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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize l'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize l'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?

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anon let's nature take its course | /r/Greentext

>>369286807 (OP) # >be carnival worker >hate your life >sir you need to fasten harness! >shiiet im to big fo this s--- >well im sorry then you can't ride >THA F--- YOU SAY N----! 50 KB JPG >i said enjoy the ride.... (n-----)
>>369286807 (OP) # >be carnival worker >hate your life >sir you need to fasten harness! >shiiet im to big fo this s--- >well im sorry then you can't ride >THA F--- YOU SAY N----! 50 KB JPG >i said enjoy the ride.... (n-----)

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Fancy feast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:18:22 No.6275902 Fancy Feast SOMPLET CHICKEN FEAST CLASSIC PATÉ GOURMET CAT FOD 76011_MAIN._AC_SL1500_V1551805038_jpg 204 KB JPG >250 calories >42 grams of protein Why the f--- aren't you eating this you stupid f---? S00L
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:18:22 No.6275902 Fancy Feast SOMPLET CHICKEN FEAST CLASSIC PATÉ GOURMET CAT FOD 76011_MAIN._AC_SL1500_V1551805038_jpg 204 KB JPG >250 calories >42 grams of protein Why the f--- aren't you eating this you stupid f---? S00L

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Anon is 15 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:13:17 No.37835076 ITT: Post lyrics that hit you hard. >l've spent days trying to decide >Which knives I should use 62 KB JPG to lobotomize >The rotting tumors inside my brain >They're always whispering, "You're not okay." : Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:14:27 No.37835096 >>37835076 (OP) # what an emo little f----- you are
: Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:13:17 No.37835076 ITT: Post lyrics that hit you hard. >l've spent days trying to decide >Which knives I should use 62 KB JPG to lobotomize >The rotting tumors inside my brain >They're always whispering, "You're not okay." : Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:14:27 No.37835096 >>37835076 (OP) # what an emo little f----- you are

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Anon goes to the market | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)01:19:20 No.875107660 >be me first >sad because lockdown f----- and second uni years >sad because just finished elden ring >sad because depressed in general >very clear black gulches beneath my eyes because stress and s--- sleep schedule >just took my 3rd vax shot my 26 KB JPG >feelshorribleman >feel dizzy and weak >ma gets home and ask me to go get something to drink at the minimarket next to home >fuuuuck me >have to go because thirsty as s--- >go wishing to be dead >limbs hurt so f------ much >get drinks >go to check out >usualy i bring along some ecobags >today i forgot because my brain is mush right now >cashier lady knows me since i'm a regular >"no ecobags today?" >"oh, yeah, i forgot about them, been feeling like absolute s---" >"awn, we love that you bring them, and you're always so nice and polite to us." >Very gay cashier at next isle >"Yaaaas you're such a sweetheart" >feelsgoodman >go back home smiling >limbs still hurt like hell
: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)01:19:20 No.875107660 >be me first >sad because lockdown f----- and second uni years >sad because just finished elden ring >sad because depressed in general >very clear black gulches beneath my eyes because stress and s--- sleep schedule >just took my 3rd vax shot my 26 KB JPG >feelshorribleman >feel dizzy and weak >ma gets home and ask me to go get something to drink at the minimarket next to home >fuuuuck me >have to go because thirsty as s--- >go wishing to be dead >limbs hurt so f------ much >get drinks >go to check out >usualy i bring along some ecobags >today i forgot because my brain is mush right now >cashier lady knows me since i'm a regular >"no ecobags today?" >"oh, yeah, i forgot about them, been feeling like absolute s---" >"awn, we love that you bring them, and you're always so nice and polite to us." >Very gay cashier at next isle >"Yaaaas you're such a sweetheart" >feelsgoodman >go back home smiling >limbs still hurt like hell

