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For The King | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >Good art >Terrible fetish Every time. >>144522114 # 07/12/24(Fri)07:17:39 No.144469980
Anonymous >Good art >Terrible fetish Every time. >>144522114 # 07/12/24(Fri)07:17:39 No.144469980

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Why does this keep happening? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 492 KB GIF after the second 08/10/18(Fri)16:14:59 No.11043406 >whiteboy says he wants his plate spicy >give him a quarter twist of black pepper >supresses tears after the first bite > falls out of his chair sobbing >ends up getting taken away in an ambulance why are all white people like this?
Anonymous 492 KB GIF after the second 08/10/18(Fri)16:14:59 No.11043406 >whiteboy says he wants his plate spicy >give him a quarter twist of black pepper >supresses tears after the first bite > falls out of his chair sobbing >ends up getting taken away in an ambulance why are all white people like this?

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Harry Potter and the Gastric Upset | /r/Greentext

File: Calm.jpg (42 KB, 561x482) Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)17:48:51 No.201751309 >>201752733 >>201752879 >>201753394 >>201753646 >>201754190 >BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPFFFffffppPff >"Professor please! There must be another way!" >>201751790 >>201752265 >"I'm sorry Harry, the 23andme results were conclusive", dumbledore could barely hide his disgust beneath his murderous glee >"But its only 3%, thats nothing!" Harry fought with all his might but the professors spells were strong, the butt plug wasn't moving, but the pressure building inside him was otherworldly >ITS EVERYTHING!!! Roared the professor, I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE SORTING HAT CHECK YOUR "EARLY LIFE" FROM THE SECOND I SAW YOUR NET WORTH! >REST ASSURED THE FLUE NETWORK I INSTALLED UNDER THE MUMBAI STORM DRAINS THAT I HAVE NOW EXPERTLY ROUTED INTO YOUR A------ WILL ADVANCE MY PLANS QUITE SUFFICIENTLY POTTER WHEN YOU DESTROY YOUR OWN PEOPLE! >With a well practiced stretch of his legs the professor in one smooth motion roundhouse kicked harry through a waiting flue portal and removed the charms stopping Harry exploding from the 3 gigatones of Indian grade sewage now building up inside him >As he clattered to the floor and with just a few seconds of agonising life left Harry just had time to notice where he had been sent to die >Tel Aviv >the last thing harry felt was the butt plug apparate into nonexistence under the pressure of the Indian nation's finest diarrhea >the explosion that followed levelled Tel Aviv, and poisoned all of Israel for 1000 generations >redeem that, said dumbledore calmly Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)17:54:43 No.201751446 kino >> Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)18:11:15 No.201751736 ► My favorite part from the books. Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)18:21:49 No.201751890 the audiobook is great during this part. Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)21:01:25 No.201754190 >>201751309 (OP) he didn't s--- that
File: Calm.jpg (42 KB, 561x482) Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)17:48:51 No.201751309 >>201752733 >>201752879 >>201753394 >>201753646 >>201754190 >BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPFFFffffppPff >"Professor please! There must be another way!" >>201751790 >>201752265 >"I'm sorry Harry, the 23andme results were conclusive", dumbledore could barely hide his disgust beneath his murderous glee >"But its only 3%, thats nothing!" Harry fought with all his might but the professors spells were strong, the butt plug wasn't moving, but the pressure building inside him was otherworldly >ITS EVERYTHING!!! Roared the professor, I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE SORTING HAT CHECK YOUR "EARLY LIFE" FROM THE SECOND I SAW YOUR NET WORTH! >REST ASSURED THE FLUE NETWORK I INSTALLED UNDER THE MUMBAI STORM DRAINS THAT I HAVE NOW EXPERTLY ROUTED INTO YOUR A------ WILL ADVANCE MY PLANS QUITE SUFFICIENTLY POTTER WHEN YOU DESTROY YOUR OWN PEOPLE! >With a well practiced stretch of his legs the professor in one smooth motion roundhouse kicked harry through a waiting flue portal and removed the charms stopping Harry exploding from the 3 gigatones of Indian grade sewage now building up inside him >As he clattered to the floor and with just a few seconds of agonising life left Harry just had time to notice where he had been sent to die >Tel Aviv >the last thing harry felt was the butt plug apparate into nonexistence under the pressure of the Indian nation's finest diarrhea >the explosion that followed levelled Tel Aviv, and poisoned all of Israel for 1000 generations >redeem that, said dumbledore calmly Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)17:54:43 No.201751446 kino >> Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)18:11:15 No.201751736 ► My favorite part from the books. Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)18:21:49 No.201751890 the audiobook is great during this part. Anonymous 07/26/24(Fri)21:01:25 No.201754190 >>201751309 (OP) he didn't s--- that

