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Anon is khv | /r/Greentext

I wasted my teenage years. >didn't do drugs >didn't start a relationship or have sex >didn't have friends >didn't learn an instrument and 125 KB JPG start a s--- band >didn't go to sleepovers >only ever skipped school to stay home & cry >don't have any photos of myself because I never took any >didn't get a min wage summer job >didn't go to summer camp >don't have any interesting stories about my teenage years >didn't even try, really I'll never get those years back. I squandered them doing literally nothing. What have I done?
I wasted my teenage years. >didn't do drugs >didn't start a relationship or have sex >didn't have friends >didn't learn an instrument and 125 KB JPG start a s--- band >didn't go to sleepovers >only ever skipped school to stay home & cry >don't have any photos of myself because I never took any >didn't get a min wage summer job >didn't go to summer camp >don't have any interesting stories about my teenage years >didn't even try, really I'll never get those years back. I squandered them doing literally nothing. What have I done?

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Anon and the Chad | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous Good Chad Stories 10/19/18(Fri)17:56:42 No.4879715 >be me >about 2 years ago meve o >junior in high school >no friends >reading a light novel before gym in the changing room >chad senior walks up to me 264 KB JPG >"hey man i respect the grind" >comments on how he saw me everyday reading >says he's never seen someone like me these days >try really hard not to let him see the cover >he sees it anyway >"aw dude i love anime" >proceed to talk about dragon ball and mainstream s--- for a minute >time to go to gym >give him an awkward fist bump It's the closest i've gotten to a chad. I don't know where he is but I wish him the best. I Reply View Thread
E Anonymous Good Chad Stories 10/19/18(Fri)17:56:42 No.4879715 >be me >about 2 years ago meve o >junior in high school >no friends >reading a light novel before gym in the changing room >chad senior walks up to me 264 KB JPG >"hey man i respect the grind" >comments on how he saw me everyday reading >says he's never seen someone like me these days >try really hard not to let him see the cover >he sees it anyway >"aw dude i love anime" >proceed to talk about dragon ball and mainstream s--- for a minute >time to go to gym >give him an awkward fist bump It's the closest i've gotten to a chad. I don't know where he is but I wish him the best. I Reply View Thread

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Anon has ashy skin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it
Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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Very big F | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Be a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken
: Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Be a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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bringing this one back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds
Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds

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Anon has to do a presentation | /r/Greentext


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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)18:57:25 No.873006722 >browsing /b/ while eating popcorn >reload page >p--- ad loads >mom walks by >looks at computer screen >mfw my mom thinks i'm watching p--- and eating popcorn like i'm at the f------ cinema 267 KB PNG why does weird awkward s--- always happen to me?
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)18:57:25 No.873006722 >browsing /b/ while eating popcorn >reload page >p--- ad loads >mom walks by >looks at computer screen >mfw my mom thinks i'm watching p--- and eating popcorn like i'm at the f------ cinema 267 KB PNG why does weird awkward s--- always happen to me?

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mashallah good work brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)22:09:03 No.778606612 let me tell yall a story when i punched a girl WHOMST'D'VE >be me THOTTIN??? >be like 12 at the time >muslim 38 KB JPG >be minding my business in the cafeteria >some guy threw ham and its getting passed down >the girl next to me, knowing that im muslim, still throws the pork at me >f------ punch that thot in front of everyone thot exterminated
: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)22:09:03 No.778606612 let me tell yall a story when i punched a girl WHOMST'D'VE >be me THOTTIN??? >be like 12 at the time >muslim 38 KB JPG >be minding my business in the cafeteria >some guy threw ham and its getting passed down >the girl next to me, knowing that im muslim, still throws the pork at me >f------ punch that thot in front of everyone thot exterminated