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Anon blames feminism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)13:39:21 No.67940268 Reports: Ukraine bans all male citizens ages 18 to 60o from leaving the country Аня 20 8 Kobieta O 4 km stąd O mnie I from Kyiv, 4 days l'm here Like travel inst. grand_de_malice 275129177 220249020286427_7764025414268965895_n.png 1.2 MB PNG >be a ukranian women >escape the war, while the entire male population is locked there to fight for your country >arrive in a western country and the first thing you do is create a tinder profile scooping for a local chad, while having no plans to ever go back. Feminism was a mistake, wasn't it : Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)13:43:08 No.67940290 No that's just how women are.
: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)13:39:21 No.67940268 Reports: Ukraine bans all male citizens ages 18 to 60o from leaving the country Аня 20 8 Kobieta O 4 km stąd O mnie I from Kyiv, 4 days l'm here Like travel inst. grand_de_malice 275129177 220249020286427_7764025414268965895_n.png 1.2 MB PNG >be a ukranian women >escape the war, while the entire male population is locked there to fight for your country >arrive in a western country and the first thing you do is create a tinder profile scooping for a local chad, while having no plans to ever go back. Feminism was a mistake, wasn't it : Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)13:43:08 No.67940290 No that's just how women are.

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Anon is woke | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)01:26:38 No.875110744 >l am the only real person in existence. Everyone who believes what i believe is right. Everything I believe is right. Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong and retarded. I am amazing and everyone else is a stupid idiot moron. 21 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)01:26:38 No.875110744 >l am the only real person in existence. Everyone who believes what i believe is right. Everything I believe is right. Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong and retarded. I am amazing and everyone else is a stupid idiot moron. 21 KB JPG

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Anon is right | /r/Greentext

03/25/22(Fri)22:09:23 No.161932586 Anonymous! Japan appreciation Thread Admit it this is the best country on planet earth. 6 KB PNG Anonymous [•I 03/25/22(Fri)22:11:25 No.161932641 >>161932586 (OP) Japan honestly sounds perfect in everyway except for their wageslave culture. I couldn't imagine dedicating that much of your life to the wagecage. Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)22:15:37 No.161932755 >>161932641 >Japan honestly sounds perfect in everyway except for their wageslave culture. true.
03/25/22(Fri)22:09:23 No.161932586 Anonymous! Japan appreciation Thread Admit it this is the best country on planet earth. 6 KB PNG Anonymous [•I 03/25/22(Fri)22:11:25 No.161932641 >>161932586 (OP) Japan honestly sounds perfect in everyway except for their wageslave culture. I couldn't imagine dedicating that much of your life to the wagecage. Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)22:15:37 No.161932755 >>161932641 >Japan honestly sounds perfect in everyway except for their wageslave culture. true.

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Anon lives in an apartment | /r/Greentext

> be me > live in apartment > landlords cat likes to visit me > always comes to me for food and pets > Loves tummy scritches > licks my cheek > Occasionally seeks me out to help with knotted fur (he's old and cant clean himself Jeep had never seen such b------- before 632 КВ PNG properly anymore) > Sweetest cat I've ever met > Never understood why this cat is so attached to me, surely he would prefer his owner who is always around > Today I find out the owner hits him. > Find out the owner feeds him old food > angyjeep.jpg Anyway, what do I do now anons? I'm gonna be moving and can't afford to care for a cat full-time. I'm only really able to afford the food to feed him when he visits me. He's currently napping by my desk.
> be me > live in apartment > landlords cat likes to visit me > always comes to me for food and pets > Loves tummy scritches > licks my cheek > Occasionally seeks me out to help with knotted fur (he's old and cant clean himself Jeep had never seen such b------- before 632 КВ PNG properly anymore) > Sweetest cat I've ever met > Never understood why this cat is so attached to me, surely he would prefer his owner who is always around > Today I find out the owner hits him. > Find out the owner feeds him old food > angyjeep.jpg Anyway, what do I do now anons? I'm gonna be moving and can't afford to care for a cat full-time. I'm only really able to afford the food to feed him when he visits me. He's currently napping by my desk.

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Anon turns 20 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)02:42:13 No.67935027 >be today >my birthday >excited bc 20th should be special >wake up to no texts, not even from family >day goes by, get greeted by nobody >go to the store and buy a cupcake and a candle 53 KB JPG >light it up in my room >play happy birthday song on youtube >currently laying on bed listening to "tears in the rain" if it does get better i hope it happens soon
: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)02:42:13 No.67935027 >be today >my birthday >excited bc 20th should be special >wake up to no texts, not even from family >day goes by, get greeted by nobody >go to the store and buy a cupcake and a candle 53 KB JPG >light it up in my room >play happy birthday song on youtube >currently laying on bed listening to "tears in the rain" if it does get better i hope it happens soon