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Guided relationship | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)17:43:22 No. 78252354 images (39).jpg 36 KB JPG >be me >meet girl with nice niche interest or ability >oh how did you learn that? >from my dad/ex bf Every single time
Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)17:43:22 No. 78252354 images (39).jpg 36 KB JPG >be me >meet girl with nice niche interest or ability >oh how did you learn that? >from my dad/ex bf Every single time

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Anon has proof. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 495 KB JPG 07/28/24(Sun)20:10:23 No.78313211 PROOF WE ARE LIVING IN A SIMULATION!! I have been scared to post this, because people are going to make fun of me or say I'm crazy, but I've thought something for years and I want to see if it's just me.. All of the artisan and specialty breads at grocery stores are PROOF we are actually living in a simulation. Nobody buys this bread. Ever. I never see it in someone's cart. I never see someone checking out with a massive red pepper asiago loaf the size of a basketball. In all my years I've never walked into a friends home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia. I've never even heard of a "Sourdough Boule" and respectfully I am not sure they even exist. Nobody is baking these. Nobody is buying these. Nobody is eating these. They are just there. Every time. Just like last time. Being walked past. The bread is a decoration. The bread is a simulation. Anonymous >>78313211 (OP) 07/28/24(Sun)20:40:25 No.78313510 >both my social group and I are too poor for fancy bread >this is proof that we live in a simulation
Anonymous 495 KB JPG 07/28/24(Sun)20:10:23 No.78313211 PROOF WE ARE LIVING IN A SIMULATION!! I have been scared to post this, because people are going to make fun of me or say I'm crazy, but I've thought something for years and I want to see if it's just me.. All of the artisan and specialty breads at grocery stores are PROOF we are actually living in a simulation. Nobody buys this bread. Ever. I never see it in someone's cart. I never see someone checking out with a massive red pepper asiago loaf the size of a basketball. In all my years I've never walked into a friends home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia. I've never even heard of a "Sourdough Boule" and respectfully I am not sure they even exist. Nobody is baking these. Nobody is buying these. Nobody is eating these. They are just there. Every time. Just like last time. Being walked past. The bread is a decoration. The bread is a simulation. Anonymous >>78313211 (OP) 07/28/24(Sun)20:40:25 No.78313510 >both my social group and I are too poor for fancy bread >this is proof that we live in a simulation

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Anon is no longer delusional and was in purgatory (before, after and) during COVID like the rest of us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous runs 186 KB JPG >It's freaking hard >But It pays off 07/28/24(Sun)15:29:21 No.922028674 >Be me >Been feeling lonely since I was 14 >Without a kiss, hand to hold, or hug, still a virgin >Thought about ending it every day >Turned 18 and decided to improve myself >Eat healthier, go on daily walks, >Met a cute girl boy stat my virginity ouch >the's an inggit Happiest I've ever been We're gonna make it, bros. See you on the other side.
: Anonymous runs 186 KB JPG >It's freaking hard >But It pays off 07/28/24(Sun)15:29:21 No.922028674 >Be me >Been feeling lonely since I was 14 >Without a kiss, hand to hold, or hug, still a virgin >Thought about ending it every day >Turned 18 and decided to improve myself >Eat healthier, go on daily walks, >Met a cute girl boy stat my virginity ouch >the's an inggit Happiest I've ever been We're gonna make it, bros. See you on the other side.

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Anon questions American aim | /r/Greentext

File: Shooting at the 'Lympics.jpg (33 KB, 720x829) 2024 Olympics > Shooting Olympic Games Paris 2024 Medals Schedule & Results Overview Teams Events 2 о 2 Team 1 China 2 South Korea 1 2 0 3 3 = Italy 0 1 1 2 4 India 0 0 1 1 4 Kazakhstan United States 0 о 1 1 0 0 0 ☐ Anonymous 07/29/24(Mon)00:47:13 No.922032553 ► I guess if the targets were smaller and hiding under desks, the Americans would have better aim. print (my_fortune) Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail
File: Shooting at the 'Lympics.jpg (33 KB, 720x829) 2024 Olympics > Shooting Olympic Games Paris 2024 Medals Schedule & Results Overview Teams Events 2 о 2 Team 1 China 2 South Korea 1 2 0 3 3 = Italy 0 1 1 2 4 India 0 0 1 1 4 Kazakhstan United States 0 о 1 1 0 0 0 ☐ Anonymous 07/29/24(Mon)00:47:13 No.922032553 ► I guess if the targets were smaller and hiding under desks, the Americans would have better aim. print (my_fortune) Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