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Anons are a threat to Hollywood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:37:36 No.67287565 >enjoy movies >actively pirate every single movie | watch and only buy bootleg merch to not support the creators 54 KB JPG Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:39:15 No.67287594 >>67287565 (OP) Based, i never pay for f------ content. Pirate all them bitches. 163 KB JPG
Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:37:36 No.67287565 >enjoy movies >actively pirate every single movie | watch and only buy bootleg merch to not support the creators 54 KB JPG Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)15:39:15 No.67287594 >>67287565 (OP) Based, i never pay for f------ content. Pirate all them bitches. 163 KB JPG

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Anon schizo posts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)23:09:28 No.866076521 >break up with gf cause she is shoot crazy >says I'll regret if I dont take her back >a week later she shows up in court with bruises >claims I assaulted her >have alibi and evidence it couldn't be me so they can't charge me with s--- >she eventually admits she lied >instead of getting arrested she is forced into some meme therapy that lasts a few weeks >bitch tried to ruin my life and can walk away >few weeks later show up at her place and beat her up >have an alibi I wasn't in town >court immediately assumes she is bullshitting again and she was forced into another six weeks of therapy while I I walked away justice is served, bitch
Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)23:09:28 No.866076521 >break up with gf cause she is shoot crazy >says I'll regret if I dont take her back >a week later she shows up in court with bruises >claims I assaulted her >have alibi and evidence it couldn't be me so they can't charge me with s--- >she eventually admits she lied >instead of getting arrested she is forced into some meme therapy that lasts a few weeks >bitch tried to ruin my life and can walk away >few weeks later show up at her place and beat her up >have an alibi I wasn't in town >court immediately assumes she is bullshitting again and she was forced into another six weeks of therapy while I I walked away justice is served, bitch

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Bootstrap camp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:10:46 No.67494243 >be me at age 20, alcoholic, abandoned by parents years ago >end up broke and homeless >immediately go to construction site and ask for work >sleep there and befriend security guard that night >he shares a bit of his meal with 21 KB JPG me >tired and hungry i work my ass off the next morning >i get paid by the day, cash, sleep on site >save money and buy soap, water bottles, a nice shirt and english-spanish dictionary >work every day and study english in my spare time >work despite rain, hunger, feeling sick and a running nose >i'm afraid of height and i still climb stairs carrying buckets full of tools and whatnot everyday >save money, quality of life improves while still living on site >finish building, repeat process at another site >coworker friends help me in any way they can and encourage me to keep on studying >visit call center and barely pass english and computer skills exam >print the required paper work at local cyber-cafe after showing in a public fountain with soap i just bought >get job at bilingual call center, work my ass off and appreciate every opportunity i'm given >i can't sleep in the office, but i spend as much time as i can there, reading books in my crappy phone and whatnot >english improves, job gets easier and easier, i save money in a bank account now >rent apartment, no longer need to sleep outdoors >purchase bicycle >now i can finally invite a lady to my apartment to watch a movie on my phone or have sex and take her back home when we're done >been sober and employed for years now explain to me again why you can't get back on your feet, get fit, get a job and a relationship? : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:13:50 No.67494274 Your brain works fine. Mine is f-----
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:10:46 No.67494243 >be me at age 20, alcoholic, abandoned by parents years ago >end up broke and homeless >immediately go to construction site and ask for work >sleep there and befriend security guard that night >he shares a bit of his meal with 21 KB JPG me >tired and hungry i work my ass off the next morning >i get paid by the day, cash, sleep on site >save money and buy soap, water bottles, a nice shirt and english-spanish dictionary >work every day and study english in my spare time >work despite rain, hunger, feeling sick and a running nose >i'm afraid of height and i still climb stairs carrying buckets full of tools and whatnot everyday >save money, quality of life improves while still living on site >finish building, repeat process at another site >coworker friends help me in any way they can and encourage me to keep on studying >visit call center and barely pass english and computer skills exam >print the required paper work at local cyber-cafe after showing in a public fountain with soap i just bought >get job at bilingual call center, work my ass off and appreciate every opportunity i'm given >i can't sleep in the office, but i spend as much time as i can there, reading books in my crappy phone and whatnot >english improves, job gets easier and easier, i save money in a bank account now >rent apartment, no longer need to sleep outdoors >purchase bicycle >now i can finally invite a lady to my apartment to watch a movie on my phone or have sex and take her back home when we're done >been sober and employed for years now explain to me again why you can't get back on your feet, get fit, get a job and a relationship? : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)14:13:50 No.67494274 Your brain works fine. Mine is f-----