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I hAvE pTsD fRoM iT | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)15:00:09 No.52228531 >Decide to check out reddit to see if its as bad as everyone says >Go to the r/AmltheAsshole subreddit > First Post I see is of a some bitch getting pregnant at 17 wanting a abortion, boyfriend pleading her to 23 KB JPG keep the child says he'll raise it <Child is born she starts saying 'I HAVE PTSD FROM iT' >Father raises child >ffw 12 years her daughter wants to meet her >Literally wants no contact >Straight up rejects her own child >Everyone cheering her on >Any people who disagree get downvoted into oblivion What the f---? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)15:00:09 No.52228531 >Decide to check out reddit to see if its as bad as everyone says >Go to the r/AmltheAsshole subreddit > First Post I see is of a some bitch getting pregnant at 17 wanting a abortion, boyfriend pleading her to 23 KB JPG keep the child says he'll raise it <Child is born she starts saying 'I HAVE PTSD FROM iT' >Father raises child >ffw 12 years her daughter wants to meet her >Literally wants no contact >Straight up rejects her own child >Everyone cheering her on >Any people who disagree get downvoted into oblivion What the f---? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon goes on a mission | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)11:04:53 No.875119266 > be me > autistic 18 yo parents know it > whenever I get some money from older members of my family mom puts the cash into the box in her room > "I will give you some money but I want it under control" 200 KB PNG > she always gives me like 1€ for one day when my grandma sometimes gives me 100€ out of nowhere >I am sure there is already around 1500€ in that fuarking box > the box is always under control and I am pretty sure mom has a camera somewhere in that room > The secret mission started > at middnight I walked to that room and pretend like I am looking for something >1 "accidentaly" drop the box on the ground > It was from glass so it broke and it made a big noise > noise >I quickly took like 300€ and put it into my socks > my mum came into the room and yelled at me > "What are you doing anon?" > "Ehm I was looking for some book and accidentaly drop the box here are money > "show me your pockets anon" > mfw she didnt found my money > mfw I stole my own money Sorry for my wngllish but I already told you that I am an autoscic persona
: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)11:04:53 No.875119266 > be me > autistic 18 yo parents know it > whenever I get some money from older members of my family mom puts the cash into the box in her room > "I will give you some money but I want it under control" 200 KB PNG > she always gives me like 1€ for one day when my grandma sometimes gives me 100€ out of nowhere >I am sure there is already around 1500€ in that fuarking box > the box is always under control and I am pretty sure mom has a camera somewhere in that room > The secret mission started > at middnight I walked to that room and pretend like I am looking for something >1 "accidentaly" drop the box on the ground > It was from glass so it broke and it made a big noise > noise >I quickly took like 300€ and put it into my socks > my mum came into the room and yelled at me > "What are you doing anon?" > "Ehm I was looking for some book and accidentaly drop the box here are money > "show me your pockets anon" > mfw she didnt found my money > mfw I stole my own money Sorry for my wngllish but I already told you that I am an autoscic persona

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Anon's last day of school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/19(Fri)16:24:56 No.805000813 >be me >hippie in final year of high school >one of my teachers was a real d--- to me the whole year >always picking on me in class >last day of school.mp4 >decide to play a prank on him >bring a 250ug tab of Isd to class 1.75 MB PNG >go to class really early >teacher isn't there but his water bottle is on his desk >it's showtime.jpg >slip the tab into his drink bottle >go hide in the bathroom for 20 minutes until the class starts >arrive in class just after everyone else >sit in the back row >teacher keeps sipping from his water bottle every few minutes >half an hour later he starts forgetting what he's talking about and going off track >he finished his water and spits out the tab with an angry and confused look on his face >he knows.mp3 >he says he feels sick and excuses himself to the restroom >he comes back 15 minutes later with the principal >mfw he knew it was Isd >mfw they checked the security cameras and saw me put it in his drink >mfw I'm facing second degree assault charges >mfw l'm 18 and I'm probably going to prison
: Anonymous 07/19/19(Fri)16:24:56 No.805000813 >be me >hippie in final year of high school >one of my teachers was a real d--- to me the whole year >always picking on me in class >last day of school.mp4 >decide to play a prank on him >bring a 250ug tab of Isd to class 1.75 MB PNG >go to class really early >teacher isn't there but his water bottle is on his desk >it's showtime.jpg >slip the tab into his drink bottle >go hide in the bathroom for 20 minutes until the class starts >arrive in class just after everyone else >sit in the back row >teacher keeps sipping from his water bottle every few minutes >half an hour later he starts forgetting what he's talking about and going off track >he finished his water and spits out the tab with an angry and confused look on his face >he knows.mp3 >he says he feels sick and excuses himself to the restroom >he comes back 15 minutes later with the principal >mfw he knew it was Isd >mfw they checked the security cameras and saw me put it in his drink >mfw I'm facing second degree assault charges >mfw l'm 18 and I'm probably going to prison