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Cold On The Cob | /r/Greentext

File: 1289152006.jpg-(79 KB, 840x780, ImSoBritish.jpg) I'M SO BRITISH >> I S--- THE QUEEN Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12:46:46 No.285473XXX >my face when americans call "wobbly flip-shutters" doors >my face when americans call a "Small Ben" a clock >my face when americans call a "chimey pushknob" a doorbell >my face when americans call "niffy loo pudding" feces >my face when americans call a "Hooty tooty point and shooty" a gun >my face when Americans call a "beef wellington ensemble with lettuce" a hamburger >my face when americans call "crockety snapwickets" markers >my face when americans call "cold on the cob" popsicles >my face when americans call a "loony chuckle fairy" a clown >my face when americans call a "cuff-link time Johnny" a watch Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12:49:07 No.285473XXX I lol'd...hard Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12:49:44 No.285473XXX >cold on the cob LOL Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:51:04 No.285474XXX I'm English, and these are funny. Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12-51-16 No 285474XXX
File: 1289152006.jpg-(79 KB, 840x780, ImSoBritish.jpg) I'M SO BRITISH >> I S--- THE QUEEN Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12:46:46 No.285473XXX >my face when americans call "wobbly flip-shutters" doors >my face when americans call a "Small Ben" a clock >my face when americans call a "chimey pushknob" a doorbell >my face when americans call "niffy loo pudding" feces >my face when americans call a "Hooty tooty point and shooty" a gun >my face when Americans call a "beef wellington ensemble with lettuce" a hamburger >my face when americans call "crockety snapwickets" markers >my face when americans call "cold on the cob" popsicles >my face when americans call a "loony chuckle fairy" a clown >my face when americans call a "cuff-link time Johnny" a watch Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12:49:07 No.285473XXX I lol'd...hard Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12:49:44 No.285473XXX >cold on the cob LOL Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:51:04 No.285474XXX I'm English, and these are funny. Anonymous 11/07/10 (Sun)12-51-16 No 285474XXX

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As long as the fishing minigame is good this all doesn't matter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/24(Fri)08:02:51 No.677444179 >Boot up game >Unskippable splash screens >RYZEN™ >AMD™M >NVIDIA™ >GEARBOX™ 76 KB JPG >EATM >FLOYDSNEED TOⓇO TECHNOLOGY >Unskippable animation of player interacting with button/object >PRESS E TO [INTERACT] WITH [INTERACTION OBJECT] >Unskippable exposition/cutscene
Anonymous 05/24/24(Fri)08:02:51 No.677444179 >Boot up game >Unskippable splash screens >RYZEN™ >AMD™M >NVIDIA™ >GEARBOX™ 76 KB JPG >EATM >FLOYDSNEED TOⓇO TECHNOLOGY >Unskippable animation of player interacting with button/object >PRESS E TO [INTERACT] WITH [INTERACTION OBJECT] >Unskippable exposition/cutscene

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Self improvement done right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)07:50:06 No.201662767 IMG_4526.gif 1.14 MB GIF >bullied character's boobs grow >suddenly everyone is much nicer to her
Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)07:50:06 No.201662767 IMG_4526.gif 1.14 MB GIF >bullied character's boobs grow >suddenly everyone is much nicer to her

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Mans best friend | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 101 KB JPG 11/11/21(Thu)05:47:59 No.66114418 >have gf >am playing with the dog cus he cute >gf then asks me "me or dog?" >answered dog with no hesitation >she flippin' out w-- is wrong with hoes man? like she set herself don't blame it on me and pooch. up
⠀ Anonymous 101 KB JPG 11/11/21(Thu)05:47:59 No.66114418 >have gf >am playing with the dog cus he cute >gf then asks me "me or dog?" >answered dog with no hesitation >she flippin' out w-- is wrong with hoes man? like she set herself don't blame it on me and pooch. up

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Anon decides to improve | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous runs 186 KB JPG >It's freaking hard >But It pays off 07/28/24(Sun)15:29:21 No.922028674 >Be me >Been feeling lonely since I was 14 >Without a kiss, hand to hold, or hug, still a virgin >Thought about ending it every day >Turned 18 and decided to improve myself >Eat healthier, go on daily walks, >Met a cute girlfriend >Lost my virginity >She's an amazing girl >Happiest I've ever been We're gonna make it, bros. See you on the other side.
: Anonymous runs 186 KB JPG >It's freaking hard >But It pays off 07/28/24(Sun)15:29:21 No.922028674 >Be me >Been feeling lonely since I was 14 >Without a kiss, hand to hold, or hug, still a virgin >Thought about ending it every day >Turned 18 and decided to improve myself >Eat healthier, go on daily walks, >Met a cute girlfriend >Lost my virginity >She's an amazing girl >Happiest I've ever been We're gonna make it, bros. See you on the other side.