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Anon is genius husband | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)21:10:15 No.782417303 >Be me >Married with kids, but have no other friends >Wife wants to meet other couples >Been bothering me for a while about it. >Devise a plan >Go to the park with wife and kids 37 KB JPG >Select desired couple >ldentify their kid >Wait until target couple looks away >Toss rock at their kid >crying.mp3 >Wife rushes over to help kid with the first-aid kit she brought >Kids parents come to help >l walk over and to parents and say, "Oh my god I hope he's alright. I saw THIS kid throw a rock at him." >Point to some random kid >MFW they buy it >Start chatting it up with potential friends >introduce our kids to each other >They're grateful for the help and say that we should meet up for dinner sometime >Get their contact information >MFW they are coming over for dinner on Saturday >MFW my wife will never bother me about this again
: Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)21:10:15 No.782417303 >Be me >Married with kids, but have no other friends >Wife wants to meet other couples >Been bothering me for a while about it. >Devise a plan >Go to the park with wife and kids 37 KB JPG >Select desired couple >ldentify their kid >Wait until target couple looks away >Toss rock at their kid >crying.mp3 >Wife rushes over to help kid with the first-aid kit she brought >Kids parents come to help >l walk over and to parents and say, "Oh my god I hope he's alright. I saw THIS kid throw a rock at him." >Point to some random kid >MFW they buy it >Start chatting it up with potential friends >introduce our kids to each other >They're grateful for the help and say that we should meet up for dinner sometime >Get their contact information >MFW they are coming over for dinner on Saturday >MFW my wife will never bother me about this again

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Anon dates a furry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: MOqSTCCO 01/17/17(Tue)11:33:57 No.107429717 >Start dating girl >Find out she's a f------ furry >But she's a solid 8.5/10 >Furry community is actually not that bad, but once they don their outfits I gag 298 KB JPG a little >Find out they want me to go through a trial to join their little group of friends which involves fist fighting with 15 people to gain "Alpha" status in the pack >At the end, besides Alpha status, one of the girls can be chosen for a sexual reward (not going to happen anyway because I'm dating one of these f------ furries) >Find out they've beat the f--- out of people on multiple occasions When in the f--- did furries start turning into gangs? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind socking a couple of these retards, but still, what the f---? Is my willingness to even participate the first sign of mental illness? >>107430205 # >107430206 # >>107430209 # >>107430254 # >107430286 # >>107430323 # >>107430490 # >>107430579 # >>107430660 # >>107431221 # >>107431290 # >>107431416 # >>107432362 # >107432652 # >>107432718 # >107432895 # >>107434765 # >>107435532 # >>107436088 # >>107436212 # >>107437043 # >>107437060 #
: Anonymous (ID: MOqSTCCO 01/17/17(Tue)11:33:57 No.107429717 >Start dating girl >Find out she's a f------ furry >But she's a solid 8.5/10 >Furry community is actually not that bad, but once they don their outfits I gag 298 KB JPG a little >Find out they want me to go through a trial to join their little group of friends which involves fist fighting with 15 people to gain "Alpha" status in the pack >At the end, besides Alpha status, one of the girls can be chosen for a sexual reward (not going to happen anyway because I'm dating one of these f------ furries) >Find out they've beat the f--- out of people on multiple occasions When in the f--- did furries start turning into gangs? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind socking a couple of these retards, but still, what the f---? Is my willingness to even participate the first sign of mental illness? >>107430205 # >107430206 # >>107430209 # >>107430254 # >107430286 # >>107430323 # >>107430490 # >>107430579 # >>107430660 # >>107431221 # >>107431290 # >>107431416 # >>107432362 # >107432652 # >>107432718 # >107432895 # >>107434765 # >>107435532 # >>107436088 # >>107436212 # >>107437043 # >>107437060 #