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Anon has to fart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Anon the muscle girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting shoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #
: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting shoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #

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Anon makes mystery | /r/Greentext

File: 1338635025178.jpg-(22 KB, 253x256, 1330291018611.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: JR83QLK5) 06/02/12(Sat)07:03:45 No.403635107 1) piss on a plate 2) put it in the freezer 3) wait till late at night when its frozen 4) take the piss disc off the plate 5) slide it under someone's door 6) they'll wake up to a mysterious puddle of piss on their floor 5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view. 16
File: 1338635025178.jpg-(22 KB, 253x256, 1330291018611.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: JR83QLK5) 06/02/12(Sat)07:03:45 No.403635107 1) piss on a plate 2) put it in the freezer 3) wait till late at night when its frozen 4) take the piss disc off the plate 5) slide it under someone's door 6) they'll wake up to a mysterious puddle of piss on their floor 5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view. 16

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Anon makes a Friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)20:34:50 No.788782642 Story time >be me 16 at the time >high school >mates and | sneak away every lunch or free period and smoke weed 20 KB JPG >420.jpeg >do this all year >have retard kid in class, doug >dunno how but doug manages to follow us one lunch and watches us smoking weed >we see doug, didn't need him blabbing about it >we must befriend the tard >call doug over, show him how to light up >doug gets stoned >doug loves it, totally chill too >tard is cool keeping it secret >one day, doug lights up with us >"wanna hear why I like smoking anon?" >"I become a baked potato" >good on ya dougie, f------ champion.
: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)20:34:50 No.788782642 Story time >be me 16 at the time >high school >mates and | sneak away every lunch or free period and smoke weed 20 KB JPG >420.jpeg >do this all year >have retard kid in class, doug >dunno how but doug manages to follow us one lunch and watches us smoking weed >we see doug, didn't need him blabbing about it >we must befriend the tard >call doug over, show him how to light up >doug gets stoned >doug loves it, totally chill too >tard is cool keeping it secret >one day, doug lights up with us >"wanna hear why I like smoking anon?" >"I become a baked potato" >good on ya dougie, f------ champion.

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Just anon and his dog | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy
| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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Average American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)21:34:35 No.875100247 >be argentinafag >older sister marrying a gringo >invite family to her and husbands MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN house in North Carolina >suppose to stay in their house >arrive in driveway, have Trump flags, let's go Brandon flag 17 KB JPG >dad saying w--, mom gets scared >sister greets us, dad asks about flags, she ignores him >fast forward to dinner time >go out to eat to some local place >sister fiancé starts talking Joe Biden >says Joe Biden is a communist, sex trafficker >says Hillary Clinton is also a sex trafficker >starts talking about Qanon >thought it was just a 4chan meme >mom is visibly nervous >get back to their house >dad now finding an excuse to put us up in a hotel This is my first time ever visiting USA and I must say it has been completely ruined. How can I convince my sister this guy is a f------ crazy a------? Pretty sure my mom is going to have a heart attack
: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)21:34:35 No.875100247 >be argentinafag >older sister marrying a gringo >invite family to her and husbands MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN house in North Carolina >suppose to stay in their house >arrive in driveway, have Trump flags, let's go Brandon flag 17 KB JPG >dad saying w--, mom gets scared >sister greets us, dad asks about flags, she ignores him >fast forward to dinner time >go out to eat to some local place >sister fiancé starts talking Joe Biden >says Joe Biden is a communist, sex trafficker >says Hillary Clinton is also a sex trafficker >starts talking about Qanon >thought it was just a 4chan meme >mom is visibly nervous >get back to their house >dad now finding an excuse to put us up in a hotel This is my first time ever visiting USA and I must say it has been completely ruined. How can I convince my sister this guy is a f------ crazy a------? Pretty sure my mom is going to have a heart attack

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Anon making toast for coworker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble

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