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Circzophrenia | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/28/24(Sun)17:13:07 No.78311452 R Joe Rogan schools Milo Yiannopoulos on circumcision Retart Cake 32K views • 6 years ago 137 KB PNG >Watches Video >Reads his Wikipedia page as usual >Far-Right >P-------- advocate >Jew Many Such cases 3:37
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/28/24(Sun)17:13:07 No.78311452 R Joe Rogan schools Milo Yiannopoulos on circumcision Retart Cake 32K views • 6 years ago 137 KB PNG >Watches Video >Reads his Wikipedia page as usual >Far-Right >P-------- advocate >Jew Many Such cases 3:37

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Anon keeps the bro code | /r/Greentext

girl on texts, 18 I don't know if I'm very brave or not enough No. 904587222 08/19/23(Sat)00:49:29 IMG_1359.jpg 42 KB 669x675 >be me >19 >tonight I was talking with a really cute >convo turns sexual, and I work what little magic I have >she lives close and wants me >she goes to sleep, and I decide to look her up on insta really quick >oh >oh no >I see her with a guy I met in college track, let's call him joe >amazing guy, one of the best fellas I ever met >they have photos together going a while back >I remember first meeting him, and learned that he felt like s--- cause a relationship he thought was gonna be forever ended with the girl dumping him >it hits me >this is the girl >this is the girl he loved >I can't do it anons, I don't see action very often but I would never do this to joe. He will never learn of this, so I wanted to tell you so someone knows this existed.
girl on texts, 18 I don't know if I'm very brave or not enough No. 904587222 08/19/23(Sat)00:49:29 IMG_1359.jpg 42 KB 669x675 >be me >19 >tonight I was talking with a really cute >convo turns sexual, and I work what little magic I have >she lives close and wants me >she goes to sleep, and I decide to look her up on insta really quick >oh >oh no >I see her with a guy I met in college track, let's call him joe >amazing guy, one of the best fellas I ever met >they have photos together going a while back >I remember first meeting him, and learned that he felt like s--- cause a relationship he thought was gonna be forever ended with the girl dumping him >it hits me >this is the girl >this is the girl he loved >I can't do it anons, I don't see action very often but I would never do this to joe. He will never learn of this, so I wanted to tell you so someone knows this existed.

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Anon thinks its the watermelons | /r/Greentext

File: PepeShock.png (549 KB, 2801x2121) ☐ Anonymous 07/28/24(Sun)15:06:36 No.78309304 [Reply] >take a s--- >wipe ass >use water >still wet >?? >look at toilet paper >redder than a f------ tomato >?!?! >finish s------- >look at toilet >dry ass >wipe ass >wet feeling >Huh? Must be diarrhea from all the watermelons | ate. >Maybe I should wipe some more. >wipe >wipe >wipe >water could be called Red Sea F------ hell, why does this keep happening to me?
File: PepeShock.png (549 KB, 2801x2121) ☐ Anonymous 07/28/24(Sun)15:06:36 No.78309304 [Reply] >take a s--- >wipe ass >use water >still wet >?? >look at toilet paper >redder than a f------ tomato >?!?! >finish s------- >look at toilet >dry ass >wipe ass >wet feeling >Huh? Must be diarrhea from all the watermelons | ate. >Maybe I should wipe some more. >wipe >wipe >wipe >water could be called Red Sea F------ hell, why does this keep happening to me?

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No respect! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 184 KB JPG 07/28/24(Sun)12:38:54 No.27846658 >Last week I bought a Tesla. >I tell ya, they ain't lying when they say it's an off-road vehicle. >It's been off the road and in the service center since I got it!
: Anonymous 184 KB JPG 07/28/24(Sun)12:38:54 No.27846658 >Last week I bought a Tesla. >I tell ya, they ain't lying when they say it's an off-road vehicle. >It's been off the road and in the service center since I got it!