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Anon impregnates his sister-in-law | /r/Greentext

Вoard /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)12:05:34 No.872969861 >Fling with girl in college >We clicked but ultimately went our separate ways >Married her sister after she introduced us >Years later we're with their fam on vacation at the lakehouse >Alone playing a drunk game of Truth or Truth >"Why don't you two have a baby already?" >Tell her the whole truth >Her sister doesn't want one >In fact we had an abortion >She made me pull out and bust in her mouth a year until she got tubes tied >But I have a breeding fetish >She had a shocked face but was laughing the whole time >Which made it easier to keep sharing >Game got overtly sexual a few rounds >Then asked her the same question >She was quiet a bit and said she thinks her husband is essentially sterile >They'd been trying for awhile now >Said I was sorry to hear that, she said don't be >Somehow got to joking about my fetish fulfilling her need >Joking turned to "joking" >Things moved fast after that >Before you know it we're standing on the sandy beach >With her bent over bracing against the retaining wall >We continued from there >Scheduling always sounded like a business affair >But the sessions were some of the best sex I ever had >True to her word that this was just for the purpose of getting pregnant >She would never call me after the test came up positive >Until the next time she was ready >She has had three of my children so far >>872970056 #
Вoard /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)12:05:34 No.872969861 >Fling with girl in college >We clicked but ultimately went our separate ways >Married her sister after she introduced us >Years later we're with their fam on vacation at the lakehouse >Alone playing a drunk game of Truth or Truth >"Why don't you two have a baby already?" >Tell her the whole truth >Her sister doesn't want one >In fact we had an abortion >She made me pull out and bust in her mouth a year until she got tubes tied >But I have a breeding fetish >She had a shocked face but was laughing the whole time >Which made it easier to keep sharing >Game got overtly sexual a few rounds >Then asked her the same question >She was quiet a bit and said she thinks her husband is essentially sterile >They'd been trying for awhile now >Said I was sorry to hear that, she said don't be >Somehow got to joking about my fetish fulfilling her need >Joking turned to "joking" >Things moved fast after that >Before you know it we're standing on the sandy beach >With her bent over bracing against the retaining wall >We continued from there >Scheduling always sounded like a business affair >But the sessions were some of the best sex I ever had >True to her word that this was just for the purpose of getting pregnant >She would never call me after the test came up positive >Until the next time she was ready >She has had three of my children so far >>872970056 #

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Anon fails a math exam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Hi guys first greentext 02/19/22(Sat)20:23:47 No.67492043 >be me >Just failed my tenth grade math exam >Parents are taking away my computer >Feels bad man 181 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:25:51 No.67492057 >>67492043 (OP) # Please go back to r/greentext or wherever the f--- you came from. : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:33:53 No.67492112 >>67492043 (OP) # >Hi gu- kys
: Anonymous Hi guys first greentext 02/19/22(Sat)20:23:47 No.67492043 >be me >Just failed my tenth grade math exam >Parents are taking away my computer >Feels bad man 181 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:25:51 No.67492057 >>67492043 (OP) # Please go back to r/greentext or wherever the f--- you came from. : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:33:53 No.67492112 >>67492043 (OP) # >Hi gu- kys

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Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)00:12:02 No.872993953 >match girl on tinder >she wants to f--- >talk for a bit >get nudes >get hotel room >f--- >ghost her >threaten to send nudes to work place 6 KB PNG if she doesn't pay me >pays me hotel room amount and a extra 20$ >never hear from her again 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)00:12:02 No.872993953 >match girl on tinder >she wants to f--- >talk for a bit >get nudes >get hotel room >f--- >ghost her >threaten to send nudes to work place 6 KB PNG if she doesn't pay me >pays me hotel room amount and a extra 20$ >never hear from her again 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)20:19:03 No.872110217 >girl in class I teach cries >took her a lot of courage to call a company and ask for an internship >company rejects her in a very rude way >whole class decided to flood the 8 KB PNG company with bad google reviews I'm proud of these little f----
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)20:19:03 No.872110217 >girl in class I teach cries >took her a lot of courage to call a company and ask for an internship >company rejects her in a very rude way >whole class decided to flood the 8 KB PNG company with bad google reviews I'm proud of these little f----

