants to do this ? what makes this even funnier to me is that it's a Skyline GT-R, a car that was only made for the Japanese market, meaning it's right hand drive. which means that if you wanted to go through a drive thru that's made for left hand drive cars, you would have to go in reverse in order to be on the side with the drive thru window

mcdonald’s drivethrough skyline gt-r

A collection of guns

archillect guns

Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link (1987)

live1967 Follow i hope i don't have to fight my evil shadow self today die1967 Follow hey live1967 Follow no f------ way 37,069 notes

live1967 Follow i hope i don't have to fight my evil shadow self today die1967 Follow hey live1967 Follow no f------ way 37,069 notes

Taking over the world doesn't mean you have to treat your loved ones like shit

lady-of-the-spirit Villains who are in romantic relationships but abuse their partners are so goddamn boring. I want villains who are absolute bastards, absolutely villains, but who are loving and caring and attentive partners anyway. Taking over the world doesn't mean you have to treat your loved ones like s---. 1disorientedanddisabled1 *villian talking to tied up hero* "AND IN THE PROCESS, I WILL DESTROY ALL LAW AND ORDER ON OUR PLANET, AND DEVOLVE THE HUMAN RACE INTO CHAOS, KILLING MILLIONS, HAHAHAH-" "Honey, it's time for dinner" "Um babe? Il'm kind of in the middle of something" "Oh I'm sorry dear. I didn't know" "It's alright" "I'Il heat it up when your ready. I made chicken parm, your favorite" "You're a doll, Cindy. I don't know how I'm lucky enough to have you" 14,874 notes ...

lady-of-the-spirit Villains who are in romantic relationships but abuse their partners are so goddamn boring. I want villains who are absolute bastards, absolutely villains, but who are loving and caring and attentive partners anyway. Taking over the world doesn't mean you have to treat your loved ones like s---. 1disorientedanddisabled1 *villian talking to tied up hero* "AND IN THE PROCESS, I WILL DESTROY ALL LAW AND ORDER ON OUR PLANET, AND DEVOLVE THE HUMAN RACE INTO CHAOS, KILLING MILLIONS, HAHAHAH-" "Honey, it's time for dinner" "Um babe? Il'm kind of in the middle of something" "Oh I'm sorry dear. I didn't know" "It's alright" "I'Il heat it up when your ready. I made chicken parm, your favorite" "You're a doll, Cindy. I don't know how I'm lucky enough to have you" 14,874 notes ...

villains writing love

working in tech service tumblr story

lesbardian my friend works for a tech service and is one of those guys you call to help you with tech issues and he walks you through them and even can like take over your computer to help and ect. anyways i will never stop thinking about how he told me everyone in his company fears west virginia like when they get a call and see its a west virgnia area code they hate answering bc thats where they get the wildest calls from. One time thousands of people were out of internet and they were all calling in to complain and he had to tell multiple people "im sorry theres some guy with a shot gun driving around and shooting out the internet boxes there is literally nothing we can do. the police are trying to catch him." and like. people wouldnt take this as an answer theyd be like well can you fix it and hes like. theres. theres a guy with a shotgun. thats a little out of our area of expertise.

lesbardian my friend works for a tech service and is one of those guys you call to help you with tech issues and he walks you through them and even can like take over your computer to help and ect. anyways i will never stop thinking about how he told me everyone in his company fears west virginia like when they get a call and see its a west virgnia area code they hate answering bc thats where they get the wildest calls from. One time thousands of people were out of internet and they were all calling in to complain and he had to tell multiple people "im sorry theres some guy with a shot gun driving around and shooting out the internet boxes there is literally nothing we can do. the police are trying to catch him." and like. people wouldnt take this as an answer theyd be like well can you fix it and hes like. theres. theres a guy with a shotgun. thats a little out of our area of expertise.

post west virginia shooting internet boxes shotgun shot gun police issues it