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Tory Tales | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: X9MgXicl) 07/28/24(Sun)12:14:33 No.475977503 vantablack @DKEvanoff Biden- "If you make over 400k a year your taxes will be higher." Guys from my high school that make 35K a year- 286 KB PNG Let me give out an economic literacy lesson as my county learned this the hard way in the 1970s >Increase government spending >Increase tax on high earners >High earners move to a country with lower taxes >No money to spend on spending >Government goes bankrupt >The regular, working people are forced to pay for it A tale as old as time. I thought Americans knew better than this.
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: X9MgXicl) 07/28/24(Sun)12:14:33 No.475977503 vantablack @DKEvanoff Biden- "If you make over 400k a year your taxes will be higher." Guys from my high school that make 35K a year- 286 KB PNG Let me give out an economic literacy lesson as my county learned this the hard way in the 1970s >Increase government spending >Increase tax on high earners >High earners move to a country with lower taxes >No money to spend on spending >Government goes bankrupt >The regular, working people are forced to pay for it A tale as old as time. I thought Americans knew better than this.

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Anon talk about the savages in africa | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous (ID: JI1BXIAO) 07/28/24(Sun)15:10:06 No.475962001 ►>>475962177 >>475962322 >>475962646 >>475963419 >>475963463 >>475963652 >>475964679 >>475964922 >>4759651 >>475967760 >>475968151 >>475968304 >>475969277 >>475969371 >>475969441 >>475970655 >>475970839 >>475971095 >be powerfull tribe in africa >kidnap the opposite weaker tribes >chaindown the women up to 1000 in tiny dark and humid cells, in their own feces urines, and dead bodies for weeks and have them fight to the death for tiny amount of foods >still hundred of years later we can see nails scraps on the walls, and the dead body and feces, blood create a 1 inche thick layers of matter on the ground. >attach rebellous females by chain alll days in the sun, naked with no food or water untill they are weak >every males gang r--- her all troughout >behead the females found unnatractive or pregnant from the opposite tribe >all that while praying in the room above the prisonner to their cultish god for prosperity and to be blessed for their good deeds in the world. >pic unrelated >be european slavers in the cape coast slave castle
☐ Anonymous (ID: JI1BXIAO) 07/28/24(Sun)15:10:06 No.475962001 ►>>475962177 >>475962322 >>475962646 >>475963419 >>475963463 >>475963652 >>475964679 >>475964922 >>4759651 >>475967760 >>475968151 >>475968304 >>475969277 >>475969371 >>475969441 >>475970655 >>475970839 >>475971095 >be powerfull tribe in africa >kidnap the opposite weaker tribes >chaindown the women up to 1000 in tiny dark and humid cells, in their own feces urines, and dead bodies for weeks and have them fight to the death for tiny amount of foods >still hundred of years later we can see nails scraps on the walls, and the dead body and feces, blood create a 1 inche thick layers of matter on the ground. >attach rebellous females by chain alll days in the sun, naked with no food or water untill they are weak >every males gang r--- her all troughout >behead the females found unnatractive or pregnant from the opposite tribe >all that while praying in the room above the prisonner to their cultish god for prosperity and to be blessed for their good deeds in the world. >pic unrelated >be european slavers in the cape coast slave castle

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Fallen from grace | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 128MICyr) [] 07/23/24(Tue)00:46:53 No.475265051 BidenMay312024-scaled-1-1536x1024.jpg 144 KB JPG >Most votes ever for a president >Can't run for re-election due to low popularity How does this happen?
Anonymous (ID: 128MICyr) [] 07/23/24(Tue)00:46:53 No.475265051 BidenMay312024-scaled-1-1536x1024.jpg 144 KB JPG >Most votes ever for a president >Can't run for re-election due to low popularity How does this happen?

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For Prosperity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat) 13:11:36 No.144485781 ywqnj5y6en9a1.png 760 KB PNG 101 >Be Disney >Make a movie >Have the character pawed at by an animal slightly pulling their pants down >Have to make a choice >Either specifically animate underwear on a Disney character >Or show only bare skin which implies a lack of underwear entirely What would YOU have done in this situation What COLOUR would you have chosen if you went the underwear route?
: Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat) 13:11:36 No.144485781 ywqnj5y6en9a1.png 760 KB PNG 101 >Be Disney >Make a movie >Have the character pawed at by an animal slightly pulling their pants down >Have to make a choice >Either specifically animate underwear on a Disney character >Or show only bare skin which implies a lack of underwear entirely What would YOU have done in this situation What COLOUR would you have chosen if you went the underwear route?

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