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Anon thinks taiwan is not real | /r/Greentext

>YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH 130 KB JPG >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw
>YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH 130 KB JPG >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw

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Looking for Chips at the local Burger place | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/18(Mon)12:21:55 No.4398047: ITT: Post your arch-nemesis and why lays I'll start. >Be me >In college 560 KB JPG >Work at burger place on campus (will be left unnamed for privacy) >Not fancy, but not fast food either >Theres this one tard that walks in pretty much every f------ day without his parents >hes like 10 or something >We'll call him Big Tard (he was, to put it lightly, very chubby) >Smells like he hasn't showered in his lifetime >No idea how he even gets here >Every time he comes, he asks for "poato chip" >We don't have potato chips >Whenever I tell him, he gets visibly upset and stands there a while, then f---- off >Tell my manager >She says not to worry about it, leave the guy alone, hes probably just a kid with a mental disability Fast forward to a week or so after I tell my manager >Big Tard comes in with a bright idea >Asks for "potato chip" as usual >I tell him the same thing, trying my best to stay calm >He shouts at the top of his lungs "WHERE IS MY POTATO CHIP" >hes never shouted like this before >tell him to calm down, i dont have any, tell him that theres a convenience store like 2 blocks away >"MOMMY SAID I CAN HAVE POTATO CHIP" >Throws an absolute f------ tantrum >People sitting down look at me like I've done something horrible >He eventually gets tired and leaves after like 10 minutes of tantruming >One customer goes up to me >"You can't treat that kid like that" >Explain >He asks for my manager >Manager gets p----- (she's kinda uptight) >She gives me an official warning >p----- the next day >Big Tard comes in >ohno.png >He does the same f------ thing as the previous day >Manager sees >She gets p----- AGAIN >noneofthisismyfault.jpg >She f------ WRITES ME UP >That night, I begin to plan revenge on my bitch of a boss, but mostly on Big Tard >Want to get them both in one blow >idea.mp4 >Run to store >Buy bag of potato chips The next day >Thursday >l have closing duty on Thursdays (will be important later) >big Tard walks in >Demands potato chip >Tell him that I can order some for him to be shipped in, but l'll need his mommy's phone number >He doesn't even f------ question it >An hour later, he shows up with a sticky note with a phone number on it >Note absolutely reeks, don't want to touch it, but the revenge will be worth it >Tell him to come tomorrow at 8 AM sharp (when the store opens) >Say that there will be potato chips right behind the counter no matter what >He's a little annoyed about waiting, but he f---- off for the day A few hours later >Everyone else leaves >Before closing >Tape potato chips under countertop The next day >Call in sick to work >Manager always is the one who covers the counter when I'm gone >Grab phone >Ask friend to drive me to restaurant >He agrees >Tell him to park across the street and stay for a while >He's a bit confused, but he listens >Big Tard waiting outside before store opens, desperate to get in >Pull out phone, open camera >Zoom in on Big Tard (brand new phone, so I can zoom in pretty far with decent video quality) >Start recording > Store opens >Manager hasn't noticed potato chips taped to counter >Big Tard walks in >Demands "potato chip" >Manager says the usual >He tells her about the order I supposedly placed >She has no clue >He gets f------ p----- >She says she has no clue what hes talking about >He climbs over the f------ counter >She tries to stop him >He f------ PUNCHES HER with all of his tard strength >He sees the chips I planted and immediately rips them out from the tape >Screams louder than ever before right into manager's ear "LIAR! LIARI STEALING MY POTATO CHIPI" >She tries to restrain him >He kicks her shin and steps on her foot >Runs out the door >I have it all on video >Send to his mom The next day >Manager p----- at me but worth it >Big Tard walks in with mom >She apologizes for everything he's done >Big Tard never shows up again >Victory >>43981146 # >>43981764 # >>43982074 #
: Anonymous 03/19/18(Mon)12:21:55 No.4398047: ITT: Post your arch-nemesis and why lays I'll start. >Be me >In college 560 KB JPG >Work at burger place on campus (will be left unnamed for privacy) >Not fancy, but not fast food either >Theres this one tard that walks in pretty much every f------ day without his parents >hes like 10 or something >We'll call him Big Tard (he was, to put it lightly, very chubby) >Smells like he hasn't showered in his lifetime >No idea how he even gets here >Every time he comes, he asks for "poato chip" >We don't have potato chips >Whenever I tell him, he gets visibly upset and stands there a while, then f---- off >Tell my manager >She says not to worry about it, leave the guy alone, hes probably just a kid with a mental disability Fast forward to a week or so after I tell my manager >Big Tard comes in with a bright idea >Asks for "potato chip" as usual >I tell him the same thing, trying my best to stay calm >He shouts at the top of his lungs "WHERE IS MY POTATO CHIP" >hes never shouted like this before >tell him to calm down, i dont have any, tell him that theres a convenience store like 2 blocks away >"MOMMY SAID I CAN HAVE POTATO CHIP" >Throws an absolute f------ tantrum >People sitting down look at me like I've done something horrible >He eventually gets tired and leaves after like 10 minutes of tantruming >One customer goes up to me >"You can't treat that kid like that" >Explain >He asks for my manager >Manager gets p----- (she's kinda uptight) >She gives me an official warning >p----- the next day >Big Tard comes in >ohno.png >He does the same f------ thing as the previous day >Manager sees >She gets p----- AGAIN >noneofthisismyfault.jpg >She f------ WRITES ME UP >That night, I begin to plan revenge on my bitch of a boss, but mostly on Big Tard >Want to get them both in one blow >idea.mp4 >Run to store >Buy bag of potato chips The next day >Thursday >l have closing duty on Thursdays (will be important later) >big Tard walks in >Demands potato chip >Tell him that I can order some for him to be shipped in, but l'll need his mommy's phone number >He doesn't even f------ question it >An hour later, he shows up with a sticky note with a phone number on it >Note absolutely reeks, don't want to touch it, but the revenge will be worth it >Tell him to come tomorrow at 8 AM sharp (when the store opens) >Say that there will be potato chips right behind the counter no matter what >He's a little annoyed about waiting, but he f---- off for the day A few hours later >Everyone else leaves >Before closing >Tape potato chips under countertop The next day >Call in sick to work >Manager always is the one who covers the counter when I'm gone >Grab phone >Ask friend to drive me to restaurant >He agrees >Tell him to park across the street and stay for a while >He's a bit confused, but he listens >Big Tard waiting outside before store opens, desperate to get in >Pull out phone, open camera >Zoom in on Big Tard (brand new phone, so I can zoom in pretty far with decent video quality) >Start recording > Store opens >Manager hasn't noticed potato chips taped to counter >Big Tard walks in >Demands "potato chip" >Manager says the usual >He tells her about the order I supposedly placed >She has no clue >He gets f------ p----- >She says she has no clue what hes talking about >He climbs over the f------ counter >She tries to stop him >He f------ PUNCHES HER with all of his tard strength >He sees the chips I planted and immediately rips them out from the tape >Screams louder than ever before right into manager's ear "LIAR! LIARI STEALING MY POTATO CHIPI" >She tries to restrain him >He kicks her shin and steps on her foot >Runs out the door >I have it all on video >Send to his mom The next day >Manager p----- at me but worth it >Big Tard walks in with mom >She apologizes for everything he's done >Big Tard never shows up again >Victory >>43981146 # >>43981764 # >>43982074 #

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nymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 129369200 >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave
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